theSam!! on TWITTER

1. You might be an MRAP if!! Your civilianEyeglasses, your issued EyePro and your contact lenses are THICKER than the bullet proof windows!! 
2.   
   You might be an MRAP!! if, your battleBuddies ground guide you through ChowHall, theMainGym and Battalion!!
3.   
   You might be an MRAP (mineResistantAmbushProtectedvehicle) if you carry more shtuff in your pockets than theEntireConvoy!!
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   tehSam!!, his Table Of Contents needs more than 4 legs to hold theShtuff in his pockets!!
5.   
   I miss my lil' "Huricane", a kitten of 20 yrs ago, LiveFast-DieYoung was her legacy. I'm renaming my M-4 rifle after her. *sad* 
6.   
   theSam!!, still tehBlackEye!! of 3rd Division!!, and now the shaveCut lip and two sprained ankles!! =:o) 
7.   
   "If Found, please feed and return to B Co 1-30th Inf Bn, CP Marne, FOB Warrior, Kirkuk, Iraq, Better yet, just send it to MotorPool!! 
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   chewing, digesting upon "Project Falafel!!", Taking poor lil' oven breads, dress them up in meats, cheese and giving them good home in tummy 
9.   
   army short hair!? never!!, Hair today... LONGER tomorrow!!, at least till 1st Sergeant marches him over to barberShop again. *bummed* 
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    safe in his comfort zone!! Showering each day not to be clean, but to "nip" from his afterShave bottle now and then!! =:oP
11.   
    tehAlaska!! and theMerican flags now hang on the wall!! Usually it's "him!!" on display outside his TeamLeader's chu door as a warning!! 
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    his label says: this product does not meet manufacturing and testing standards but use him anyway!! and why not?! a few dozen girlfriends do
13.   
    into each life some rain must fall!! But not mine cos I'm safe inside my CHU!! (containerized housing unit)
14.   
    after changing into clean ACU's, his name was "US ARMY" and was a member of the "FLYINGHORSE", that's ok, his teamleader had no eyePro on!! 
15.   
    tehSam!! he's like theCottonGloves soaked in gasoline amidst a bunch of fireRetardant fire proof gloves!! up in smoke is where he gonna be!! 
16.   
    stars and stripes forever, those on my flag I mean. God bless the USA!! 
17.   
    a CHU (containerized housing unit), a microwave, a rifle, care boxes under my bed... and theEnemy outside the gates of theBase!! life's good 
18.   
    what's happening?.... not a damn thing!! 
19.   
    -tehSam!! from Waffle (usa) to Falafel!! (iraq), but actually he still kinda waffles around when ordered certain tasks or extra PT!! =:o( 
20.   
    hot and muggy today in kirkuk, Iraq. How muggy?, I got robbed!!, get this, my battlebuddy was the only one w/me!! =:oP 

1. hisCivilian life was work n being facedown drunk... has Army life lifted him?, nah, he's now face down Pushups!! *bummed* 
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   satellite tv has MANswers, tehSam!!'s got SAM!!swers.... if he could just remember the questions....
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   he's got UncleSam!! fooled, cos if they paid him in Monster energy drinks and chowhall ice cream he'd be happy.
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   if theEnemy hid FOOD with their buried explosives, tehSam!! could detect IED's at 1000meters!! 
5.   
   There was A man of ThousandFaces, A man of ThousandDeath strikes, then pt Sam!! has a thousand excuses to not exercise!! 
6.   
   peace of mind shouldn't cost a lot, till then, I'll have a free Piece Of Pie from chowhall please!! 
7.   
   the only Operation tehSam!! can't be part of... is Operation Be Fit!!,
8.   
   tehSam!! is proud to be Infantry, yet he still goes 5, 10, even 50meters around the Mud to cross street on his way to chow, *sigh*
9.   
   Keep your kevlar Sam!! though it's not as hard as your head.
10.   
    my space, facebook, twitter, and since we're eatin' and ingesting "stuff" to keep awake on 24hr checkpoint, Now "tweeker"!! =:oP 
11.   
    coming to an Army base neat y.... Oh, Sam!!'s already here.
12.   
    bland Chowhall food?, hit up BurgerKing instead!!
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    good morning from Iraq!!, lovs, theSoldierSam!!