AlaskaVillageTales

As posted to RecoveryFromMormonism forums.
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Subject: Leaving myself behind.
Date: Jul 26 04:29
Author: theSam!!

hi everyone,
tis I theSam!! from the land of alaska,

if you've lost your grandparents suddenly, don't worry,
they're up HERE a spell visiting me!! d:oP

Today (friday) I took some time off for me,
it was my 3rd standbyVisit to theNative Hospital for Dental clinic but this time,

I did it for me and not because I was busy and working on the Other Standby visit days,

I also took my acoustic guitar with me and sat in theFoodCourt-courtYard and fretted around a bit after having some teeth pulled,

I ate soft foods, took my pain meds and locked into a few chord progressions and hummed aloud and earned a few compliments from workers and patients alike,

then later this eve, I finished theNight by washing my clothes for the upcoming week,

it's great to live life without the Nuisance that became life in Mormondumb,
No worries about other Morgbot men c…

here are theLatest "Up"dates from theSam!!
whom still has that old Swagger in his step,

it's just that he now has that "Swig" in his Lips which now produces a "Stagger!!"

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AlaskaVillageTales!!

theSam!!News:
everything is coming his way.... and he's in the wrong lane,
while waiting curbside for theBus!!

theSam!!News:
his ignorance is bliss.... and tourists are in a constant state of Lost,
cos half the time he doesn’t know how to answer their questions!!

theSam!!News:
A villageFanatic!! is one who won’t change his Wine and won't change his / her clothes!!

theSam!!News:
villageWork!? is for people who don't know how to fish.

which basically explains theVPSO position....and Sam!!

theSam!!News:
village!!Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way....and of letting Sam!! think things are actually going HIS way

theSam!!News:
AlaskaVillageTales!! is supposed to be on vacation for the summer - blog updates are incoheren…

I subscribe to a few "OfficerDown" website links and have joined an LEO forum or two on theNet.

It saddens me daily to see that somewhere in my great country an Officer has fallen in theLineOfDuty,

But it gladdens my heart too knowing that there are Others out there like me, a member of this small closeKnit group of LEO's / LawEnforcementOfficers that bands together in our moments "BEFORE" any loss,

and gathers together in moments and ever after one of us is gone.
This club sounds exclusive, and for the most part It is, but what I think is the best thing about this Calling, if I may label it so,

is that this Profession chooses YOU, it's not theOther way around.

So, my dear Readers. Honor your local LEO's and even your Military for they both keep you safe from harm day and night.

And amongst this group also include those other EMS / emergency medical services, theFirstResponders too,

and don't forget those already forgotten: theSecurityOfficers and "Gua…

theAthabaskanAlaskanPrincessLodge!!
theEmployees haveEscaped, completely!!

----

I'm theSam!! and theHeavyHoobered!! AthabascanPrincessAlaskan caught up to me at work the other day and handed me this short Note to Post for you!!

She told me that if I didn't Post this for you,
She'd playfully slap my Ass and then make me Accuse her falsely of SexualHarassment or something like that, d:oP
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theAlaskanPrincess!!
theWho, What, Where?! and When!! of AlaskanTerrorism!! uhr..
I meant... "Tourism!!",

but sadly, Not theWhy!?

we leave theScreaming and pleading of "Why?!, why me now!? WhY?!, WHY?!"
to our female Emps when their Normal everyday lives are Interupted via a company
Letter stating,

"congratulations!! You've just Won a Trip to Alaska!!
Please report to UncleTedStevensIntl Airport on (date & time) and a LuxeryCoach will whisk you and the"ChosenFew' away to a WildernessCastle!!

We anticipate your stay to be from 5 to 6 months but some Employe... e…

Village Workouts for theContemporaryVillager!!

-theSam!!
trained as a Spoof!! in theVillage!! years ago,
yet threw OUT the training manuals and just winging it!!

-theSam!!
so totally in theBag!!
theGoldSpray paint forms a ring around his Neck!!

*Huuufffsss and Huffss!!*

-theSam!!
giving you yet another Reason to double check your Kid’z homework for korrict spellan and Gramar,
to recheck for Thot clearity and idea consisenass and above all else - Coherency!!

-theSam!!
for whom the rock song,“Alcohol & Ass!!” was written,
cos when he drinks, he just sits on his!!

mehh... and occasionally he becomes one.

-theSam!!
Building villageVoices!! just about anywhere an Arrest happenz!!

theVillageSam!!’s Incomplete Guide to Getting Ready to Sing!!
(as inspired by his Vocal books, Instructional CD’s and theTBN music channel that he watches nightly on tv!!)

VocalWarmUps!!
Think of your voice, as theCoddledCorporateNative-child of theVillage!!

after all, it’s what you really think, it’s how you were brought up any…

theSam!!'s Cholestrol Count approaches 300!!
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theSam!!
Still 4 after all these years!!

theSam!!
still 40 after ALL this last year!!

theSam!!
whom will be turning 14 next month!!

Just think,
back in 1997 I was 3!!

theSam!!
wishing his waistLine was 41.... -sad- d:o(

theSam!!
normally valued at $42K out in theVillage!!
now marked down to just $400 a month in theCity!!

Read his next BlogInstallment and theSam!! will take off an additional
$14.35/hr for every hour of Unpaid OverTime!!

You just have to feed him though.

theSam!!
not only MrWonderful,

but MrEmployeeFileFull!! (of complaints, writeUps, and interOfficeMemos)

theSam!!
ProcessorMalfunction apparently not only applys to his HomeComputer.

theSam!!
hours of entertainment packed into just minutes of InterAction with him!!

maybe even seconds too in Passing,
Even if you perfunctoryGlance in his direction in Public!!

theSam!!
not only a paid advertisement for GlibCommentary!!
he’s a VolunteerSpokesman that Blogs!!

theSam!!
now here’s the5 day extende…