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Showing posts from June, 2007

Speaks theSpoof!!

this Message is brought to you by YVC Inc (doh!!),
whom is still giving away a Village!! every week on theInternet.

We decided years ago that "We can't change theWorld, just our VPSO's who serve!!",

So every now and then an Village or two will stone-wall one fine Officers efforts and stymie all progress in theWork of Village Public Safety.

Additional Sponsors include:

--AVA/MFANG; Amalgamated Villages Associations / Member Federation AlaskanNatives Group

Leaders in Transfer Innovation! like, uhm, ya'know?!
Transferring Liquor licenses, Drivers licenses, even State ID cards throughout theRegion!!

We even lead theState in transferring seats While Driving!! Give it a try!!
Our Villagers can change drivers and even change cars while running side-by-side at 80, 100 and 120mph!!

Even at speeds as low as 2mph with both hands OFF the wheel.

--Alaska VillageChixxx!!

Don't Ride your SnowMachines Naked!! Just drive your cars that way.

Proud developers of the"Get Off Me!!"…

theVillageCouncil!! Reacts to Sam!!

theSam!!
Awakening theHearts, Minds and Feelings of Villagers!! everywhere,

Chief, what are you doing under theHouse!?,
yes sir I know that you're grand Kaneebee and all that's sold for half price to wigwam the Church hymns till theSky sings you dry and that every day is exactly theSame!!

But you should go to your house sir! Please!!
Well. No I hadn't really thought of that sir,

Just exactly what do you mean when theApple sips tons of car whirling chairs and theLodge cooks and rivers ornaments by and bye?!
Sir, I said, Get OUT from UNDER theHouse right Now!!

Manda, get out of MY CAR!!
No you can't start theNascarRace this year, It already happened last month and even at that, it was those open faced cars that you don't like,,

what theHell!? now I'm feeding into her delusions.

Manda, MANDA!! get your clothes on and get out of my CrownVictoria,
How'd you get into theTrunk anyway!?

Michael!! Stop!!, Michael cut it out now!!
Young man do you realize that you've got No…

This Is What Friends Are For!!

theSam!!
now approaching 140!!

Posts that is, it's kind of like theCholestrol count or even the Systolic pressure on theBP cuff!!

*sigh*
and sadly, once it was my body weight back in grade school.
Oh to be young again.... and Skinny!!
--------------------------

That's What Friends Are For!!

theSam!! doesn't often take people at their word now adays.

One recent SecurityOfficer buddy of mine, a young, hot Gorgeous Yupik eskimo Gal told me, "Oh, just have people call me for a personal reference for you!"

After some conversation we had one Night while driving around theCity and talking.

Yeah right, and this is coming from someone whom snatched my cellPhone off my belt and programmed in no less than 3 of her contact numbers into it

but never answers her Phones or never comments on text or photos I send to her (pics of her driving, eating at Party, standing and talking to me etc.)

Women are funny and I gave up trying to understand them years ago.

Because it was years ago that I h…

I Am!!

.....and Taylor hobbles into theCheckpoint alongside her hefty Magnum!

That babe is incredible,

After weeks of training after her work hours at theWildernessLodge and then opting to participate in theLocal Community 5Mile Fun Run to Represent (and Resent!!) her AlaskanPrincessLodge where she works as Server, BarTender, 3rdLineCook and LoungeDancer!!

She's finally able to show theRest of theValley just what it means to be a Princess!!

Is it theFact that she's Barefoot!?

Is it theFact that she's only sporting thePainted on race Number and NOTHING else?!

Or maybe it's theFact that "technically" she does have a bicycle at her side,
or at least theMagnum name,

as that is a line Name of bicycles, but theMagnum she has at her side is a bottle of spirits!!

As most of you Shooters know, that after a few shots of Magnum, you think you can fly or sing, dance or in this case,

that you are actually "riding an bicycle" as part of theRace you are participating in, as we …

VillageNetworkNews!!

VillageNewsNetwork!!
most distrusted, most annoying, Mostly plagarising!!

VillageNewsNetwork!!
dizziness and fainting may occur after hearing news about YOU,
before it even happens!!

......and sometimes after it happens too when you never even told anyone!!

VillageNewsNetwork!!
how big is it?! (theVNN!! that is, get your mind out of theGutter!!)
almost as big as a VillageChick's little pinkie!!

But theVNN isn't quite as big as a few of theRegional VPSO's,
as we all know how much any kind of village news grapevine just withers away
and ceases when confronted.

VillageNewsNetwork!!
if your Rep isn't becoming to you,
Don't be coming to us!!

VillageNewsNetwork!!
gossip and stories so Low, we can't reveal our Sources!!
they reveal themselves enough stripping after drinking too much anyway.

NillageVewsNetwork!!
VPSO's inhale as bud of Pot burns!!
and then after catching just a teensy wifff (for Educational purposes)
class convenes for huge Lunch!!

VillageNewsNetwork!!
Sanity finally ma…

Princess Pill

Due to recent weather & atmospheric conditions, theFollowing AlaskanPrincess Lodge Activities are Discouraged until Further Notice!!:

-Painting theBar walls with your Roomies butt.

Remember that they have "Backs", "Legs" and even Hair too that you can use. Diversify!!

-Making smiley faces in Ketsup, Mayo and Mustard on all BurgerBunz & Sandwiches before serving them to theGuests!!

We don't care if 2 Servers and NightSecurity were Art Majors at one time.

-Funneling beer through theKitchen turkey basters, theMotorPool Oil funnels or NightSecurity's shotgun barrel!!

You kidz, what ever happened to theGood old days of just using the damn cans and bottles the stuff came in?!

-Laundry origami.

I do not like it when some smart aleck decides to "shortsheet" a few guests. And although some Guests like to see "mountains", "Oceans" and even diaramas of theLodge or theState done to their room furnishings,

Sadly, some Guests do not appreci…

It's Whats for Dinner!!

She's What's For Dinner!!

theSam!!
"Waiter, there's a Fly in my Soup!!

theWaiter!!
"zzu ver zuposed ddu ghett zee Krikkett!!"
-----------

theSam!!
"Miss, I was... my New York steak cost $18.95,
theCoke cost $4.95
and theBlueBerryCrisp alaMode!! cost $6.95
so why is the total Bill over $45!?

theSeverGurl!!
*points at plain looking serverGirl walking by*
"See her?!"

theSam!!
uh huh...

tSG; "and her?!"
tS; "yeppers!!"

theServerGurl
*pointing to herself*
"Hot!!"

*points to other girls*
"Not"

*holds out her hand*
"$55!! Now!!"
----------------

Location: Midtown
Time: 1150hrs

theSam!!
*walks up to Pizza theHut!! doors and goes inside*

Pizza theHut!! Management, Charhmmitt Pinderr
" Umm verrry surry sir, Yoo kennott come inn!!"

theSam!!
"what!?, and why not!!"

PtH Mgr, CP!!
"Itt uhpperz dhat yoov uhlredy Let yor self Go!!"
------------------------

DriveThru!! voice
"Hi welcome to Burger.....
oh Hi Sam!!

th…

Yahoo News, Battle over memorializing Sitting Bull

Battle over memorializing Sitting Bull
By ERIN McCLAM, AP National Writer Sat Jun 16, 12:33 PM ET
STANDING ROCK INDIAN RESERVATION, S.D. - You have to travel back in time to get from the nearest town to the chipped and wind-whipped little stone face that peers out over the Missouri River and the endless plains beyond.

ADVERTISEMENT

The drive from Mobridge across the river takes you from the Central Time Zone into the Mountain, and if you turn off the main road and clatter four miles down a winding path, you find it — a modest monument on a lush green bluff.

This simplicity is striking because of what lies beneath: The remains of Sitting Bull, the Sioux chief said to have foretold the defeat of Lt. Col. George Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn in 1876.

But it is more striking because of the state of extreme disrepair that befell the resting place of one of the best-known American Indians in history for half a century, until just two years ago.
It was shot and spat at, and worse. On the s…

Server Error Message from theAlaskanPrincess!!

Server Message from theAlaskanPrincess!!

Sorry for the inconvenience!!
(well, not Really, but I’m just saying!!)

You've stumbled upon a temporary problem we're having with tAP!! E-mail.

Usually this problem gets resolved quickly via a few quick slaps from thePrincess!! herself to theServer with a LargeFrozenTrout or else with an Leather riding Quirt,

In fact, theProblem is probably resolved already without you doing a thing, just like all her lil‘ PrincessEmployees!! They hardly do anything and yet.....things get done around here anyways.

In fact, it may be taken care of right now!!
-Try pressing theReload (theTiny Handgun Clip) icon
or theRefresh (theTinyMakeUp Compact!!) button on your tAP!! browser,

Or maybe on your SystemKeyboard hit the OhShit!! or the red colored Panic!! button too,
In fact, start reloading your handgun and perhaps theSystemTower will get theMessage and Reboot!!

Or try Logging out of theAlaskanPrincess!! pornPortals
(shut down all 40+ Windows you opened up)
and then …

Life with UncleTeddy!!

Saturday, 16 June 2007

Life at Uncle Ted's International Airport!!

All in theFamily was never like this....
d:o(

After about a year of doing Security here in theCity!! I've been hired to do something else with my time & talents.

Most recently I leave my duty station at theAirport. It's been a great 6 long months out there but it's time to move on.

Just be aware of your talents and interests and do in life what furthers those talents & interests. You'll be much happier if you do those things.

Life isn't only about landing a cush job and saving $ to get rich, having all kinds of benefits and perks either.

Sure, God wants you & me, to be successful in life, but we also need to NOT forget other people.

Bottom line, is that Service to others is what helps us theMost, what lifts us, what helps us grow & also to GrowUp!!,

theSam!! will speak now a little of what has been seen while guarding theTraveling public.

And though theSam!! can often be found speaking theS…