Showing posts from August, 2008

Serving those....Who Swerve!!

theVPSO Sam!!
SERVING those who Swerve!!

serving stuff like, arrest warrants, court subpeona’s, restrainingOrders and my personal fave-an OverhandVolley baton!!

theVPSO Sam!!
by Wearing Brown & Gold, he makes YOU look good!!

but then again, your Bling-bling bySmith&Wesson or zipTieWite actually makes HIM look good

theVPSO Sam!!
more Rattled!!-Mind than Battle-Mind!!

it’s babySeason!!

it must be something in theWater, even I been putting extra stuff inside theFront part of my BallisticVest and some Adults called me fat!!

oh... gotta go,

some newMama’s are strolling along outside theOffice,
I gotta go peek at theInfants they’re clutching,

Let’s hope they’re not Breastfeeding!!


theVPSO Sam!!
villageRelaxation!! and reportMisRepresentation!!

you should settle down in theVillage!! and get away from Life.
No one works out there, they all Relax!!

and then in drunken diatribes to me, or in Pot induced haze,
Some accuse me of arrestReport Fabrication and w…

Burning Sam!!

aka, more Ripped from theHeadlines!! stuff,

(from a BurningMan!! read I found on theNet!!)

Ten Principles of Burning Man as listed on their website.

Radical Inclusion
Anyone may be a part of Burning Man.
We welcome and respect the stranger.
No prerequisites exist for participation in our community.


But of course, You too Must have Drink in hand, preferably something Vodka or Bourbon, that "burns" and tingles in order to be part of BurningSam!!

And in order to take part in this Radical Inclusion,
we may be total strangers at 7pm. or heck!!, even at 10pm, or even 30mins before closing time.

But immediately after downing several "burn"ing shots and drinks with respective friends,

We experience this RadicalInclusion and are suddenly theBestest!! of friends.... Evah!!

My nice haircut and clean pants & friendly demeanor may be Key to your world, but you being female and having a Pulse!! is preRequisite for your entry into mine!!


Burning Man…

Proud Village!! stars

YourVillageCalled!!, you can have these Idiots back.

Current mood: amused


-Beautiful Henni is from the German village of HansMill in theUpperYVC Region,

Officially, she was a car mechanic from birth, but grew tired of engine oil and gas additives chasing her drinks.

So one day, after her village VPSO ran away screaming, she took the job-but only to be closer to theAlcohol!! ......oh, and she is a real masochist too!!

"After hearing through theGrapevine about that one Southeast regional Officer whom hid from theWildTurkeys in HIS village,

by restraining & hooding himself and locked inside his PatrolVehicle while panicked Villagers!! ran amok after theTurkeyShoot got out of hand-

it just piqued my curiosity," she breathed to us Interviewers through her SpitGuardHood.

"Besides, my grandmother always covers everyone w/ HER shotgun just about everyday, Wouldn't be married today to my 2nd cousin without her!!, so that was no biggy for me, it's just…

theSam!! Defines Good Customer Service!!

more YVCInc Newds!! d:oP

International, National....village!!

Ganged shooterz in busy bar caught in crossfire as drink orders flew!!

Not that theBartender trainees are hoodHomey’s, it’s just that theMusic in theClass room setting is so damn loud, from day One!!,

they had to learn gang handSignals, ‘Hoodlum handSigns, scowling Looks,
smoldering Glares, perfunctory glances, bodySigh shrugs and even intoxicated leans &
schnockered!! sways to communicate!!

wow, I love theBarStars!! class I'm in,
which btw, brings me to this Post's title,

Defining Good Customer Service!!,
I'll do that for you later on so Read and Comprehend closely!!

International, National....Village!!

Pale Lynn / barStar school admin cooperating with former "publicSafety" turned Foodie & Drinkie Investigator!!

Satiated drinkers cancelled a scheduled Pub & Club meetin’, they were so schnockered!!

it was for the good of thePublicSafety that they didn’t go back to theBar!!

Pale Lynn…

Karoake Sam!!

Watch closely!!

Words will appear on theScreen!!

Turn the speakers up and try to sing along with the music!!

just kidding.

I've got 3 guitars for cheap, and a violin, and a Keyboard too.
And what I'm showing you now is just a small portion of the world that I'm rediscovering again,

I'm really happy and amused to, because, when I went to theNative Hospital yesterday and was strumming in the frontFoyer while waiting for the bus,

and I got my first tip!! a $1 bill from 2 young boys.

It's like when I was a Cosmetologist and a Massage Therapist,
you remember that first monetary tip, you remember that first client of yours,

you remember that first time when you were on your own "performing".
I don't know for sure, but I suppose that being an musician performing for others will have fantastic rewards as well.

I will see.
Have a look at what I've shared.


Samuel L Flyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska


theSam!! Guide to Being a Lush!!

theSam!!’s Guide to Being a BarTending Student!!



How To Tell If Your BarStarz!! Instructor Is A Lush!!

1. theFiredFox!! just opened a PopUp Bar window and stole ALL theBooze!!

no wonder class was put off for 13 weeks cos an former student / Instructor got mad.

2. your Instructor begs any of his students for a dollar bill AND a nickel to show them a neat trick,
then pockets the Money!!

-bummed- d:o(

3. On opening Class day, they pass around a square beer coaster and ask everyone to “please Sign In on the Roster List being passed around,

include emergencyContacts, Your Email, a favorite Drink Recipe and your last BAC level from that DUI arrest!!

4. As part of your classTime experience, you all pack into a 15pax van and cruise theDowntown strip on Friday night to Observe theParty crowd,

and indeed, a Priest, a Rabbi and a Man does walk into a bar!!
You'd post to YouTube when the 3Blondes show up but your camera batteries died,

and quite frankly, even with 12pair of student eyes …


Do not fear death; fear the un-lived life.

Translation!!: don't worry about Granma / granpa,

fear theBabyBump!! d:oP under their Grandaughterz "Snoopy", "DARE", "heavyMetalBand" T-shirt, for that cuteBump will soon become a blip on your VPSO radar for 18...

for 72yrs!! even when you've served only a handful of that time in theVillage!!
and they only live to be mid50's!!

An also ran:
.....fear thePissedOff Wife!! d:oO -shocked!!-

theSam!! Hit’s HumpDay!!

bloggist of a thousandPosts,
and yet only 3 comments received as feedback!!


whos head has a thousand hairs!!
but why couldn’t they congregate more on that spot just next to his crown!?

-theSam!!’s RussianBarTender!! / ServerGirl!!
who’s own pixieCut hairdo loses a few hair heads every time she brings his food & drinks!!

and her lungs lose a few sneezing bursts of air too!!
and there was that specimen addition to his OrangeJuice one time.....