Post Deployment
Over a year ago I reenlisted into active duty military service, in July 2009, and by this time last year had finished up basic and then spent Nov here at fortStewart GA before being picked up by 3rd ID and just a handful of us being equipped, trained and sent over to Iraq where our commandCo was already stationed.
Now we're back safe. We did have some personnel of ours get shot along the way, all lived. And there were times we were shot at on patrol and more often we just fought boredom, monotony of routine and sometimes, each other.
I had to endure about 6 months of hazing, harassment, male-on-male sexual assault and intimidation & assault, I was singled out, targeted for bullying and racked up dozens of Counseling statements from sr Enlisted, I was accused of falling asleep on checkPoint watch and demoted by command from E-3 / PFC to E-2 / PV2, now I'm an E-fuzzy!!
After the nightmares got to me, I wet myself, saw Mental Health and got to talk to a Psychologist about everything that happened to me on deployment. I'm glad that all happened, granted, it is embarassing to wake up in cold sweats, vivid dreams and you're peeing yourself, but I face it and move on.
I just tell myself, I'm from Alaska. the lastFrontier and I can pee anywhere up THERE!! d:oP
I figure that deployment just made theAlphaMales in our company a little more aggressive and a bit more annoying, I figure that being in such an environment of Infantry life, patrolling everyday and constantly being microManaged throughout the day was bound to have certain people act up and strut around abusing their authority and sure enough, I was a target.
It's great to be back on American soil again. It's great to be back to a normal life and to have some more privacy too, what with these trailers we now call barracks home and tehSam!! now has his own room!!
Currently I'm old. Still sore a bit in knees, ankles and back from enduring daily PT at fortSill OK and then at fortBenning GA. On deployment the PT never stopped, and neither did the tirades, threats and belittlement (that the Drill Sgts did) stop but I tried.
I spent the last 5 months reassigned across the base at MWR and life there on deployment was great. No one yelling at me, no PT really so my body healed itself a bit.
I failed the last few APFTs we had in Iraq and currently have command telling me that if I don't improve my PT scores that I will be Chaptered out of the Army. So right now, I don't even know if I'll get to take Nov or Dec block leave.
I don't know what my future in the Army has in store, it's been a great experience so far though. I've learned much and seen much. I'm proud to have served once again in uniform like I did 20yrs ago when I was in the Navy.
I always knew back then that I'd get this 2nd chance to serve my country and it happened. I've had a great life so far and look forward to the years ahead of me. I'm in the dark right now as to what will happen to me in the immediate Army future but I see life ahead of me after enlistment contract ends and I go back to the serviceIndustries of Food & Beverage.
I will go back to my adopted homestate of Alaska and live there.
Currently I occupy my trailerBarracks time with a cheapElectric guitar that I got from thePX. Music has always been in my familys blood. My Uncles played a few school dances and other events when they were teens to mid adults back in South Dakota.
I too know a few instruments and can strum chords, get a melody going in my head, put words to it and sing from my heart. Lately I amuse my fellow Soldiers around trailers cos I'll be outside with my mp3 player on or my CD player and huge headphones, Whispering, quietly screaming, mouthing words and humming while I drink and smoke. I need a break often from the guitar practice I put in when I can and give my calloused hands a rest.
It sucks to smoke sometimes, cos in my newbness I still cough now and then and I find myself wanting to swallow whatever I put in my mouth. Us foodies love to eat!!
Even last night I took a couple of breaks after dark from trying to do online Assessments at the Armys website to go out and host my own lil' KaroakeSam!! party. I'm a chick magnet yes and you should see me when I plug in distortion on my amp and get heavyMetal going.
Life is great. It was bad for awhile but it will get better.
Don't let go of who YOU are when people try to break you for all the wrong reasons. When you're as old as me you really have nothing to prove to anyone anymore. Even now, in my recently returned from deployment status I fell really hard for a young woman that come by here.
But she questioned my motives and my intentions when I offered affection, hugs, massages and all!! Like what normal people do when they like each other I guess. My goodness. Various roomies up and down the trailers here have female visitors come and go and no one questions them, and no one's going to question this 43yr old man either.
I'll find love and I'll settle in d:oP
Don't let go of who you are and don't lose faith in yourself. Life made you, your good clean decisions made you what wonderful person you are today. And live damnit. Life's too short to waste your time on people who don't really like you or care for you and just want to use you.
always.
PV2 Samuel L Flyinghorse
fortStewart, GA
US Army Infantryman
Now we're back safe. We did have some personnel of ours get shot along the way, all lived. And there were times we were shot at on patrol and more often we just fought boredom, monotony of routine and sometimes, each other.
I had to endure about 6 months of hazing, harassment, male-on-male sexual assault and intimidation & assault, I was singled out, targeted for bullying and racked up dozens of Counseling statements from sr Enlisted, I was accused of falling asleep on checkPoint watch and demoted by command from E-3 / PFC to E-2 / PV2, now I'm an E-fuzzy!!
After the nightmares got to me, I wet myself, saw Mental Health and got to talk to a Psychologist about everything that happened to me on deployment. I'm glad that all happened, granted, it is embarassing to wake up in cold sweats, vivid dreams and you're peeing yourself, but I face it and move on.
I just tell myself, I'm from Alaska. the lastFrontier and I can pee anywhere up THERE!! d:oP
I figure that deployment just made theAlphaMales in our company a little more aggressive and a bit more annoying, I figure that being in such an environment of Infantry life, patrolling everyday and constantly being microManaged throughout the day was bound to have certain people act up and strut around abusing their authority and sure enough, I was a target.
It's great to be back on American soil again. It's great to be back to a normal life and to have some more privacy too, what with these trailers we now call barracks home and tehSam!! now has his own room!!
Currently I'm old. Still sore a bit in knees, ankles and back from enduring daily PT at fortSill OK and then at fortBenning GA. On deployment the PT never stopped, and neither did the tirades, threats and belittlement (that the Drill Sgts did) stop but I tried.
I spent the last 5 months reassigned across the base at MWR and life there on deployment was great. No one yelling at me, no PT really so my body healed itself a bit.
I failed the last few APFTs we had in Iraq and currently have command telling me that if I don't improve my PT scores that I will be Chaptered out of the Army. So right now, I don't even know if I'll get to take Nov or Dec block leave.
I don't know what my future in the Army has in store, it's been a great experience so far though. I've learned much and seen much. I'm proud to have served once again in uniform like I did 20yrs ago when I was in the Navy.
I always knew back then that I'd get this 2nd chance to serve my country and it happened. I've had a great life so far and look forward to the years ahead of me. I'm in the dark right now as to what will happen to me in the immediate Army future but I see life ahead of me after enlistment contract ends and I go back to the serviceIndustries of Food & Beverage.
I will go back to my adopted homestate of Alaska and live there.
Currently I occupy my trailerBarracks time with a cheapElectric guitar that I got from thePX. Music has always been in my familys blood. My Uncles played a few school dances and other events when they were teens to mid adults back in South Dakota.
I too know a few instruments and can strum chords, get a melody going in my head, put words to it and sing from my heart. Lately I amuse my fellow Soldiers around trailers cos I'll be outside with my mp3 player on or my CD player and huge headphones, Whispering, quietly screaming, mouthing words and humming while I drink and smoke. I need a break often from the guitar practice I put in when I can and give my calloused hands a rest.
It sucks to smoke sometimes, cos in my newbness I still cough now and then and I find myself wanting to swallow whatever I put in my mouth. Us foodies love to eat!!
Even last night I took a couple of breaks after dark from trying to do online Assessments at the Armys website to go out and host my own lil' KaroakeSam!! party. I'm a chick magnet yes and you should see me when I plug in distortion on my amp and get heavyMetal going.
Life is great. It was bad for awhile but it will get better.
Don't let go of who YOU are when people try to break you for all the wrong reasons. When you're as old as me you really have nothing to prove to anyone anymore. Even now, in my recently returned from deployment status I fell really hard for a young woman that come by here.
But she questioned my motives and my intentions when I offered affection, hugs, massages and all!! Like what normal people do when they like each other I guess. My goodness. Various roomies up and down the trailers here have female visitors come and go and no one questions them, and no one's going to question this 43yr old man either.
I'll find love and I'll settle in d:oP
Don't let go of who you are and don't lose faith in yourself. Life made you, your good clean decisions made you what wonderful person you are today. And live damnit. Life's too short to waste your time on people who don't really like you or care for you and just want to use you.
always.
PV2 Samuel L Flyinghorse
fortStewart, GA
US Army Infantryman
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Hervey