ArmyEducatedSam!!
Distance Education!!
Check out tehUndergraduate courses that theNevehGraduated!! is currently taking while on deployment.
-Acct101!! Principles of Accounten!!
When 1stSergeant gives thePlatoon 5 seconds to break formation and get out of his sight, How many pushups does theLakotaSoldier do?!
(hint-hint, it's as many fingers as ya' got cos thePTFail still is!!)
-Acct301!! IntermediateAccounting!!
*preReq to BusLaw and as it pertains to ForeignRelations and those stacks of funny money you'll confiscate at various roadside checkPoints while deployed*
Useful for when theTerp!! (your Platoons Interpreter) goes round robin round thePlatoon 3x asking for falafel money and you're absolutely positive that by 2nd request from him,
you gave him over $50 but when he counts back change after everyone changed their minds, theTerp!! only hands back $10 in iraqiDinar!!..... At least you're rolling in truckloads of money, FUNNY money, but falafel-less
and get this. Everyone around you in Platoon is eating Falafel and Chicken & Bread plates!!
-Arch101!! Introduction to Archeology!!
You'll start your searching for gold, hidden treasures, lost civilizations and to bury that mosquito you just killed out in the back yard behind the castleCheckPoint.
-Arab101 !!erutluC & efiL cibarA
If you've accidently done things backAsswards start being INTENTIONAL now cos, life on deployment outside theWire (and beyond theScentedSafety of that HHUUGGEE shapely Blonde SecurityForces girl manning the frontFOB gates) will be just assBackward.
-ArtLT101!! Art of theWesternSoldier!!
This self-guided (and hopefully selfInitiated) tour will not only take you through the various artMedia styles popular today in Latrines army-wide but you'll also go on a self-guided tour through stages of Grief, Anger, and coping with Depression all in one fellDeployment!!
*preReq toCreative Bathroom Poetry, Memory & Cognition and if you get caught writing on latrineWalls..... Intro to Basic Woodworking, Painting and Landscaping*
-ArtP100!! Basics of Photography!!
Put your coolPix and iShutter upskirt photo skills to great use (even if those females wear pesky pants) as your hapless film subjects say "cheese" throughout deployment!!
You can even upload your work on FB and MS where your Online DistanceEd Instructors will critique and highlight each film and picture you shared, making careful notes of What Gate you left FOB from, How many vehicles are in your next Convoy!!, Just exactly how thick those concrete castleWalls really are and if there's sandberms between the road and the front door!!
-Astro100!! Introduction to Astronomy!!
Stand in formation with one of Alaska'sFinest!! (ok ok, at least he keeps telling us he WAS for 3 years) on a starry evening or night and utter quietly to each other or yourselves "I am theHunter!!", "I have Crabs!!", "Cassie come home to me!!" and "My very educated mother served us nine pizzas" and other kooky phrases to help you remember the stars above.
-BeHs201!! Introduction to Behavioral Health Sciences!!
In this hands on module of education you'll first get Rank, privileges and a squad of Privates for your very own to monitor, then we'll throw in a couple of hormonal & mentruating females to accompany you guys on checkPoint duty for 48hrs at a time.
Or you can skip all thePAIN listed above and we'll let you watch porn on our buddies computers, make you buy a FleshLIGHT and you can read LordOftheFlies if you wish,
actually the 2nd option is less damaging to your self esteem. I mean, face it, would you rather buy Lingerie magz, Tatted Ink and Hooters pubs, post them to the wall and sip lattes staring at the pictures all afternoon like one Private does?!
-Biol101!! Concepts of Biology!!
Believe it or not you already understand theConcepts real well. Cos face it, in life "shatHappens", or you end up eating it or you tell Others, like stupid Officers and srEnlisted to eat it. Heck, you even tell your friends to go Phuck themselves!!
This one class is easy, more so than the rest of what we have to offer you online. In fact it goes Hand in Hand, Hand to Mouth, Foot to Puss, Ash to Mouth, even girl onGirl and Donkey intoGirls!! Just go shower really late at night by yourself, go pee out by theLine and hook up with that msPrivate or even msCapt, biology happens man!!
-Biol201!! Concept of Evolution!!
In the early days of manKind, he stooped over dragged his knuckles and just sat there before he learned to stand up, think with his brain and operate thePlasma cannons & pick up stuff using "A" buttons and the Left toggle playing X-box.
Sadly, in uniform things kinda go the other way cos humanity deEvolves backward from freshFaced multi-functioning PushUp active private on up to office dwelling coffee sipping monoSyllabic officer cretin!!
-BusM400!! Management & Organizational Theor.... uhh, Shit!!
We'll skip Introduction to Business & Managem...uhh, Shit!! since you've all been to Bootcamp and seen firsthand what kinda shit happens in the first place out there.
But wait, there's more!!
-Eng100!! Fundamentals of Writing and Literature!!
We'll point you to "AlaskaVillageTales" on tehWeb and see if you'll get back with us or if you just end up Unfriending theSam!! on MySpace & FaceBook instead.
-Eng300!! Critical Approaches to Literature!!
1stSgts, 1stLt's and TeamLeaderSgts lead this class. "godDamnit Private, what the hell you readin' now?! I sent you on garbage detail hours ago!!
-Msc50001!! Impact of Music on Life.....Yours!!
And your iPod better hold at least 5000 porno movies in order to ride theTeamLeaders MRAP on patrol private or your life will be suckin"!!
-Psyc............ Egh, I think you get the picture.
---------------
lovs, theSam!!
Check out tehUndergraduate courses that theNevehGraduated!! is currently taking while on deployment.
-Acct101!! Principles of Accounten!!
When 1stSergeant gives thePlatoon 5 seconds to break formation and get out of his sight, How many pushups does theLakotaSoldier do?!
(hint-hint, it's as many fingers as ya' got cos thePTFail still is!!)
-Acct301!! IntermediateAccounting!!
*preReq to BusLaw and as it pertains to ForeignRelations and those stacks of funny money you'll confiscate at various roadside checkPoints while deployed*
Useful for when theTerp!! (your Platoons Interpreter) goes round robin round thePlatoon 3x asking for falafel money and you're absolutely positive that by 2nd request from him,
you gave him over $50 but when he counts back change after everyone changed their minds, theTerp!! only hands back $10 in iraqiDinar!!..... At least you're rolling in truckloads of money, FUNNY money, but falafel-less
and get this. Everyone around you in Platoon is eating Falafel and Chicken & Bread plates!!
-Arch101!! Introduction to Archeology!!
You'll start your searching for gold, hidden treasures, lost civilizations and to bury that mosquito you just killed out in the back yard behind the castleCheckPoint.
-Arab101 !!erutluC & efiL cibarA
If you've accidently done things backAsswards start being INTENTIONAL now cos, life on deployment outside theWire (and beyond theScentedSafety of that HHUUGGEE shapely Blonde SecurityForces girl manning the frontFOB gates) will be just assBackward.
-ArtLT101!! Art of theWesternSoldier!!
This self-guided (and hopefully selfInitiated) tour will not only take you through the various artMedia styles popular today in Latrines army-wide but you'll also go on a self-guided tour through stages of Grief, Anger, and coping with Depression all in one fellDeployment!!
*preReq toCreative Bathroom Poetry, Memory & Cognition and if you get caught writing on latrineWalls..... Intro to Basic Woodworking, Painting and Landscaping*
-ArtP100!! Basics of Photography!!
Put your coolPix and iShutter upskirt photo skills to great use (even if those females wear pesky pants) as your hapless film subjects say "cheese" throughout deployment!!
You can even upload your work on FB and MS where your Online DistanceEd Instructors will critique and highlight each film and picture you shared, making careful notes of What Gate you left FOB from, How many vehicles are in your next Convoy!!, Just exactly how thick those concrete castleWalls really are and if there's sandberms between the road and the front door!!
-Astro100!! Introduction to Astronomy!!
Stand in formation with one of Alaska'sFinest!! (ok ok, at least he keeps telling us he WAS for 3 years) on a starry evening or night and utter quietly to each other or yourselves "I am theHunter!!", "I have Crabs!!", "Cassie come home to me!!" and "My very educated mother served us nine pizzas" and other kooky phrases to help you remember the stars above.
-BeHs201!! Introduction to Behavioral Health Sciences!!
In this hands on module of education you'll first get Rank, privileges and a squad of Privates for your very own to monitor, then we'll throw in a couple of hormonal & mentruating females to accompany you guys on checkPoint duty for 48hrs at a time.
Or you can skip all thePAIN listed above and we'll let you watch porn on our buddies computers, make you buy a FleshLIGHT and you can read LordOftheFlies if you wish,
actually the 2nd option is less damaging to your self esteem. I mean, face it, would you rather buy Lingerie magz, Tatted Ink and Hooters pubs, post them to the wall and sip lattes staring at the pictures all afternoon like one Private does?!
-Biol101!! Concepts of Biology!!
Believe it or not you already understand theConcepts real well. Cos face it, in life "shatHappens", or you end up eating it or you tell Others, like stupid Officers and srEnlisted to eat it. Heck, you even tell your friends to go Phuck themselves!!
This one class is easy, more so than the rest of what we have to offer you online. In fact it goes Hand in Hand, Hand to Mouth, Foot to Puss, Ash to Mouth, even girl onGirl and Donkey intoGirls!! Just go shower really late at night by yourself, go pee out by theLine and hook up with that msPrivate or even msCapt, biology happens man!!
-Biol201!! Concept of Evolution!!
In the early days of manKind, he stooped over dragged his knuckles and just sat there before he learned to stand up, think with his brain and operate thePlasma cannons & pick up stuff using "A" buttons and the Left toggle playing X-box.
Sadly, in uniform things kinda go the other way cos humanity deEvolves backward from freshFaced multi-functioning PushUp active private on up to office dwelling coffee sipping monoSyllabic officer cretin!!
-BusM400!! Management & Organizational Theor.... uhh, Shit!!
We'll skip Introduction to Business & Managem...uhh, Shit!! since you've all been to Bootcamp and seen firsthand what kinda shit happens in the first place out there.
But wait, there's more!!
-Eng100!! Fundamentals of Writing and Literature!!
We'll point you to "AlaskaVillageTales" on tehWeb and see if you'll get back with us or if you just end up Unfriending theSam!! on MySpace & FaceBook instead.
-Eng300!! Critical Approaches to Literature!!
1stSgts, 1stLt's and TeamLeaderSgts lead this class. "godDamnit Private, what the hell you readin' now?! I sent you on garbage detail hours ago!!
-Msc50001!! Impact of Music on Life.....Yours!!
And your iPod better hold at least 5000 porno movies in order to ride theTeamLeaders MRAP on patrol private or your life will be suckin"!!
-Psyc............ Egh, I think you get the picture.
---------------
lovs, theSam!!
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