theSam!!'s top 20
theSam!!'s top 20 signs that thePrincess doesn't like you is currently in
the works.
Now for those of you here that don't know me, I'm Night Security for
one of the vaunted Princess Lodges here in AK.
Just which one? Your guess is as good as mine. I'm surrounded by trees,
and hot chicks/Princesses'.
theSam’s!!
Top 20 Signs that thePrincess Hates You.
20. You always get the the ATV (to patrol grounds) with the flate tires, no gas and a dead battery.
19. She sends you out on Bear watch……alone……with chicken patties, beef stroganoff, fish soup and ham sandwiches.
18. Instead of a really cool high powered Mag-Lite to see in theDark, thePrincess hands you a book of matches and a Bic lighter.
<strong>17. Your office / locker is also the Maintenance broom closet!
16. She refers to you as “Our Little Mascot” as she dresses you up in the poly-wool blend “Moose-theme suit” to send away the 8:00a.m. tourists or to receive the 5:00p.m. guests..
15. The job description in your contract includes: Van crash test dummy, Sleep deprivation test subject, Sanitation engineer, Behavioral specialist / mind reader, Janitorial expert, Service elevator hobbyist, Behind-the-lines Line Cook, Electrical engineer, Maintenance guru, Baby-sitter and All around Shoulder-to-Cry-on.
14. Instead of a radio to use, you get a tin can and string. And even though the Alaska State Troopers are just a phone call away thePrincess tells you that “Only sissies call for backup”.
13. She makes up fake “early morning passenger transfers lists” and send you halfway to Valdez or Chitna to look for them.
12. High speed Internet access?? Nope, thePrincess gives you an “Etch-a-Sketch”, lots of Butchers paper and some Crayons. Meanwhile at Seattle Corporate, scientists pore over the doodles and sketches from EDR.
11. Your “master key card” that you pick up at Front desk always chirps every time you approach certain “checkpoints” on the Security Watch log.
10. Instead of really cool, fun kids as neighbors or roomies, you’re stuck way out in theWoods in a run down trailer with NO heat, NO power or water and your “friendliest neighbor” is an owly-grouchy Cat that scratches and bites.
09. The phrase “dropping like flies” takes on a whole new meaning because after only 3 months working in Paradise, the Attrition rate for Employees is faster than Navy SEAL trainees during Hell Week.
08. Instead of a Security uniform you were issued a satin tunic and a jeweled tiara.
07. Due to theHigh employee attrition rate your OTHER uniforms are: Server-maroon, Outfitter-blue, Laundry-green, Bellmen-khaki or Bartender-white.
06. There’s a hotline in “A-Bldg commons” directly to theClinic in town where the Medical staff is on 24hr standby awaiting the next Patient-which might be YOU.
05. ThePrincess lied to you abou the end of summer Officer exchange program and put you on a bus for theNorth Slope (or Dawson).
04. Mantenance is always grousing at you for waking them up at 0430hrs because the deep freezers went UP 2 degrees, that the basement is knee-deep in grease trap Overflow or because thePrincess has to keep buying hammers.
03. ThePrincess doesn’t like to be seen with you in Public, nor does she like to be disturbed after hours at thePoint.
02. You do more smiling in 5 months than you’ve EVER done in your entire life and you have the Stepford Wives and several top Hollywood models sending you death threats for being so congenial.
01. Everybody avoids you every time you pull out a pen & paper for fear of being quoted or pointed out to Admin.
You'll see the rest later sillies.
the works.
Now for those of you here that don't know me, I'm Night Security for
one of the vaunted Princess Lodges here in AK.
Just which one? Your guess is as good as mine. I'm surrounded by trees,
and hot chicks/Princesses'.
theSam’s!!
Top 20 Signs that thePrincess Hates You.
20. You always get the the ATV (to patrol grounds) with the flate tires, no gas and a dead battery.
19. She sends you out on Bear watch……alone……with chicken patties, beef stroganoff, fish soup and ham sandwiches.
18. Instead of a really cool high powered Mag-Lite to see in theDark, thePrincess hands you a book of matches and a Bic lighter.
<strong>17. Your office / locker is also the Maintenance broom closet!
16. She refers to you as “Our Little Mascot” as she dresses you up in the poly-wool blend “Moose-theme suit” to send away the 8:00a.m. tourists or to receive the 5:00p.m. guests..
15. The job description in your contract includes: Van crash test dummy, Sleep deprivation test subject, Sanitation engineer, Behavioral specialist / mind reader, Janitorial expert, Service elevator hobbyist, Behind-the-lines Line Cook, Electrical engineer, Maintenance guru, Baby-sitter and All around Shoulder-to-Cry-on.
14. Instead of a radio to use, you get a tin can and string. And even though the Alaska State Troopers are just a phone call away thePrincess tells you that “Only sissies call for backup”.
13. She makes up fake “early morning passenger transfers lists” and send you halfway to Valdez or Chitna to look for them.
12. High speed Internet access?? Nope, thePrincess gives you an “Etch-a-Sketch”, lots of Butchers paper and some Crayons. Meanwhile at Seattle Corporate, scientists pore over the doodles and sketches from EDR.
11. Your “master key card” that you pick up at Front desk always chirps every time you approach certain “checkpoints” on the Security Watch log.
10. Instead of really cool, fun kids as neighbors or roomies, you’re stuck way out in theWoods in a run down trailer with NO heat, NO power or water and your “friendliest neighbor” is an owly-grouchy Cat that scratches and bites.
09. The phrase “dropping like flies” takes on a whole new meaning because after only 3 months working in Paradise, the Attrition rate for Employees is faster than Navy SEAL trainees during Hell Week.
08. Instead of a Security uniform you were issued a satin tunic and a jeweled tiara.
07. Due to theHigh employee attrition rate your OTHER uniforms are: Server-maroon, Outfitter-blue, Laundry-green, Bellmen-khaki or Bartender-white.
06. There’s a hotline in “A-Bldg commons” directly to theClinic in town where the Medical staff is on 24hr standby awaiting the next Patient-which might be YOU.
05. ThePrincess lied to you abou the end of summer Officer exchange program and put you on a bus for theNorth Slope (or Dawson).
04. Mantenance is always grousing at you for waking them up at 0430hrs because the deep freezers went UP 2 degrees, that the basement is knee-deep in grease trap Overflow or because thePrincess has to keep buying hammers.
03. ThePrincess doesn’t like to be seen with you in Public, nor does she like to be disturbed after hours at thePoint.
02. You do more smiling in 5 months than you’ve EVER done in your entire life and you have the Stepford Wives and several top Hollywood models sending you death threats for being so congenial.
01. Everybody avoids you every time you pull out a pen & paper for fear of being quoted or pointed out to Admin.
You'll see the rest later sillies.
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