Showing posts from 2008

Lost In Transit

As submitted to RECOVERY FROM MORMONISM forum boards under theName of "theSam!!"

Subject: Lost In Transit....
Date: Dec 29 03:43
Author: theSam!!

-Sleep was fitful that night, I'd wake up expecting to hear Mom yelling at Daddy again and storming off into theNight but I never did.

All I heard was the soft sighs of lil'Sister in the bed next to mine and the quick breaths of my infant brother in his crib,

Daddy had taken us Lamanites off theRez (the Indian Reservation), but he couldn't take theRezLife out of Mom,

she'd go a few months sober and clean and then, would go out drinking for a few days and would leave us kids with Daddy,

Now adays WIC, OCS and a host of other "childrensServices" advocates flanked by Police officers would noKnock a house or an apt if they even suspected childNeglect/Abuse/or otherEndangerment, if they even got an anonymous tip!!,

but back then, you could live next door to an Officer and wouldn't know it no matter who …

villageSpace!! dot com

Feenixx CARRS Nebe Lander Makes 'Footprint' With Robotic-like Arm
By Spaced!!.dotcom Staff,
otherwise known as those silly, silly people at AlaskaVillageTales!!

Pee In It!!’s Robotic-like Arm Makes 'Footprint',
then an Ass-print.

(However thePoliceReport version of this story says theArresting Officer's Boot makes a FootPrint in theAss of theNebe Lander!

19 December 2008 0125 a.m. AlaskaDayTime

NOSA’s (Natives Ostensibly Staggering About!!) Pheenix Marrs Hander reached out and touched the CARRS SAFEWAY parking lot surface for the first time!! (since it’s release from Jail) with theDigit scoop at the end of his robotic-like arm on Friday, leaving a "footprint" in the new fallen snow.

This "soil touch," as Rescue!!mission Beer scientists call it, is the first stagger toward begging for food and money handOuts with the robotic-like arm.

"Thisshh phhirrst *hiccup!!* touchh, t-t-tushhh allowsshh ushhh *hic* to yoo…

Green Aprons!!, He is There

GreenApron's thePlaceToBe!!,
(Inspired by the old time Sitcom, GreenAcres!!)

GreenApron’s thePlace to be, Knotted tightly so I can’t breathe.....*Gasp!!-gasp*
Sammy I love you now place these flyers up & down theAve!!



GreenAprons we Are There!!....
well. Sam is d:o(

The Twelve Days of Barista!! / 12 Days of Christmas
w/ Appropriate Corporate / DailyLife of a Barista symbolism!! from theSam!! d:o(

On the First day of Brewing my LC (LearningCoach) Gave to me!!
a Paycheck for a Penny!!

On the Second day of Brewing my LC Gave to me!!
Two piercedLobes and a paycheck for a penny!!

On the3rd Day of Working my StoreManagers Gave to me!!
3 Glad Hands!!, Two ParkingLot sweeps and a Paycheck for a Penny!!

On the4th Day of Working my Partner!! (Starbucks term for CoWorker) Gave to Me!!
4 TRO’s, ( temp Restraining Orders!!, just check “HER” name on AK court view!! d:oP, and get this, It’s NOT my child!!)
3 backHands!! d:oD,
Two punched guts and TrampStampView…

Are You In theHoliday Spirit Yet!?

More of BaristaSam!!'s How To Tell.....

Are you in theHolidaySpirit yet?!

-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
you quit turning your greenApron inside out and upside down and backwards
to hide the milk stains cos she never complains about it NOT being Clean anymore.

-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
your Kiosk runs out of Vanilla and WholeCoffeeBeans, she sneaks off to the CoffeeAisle in theSupermarket and returns with name brand Vanilla flavored syrup and fresh ground coffee beans!!

cos normally she’d just call theOtherCoffeeStores and get supplies delivered next day.

-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t care anymore when.....
she’s filling out Job apps to other places and for OTHER vocations right in front of you and theCustomers!!

in fact, “you’re” tapping her shoulder now, instead of the other way around while you’re washing dishes or cleaning, telling her a customer is right in front of her!!

-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t c…

When Barista's Go Bad!!

-When Barista's Go Bad!!
they get even worse than their old coffee, which, they sneak cups of when theStoreMgr's not looking!!

they do it to just keep theNewFound bitterness going!!
Either that or they're just trying to pick themselves up after a 2 day 151 Rum & Coke bender all alone in their Apt with their Guitars, theRadio and theInet!!

wait. I'm behind on my Inet bill, but I'm juss sayin'!!

-When Barista's Go Bad!!
they get even more friendly and homey than theMotelSixx folks,
cos, not only do these BadBarista's "Leave theLight on"

they pretty much leave everything "AS IS" up unto the last minute of their work shift, and then THEY LEAVE!!


at least it's a good thing that I still pick up after my StoreSup, theShiftMgr and my Jr Partners!!

We all learned our lessons though, in dealing with each other.
It was hilarious to slowly follow along a very rushed Partner, whom was wanting to clock out quickly and go out drinking, an…


when I first got to theVillage!!

it sat there in theMainLodge!! for a few weeks as bitter cold February wind whipped outside and demoralized everything in it's cold clutches, icy grip.

But it sat safe and sound under theTV set that showed theARK channel,
fuzzy, wavy, Grainy tv channel at 1940's finest during year 2001!!

It was thePiano that no one knew of, that no one knew how to play and that no one cared to get to know, much like their VillagePublicSafetyOfficer it seemed,

it took up space (in theLodge's front room)
where everyone sat and stared mindlessly at the box IT held up, atlas-like with, theWorld literally upon it's mahogany shoulders!!

But I knew.
Because I had been trained in theBasics of finding theKeys and finding theGroups of keys and chords that sounded best that brought out theBEST sound from it's maple and ash framework, from it's Cedar planks, from thePlastic / sans Ivory!! keys and it was the Spirit of it's innerBeauty that really mattered most …

a Pile of Shoes

it's currently 0400hrs, AKDT, I tossed and turned for a while in fitful sleep, then sat up, scooted over on my bed to within reach of my pianoKeyboard, turned it on and attached my Headphones (so I won't disturb any of my roomies in theOther AP rooms) and did some basic scales, now I feel much better that I've done that.

It was my first winter with my churchFoster family, those mormons that took me in for one school year to help me transition into a life full of better education & better Life opportunities as well, my homesickness was past yet most nights I fell asleep in tears missing Mama and lil' Sister Jess & lil' brother Allen (Charles, now deceased of Cancer)

I was born Lakota, had been infused?! (for lack of a better word right now at 4a.m.) had been given theDNA of my ancestors, passed down to me from my mother, those precious markers and traits that only theWomen can carry and pass down to their offspring,

I was taught Lakota, had been given the basic…

Monitoring Alaska's most Dazed-n-Confuzed DrugDealer!!

whos GreenApron!! is "sizing treated" making it MilkProof!!, FrappacinoProof!!, MochaProof!! and even waterProof!!

but apparently NOT criticismProof!! d:o/ -wtf!!-

for whom it can be said,
that trentReznor's NIN song, "everyDay IS exactly theSame!!" sounds exactly like a work week in Kiosk!!

in fact, theEyes ARE watching!!

*points to securityCam!! up above register*

whom has endured brutal Alaska winters, and even braved wearing ScubaBooties!! in subZero temps for a few years when he was VillageLawman,

(don't worry, there was always a nice warm fully fueled patrol vehicle close by!!, I'm just sayin')

and can go pretty much ALL winter without wearing a knitCap, but trying to get him into Produce Reefer every night to unpack Pastries for theNext day is like pulling teeth!!

who's Eyes!! were just a bit l-o-w and Front and Center!! one day when asking MsCleavage!! ( . )Y( . )

"what can I POUR for you today!?"

Kiosk Notes

Carrs Safeway, Anchorage, Alaska

Carrs Safeway Starbucks Barista

Starbucks Barista


hello everyone!!
theSam!! is happy that it's snowing once again here in theCity!!,
theBarista work is slowing down a bit, at least for me,

it seems now, after almost 2 months of Barista work, that when I get comfortable with my schedule moving up from 20-something hours a week, to almost 40hrs a week,

that something negative happens and I find myself being moved back to a part time schedule. And it all has to do with some problems that I seem to be having with Customer Service, as it all relates to representing Starbucks and theCarrs Safeway stores.

When I had someone call me on the phone in Sep, and sent me to an Group interview for Carrs Safeway, I had no idea that later on in this new line of work, Barista!!, that problems would pop up, I was only glad to be back to working and still staying within theFood & Beverage Industry that I have come to love.

when my "class" started at…

Gosh!!pull Hims with AcousticSam!! *hiccup!!*

1.A Home In Heaven
where Sam!! can't barge in at 3a.m.!!,

maybe 5 or 6, but not 3, or even 2,
heck!! Not even just after Midnight, just not after 3.

Maybe 5 or 6, but I've said this before right?!,
this is what happens when that idiot in uniform Tases YOU too many times....

2.Are You Walkin' And A-Talkin' For The Lord
We here in theVillage!! change theLyrics too,
"are you walkin' and talkin' WITHOUT theFORD!?"

cos, after we got Sam!! theCrownVictoria, then we started flattening theTires,
then someone STOLE theCV,


after that, Sam!! trudged up and down theVillage!! streets on patrol.

3.Church In The Wildwood
enjoying theSpirit!! together on Sunday,

so that later on during theWeek!!, we can all singly or collectively "Lurch",
stagger and stumble in theWild woods around theVillage!!


4.Crying In The Chapel
that my bottle's been confiscated by Sam!! again,

someone Fire!! that VPSO.

5.Family Bible
otherwise known as a "coloringBook",

but for more…

You Betcha!!


You Betcha!!

whom can’t believe it’s notSam!!

whom got On theBus!! and left theDriving to Gus!!

it was theHotBlondeChick driving tonights route...... Stan!!

whom got off theBus...

whom staggered OFF the...


Whom FellOFF theBus!! at his stop.


who’s so literal sometimes,

when looking at his cellPhone day date display saw that it was “12-11”
and thought he had missed his mothers birthday,

so he called and left a message Wishing her a HappyBirthday,
Upon sobering up theNext day,

saw that his cellPhone day date display read “13-11-2008”

oh well.
At least Son E. Boy!! remembered his Mothers B-Day THIS year.

not only wishing on a star,
but actually seeing one high up on theMtn above Anchorage!!

cos HillTop ski resort will open up this weekend!!

becoming more like an AlaskanBroad each day...

uh.. each years!!

First, his incessant eating of PopTarts and drinking of Pop got him theManBoobs!!
in theVillage!!

Later on in …