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Showing posts from March, 2008

theSam!!'s Mother Speaks!! (again....)

theSam!!'s Mother(s) In Law Speaks!! (again...)

SPEAK!!

>:o( <<-----< "Mama!!"

d:oO !! <<-----< ...me

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More VPSO / VPO Probation / Parole Interview Questions?!

1. Are YOU working?!

If so, Where!?
Wait. Who are we kidding?!

You have an ETB card that keeps getting replenished every 6 months, of course not.
And my daughter might pick you up now and then after work and take you to your place Or, she might take YOU home.

btw, How come you're NOT sharing that awesome restaurant food with Us!?
shheeeesh!!

I thought Natives were so "giving", "sharing", "Loving!!"

...What?!

Oh...
you deposit your seed into my dau...Ok. Ok..
That's not what I meant by giving, sharing and loving!!

*sobs.... NeverMind...*

We bought them out long ago for this Country with Beads and they turn right back around and put them back inside our daugh.....

2. Where are YOU Living and with WHOM?! !!
umm.
Yes I did get your 6months (at a time) Resume &am…

UncleSam!! and his Cat "Scratch!!"

AlaskaVillageTales!! / AVT!!
this Blog was brought to you upon recycled paper,

then after theSam!! finished transcribing his notes from soiled Pizza stained napkin,

from well used Latte paper HeatSleeve!!, and from phoneTexts of Actual
FiendsOfSam!!

THIS next installment of AVT was brought to you!!
-----------------------------------------------

theVillageChixxx!!
sometimes, Bigger is better!! d:o)

But then again, pound for pound, it's always theCute!!, really tiny ones that
succeed in running Sam!! off and away from the house parties!!

AVT!!
NewDesign!!

same old silly Words from theSam!!

theSam!!
publicSafety First!!

or at least....MINE before yours,

theSam!!
specialTreats!!

those lil' extras that make life in uniform worthwhile.

Like, PopTarts in the front INSIDE panel of theBulletVest!!
and BoxedMilk too!!

This VPSO model, comes with vanity mirror for theLadies!!
For middle of Night makeup & contactLens fixUps-Right after theSam!! contacts you for drinking and you attempt to stall and reDire…

I C I C!!

Do you SEE too!?

d:oP
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Well.
Time moves on and so does theSam!!

After searching high and low for work within theFood & Beverage Industry theSam!! was taken in by an Village!! entity and will be a slave to theGrind!! once again.

as well it should be!!

Just yesterday, one of our Bar Vendors stopped in to remind us of theTastingEvent to be held later on at 3pm,

but, by then, Word had gotten around from theVendors to theManagers to us Employees that this particular WineTastingEvent was strictly for Managers only,

and that was a disappointment to me in the sense that I looked forward all month to be able to go and taste wines and further my explorations from theVine!!

I admit that though I left organized religion behind I still find myself labeling people, situations and circumstance for what it is.

And this exclusion of me doesn't sit well at all.
But I'm grown up enough to see things for what they are and if it's a problem to many people then I'll say and do someth…

Ask Me Three!!

-theVillage!!
Lose Weight Now!!, ask me How!!

as everyone knows we gain from 110lbs on up to 250lbs at any given time and spend Days to Years trying to shed theVPSO weight!!

but we always succeed,

what's a few fattyCells when it means we get to stay OUT of theVillageHoldingCell!?

-theVillage!!
one Hand in theVPSO's pocket and one arm around theKidz!!

-theVillage!!
Welcome to theReal(ly Hazy, warm & Fuzzy) World!!

-theVillage!!
has worked with great officers like......

well... That one state troop......

and that other RideAlong of his... mr Sa.... mr S A.....

hmmmpphh!!
Guess we haven't worked with greatness yet!!

-theVillage!!
having already traveled down theRoad,

we send our cousins "back" to thePlace where we pitched theBooze!!
into theTrees!!

-theVillage!!
Listen, to theChaos!!

Watch, theMadness!!

Live, way better than us!!

-theVillage!!
citing theSam!! as a major reason "of our Indifference",

he cared so much, we thought, what theHey!!, go theOther Way.

-theVillage!!
not…

Alaska's Most!!

Alaska's Most....
Dazed & Confused Villager!!, theSam!!
and still unEmployed!!

Alaska's Most....
Oblivious Inebriate!!, theSam!!
his behaviour might be out of Touch sometimes, just don't touch his Liver on weekends!!

Alaska's Most....
Classified Help Wanted!!, theSam!!
is he looking for palatialDigs!? or Speakerz & PA Rigs!?
he saw you in a store last week?! Apply his resume now, file 13!!

Alaska's Most....
Man AboutTown!!, theSam!!
if only Walking or Busing to theNextJobInterview!! d:oD

Alaska's Most....
Shined Down Officer!!, theSam!!
that's cos he refuses to polish his Boots every day,
cos he doesn't mind getting his uniform dirty while in Village!! service.

Alaska's Most....
Best Kept VillageSecret!!, theSam!!
if only we could have kept him "there" in the first place,
but then again, "they" didn't want him there and so,
sent him here to theCity!!

Alaska's Most....
Banned man!!, theSam!!
though lately, he just rolls it on to keep per…

Death of a Salesman!!

Death of a Salesman!!
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So.... I see you're,

You're applying for High-End Car Salesman is it?!

and your name...
it's... yor Name; theSam!!, is that it?!

oh... You want me to emphasis it like I'm making a shouting statement!?
ummm.

maybe later after I chase you off my Lot.....

Whad I say?!,, ernh, It was nothing...
nothing Sam!!

and... your "Foot Steps:"

-High School graduate,
Yes, I would.....
would hope so.. *ahem*.

Middle, Jr & Sr yrs after school work program as: Stockyard, BenFranklin Retail sales & Stockroom, usedCar Lot porter.

Uh huh..
I see that as StockYard Hand you ran up and down thePen Lanes and livestock were driven off theWeightscales and into various pens to be held until their owners finished auction buying and the cattle were loaded up.

uh.. Sam,,, Sam!!
Is this where you learned to explain theBenefits, Features and Functions of a particular product?!

Yes..

I can see where sending a load of Goats and horses bound for Impound and theD…