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Showing posts from May, 2009

theSam!! Orders a DoubleTall NO Fun!! d:o(

AlaskaVillageTales!! Presents “BaristaSam!!

If You Think!! Seattle has it’s own dialect when it comes to ordering an espresso Drink - it does!!
But theVillage!! Has it’s own dialect when it comes to ordering around theSam!! d:oP

-BEEF it Up!!
Another way of saying, "add another shot of espresso to my coffee?!",

Wrong!!

It's how an Inebriate talks when they're really mad at Sam!!
"Beat him up!!" becomes, "Beef eht upp!!".
And after a few day's of drinking and being angry at Sam!!"Baarfgh upp!!" becomes the newMantra of theNebe!!

-CHER Sugar!!
Is this a pack of Equal!?

Nope. It's what a villageNebe!! (short for Inebriate) does when he shoves his girlFriend in your direction!!

Of course, theSam!! has never had any sugar (of any kind) shared with him at all,

unless!!
Unless theVillage!! shares a drunkenPrisoner or two with theSam!!

-a DOUBLE!!
does this describe how many shots of Espresso a person wants in their drink?! (2 shots)

No!!, it's wh…

Fwd: Someone finally Emails Sam!!

theSam!! sends an Email to Himself!!, Actually it's just to test theEmail to Blogger option, that's probably been available to Sam!! for the last 3 yrs, but having had this Blog now for 5 yrs I still haven't read everything that's available to me to use. ------ -today Sam!! went jogging on the new asphalt pavement bike path that was installed here in theVillage!! back in 2005,
it took me this long to USE the darn path cos, I didn't have a bike, but this time around, theVillageCouncil!! gave me special persmission to RUN on it,

they took one look at me, saw that I had lost a tremendous amount of weight and was in effect, LEAVING them for Army life and they approved just to get rid of me!!

-theCreek!! backed up again by gramma's house, it does that whenever theIce floe's pile up, or logs jam.
*sigh*

I guess I'll have to help mom "relocate" theBodies, so that next year, during MeltOff, theRiver won't jam,
well, gotta run,

We're going to help &quo…

Village Female Sensitivity Test!! d:oP

as ripped from theMySpace site of a dear old friend!!

Subject: Male Sensitivity Test

Body: In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

theSam!!Sez;
In theVillage!!, theGirls just screw theLoveMaker while he takes his lil' foreskin to tunaTown!!

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

theSam!!Knows,
any womans views from just one Hug, and that during thePigskinTour, theBloodTesting / Sharing just kinda takes care of itself but theResults are kinda skewed due to theTequila, Vodka and Whiskey slammers!!

You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

theSam!!Confirms,
actually, you wanna time things to when her Parents are not only using theBathroom, but for the…

101 Things to do with Sam!!

d:oP

101 Things To Do With Sam!!

1. Canoe, kayak or raft down a wilderness River!!
Or just hang him out to dry in theVillage!!, don't support him in his VPSO work and essentially, send him in a canoe down theYukonRiver!!

2. Cross country ski where you make your own trail!!
Then after the subsequent months of being investigated for BootLegging and you're caught Importing into a "DRY" village!!

you can wear Skivvies in jail after your TRIAL!!, after Sam!! drives you across theCountry to said. jail. .

3. Watch a Grizzly bear on theTundra!!
....on theDiscoveryChannel while you're still in jail. Shortly after Sam!! drives you across theMountainous back country to theCityJail!!

4. Explore theGhostTown, aka theVillage!!
especially on dividend payday weekends when only theVPSO!! and one dutiful, cute, HOT babyHungry HealthAide are the only ones left holding down theFort.

erhh..
I just said TOO much didn't I?!

5. Battle a KingSalmon in a stream or on theHighSeas!!
battle the…