Great Village Gospel Songs & Himz!!
Hello everyone. I’m theSam!! and I wanna be your Next Blog experience.
While chasing various Music experiences here in AngerRage
I find myself and my ‘lil Violin being drawn towards the sweet sounds of Country and Western.
I find that theFingers just want to be gentle and predictable.
Like a Steady strum of G, D7, Am, G, a quick C and back to G again and play over.
Or even to just break up about 4 chords and play each string over again and again. I like that.
Music has to come from within you, you have to feel a Melody and find a “Hook” and keep things simple.
In all seriousness I find that the old Hymns that I once heard as a Toddler while on the Reservation in South Dakota just sticks with me after all these years.
Ok ok, maybe I like a little “Thine Eyes Bleed”, “Arch Angel”, “Betsy”, some Voivod and early Judas Priest now and then.
I’ve always been a little rogue at times. A little vogue and almost always so Very Very vague.
Being Public Safety out in the middle of nowhere just isn’t suited for a Pat Boon or Mel Bay mindset sometimes.
Because when you have to change your personality from Barney Fife to Killer in a second while dealing with the Criminal element, music of a boisterous nature helps.
But I digress from my sleepy little diatribe.
Our small community still has a small church next to our family cemetary.
And a large swinging gate still guards entrance to the burial grounds.
And even though it’s just a cemetary and a gate is just a gate.
To me that is a sacred place. It is a place of Honor where my family, my People go after they die.
We lay their bodies to rest but for a short time.
Warriors lie there, and Women too.
For women have Creation powers and have such strong spirits and more potential than perhaps us Men.
And the title of Woman, to me is a great thing.
But some people, including Women, probably don’t care about my beliefs and my ideals. That’s ok.
I know those humble people that rest there in the Community cemetary.
I have seen them while my toddler feet ran amongst their graves almost 39 yrs ago.
As a child I used to toddle around the graves and “visit everyone“.
I would want the Cemetary gate to always be closed or else “all the Ghosts would get loose and run away!!”
Other times I wanted the gate to be open so everyone of the Sleeping people could get up,
out of their graves “and run around like me“, and play for awhile.
Aren’t children wondeful? They’re so innocent and pure. I was like that once, and in some ways I still am.
Because I haven’t lost touch with those precious memories that helped make me ME.
I haven’t lost my Language, my Roots, my Home and my Sense of Purpose here on earth.
I may have strayed a bit from what I once knew, but in all earnestness,
I went into the Darkness because I carried the Light and did help find Others.
For a time I did help those people that needed it.
Like my Church Mission field experience long ago.
While sitting around a small hot campfire in the dead of winter
us young Missionaries looked up at the sky and talked with each other.
A few glowing coals were poked and prodded by one of us, and then were flung out into the Darkness where they glowed quietly, to slowly go cold, except for one coal.
One ember that still glowed.
I wanted to be that Ember, to be in the darkness and glow. To light the way, to be seen by others.
And many years later, I found that I was that tiny burning piece of wood that held light. Held warmth for others.
And like fire, this little light of mine gets picked up, handled roughly and I burn people!!
I’m not young and idealistic anymore although, everyone should be such things when they are young. In my old age of almost "40", I have to be handled with care.
Now I Know what I See, and Believe what I See and still place Faith in what I once believed.
This quiet acceptance of self and sadly, of Others keeps me away from most people.
But let’s not digress too much here.
Long ago my tiny ears first heard the Old gospel hymns,
the old songs and accompanying guitars from musicians.
It’s my time to now become one of those musicians and play for other people.
And lately I find myself going back to the local Native hospitals and listening to those gospel music stalwarts that are already lifetimes ahead of me in musical ability.
But I will one day join them with my guitar, my key board and with MsKittie my Violin.
I seek out the Old tunes Online and in book shop and music store and have bought a couple of hymnals as well
Just last night as I practiced Violin I stopped playing the A and D scales and started playing By Ear, an LDS favorite hymn. A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.
In the LDS hymn book there are 9 or 10 verses to that song.
But I could only manage playing 5 verses before I quit. I was too moved by the Song to continue anymore.
But in my amateur squeakings on the Violin when the fingerboard just vibrates fully
and the Bow hair grips the strings just right when I play, then I know I’m getting there.
Into the groove as it were.
Even in Public Safety, after practicing with a steel telescoping baton on a large body pad
held by a partner or even when solo and drawing and stroking and then scabbarding theWeapon,
When time comes to actually use the Baton to defend yourself, etc.
The steel actually feels like it comes to life in your hands.
And you know that you’ve done right by practice and more importantly,
By visual imagery, by mentally going through the motions,
which is what I pretty much do with everything I do.
Like a recent action movie “theHunted” touts.
The physical part is easy, learning when to turn it off is the hard part.
I’m glad that I still cringe inwardly at unpleasant things.
I’m glad that anger and sadness, hate, jealousy and strife still scare me. And sin still scares me.
Such feelings are my internal barometer.
I will run to gunfire, run to emergency’s, but my internal barometer, as it were, still guides me.
I haven’t lost myself here in Alaska. I haven’t put my previous talents and abilities aside.
My God threw me into the darkness because I have a light that still burns.
And for now, by a resurgence, a renewed interest in music I will once again find others.
Here in Alaska I Found my self, my whole life has prepared me for here, for Now, and for what yet lies ahead.
Please, pardon my black humor. You have to be here to understand.
You have to know that a comment on the outward world condition
is also an equal comment upon the inward condition or potential condition.
The physicians of this world say, Physician-heal thy self!!
I say, Officer-Police thy self!!
Tell the world what you’ve seen and experienced and temper it with some humor at least.
Great Village Gospel Songs & Himz!!
I Am Thine O Lord
(and theStates for 99yrs plus Life!!)
When the Battles Over
(I hope that Officer fell!!)
He Hideth My Soul
(and I hideth my Stash!!)
(and he hideth my wife and kids from me sometimes too at theVillage safe house)
Close To Thee!!
(and as far from Him as I can get)
Since Jesus Passed By
(but that Sam!! is still tracking me, looking at every twig and tuft of grass!!!)
Leaning On The Everlasting Arms
(of my Cousins, or is it my brother?? I’m not sure which, I can’t see straight much less stagger left and right)
When the Savior Reached Down For Me
(he had a beard, but I squint my eyes and see that it’s just Sam!! and he has nose hairs instead.
Tweeze those suckers, you look like you got two kittens stuffed up your nose.....oh.
and Sam!! reached for me and pulled me out of my hiding place behind theSofa!!)
All Hail the Power
(of the Tazer, that damnable device.
I’d gladly sober up the rest of my life if I could only shoot Him with that infernal stun gun)
Sweet Hour of Prayer
(and then a Hard heavy hour of Metal, sniffing Coke
and drinking booze until those Officers broke into my house)
Mansion Over the Hilltop
(Lemmon Creek, Spring Creek, Matsu Pre Trial Facility, Fairbanks Correctional Center, etc.
or even the Big house in Arizona, it’s all the same to me)
Blessed Be the Name
(and cursed be theSam!! and all Public Safety rookies everywhere!!)
I’m Free
(at least for another few days, then I’ll get drunk, hit my girl,
speed my car and crash it and go back Inside)
In the Garden
(behind Grammas house where I hid for hours, but that darn Rookie wannabe found me)
Five Rows Back
(wow, 35 plus adults CAN fit in his holding cell if we all stand up straight and still)
This World Is Not My Home - I’m Just Passing Through
(and that Safety Officer says the same thing about my Village,
he’s just here for a few short months,
so why’s he hitting on my older cousin and looking after her and the 3 boys??)
There’s Something About That Name
(that damnable Sam!! I tell you, I can’t stand him... I hate him, he’s so annoying.)
When We All Get To Heaven
(we’ll all hope that theSam!! isn’t there, we’ll send him to hell and tell him to patrol that place.
“And take that stupid Violin with you too!!”)
When Morning Comes
(those Officers will be inside my house,
quietly bundling me up and carrying me outside and driving me away to Jail)
Heaven Came Down and Glory Filled My Soul
(But first he had to get heave his Village hunnies arms off him,
get dressed and then come down from his room then across theVillage to my Gramma’s home,
maybe it was hell and it was OC spray that filled my lungs.
They sprayed my house and stood outside waiting for me and my homies to run out)
He Touched Me!!
(and my cousin, my sister too, my Mother and my girlfriends.
Darn it, I wish they’d search us girls with the Palms of their hands and such, instead of using the backs of their hands.
And quit recording the searches with those video cameras and talking into their cassette recorders too.)
I’ll Fly Away
(with theState Troops again, and hopefully not ever on a plane that theSam!! is piloting.
Since he’s taking flight lessons and looking at getting theVillage a plane.)
After the Sun Rise
(I’ll still be safely tucked inside his Patrol vehicle, 4 hours to drive and I gotta pee!!!)
Leave It There
(they never listen to me. Just leave my stuff alone and quit searching my car, my house!!)
If It Keeps Getting Better
(than how Village life currently is, it’ll be when those officers are gone!!
Until then, life sucks, I hate myself and drink to escape reality and drug up to feel good. Reality bites.)
Joy Comes In the Morning
(I just love the smile on Sam!!’s face when he arrests me, at least I make him happy.
It’s my mission in life to make him happy and have a sense of divine purpose in my humble Village.)
He’s the Savior Of My Soul
(I meant “Sole”, when I got drunk, crashed my car and walked 10 miles on the icy Village road
I left my boots back at the crash site because I didn’t want to scuff them.
Amazingly I never damaged my feet from the frost bite and Sam!! retrieved my boots, my coat, my alcohol,
he at least gave me my pack of cigs lying in the snow.)
Jesus We Just Want to Thank You
(for getting that Officer out of our Village, now we can go back to drinking and preying upon each other.
My daughters boy friends can keep on beating them and my grandkids will go back to staying up late at night while everyone parties in the house and no one is here in theVillage to keep the peace.
I can hit my wife of 30 years and call her names all I want to because no one will be able to stop me when I drink and chase my family around with a knife or with a bat.
A Better Life
(Ha!!! that’s a good one)
No Tears In Heaven
(no beer either, Maybe that’s why. No drugs either, I think that’s a typo.....)
In the Shadow Of the Cross
(and in the shadow of theSafety!! and his helper in the Village and all their grapevine buddies that watch US)
The Old Rugged Cross
(man, he’s got a left hook as well. He took us all at once and we never touched him either.
My arm is broken from that Baton strike too.)
When I Survey the Wondrous Cross
(as well as do informal opinion polls upon my buddies to see if we can petition or gather to get
that Officer fired from his job and out of our Village!!
But he always has his cameras and his cassette recorders playing and he always tells us
to call the Council and to even contact his non Profit boss that hired him, after every contact with us via Arrests, Altercations, etc.)
Praise Him Now
(and Curse HIM always, darn officer)
Coming Again
(at least I was when they pulled me off the Girl.
They worked me over good and let her go. No one went to jail either. I didn’t walk right for a month.
Ten Thousand Angels
(couldn’t get theBottle from my hand much less get alcohol out of theVillage or theRegion.
So why’d they send out those various Officers anyhow?? But theSam!! really tries though)
Because He Lives
(it just chaps my ass and that of theCouncil that he’s here among us,
holding us to our local laws & ordnances even!!)
This Could Be the Dawning Of That Day
(when that damn Officer slips up and makes a mistake, gets fired.
And people wonder why some Villagers live so long!! It’s just that they cling to life in hopes of “that Day”)
Some Golden Day Break
(some kids took this tune and made into “Some Golden Jail Break”,
And after one young girl got creative with Lemmon and water spritzer one summer and highlighted her tresses and that of her friends, the tune was, “Some Golden Jail Bait” rrrrRRRwwwrrr!)
He Ransomed Me
(or at least my Vehicle, and that of half theVillage by impounding for $100 return plus $50 each additional day!!
Things like this is why theCouncil tolerates him, at times he makes $ for them)
When We See the Christ, it will be worth it all
(and when we see him drive OUT of theVillage with possessions in tow,
even if I’m on my death bed and have to crawl through Glass,
over hot coals along with crawling over half the passed out Village Council
and by the crib of my hungry crying grandsons and going through fire to get to the living room Window to see, it will be worth it!!)
Give Me Oil In My Lamp
(We’re sitting in theDark, cos theParty’s over,
at least for the time being when someone gets $ together and pays our utes and water bill to theCouncil.
Cos we’ve been drinking our $ away for most of the year and neglecting our bills and our children by not feeding them adequately and looking after them.
Shall We Gather At The River?
(for now, there’s nowhere else to run from those Officers.
wait. there’s that tiny parcel of land across from theGeneral store that we can hide in the trees.
quick everyone... Run!!)
Jesus Is the Friend of Sinners
(and theSam!! is the friend of theCute VillageChixxx!!
And no, you restaurant people. “Chix” to you may mean “Chicken strips or chicken basket dinner” but to theSam!! VC means so much more.
Bubblegumness and dumbidity all wrapped up inside a young girl that, for the most part,
hasn’t been abused and hasn’t imbibed or smoked enough to make her life choices to follow Village vice or NOT.
Besides, as a whole VillageChixxx are kinda hard to pin down, like a greased pig,
you can chase but you’ll never get a hold on it for long.
But there was that one time during theParty breakup when a bag of flour got thrown at theSam!! and everyone present got soaked in powder, then a bag of sugar got broken too,
and that sort of “Put a handle on things” for theSam!! as he was then able to grab a hold of theKids.)
(Sinners / Villagers are theFriend of Sam!!, especially around payday too,
then the smiles and hello’s all come out... *sigh*)
The Haven of Rest
(that was my friends house, and my relatives is No More.
Now that those Officers have pretty much been in the homes of everyone looking for me tonight.
Guess I’ll just retreat to that spot in theWoods west of theVillage barechested and no socks & shoes. Darn mosquitos.)
So Send I You
(my children to theLodge to play around and spy and tell me later what theSam!! is doing.
Is he sleeping?, who’s visiting him now?, Who?! wow, again!? uh huh.. and then who else?,
uh huh... ok, go play some more, this time stay outside and over by the sheds.
It’s almost 4 and you’ll all be going to swim anyway, be the first to get a ride with him in the back of his pickup.)
Where ever He Leads I’ll Go
(as if I had a choice right now, my hands are cuffed and my feet are shackled,
at least he brushed his teeth and,,*sniff-sniff* he took a shower too.
Darn uniform can literally stand up all by itself sometimes too. In a few months ,
when I get back to theVillage, I’ll remember to let him finish his laundry day before I beat my wife and kids.)
The Longer I Serve Him, the sweeter he grows
(ha ha... and that one time I had the car. The longer I swerved at him, the faster he ran!!
My friends & I at lockup kept ourselves sane that one winter as I told and retold that story every day too.
I didn’t know theSam!! could move so fast too, wearing those stupid rubber scuba booties in the dead of winter too.
I swear, if it wasn’t for theSam!! and his antics I’d be dead in jail, my stories keep me from getting raped and beaten sometimes.)
Let Me Touch Him
(with my fists, my feet and anything that can be used as a weapon upon him,
for being here in theVillage and taking away our alcohol & drugs and keeping the peace around here. Just let me at him!!)
Each Step of the Way, i’m following Jesus
(at least that’s what those Officers say sometimes, that “we’re your God now and we’ll take care of you”)
My God and I
(my Officer and I, on our way to theCity once again)
I’ve Been To Calvary
(in a Cavalier at one time, when that one Officer to theVillage had to use his car,
and then later on in a few pickups too, and finally when theVillage got theSam!! a Crown Victoria)
O Master, Let Me Walk With Thee
(I don’t wanna sit handcuffed in theCar while you look through theScene and find my Stash!!
Please, Officer, hear my plea!! At least turn down theMusic!!, I hate techno, please!!)
Jesus Loves Me
(and theSam!! tolerates my presence, much like I tolerate him too in theVillage!!)
He Whispers Sweet Peace To Me
(and he looks so handsome and I just love him to pieces!!
And then theDrugs wear off and he’s quietly sitting there finishing his reports.
Listening to his audio tapes and I hear that he was really getting after me for being at theParty
and ending up assaulted and I can’t believe that was me swearing so much and accusing him of hurting me.)
Praise Him! Praise Him!
(my son, my son, how he’s being lowered into theGround and you never stepped up to say something.
At least you’re not scooping a handful of dirt upon him like everyone else is. At least say something.
I always knew he was a murderer but he was First, my son, and now years later, he’s dead.
All those times you took him to jail and even had to protect yourself and me from him.
say something good about him, don’t just stand there quietly.
praise...... say someth....)
Don’t Turn Around To Things You Left Behind
sled dogs really do eat their waste, sometimes. And some Villagers do go back to their former life as they knew it.
It’s sad but true. And all those times when I left theVillage from 40miles away just before I’d cross over thePass,
I’d look back for one last moment. I’d go back to theWork, never again in that Village but elsewhere, because theWork is necessary, of keeping thePeace and of lifting people up out of their life and showing them that there’s more that they could be.
I still look back from time to time, and though at times, having indigestion and hiccuping
or having a small taste of bile rise up. It reminds me of that saying....
”don’t turn around to things you left behind”
Got Any Rivers?
(that we can run up or down on?
So we can get away from those Officers as they are now funded and equipped for summertime boating to access the lakes and rivers around theVillage!!)
I’ve A Home Beyond the River
(on a quiet island just this side of Fish camp that no one knows about!! tee hee hee, OH..
except for theCabin owners but they’re away for the summer.
Man, those people had lots of food, water, bedding, furnishings and even 4wheelers!
We used the gas from the boats and the snowmachines to gas up our outboard. ha ha)
He Is Coming Soon!
(that’s what my kids tell me, see, to the average eyes people might see my kids playing in the street, but to me.
When my 6yr old tugs on his cap and then hits his little brother that tells me that theVPO / village police officer is coming.
But when I see my 8yr old scoop his cap off and drop it, Cos theSam!!
doesn’t wear any head gear except for a stocking cap in winter, then that means theSam!! is near.)
Have Thine Own Way, Lord
(and you too Village Council, and theSam!! and anyone else that thinks that their Sober ways of life are better for me than my own Inebriate, wasteful living is. Go on, have it your way!)
There Is Power In the Blood
(ha!! but hardly any left in that Nissan.
At least until he stopped on the road, let his engine cool off
and then fixed the broken fan belt and theAlternator belt in the dead of night.
We got passed him, didn’t stop, but he never looked anyway.
Darn it. we sure wish that at times, he needed us like we need him)
Blessed Assurance
(and blessed insurance as well.
As after stopping us on a lark, theSam!! was looking for “extra’s to ticket us with
and we had updated car insurance too. ha ha. he let us go.
At least for that night,)
Jesus Is All the World To Me
(and at least 3 times a week for a few hours,
So is theSam!! he’s my everything. He brings me water, feeds me,
watches me and even plays techno music for me while we wait in his Office for State Troop transport.)
Will There Be Any Stars?
(when he strikes my head with that padded & taped up steel pipe?
Will there be any pain when he smites me with that baton after I attack him?
Will there be any contusions and bruising after....)
Where The Roses Never Fade
(pretty much that be anywhere but theVillage!! as theRoses / VillageChixxx!! fade sometimes during middle school.
Oh there’s the occasional early bloomer that starts to burn out in 3rd grade, but that’s very rare.
And just about during high school is the twilight years for theRoses!! They start to fade, they start to Sag, start to fatten out too and then they go downhill completely after that.
All except for theSam!!’s entourage, they stay eternally young and cute.
What with his salon help and insistance upon sobriety to be one ofHis!!)
That Glad Reunion Day
(in jail or prison with my relatives or homies,
Good to see you all again, yes it’s me. Me?!, assault IV, II and misconduct with a weapon,
attempted murder and misconduct with controlled substances, You?!)
The Promised Land
(that unseen area within YVC Inc (doh!!) where theVillages dwell without any VPSO / VPO or State Troop of any kind!
A haven away from all things lawful and no one looking over our shoulders to keep us inline and to keep our good relatives safe from us. We keep looking for that place, we know it exists.
A land flowing with Milk from our rape victims breasts and free $ / money too!!
All given to us without us working for it and there is no law.
We’re entitled to it after all, because we’re Natives and the world and our gov’t owes it to us from our birth day to our death day.
Wooo hooo!!! free ride!!
After
(Before, During and heck!! Even AFTER!!)
Jesus, I Believe What You Said
(just stop reading theCase Report back to me now that I’m sobering up.
I can’t believe I did all those things. Stop it, cut it out!!)
Touched By the Masters Love
(and touched by theOfficers Glove!! I can’t believe that theSam!! got those armored gloves.
They’re big, they’re hard and I don’t like being touched by them when he’s searching my pockets and body.)
Where Two or Three Are Gathered
(to drink, there be theSam!! too, or eventually at least.
But sometimes after theParty he is there to walk amongst us as we lay on theGround / theFloor and crawl around in our stupor.
It’s the smart thing to do by letting us get incapacitated and filled with alcohol and drugs. turns out one time one winter all he did was watch us from afar and even came into our house after hours, we saw his scuba bootie prints in the snow.
OH.. and often Where Two or Three Officers are Gathered.... there be a Prisoner or two!!
or There be at least $15K combined upon their persons)
Over the Sunset Mountains
(we saw Sam!! fly his rented plane, as he’s learning to fly and that scares a few of theBootleggers, as they have a friend that flies booze and drugs into theVillage.
and because theSam!! brought those FlightServices People into theVillage
and let our kids fly for free and even operate theControls of thePlane once it was airborne,
“over theSunset mountains...flies my kids!!)
I Love to Tell the Story
(of how theSam!! got his VillageCouncil loaned snow-machine stuck in theWillow trees.
That dumbass can’t even drive! And there’s the other time when he got theCouncil loaned pickup stuck, oh wait..
That other officer got it stuck during that one Winter Carnival week when TWO officers were in theVillage, doh well.
At least it was theSam!! that wrecked his patrol car after sliding off theIcy road. ha ha ha.....idiot.
And then that one time when he...)
In The Upper Room
(in theLodge is where he rests. And where theKids go to visit,
And where pretty much everyone else can go to summon him to their emergencys. I hate that place, though I might work in theLodge and have to look down theHall at thatInfernal place of refuge for some people.
I hate to admit that even I have been there too. Many times, that’s the safest place in the whole village!!)
Just A Closer Walk With Thee
(Sam!!, can you hold my elbow tighter and perhaps, hold me with both arms so I “wont run away”?
I’m cuffed and shackled and I don’t see how I’m going anywhere....
I mean, it’s just a few steps to theBathroom and....)
Workers Together With God
(eerrr.... I mean. with theSam!! since he’s theVillageCouncil appointed Village Service worker oversight, theBoss of us during the summer months and at times, even during theWinter too!!
And people don’t think we Villagers ever work either, now would be a great time for picture taking but as usual, HE just stands there and doesn’t waste his Mavica time on us Nebes and other troublemakers.
guess we’re not cute enough or something...)
They That Sow In Tears, shall reap in joy
(this Hymn was sponsored by, written by and endorsed since Time Immemorial by every VillageChixxx!! that ever lived, especially the really cute ones that just bared enough Shoulder and bossom.
That lowered theJeans just so and had the right amount of midriff and back showing.
And to close theDeal, had their long hair up just right and a light dusting of makeup on their fresh faces batting their lush lashes as they asked, begged for Leniency, clemency, financial help, protection, mercy and the occasional loan too.
Oh man..... *bites hand*)
The Lily Of the Valley
(this is the respectful way of saying “Village Diva!!”,
which is a different breed of Villager, entirely, utterly and completely.
A VillageChixxx!! / village chick is a cute hot female or at least WAS at one time but a VillageDiva can be a VillageChixxx!! or can be a Man too.
Trust me, every “valley” has not ONE or two hundred of these Lillies, but literally thousands. You can’t get away from them, at times they’re worse than any gripings and complainings given to any Officer by theFemales.
They can gripe about anything you do for them, gripe and complain about anything you might ask or suggest. They make snide comments to you all the time when you speak to them.
Lillies bloom year round and never wilt because from the start they ARE wilted and shriveled, stunted and ugly inside, mean in spirit and are not kind.
I’ve met many of these Lillies during my times in theVillages!!
They won’t help watch kids, they won’t help haul heating oil for their relatives, they won’t feed their relatives but will instead eat first and then go home to sleep. You ask them to scoop snow or plow and they say they’re not a Charity for you.
Sadly, every valley in Alaska will never be rid of these Lillies. Much like drugs, alcohol and dysfunctional living they’re here to stay too. So just accept it and never let them bother you.
Blessed Jesus Loves You Too
(I always say in return when I get theFinger from my Villagers.
It’s their way of blessing you and saying how much they care and then the occasional Villager will completely mess up their life by getting injured, crippled or later die and I say.
Jesus loves you too and wants you to have aaallll this time in hospital or in the wheel chair or that He called you home to be with him. yes, my villagers. theSam!! loves you too, now get over it)
His name Is Wonderful
(at least that’s what he calls himself, but others call theSam!! by other names and monikers too.
None of which we will repeat here, except to say that some rhyme with “astard”, “ucker”, “spit head”, “cupid” etc.
And moving on......)
When They Ring the Golden Bells
(we can only hope they’ve strung him up to “remove” his balls!!)
Brighten the Corner Where You Are
(in the Holding cell by using your zippo lighter that theOfficer overlooked in patdown search.
Or you can brighten your corner of the holding cell by adding a golden splash of urinal color!!
Just be sure to wear an absorbant T-shirt or overshirt because before you leave theHoldingCell,
you will get used as a quick-Mop to clean up your corner!!)
We’re Marching to Zion
(by marching round theVillage in unison and waving religious banners and making a religious scene.
Little did we know that we were challenging theDarkness and in doing so we helped baptize our new VPSO into his profession that summer with the various Gun calls, theAssaults, theSex assaults at the drunken parties and with theEndless DVE’s upon our daughters from their boyfriends and husbands.
But in doing so we also rallied theArmies of heaven to help us in our hour of need and to also help our Officer in his job.
And he did his job ever after and will do so for eternity. God bless us all as we march to zion.)
Without Him
(yes.. Exactly!!! That’s what this Village needs, is to be without Him!!
And just after we got rid of the other Officers too, and subsequently got rid of the other officers that came after Sam!! left.
I Am Resolved
(to do all I can to get rid of this pesky Officer. he does his job and never lets local leaders intimidate him or sway him.
Even after we hired help for him and thought that would alleviate his work load, give him time off etc.
OH.. and I am also absolved of all things held against me, those stupid reports and the charges brought against me. Completely ludicrous!!
I don’t understand how people like that can live, always expecting us Drinkers and criminals to behave and leave our families alone.
I thought that life in theVillage was suppose to be fun, and one big party.
When I’ve Traveled My Last Mile, he’ll hold my hand
(as he pulls me from my car kicking and screaming, he’ll hold my hands behind my back and cuff me,
he’ll hold my arms and guide me as he walks beside me back to his patrol vehicle and there I’ll sit as he confiscates my drugs and empties out my alcohol in front of me,
I’ll watch his Onscreen antics as he stands before his dash-board videocam and record all of the events.)
Love Lifted Me
(love,, or is it lee?? I can’t recall his middle name. But he did lift me....
Right out from behind my aunties Sofa. darn birthday parties,
oh.. sorry, that’s my little nephew that theVillage was gathered there for. Next time I won’t drink so much Vodka, as that is what theVPSO could smell strongest over theMoose stew and black bear meat.
That and my one cousin’s sweet perfume and her menstrual cycle too.
At least that’s what he said, among other babble as he drove me to jail later that day.
The Eastern Gate
(is no more. cos that darn officer and his carload of Village hunnies done crashed theGarden!! ha ha ha ... it was funny to see them driving around.
See, at times when he’d drive around theVillage some girls would hop in and ride around. And get this.... theEastern garden gate is on theWest side of Grammas house.
And the street that theCop was driving on is on theEAST side of theHouse. hah hah ha ha ha ha ha.. idiot driver.
And his office lights were on all night too as he sat in front of that dumb computer typing.)
Since Jesus Came Into My Heart
(theSam!! came into my home, my room looking for my cousins and their friends.
At least that’s what I heard, I dunno though, I’m here in Arizona for another 10 yrs.
I got nothing else to do now but get religion.
Send the Light
(but make it a Bud Light!! please.
No, no no. Keep theSam!! and his SureFire light away from me. darn little tiny light hurts my eyes.
Blinded me for a few minutes too. And for sure, keep that darn D cell maglight away from me too, using that as a weapon upon my noggin after I swung at him too.
Just send anything but theSam!! to me.
He’s the One!
(that touched me with his Armored Gloves!!,
he’s theOne that Violated my person by searching my shirt and pants for theCoke I smuggled to theVillage!!
he’s theOne that said all those mean things about me in that report and lied to theJudge and Prosecutor about me and my boyfriend.
he’s theOne that responded to my DVE / domestic violence event and chased away my boyfriend,
he’s theOne that kept my baby safe for a few hours by watching him and feeding him.
He’s theOne that later on kept my baby from my cousin as she was too drunk and sick to care for my son at theRiver, after I was at home passed out from drinking.
He’s theOne that kept my cousin and her friend safe at Grammas house from a local sex predator while my cousins mother drove out to theVillage to retrieve her and take her back to theCity. yes,,
he’s theOne your honor,
God,
humanity,
he’s theOne.
Kneel At the Cross
Personally I’m not about visual reminders of pain and misery. But to look at a crucifix is somewhat discouraging and yet it does lift me up too.
As one time in theVillage. I met a young Russian lad that had somehow found his way to our Village over 300road miles away from theCity!!
And this young Russian man had a soft Executive type briefcase with him that was literally stuffed with religious artwork.
Expensive looking, multicolored lithography of various religious scenes. I liked the print of theSavior standing arms outspread in a welcoming gesture and theCross was behind him.
And in script font to the side of the picture read something like; “he showed me how much he loved my by spreading his arms and dying....”
So I bought that print for $20!! I say it with an exclamation point because if you look at the young Russian man. He’s got a brief case full of $20 prints and the bundle was at least 8” thick.
And if you do theMath, at $20 a print you’d see that by the time this young man left all of theVillages up and down theRiver from where I was at that time, he’d have at least $6K with him. He must have been armed and trained for confrontation like I was at that time too.
But, I took one of his prints and handed him a $20 like nothing and I kept that tacked to my office wall. It was my reminder that for me Way out in theVillages doing the sacred work of Public Safety.
That I needed a shoulder to lean on, and not just my Non profit boss or my State Troop Oversight either.
I needed a divine helping hand in theWork that I chose THEN and still choose NOW to do.
The Last Mile Of the Way
(hee hee hee, Little does anyone know that my day to day conversations to my Village friends and drinking relatives are just the passing of Cryptic messages.
For instance, talking of High-Bush berry recipes and adding various amounts of sugar and yeast is just a way of saying that I hid my alcohol shipment on the 2nd mile of where theBlue bushes grow along theHighway and that whomever I’m speaking too needs to buy sugar and someone else needs to get yeast and vanilla. Cool huh?!
And that is how you talk to your friends in theVillage!! just talk of anything.
Heck, you can even talk to theVPSO in Council meetings and he won’t know that as he follows theCouncil List Agenda on various items we discuss,
theMessage is right before his beady close set Four eyes and he doesn’t even know it?! What a fool!
That is until that first summer of his employment, then he started to sneak around in theWoods and put two and two together and by keeping field notes and even listening in on theAlcohol fueled babble of many prisoners in his custody he figured things out. But he didn’t tell,
He never let on at all. Just acted dumb and dutifully did his job and “responded” to our emergencies.
*sigh*
Take the Name Of Jesus With You
(when you leave theVillage, and that stupid horse you rode in on too!!
Because if we Natives were serious about fighting alcohol and drug abuse we’d take such matters into our hands and without State interference or Funds we’d completely wipe out this Scourge that afflicts us.
We then wouldn't need special visits from theGov and other dignitaries and we wouldn't need funding and programs, because we hold the power to heal ourselves.
But we don’t want control of our future and we don’t want to lose our “victim” status in our eyes and the eyes of theWorld.
We want others to feel sorry for us and to “help” us, in other words, to enable us and burden us with more gov’t programs that are supposed to help us but in the long run really hurt us and take our freedoms away.
So take your white god with you when you go because we really don’t need him here with us...
Or do we?!
February 2007
Lately as I work and then spend my off duty time at theEnclave in Mtn View sleeping. I take time to practice my Violin that I bought.
I also have brought out my cheapo beat up Guitar that I got from the Pawn shop and of course, my keyboard that I got when I was VPSO long ago.
I play and practice on all 3 instruments more and my finger callouses even have callouses!!
Here In Anchorage I’ve worked for 3 security companies.
I’ve watched theParking Garages downtown, I’ve walked theMalls and the streets too.
I’ve driven a patrol route and have been stationed at hospices and hospital sites too.
And the common denominator for all the work I’ve done, or in terms of Clients-has been theInfirm.
theNatives, theElderly, theInebriate, those too sick and too homeless, hopeless to take care of themselves.
I suppose I could be safely tucked away behind an AnchoragePolice uniform or other Agency but I am here in the private security sector.
My duties are not to detain, not to arrest, not to write state documents and charge people.
My duties are to help. My duties are to summon aid and when necessary, to give aid and comfort.
It sickens me to see that a few Elders / Old people on the street are cast off from their familys.
Recently I attended a religious revival at a local hotel, it was held inside a small conference room building and was a great experience to be among energetic Native peoples all filled with enthusiasm for celebrating and worshiping theLord God as they saw fit to do.
And the key evangelist, Gary Simple, a man I had met years earlier while I was out in theVillages was headlining theEvent.
His friends played guitar and the band took us audience through several religious songs before the evangelist Gary got up and took the microphone.
I think it’s great that good people like him are preaching religion and helping theNatives get closer to God, closer to salvation and of getting Sober.
Getting away from drugs, alcohol and sinful living.
I certainly wouldn’t be here today if some religious people didn’t find my little family in South Dakota many years ago.
And I wouldn’t be here if I had not chosen to accept religion into my life, into my heart and then after Internalizing it for many years.
Did go out and be a Missionary for MY church theMormons.
Now years later, after having failed at my task to settle down and into Mormon life and marry a good girl and have kids and work steady I found myself on the streets of Seattle.
After a few months I was granted an opportunity to come to Alaska and I have never been the same since. My life certainly took a turn for the better.
My life experiences certainly prepared me for the taking of theMantle of Village Public Safety and later on, Public Safety at Large.
The overall experiences of looking into the hearts of each man, woman and child I meet on a daily basis and for a moment I do see, I glimpse a part of them and I do judge.
For in my Alaska Village Public Safety experiences I made a solemn vow that I would accept,
I WOULD ACCEPT, responsibility for Other Peoples Lives!
and in doing so, to a degree I do accept responsibility for other peoples mistakes and will accept, as much as I can, the consequences for their actions as they relate to my job I do here.
Not very many men or women do make a stand and state such things, but then again.
Just look at every Soldier, Airman, Sailor and Marine on duty today.
Just look at your local Law Enforcement and your other Corrections Officers too.
Look at those that drive buses, those that take the Big rigs full of Food, clothing, equipment and other items Interstate for us.
Just look at our school teachers and other Public Officials and you’ll see that they too, for the most part, publicly stand and do declare their acceptance for other people’s lives and safety.
so, I Samuel Lee Flyinghorse, security officer, do not stand alone in this task.
Recently I visited some military sites on the Internet and then went back to the SCARS . com sites and back to the Target Focus Training Group sites that I enjoy and I read of various safety programs put into place and being offered to the public.
Safety programs that teach along the subjects of self defense and yet, it’s so much more than just “self-defense”.
SCARS and TFT also helped change my life and by following “their Ways” I have evolved into a much better man overall.
I ascribe to scars and tft because they aren’t ordinary every day martial arts. They are centuries beyond martial arts, that for the most part, is still stranded in the 17th, 16 centuries and even before that.
And God Bless the creators of such effective safety programs and fighting programs as these scars & tft. I cannot say enough good things about them. I ascribe to them because they lay out the cold hard truth of human control.
That we as people need to look at Other people and learn from that, to train from there and to take our own Personal Safety into our hands and not rely upon Other people to protect us.
But these and other great programs are of Man.
Lately I have been drawn by my music searches, back to my Mormon roots and I finger my Violin to the LDS tunes and slowly discover how to play hymns I hold dear.
Sacred music that honors my God and my Savior. Tunes that lifted my sad heart many times and tunes that, celebrate Pioneer heritage and the overall Integrity and Character that was evident in the making of our great nation and of our fledgling LDS religion too.
Under it all, my heart and spirit yearn for the God I once knew.
But understand that in my new life here in Alaska, I did step away from my church and from my goodly past for a bit.
God my Father and Jesus Christ my Savior never stepped away from me, they never left,
they’re still where they are and they await my return in Heart, Mind, Spirit and Body back to them.
For now, Public Safety is my Wife, my Bride, my love and my Life right now.
She is a terrible, terrible Jealous mistress and is very protective of my time and my commitments.
For in belonging to her I belong to Everyone.
I will not forget the feelings that I once had for my beloved Villagers. I cannot forget the dysfunction,
I cannot forget theBloody scenes I saw, I cannot forget theTurmoil and Strife I was immersed in Out There.
It haunts my sleep and invades my waking hours.
My eyes still see, my ears still hear,
and at times I do speak to old scenes long past and done with-out loud to no one in particular.
This is my Calling, this is my Curse and my Blessing too.
I accept it, and in doing so I do foresee my Eternal Path.
It will be one of great responsibility and the wielding of God’s power.
For I know that according to my faith, that if I never eternally marry and have posterity,
that my path in the Eternities will still be great and fulfilling.
Long ago I accepted these things.
For, as history records in the Bible and other sacred text.
Who do you think that the various Angels that God sent to Test, to Wrestle with, to Warn,
to Destroy and Work wonders really were?
Do you think they were just randomly pulled from Gods legions of Angels
or were they all learned men at one time?
Men who had proven themselves, perhaps in uniform somewhere,
and grew into beings of great Integrity and firm Resolve.
For as much as it sounds funny to take people into custody and struggle with them.
It doesn’t feel funny to even strike or Tazer, to hurt others and detain them.
And I don’t even want to think of how taking life feels, but at times,
I come close to feeling such when my God lets me feel a twinge of such pain and then takes it away.
It does take resolve to do unpleasant things and especially to another human being.
And I have such unflinching resolve. Because I believe that I am strong enough to do this.
To shut yourself off and put all feelings aside and do what is required is a learned response,
an acquired taste if you will. But one with heavy consequences too.
Public Safety is my life right now, and I will move on within it’s scope of practice.
For each day here in theCity, do I arm myself.
Do I go out with the knowledge that I may never come back to my little messy Apartment.
Our society is getting worse each day and every day someone assaults another person,
each day someone dies and each day we get closer to theAbyss by sprinting faster!
I hate it with a purple passion!! how I, or other of my current Security Officers in the company I currently work for, may need help from our AirportPolice and we get treated lightly.
And it may take several minutes for a response to our need. And yet when ever I’ve had an Inebriate or any other harmless transient onsite causing suspicion you can’t keep theAirportPolice away!!
They dance through theDoors, they emerge NavySEAL style from theWater puddles,
they appear out of camoflauge hiding from theWalls and they spider-crawl, rope down from the roofs and surround us.
And what I thought were just people waiting curbside for arrivals of their loved ones were really Officers under cover!! It goes on and on.
One day I walked past the small trash cans, they stand 18" wide, 3' tall and are in the Smoker booths, One of these cans sneezed!!! Give me a break!!
And at distant roof tops, you can see small black dots appear and just feel theSniperScopes upon your head.
They need to get their priorities straight.
One day recently I saw two Native Inebriates wandering around theAirport.
Hours later they were still there and even though they wanted to ride the bus away they kept missing the bus to downtown.
So I finally find them and we walk together to the bus stop and Another young man approaches me and says “Look”
I look and there at the bus stop is a Native male, passed out or else sleeping on the bench.
And with our recent winter temps hovering around Zero degrees F. The skin chills and gets cold outside, I certainly was cold that day at work.
And I notify Dispatch of theInebriate sleeping on the bench. Please call theCommunity service Patrol van for pickup.
No he’s not responding, no, yes he’s breathing. He’s intoxicated. he’s cold to touch, Wait, he’s stirring, He can’t get up.
The Police want to know Who, What, Where, When Why and if the man took his coffee with one lump or two before they would send help.
They also wanted to know his breakfast and bra size!!
Sorry, I’m watching GI Jane on tv as I type this. See how much thought I put into this Blog of mine!?
I pulled my cell phone off my outer jacket to dial city 9-1-1 but an Officer was approaching.
She was a fine physical specimen, doing one armed pushups and had a shorn head.. oops
Sorry,
theOfficer approached and spoke with the three Native men I was with, and at that time, theAirportSwatTeam made it’s entrance.
Flashbangs to the Left, Claymores to theRight and some human spiders coming over the Top Ramps while a few Officers emerged from the Man hole at my feet, Lifting me off theGround bytheWay, and a few cars screeching to a stop nearby.
I quietly gestured with One hand “my Love” for thePolice towards the area where I felt theSniper Scopes covering me.
Half the time we Officers at the Airport just call in Unattended Cars as directed, no biggie.
But we do the job and if that’s all the job sometimes is, when we get less than timely response then we have to wonder what the AirportPolice really think of us.
But in another paycheck or so I’m getting an portable scanner to carry and listen to at work, I’ll see if those AirportPolice are as busy as they say they are.
When I first started theAirport work I did meet one nice female officer, she talked with me all shift and helped direct traffic too!
And she was friendly, almost flirty and playfully punched my arm. But afterwards she’s been silent and when she’s had to speak with me she’s a real asshole. Dismisses me.
Even a few other AirportPolice Officers have at one time spoken to me, but they’re not nice at all. They act like its a major struggle to get out of their substation offices and come out to look at our untended vehicles we call in or the untended baggage we call in to Dispatch.
One AirportPolice approached me after I called in an UntendedVehicle and he got close to me in my face and gruffly said,
“are you contacting any of those people when they pull up?” and he left before I could answer him.
Was I supposed to run around like a chicken with my head cut off and say to everyone that pulls up and gets out of their vehicles. “Don’t leave your vehicles untended!!” etc??
I leave people alone and let them move bags etc unless they really need help. I don’t like that one male Officer or a few others like him that never said hi to me or spoke a kind word but gruffly stated something to me and left.
I say that if you don’t love your job and the Officers you meet each day. Get the hell out of uniform and go somewhere else.
After most of these current Officers all do their 20 or 30 yrs and then retire. I’ll still be wandering around, quietly, silently, concealed armed and always watching out for trouble.
They can go retire and move on in life, I’ll still be here.
I hate it Overall, when I see that kind of Mentality from theAirportPolice Officers, or from Anchorage PD, or from theStateTroopes I once knew and worshiped.
And I hate it when even my fellow Security Officers take this Public Safety Job lightly.
They think that it’s just a job and treat it as one would the donning and doffing of a garment, a jacket, a coat or shoes, pants. etc.
They’re not as vigilant as they should be, wander inside theTerminal and get coffee and gossip and stand outside and smoke with theSmoke booth people instead of walking the ramps.
yes, I too get cold and tired, and I duck inside the entry ways to warm up,
but you never see me heading to the coffee stands and to visit my friends and buddies away from the Ramp.
I drink water, use the restroom, warm up and then step back outside to visit with whomever crosses my Ramp and at times I even help move luggage or let Elderly and women with children leave a car to go inside.
I’m nice. too nice I guess. And besides, You Never SEE me and my Steamer & Cookie because I know how to hide in plain site!!
Also eating inside the toilet stalls and eating WWAAYY in back of the food court cafeteria helps.
The Shift Leads never go there, as they bring their food with them in thermos canisters and food containers.
I mean, after all, I’ve never been caught yet sleeping on duty because I’ve been trained by theStreets best!!
If you don’t believe me just drive by me on theRamp and WATCH my eyes. I may be standing in the middle lanes directing traffic but my eyes are closed.
It's just like me to really "Live the adage", it's calm in the eye of the storm. Calm because I'm often sleeping in mid traffic!
oh.. I joke.
Just don’t pull that One AirportChicks highlighted streaked ponytail or she’ll go ballistic on you!!
But to men like me, this job called me up here to Alaska.
It reached thousands of miles away to me and over the years it called to me.
Life put me through many experiences to get me here to Alaska and all along the way
my God and my Savior Jesus Christ did watch and did help, they both did guide and council.
In my personal life they did and still do Exist,
I am here and though I could be in a much better Agency environment doing more effective work with the Public.
I’m happy neverless and am glad to be here.
I do take responsibility for MY own and for YOUR safety,
as far as I can humanly do so, and I just wanted you all to know that.
If you can help me in this task then the world will be a much better,
happier safer place overall and that will just delay the inevitable....
when our Enemies Hit us Again and here in our own country, again and again..
And they will.
Time to finish this, go step outside theApt and see the stars at what is now, 0400hrs.
Time to sleep a few hours and enjoy my 3rd day off before I work another 4 days at 10hrs each!!
I’m theSam!! and that’s that.
Hello everyone. I’m theSam!! and I wanna be your Next Blog experience.
While chasing various Music experiences here in AngerRage
I find myself and my ‘lil Violin being drawn towards the sweet sounds of Country and Western.
I find that theFingers just want to be gentle and predictable.
Like a Steady strum of G, D7, Am, G, a quick C and back to G again and play over.
Or even to just break up about 4 chords and play each string over again and again. I like that.
Music has to come from within you, you have to feel a Melody and find a “Hook” and keep things simple.
In all seriousness I find that the old Hymns that I once heard as a Toddler while on the Reservation in South Dakota just sticks with me after all these years.
Ok ok, maybe I like a little “Thine Eyes Bleed”, “Arch Angel”, “Betsy”, some Voivod and early Judas Priest now and then.
I’ve always been a little rogue at times. A little vogue and almost always so Very Very vague.
Being Public Safety out in the middle of nowhere just isn’t suited for a Pat Boon or Mel Bay mindset sometimes.
Because when you have to change your personality from Barney Fife to Killer in a second while dealing with the Criminal element, music of a boisterous nature helps.
But I digress from my sleepy little diatribe.
Our small community still has a small church next to our family cemetary.
And a large swinging gate still guards entrance to the burial grounds.
And even though it’s just a cemetary and a gate is just a gate.
To me that is a sacred place. It is a place of Honor where my family, my People go after they die.
We lay their bodies to rest but for a short time.
Warriors lie there, and Women too.
For women have Creation powers and have such strong spirits and more potential than perhaps us Men.
And the title of Woman, to me is a great thing.
But some people, including Women, probably don’t care about my beliefs and my ideals. That’s ok.
I know those humble people that rest there in the Community cemetary.
I have seen them while my toddler feet ran amongst their graves almost 39 yrs ago.
As a child I used to toddle around the graves and “visit everyone“.
I would want the Cemetary gate to always be closed or else “all the Ghosts would get loose and run away!!”
Other times I wanted the gate to be open so everyone of the Sleeping people could get up,
out of their graves “and run around like me“, and play for awhile.
Aren’t children wondeful? They’re so innocent and pure. I was like that once, and in some ways I still am.
Because I haven’t lost touch with those precious memories that helped make me ME.
I haven’t lost my Language, my Roots, my Home and my Sense of Purpose here on earth.
I may have strayed a bit from what I once knew, but in all earnestness,
I went into the Darkness because I carried the Light and did help find Others.
For a time I did help those people that needed it.
Like my Church Mission field experience long ago.
While sitting around a small hot campfire in the dead of winter
us young Missionaries looked up at the sky and talked with each other.
A few glowing coals were poked and prodded by one of us, and then were flung out into the Darkness where they glowed quietly, to slowly go cold, except for one coal.
One ember that still glowed.
I wanted to be that Ember, to be in the darkness and glow. To light the way, to be seen by others.
And many years later, I found that I was that tiny burning piece of wood that held light. Held warmth for others.
And like fire, this little light of mine gets picked up, handled roughly and I burn people!!
I’m not young and idealistic anymore although, everyone should be such things when they are young. In my old age of almost "40", I have to be handled with care.
Now I Know what I See, and Believe what I See and still place Faith in what I once believed.
This quiet acceptance of self and sadly, of Others keeps me away from most people.
But let’s not digress too much here.
Long ago my tiny ears first heard the Old gospel hymns,
the old songs and accompanying guitars from musicians.
It’s my time to now become one of those musicians and play for other people.
And lately I find myself going back to the local Native hospitals and listening to those gospel music stalwarts that are already lifetimes ahead of me in musical ability.
But I will one day join them with my guitar, my key board and with MsKittie my Violin.
I seek out the Old tunes Online and in book shop and music store and have bought a couple of hymnals as well
Just last night as I practiced Violin I stopped playing the A and D scales and started playing By Ear, an LDS favorite hymn. A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.
In the LDS hymn book there are 9 or 10 verses to that song.
But I could only manage playing 5 verses before I quit. I was too moved by the Song to continue anymore.
But in my amateur squeakings on the Violin when the fingerboard just vibrates fully
and the Bow hair grips the strings just right when I play, then I know I’m getting there.
Into the groove as it were.
Even in Public Safety, after practicing with a steel telescoping baton on a large body pad
held by a partner or even when solo and drawing and stroking and then scabbarding theWeapon,
When time comes to actually use the Baton to defend yourself, etc.
The steel actually feels like it comes to life in your hands.
And you know that you’ve done right by practice and more importantly,
By visual imagery, by mentally going through the motions,
which is what I pretty much do with everything I do.
Like a recent action movie “theHunted” touts.
The physical part is easy, learning when to turn it off is the hard part.
I’m glad that I still cringe inwardly at unpleasant things.
I’m glad that anger and sadness, hate, jealousy and strife still scare me. And sin still scares me.
Such feelings are my internal barometer.
I will run to gunfire, run to emergency’s, but my internal barometer, as it were, still guides me.
I haven’t lost myself here in Alaska. I haven’t put my previous talents and abilities aside.
My God threw me into the darkness because I have a light that still burns.
And for now, by a resurgence, a renewed interest in music I will once again find others.
Here in Alaska I Found my self, my whole life has prepared me for here, for Now, and for what yet lies ahead.
Please, pardon my black humor. You have to be here to understand.
You have to know that a comment on the outward world condition
is also an equal comment upon the inward condition or potential condition.
The physicians of this world say, Physician-heal thy self!!
I say, Officer-Police thy self!!
Tell the world what you’ve seen and experienced and temper it with some humor at least.
Great Village Gospel Songs & Himz!!
I Am Thine O Lord
(and theStates for 99yrs plus Life!!)
When the Battles Over
(I hope that Officer fell!!)
He Hideth My Soul
(and I hideth my Stash!!)
(and he hideth my wife and kids from me sometimes too at theVillage safe house)
Close To Thee!!
(and as far from Him as I can get)
Since Jesus Passed By
(but that Sam!! is still tracking me, looking at every twig and tuft of grass!!!)
Leaning On The Everlasting Arms
(of my Cousins, or is it my brother?? I’m not sure which, I can’t see straight much less stagger left and right)
When the Savior Reached Down For Me
(he had a beard, but I squint my eyes and see that it’s just Sam!! and he has nose hairs instead.
Tweeze those suckers, you look like you got two kittens stuffed up your nose.....oh.
and Sam!! reached for me and pulled me out of my hiding place behind theSofa!!)
All Hail the Power
(of the Tazer, that damnable device.
I’d gladly sober up the rest of my life if I could only shoot Him with that infernal stun gun)
Sweet Hour of Prayer
(and then a Hard heavy hour of Metal, sniffing Coke
and drinking booze until those Officers broke into my house)
Mansion Over the Hilltop
(Lemmon Creek, Spring Creek, Matsu Pre Trial Facility, Fairbanks Correctional Center, etc.
or even the Big house in Arizona, it’s all the same to me)
Blessed Be the Name
(and cursed be theSam!! and all Public Safety rookies everywhere!!)
I’m Free
(at least for another few days, then I’ll get drunk, hit my girl,
speed my car and crash it and go back Inside)
In the Garden
(behind Grammas house where I hid for hours, but that darn Rookie wannabe found me)
Five Rows Back
(wow, 35 plus adults CAN fit in his holding cell if we all stand up straight and still)
This World Is Not My Home - I’m Just Passing Through
(and that Safety Officer says the same thing about my Village,
he’s just here for a few short months,
so why’s he hitting on my older cousin and looking after her and the 3 boys??)
There’s Something About That Name
(that damnable Sam!! I tell you, I can’t stand him... I hate him, he’s so annoying.)
When We All Get To Heaven
(we’ll all hope that theSam!! isn’t there, we’ll send him to hell and tell him to patrol that place.
“And take that stupid Violin with you too!!”)
When Morning Comes
(those Officers will be inside my house,
quietly bundling me up and carrying me outside and driving me away to Jail)
Heaven Came Down and Glory Filled My Soul
(But first he had to get heave his Village hunnies arms off him,
get dressed and then come down from his room then across theVillage to my Gramma’s home,
maybe it was hell and it was OC spray that filled my lungs.
They sprayed my house and stood outside waiting for me and my homies to run out)
He Touched Me!!
(and my cousin, my sister too, my Mother and my girlfriends.
Darn it, I wish they’d search us girls with the Palms of their hands and such, instead of using the backs of their hands.
And quit recording the searches with those video cameras and talking into their cassette recorders too.)
I’ll Fly Away
(with theState Troops again, and hopefully not ever on a plane that theSam!! is piloting.
Since he’s taking flight lessons and looking at getting theVillage a plane.)
After the Sun Rise
(I’ll still be safely tucked inside his Patrol vehicle, 4 hours to drive and I gotta pee!!!)
Leave It There
(they never listen to me. Just leave my stuff alone and quit searching my car, my house!!)
If It Keeps Getting Better
(than how Village life currently is, it’ll be when those officers are gone!!
Until then, life sucks, I hate myself and drink to escape reality and drug up to feel good. Reality bites.)
Joy Comes In the Morning
(I just love the smile on Sam!!’s face when he arrests me, at least I make him happy.
It’s my mission in life to make him happy and have a sense of divine purpose in my humble Village.)
He’s the Savior Of My Soul
(I meant “Sole”, when I got drunk, crashed my car and walked 10 miles on the icy Village road
I left my boots back at the crash site because I didn’t want to scuff them.
Amazingly I never damaged my feet from the frost bite and Sam!! retrieved my boots, my coat, my alcohol,
he at least gave me my pack of cigs lying in the snow.)
Jesus We Just Want to Thank You
(for getting that Officer out of our Village, now we can go back to drinking and preying upon each other.
My daughters boy friends can keep on beating them and my grandkids will go back to staying up late at night while everyone parties in the house and no one is here in theVillage to keep the peace.
I can hit my wife of 30 years and call her names all I want to because no one will be able to stop me when I drink and chase my family around with a knife or with a bat.
A Better Life
(Ha!!! that’s a good one)
No Tears In Heaven
(no beer either, Maybe that’s why. No drugs either, I think that’s a typo.....)
In the Shadow Of the Cross
(and in the shadow of theSafety!! and his helper in the Village and all their grapevine buddies that watch US)
The Old Rugged Cross
(man, he’s got a left hook as well. He took us all at once and we never touched him either.
My arm is broken from that Baton strike too.)
When I Survey the Wondrous Cross
(as well as do informal opinion polls upon my buddies to see if we can petition or gather to get
that Officer fired from his job and out of our Village!!
But he always has his cameras and his cassette recorders playing and he always tells us
to call the Council and to even contact his non Profit boss that hired him, after every contact with us via Arrests, Altercations, etc.)
Praise Him Now
(and Curse HIM always, darn officer)
Coming Again
(at least I was when they pulled me off the Girl.
They worked me over good and let her go. No one went to jail either. I didn’t walk right for a month.
Ten Thousand Angels
(couldn’t get theBottle from my hand much less get alcohol out of theVillage or theRegion.
So why’d they send out those various Officers anyhow?? But theSam!! really tries though)
Because He Lives
(it just chaps my ass and that of theCouncil that he’s here among us,
holding us to our local laws & ordnances even!!)
This Could Be the Dawning Of That Day
(when that damn Officer slips up and makes a mistake, gets fired.
And people wonder why some Villagers live so long!! It’s just that they cling to life in hopes of “that Day”)
Some Golden Day Break
(some kids took this tune and made into “Some Golden Jail Break”,
And after one young girl got creative with Lemmon and water spritzer one summer and highlighted her tresses and that of her friends, the tune was, “Some Golden Jail Bait” rrrrRRRwwwrrr!)
He Ransomed Me
(or at least my Vehicle, and that of half theVillage by impounding for $100 return plus $50 each additional day!!
Things like this is why theCouncil tolerates him, at times he makes $ for them)
When We See the Christ, it will be worth it all
(and when we see him drive OUT of theVillage with possessions in tow,
even if I’m on my death bed and have to crawl through Glass,
over hot coals along with crawling over half the passed out Village Council
and by the crib of my hungry crying grandsons and going through fire to get to the living room Window to see, it will be worth it!!)
Give Me Oil In My Lamp
(We’re sitting in theDark, cos theParty’s over,
at least for the time being when someone gets $ together and pays our utes and water bill to theCouncil.
Cos we’ve been drinking our $ away for most of the year and neglecting our bills and our children by not feeding them adequately and looking after them.
Shall We Gather At The River?
(for now, there’s nowhere else to run from those Officers.
wait. there’s that tiny parcel of land across from theGeneral store that we can hide in the trees.
quick everyone... Run!!)
Jesus Is the Friend of Sinners
(and theSam!! is the friend of theCute VillageChixxx!!
And no, you restaurant people. “Chix” to you may mean “Chicken strips or chicken basket dinner” but to theSam!! VC means so much more.
Bubblegumness and dumbidity all wrapped up inside a young girl that, for the most part,
hasn’t been abused and hasn’t imbibed or smoked enough to make her life choices to follow Village vice or NOT.
Besides, as a whole VillageChixxx are kinda hard to pin down, like a greased pig,
you can chase but you’ll never get a hold on it for long.
But there was that one time during theParty breakup when a bag of flour got thrown at theSam!! and everyone present got soaked in powder, then a bag of sugar got broken too,
and that sort of “Put a handle on things” for theSam!! as he was then able to grab a hold of theKids.)
(Sinners / Villagers are theFriend of Sam!!, especially around payday too,
then the smiles and hello’s all come out... *sigh*)
The Haven of Rest
(that was my friends house, and my relatives is No More.
Now that those Officers have pretty much been in the homes of everyone looking for me tonight.
Guess I’ll just retreat to that spot in theWoods west of theVillage barechested and no socks & shoes. Darn mosquitos.)
So Send I You
(my children to theLodge to play around and spy and tell me later what theSam!! is doing.
Is he sleeping?, who’s visiting him now?, Who?! wow, again!? uh huh.. and then who else?,
uh huh... ok, go play some more, this time stay outside and over by the sheds.
It’s almost 4 and you’ll all be going to swim anyway, be the first to get a ride with him in the back of his pickup.)
Where ever He Leads I’ll Go
(as if I had a choice right now, my hands are cuffed and my feet are shackled,
at least he brushed his teeth and,,*sniff-sniff* he took a shower too.
Darn uniform can literally stand up all by itself sometimes too. In a few months ,
when I get back to theVillage, I’ll remember to let him finish his laundry day before I beat my wife and kids.)
The Longer I Serve Him, the sweeter he grows
(ha ha... and that one time I had the car. The longer I swerved at him, the faster he ran!!
My friends & I at lockup kept ourselves sane that one winter as I told and retold that story every day too.
I didn’t know theSam!! could move so fast too, wearing those stupid rubber scuba booties in the dead of winter too.
I swear, if it wasn’t for theSam!! and his antics I’d be dead in jail, my stories keep me from getting raped and beaten sometimes.)
Let Me Touch Him
(with my fists, my feet and anything that can be used as a weapon upon him,
for being here in theVillage and taking away our alcohol & drugs and keeping the peace around here. Just let me at him!!)
Each Step of the Way, i’m following Jesus
(at least that’s what those Officers say sometimes, that “we’re your God now and we’ll take care of you”)
My God and I
(my Officer and I, on our way to theCity once again)
I’ve Been To Calvary
(in a Cavalier at one time, when that one Officer to theVillage had to use his car,
and then later on in a few pickups too, and finally when theVillage got theSam!! a Crown Victoria)
O Master, Let Me Walk With Thee
(I don’t wanna sit handcuffed in theCar while you look through theScene and find my Stash!!
Please, Officer, hear my plea!! At least turn down theMusic!!, I hate techno, please!!)
Jesus Loves Me
(and theSam!! tolerates my presence, much like I tolerate him too in theVillage!!)
He Whispers Sweet Peace To Me
(and he looks so handsome and I just love him to pieces!!
And then theDrugs wear off and he’s quietly sitting there finishing his reports.
Listening to his audio tapes and I hear that he was really getting after me for being at theParty
and ending up assaulted and I can’t believe that was me swearing so much and accusing him of hurting me.)
Praise Him! Praise Him!
(my son, my son, how he’s being lowered into theGround and you never stepped up to say something.
At least you’re not scooping a handful of dirt upon him like everyone else is. At least say something.
I always knew he was a murderer but he was First, my son, and now years later, he’s dead.
All those times you took him to jail and even had to protect yourself and me from him.
say something good about him, don’t just stand there quietly.
praise...... say someth....)
Don’t Turn Around To Things You Left Behind
sled dogs really do eat their waste, sometimes. And some Villagers do go back to their former life as they knew it.
It’s sad but true. And all those times when I left theVillage from 40miles away just before I’d cross over thePass,
I’d look back for one last moment. I’d go back to theWork, never again in that Village but elsewhere, because theWork is necessary, of keeping thePeace and of lifting people up out of their life and showing them that there’s more that they could be.
I still look back from time to time, and though at times, having indigestion and hiccuping
or having a small taste of bile rise up. It reminds me of that saying....
”don’t turn around to things you left behind”
Got Any Rivers?
(that we can run up or down on?
So we can get away from those Officers as they are now funded and equipped for summertime boating to access the lakes and rivers around theVillage!!)
I’ve A Home Beyond the River
(on a quiet island just this side of Fish camp that no one knows about!! tee hee hee, OH..
except for theCabin owners but they’re away for the summer.
Man, those people had lots of food, water, bedding, furnishings and even 4wheelers!
We used the gas from the boats and the snowmachines to gas up our outboard. ha ha)
He Is Coming Soon!
(that’s what my kids tell me, see, to the average eyes people might see my kids playing in the street, but to me.
When my 6yr old tugs on his cap and then hits his little brother that tells me that theVPO / village police officer is coming.
But when I see my 8yr old scoop his cap off and drop it, Cos theSam!!
doesn’t wear any head gear except for a stocking cap in winter, then that means theSam!! is near.)
Have Thine Own Way, Lord
(and you too Village Council, and theSam!! and anyone else that thinks that their Sober ways of life are better for me than my own Inebriate, wasteful living is. Go on, have it your way!)
There Is Power In the Blood
(ha!! but hardly any left in that Nissan.
At least until he stopped on the road, let his engine cool off
and then fixed the broken fan belt and theAlternator belt in the dead of night.
We got passed him, didn’t stop, but he never looked anyway.
Darn it. we sure wish that at times, he needed us like we need him)
Blessed Assurance
(and blessed insurance as well.
As after stopping us on a lark, theSam!! was looking for “extra’s to ticket us with
and we had updated car insurance too. ha ha. he let us go.
At least for that night,)
Jesus Is All the World To Me
(and at least 3 times a week for a few hours,
So is theSam!! he’s my everything. He brings me water, feeds me,
watches me and even plays techno music for me while we wait in his Office for State Troop transport.)
Will There Be Any Stars?
(when he strikes my head with that padded & taped up steel pipe?
Will there be any pain when he smites me with that baton after I attack him?
Will there be any contusions and bruising after....)
Where The Roses Never Fade
(pretty much that be anywhere but theVillage!! as theRoses / VillageChixxx!! fade sometimes during middle school.
Oh there’s the occasional early bloomer that starts to burn out in 3rd grade, but that’s very rare.
And just about during high school is the twilight years for theRoses!! They start to fade, they start to Sag, start to fatten out too and then they go downhill completely after that.
All except for theSam!!’s entourage, they stay eternally young and cute.
What with his salon help and insistance upon sobriety to be one ofHis!!)
That Glad Reunion Day
(in jail or prison with my relatives or homies,
Good to see you all again, yes it’s me. Me?!, assault IV, II and misconduct with a weapon,
attempted murder and misconduct with controlled substances, You?!)
The Promised Land
(that unseen area within YVC Inc (doh!!) where theVillages dwell without any VPSO / VPO or State Troop of any kind!
A haven away from all things lawful and no one looking over our shoulders to keep us inline and to keep our good relatives safe from us. We keep looking for that place, we know it exists.
A land flowing with Milk from our rape victims breasts and free $ / money too!!
All given to us without us working for it and there is no law.
We’re entitled to it after all, because we’re Natives and the world and our gov’t owes it to us from our birth day to our death day.
Wooo hooo!!! free ride!!
After
(Before, During and heck!! Even AFTER!!)
Jesus, I Believe What You Said
(just stop reading theCase Report back to me now that I’m sobering up.
I can’t believe I did all those things. Stop it, cut it out!!)
Touched By the Masters Love
(and touched by theOfficers Glove!! I can’t believe that theSam!! got those armored gloves.
They’re big, they’re hard and I don’t like being touched by them when he’s searching my pockets and body.)
Where Two or Three Are Gathered
(to drink, there be theSam!! too, or eventually at least.
But sometimes after theParty he is there to walk amongst us as we lay on theGround / theFloor and crawl around in our stupor.
It’s the smart thing to do by letting us get incapacitated and filled with alcohol and drugs. turns out one time one winter all he did was watch us from afar and even came into our house after hours, we saw his scuba bootie prints in the snow.
OH.. and often Where Two or Three Officers are Gathered.... there be a Prisoner or two!!
or There be at least $15K combined upon their persons)
Over the Sunset Mountains
(we saw Sam!! fly his rented plane, as he’s learning to fly and that scares a few of theBootleggers, as they have a friend that flies booze and drugs into theVillage.
and because theSam!! brought those FlightServices People into theVillage
and let our kids fly for free and even operate theControls of thePlane once it was airborne,
“over theSunset mountains...flies my kids!!)
I Love to Tell the Story
(of how theSam!! got his VillageCouncil loaned snow-machine stuck in theWillow trees.
That dumbass can’t even drive! And there’s the other time when he got theCouncil loaned pickup stuck, oh wait..
That other officer got it stuck during that one Winter Carnival week when TWO officers were in theVillage, doh well.
At least it was theSam!! that wrecked his patrol car after sliding off theIcy road. ha ha ha.....idiot.
And then that one time when he...)
In The Upper Room
(in theLodge is where he rests. And where theKids go to visit,
And where pretty much everyone else can go to summon him to their emergencys. I hate that place, though I might work in theLodge and have to look down theHall at thatInfernal place of refuge for some people.
I hate to admit that even I have been there too. Many times, that’s the safest place in the whole village!!)
Just A Closer Walk With Thee
(Sam!!, can you hold my elbow tighter and perhaps, hold me with both arms so I “wont run away”?
I’m cuffed and shackled and I don’t see how I’m going anywhere....
I mean, it’s just a few steps to theBathroom and....)
Workers Together With God
(eerrr.... I mean. with theSam!! since he’s theVillageCouncil appointed Village Service worker oversight, theBoss of us during the summer months and at times, even during theWinter too!!
And people don’t think we Villagers ever work either, now would be a great time for picture taking but as usual, HE just stands there and doesn’t waste his Mavica time on us Nebes and other troublemakers.
guess we’re not cute enough or something...)
They That Sow In Tears, shall reap in joy
(this Hymn was sponsored by, written by and endorsed since Time Immemorial by every VillageChixxx!! that ever lived, especially the really cute ones that just bared enough Shoulder and bossom.
That lowered theJeans just so and had the right amount of midriff and back showing.
And to close theDeal, had their long hair up just right and a light dusting of makeup on their fresh faces batting their lush lashes as they asked, begged for Leniency, clemency, financial help, protection, mercy and the occasional loan too.
Oh man..... *bites hand*)
The Lily Of the Valley
(this is the respectful way of saying “Village Diva!!”,
which is a different breed of Villager, entirely, utterly and completely.
A VillageChixxx!! / village chick is a cute hot female or at least WAS at one time but a VillageDiva can be a VillageChixxx!! or can be a Man too.
Trust me, every “valley” has not ONE or two hundred of these Lillies, but literally thousands. You can’t get away from them, at times they’re worse than any gripings and complainings given to any Officer by theFemales.
They can gripe about anything you do for them, gripe and complain about anything you might ask or suggest. They make snide comments to you all the time when you speak to them.
Lillies bloom year round and never wilt because from the start they ARE wilted and shriveled, stunted and ugly inside, mean in spirit and are not kind.
I’ve met many of these Lillies during my times in theVillages!!
They won’t help watch kids, they won’t help haul heating oil for their relatives, they won’t feed their relatives but will instead eat first and then go home to sleep. You ask them to scoop snow or plow and they say they’re not a Charity for you.
Sadly, every valley in Alaska will never be rid of these Lillies. Much like drugs, alcohol and dysfunctional living they’re here to stay too. So just accept it and never let them bother you.
Blessed Jesus Loves You Too
(I always say in return when I get theFinger from my Villagers.
It’s their way of blessing you and saying how much they care and then the occasional Villager will completely mess up their life by getting injured, crippled or later die and I say.
Jesus loves you too and wants you to have aaallll this time in hospital or in the wheel chair or that He called you home to be with him. yes, my villagers. theSam!! loves you too, now get over it)
His name Is Wonderful
(at least that’s what he calls himself, but others call theSam!! by other names and monikers too.
None of which we will repeat here, except to say that some rhyme with “astard”, “ucker”, “spit head”, “cupid” etc.
And moving on......)
When They Ring the Golden Bells
(we can only hope they’ve strung him up to “remove” his balls!!)
Brighten the Corner Where You Are
(in the Holding cell by using your zippo lighter that theOfficer overlooked in patdown search.
Or you can brighten your corner of the holding cell by adding a golden splash of urinal color!!
Just be sure to wear an absorbant T-shirt or overshirt because before you leave theHoldingCell,
you will get used as a quick-Mop to clean up your corner!!)
We’re Marching to Zion
(by marching round theVillage in unison and waving religious banners and making a religious scene.
Little did we know that we were challenging theDarkness and in doing so we helped baptize our new VPSO into his profession that summer with the various Gun calls, theAssaults, theSex assaults at the drunken parties and with theEndless DVE’s upon our daughters from their boyfriends and husbands.
But in doing so we also rallied theArmies of heaven to help us in our hour of need and to also help our Officer in his job.
And he did his job ever after and will do so for eternity. God bless us all as we march to zion.)
Without Him
(yes.. Exactly!!! That’s what this Village needs, is to be without Him!!
And just after we got rid of the other Officers too, and subsequently got rid of the other officers that came after Sam!! left.
I Am Resolved
(to do all I can to get rid of this pesky Officer. he does his job and never lets local leaders intimidate him or sway him.
Even after we hired help for him and thought that would alleviate his work load, give him time off etc.
OH.. and I am also absolved of all things held against me, those stupid reports and the charges brought against me. Completely ludicrous!!
I don’t understand how people like that can live, always expecting us Drinkers and criminals to behave and leave our families alone.
I thought that life in theVillage was suppose to be fun, and one big party.
When I’ve Traveled My Last Mile, he’ll hold my hand
(as he pulls me from my car kicking and screaming, he’ll hold my hands behind my back and cuff me,
he’ll hold my arms and guide me as he walks beside me back to his patrol vehicle and there I’ll sit as he confiscates my drugs and empties out my alcohol in front of me,
I’ll watch his Onscreen antics as he stands before his dash-board videocam and record all of the events.)
Love Lifted Me
(love,, or is it lee?? I can’t recall his middle name. But he did lift me....
Right out from behind my aunties Sofa. darn birthday parties,
oh.. sorry, that’s my little nephew that theVillage was gathered there for. Next time I won’t drink so much Vodka, as that is what theVPSO could smell strongest over theMoose stew and black bear meat.
That and my one cousin’s sweet perfume and her menstrual cycle too.
At least that’s what he said, among other babble as he drove me to jail later that day.
The Eastern Gate
(is no more. cos that darn officer and his carload of Village hunnies done crashed theGarden!! ha ha ha ... it was funny to see them driving around.
See, at times when he’d drive around theVillage some girls would hop in and ride around. And get this.... theEastern garden gate is on theWest side of Grammas house.
And the street that theCop was driving on is on theEAST side of theHouse. hah hah ha ha ha ha ha.. idiot driver.
And his office lights were on all night too as he sat in front of that dumb computer typing.)
Since Jesus Came Into My Heart
(theSam!! came into my home, my room looking for my cousins and their friends.
At least that’s what I heard, I dunno though, I’m here in Arizona for another 10 yrs.
I got nothing else to do now but get religion.
Send the Light
(but make it a Bud Light!! please.
No, no no. Keep theSam!! and his SureFire light away from me. darn little tiny light hurts my eyes.
Blinded me for a few minutes too. And for sure, keep that darn D cell maglight away from me too, using that as a weapon upon my noggin after I swung at him too.
Just send anything but theSam!! to me.
He’s the One!
(that touched me with his Armored Gloves!!,
he’s theOne that Violated my person by searching my shirt and pants for theCoke I smuggled to theVillage!!
he’s theOne that said all those mean things about me in that report and lied to theJudge and Prosecutor about me and my boyfriend.
he’s theOne that responded to my DVE / domestic violence event and chased away my boyfriend,
he’s theOne that kept my baby safe for a few hours by watching him and feeding him.
He’s theOne that later on kept my baby from my cousin as she was too drunk and sick to care for my son at theRiver, after I was at home passed out from drinking.
He’s theOne that kept my cousin and her friend safe at Grammas house from a local sex predator while my cousins mother drove out to theVillage to retrieve her and take her back to theCity. yes,,
he’s theOne your honor,
God,
humanity,
he’s theOne.
Kneel At the Cross
Personally I’m not about visual reminders of pain and misery. But to look at a crucifix is somewhat discouraging and yet it does lift me up too.
As one time in theVillage. I met a young Russian lad that had somehow found his way to our Village over 300road miles away from theCity!!
And this young Russian man had a soft Executive type briefcase with him that was literally stuffed with religious artwork.
Expensive looking, multicolored lithography of various religious scenes. I liked the print of theSavior standing arms outspread in a welcoming gesture and theCross was behind him.
And in script font to the side of the picture read something like; “he showed me how much he loved my by spreading his arms and dying....”
So I bought that print for $20!! I say it with an exclamation point because if you look at the young Russian man. He’s got a brief case full of $20 prints and the bundle was at least 8” thick.
And if you do theMath, at $20 a print you’d see that by the time this young man left all of theVillages up and down theRiver from where I was at that time, he’d have at least $6K with him. He must have been armed and trained for confrontation like I was at that time too.
But, I took one of his prints and handed him a $20 like nothing and I kept that tacked to my office wall. It was my reminder that for me Way out in theVillages doing the sacred work of Public Safety.
That I needed a shoulder to lean on, and not just my Non profit boss or my State Troop Oversight either.
I needed a divine helping hand in theWork that I chose THEN and still choose NOW to do.
The Last Mile Of the Way
(hee hee hee, Little does anyone know that my day to day conversations to my Village friends and drinking relatives are just the passing of Cryptic messages.
For instance, talking of High-Bush berry recipes and adding various amounts of sugar and yeast is just a way of saying that I hid my alcohol shipment on the 2nd mile of where theBlue bushes grow along theHighway and that whomever I’m speaking too needs to buy sugar and someone else needs to get yeast and vanilla. Cool huh?!
And that is how you talk to your friends in theVillage!! just talk of anything.
Heck, you can even talk to theVPSO in Council meetings and he won’t know that as he follows theCouncil List Agenda on various items we discuss,
theMessage is right before his beady close set Four eyes and he doesn’t even know it?! What a fool!
That is until that first summer of his employment, then he started to sneak around in theWoods and put two and two together and by keeping field notes and even listening in on theAlcohol fueled babble of many prisoners in his custody he figured things out. But he didn’t tell,
He never let on at all. Just acted dumb and dutifully did his job and “responded” to our emergencies.
*sigh*
Take the Name Of Jesus With You
(when you leave theVillage, and that stupid horse you rode in on too!!
Because if we Natives were serious about fighting alcohol and drug abuse we’d take such matters into our hands and without State interference or Funds we’d completely wipe out this Scourge that afflicts us.
We then wouldn't need special visits from theGov and other dignitaries and we wouldn't need funding and programs, because we hold the power to heal ourselves.
But we don’t want control of our future and we don’t want to lose our “victim” status in our eyes and the eyes of theWorld.
We want others to feel sorry for us and to “help” us, in other words, to enable us and burden us with more gov’t programs that are supposed to help us but in the long run really hurt us and take our freedoms away.
So take your white god with you when you go because we really don’t need him here with us...
Or do we?!
February 2007
Lately as I work and then spend my off duty time at theEnclave in Mtn View sleeping. I take time to practice my Violin that I bought.
I also have brought out my cheapo beat up Guitar that I got from the Pawn shop and of course, my keyboard that I got when I was VPSO long ago.
I play and practice on all 3 instruments more and my finger callouses even have callouses!!
Here In Anchorage I’ve worked for 3 security companies.
I’ve watched theParking Garages downtown, I’ve walked theMalls and the streets too.
I’ve driven a patrol route and have been stationed at hospices and hospital sites too.
And the common denominator for all the work I’ve done, or in terms of Clients-has been theInfirm.
theNatives, theElderly, theInebriate, those too sick and too homeless, hopeless to take care of themselves.
I suppose I could be safely tucked away behind an AnchoragePolice uniform or other Agency but I am here in the private security sector.
My duties are not to detain, not to arrest, not to write state documents and charge people.
My duties are to help. My duties are to summon aid and when necessary, to give aid and comfort.
It sickens me to see that a few Elders / Old people on the street are cast off from their familys.
Recently I attended a religious revival at a local hotel, it was held inside a small conference room building and was a great experience to be among energetic Native peoples all filled with enthusiasm for celebrating and worshiping theLord God as they saw fit to do.
And the key evangelist, Gary Simple, a man I had met years earlier while I was out in theVillages was headlining theEvent.
His friends played guitar and the band took us audience through several religious songs before the evangelist Gary got up and took the microphone.
I think it’s great that good people like him are preaching religion and helping theNatives get closer to God, closer to salvation and of getting Sober.
Getting away from drugs, alcohol and sinful living.
I certainly wouldn’t be here today if some religious people didn’t find my little family in South Dakota many years ago.
And I wouldn’t be here if I had not chosen to accept religion into my life, into my heart and then after Internalizing it for many years.
Did go out and be a Missionary for MY church theMormons.
Now years later, after having failed at my task to settle down and into Mormon life and marry a good girl and have kids and work steady I found myself on the streets of Seattle.
After a few months I was granted an opportunity to come to Alaska and I have never been the same since. My life certainly took a turn for the better.
My life experiences certainly prepared me for the taking of theMantle of Village Public Safety and later on, Public Safety at Large.
The overall experiences of looking into the hearts of each man, woman and child I meet on a daily basis and for a moment I do see, I glimpse a part of them and I do judge.
For in my Alaska Village Public Safety experiences I made a solemn vow that I would accept,
I WOULD ACCEPT, responsibility for Other Peoples Lives!
and in doing so, to a degree I do accept responsibility for other peoples mistakes and will accept, as much as I can, the consequences for their actions as they relate to my job I do here.
Not very many men or women do make a stand and state such things, but then again.
Just look at every Soldier, Airman, Sailor and Marine on duty today.
Just look at your local Law Enforcement and your other Corrections Officers too.
Look at those that drive buses, those that take the Big rigs full of Food, clothing, equipment and other items Interstate for us.
Just look at our school teachers and other Public Officials and you’ll see that they too, for the most part, publicly stand and do declare their acceptance for other people’s lives and safety.
so, I Samuel Lee Flyinghorse, security officer, do not stand alone in this task.
Recently I visited some military sites on the Internet and then went back to the SCARS . com sites and back to the Target Focus Training Group sites that I enjoy and I read of various safety programs put into place and being offered to the public.
Safety programs that teach along the subjects of self defense and yet, it’s so much more than just “self-defense”.
SCARS and TFT also helped change my life and by following “their Ways” I have evolved into a much better man overall.
I ascribe to scars and tft because they aren’t ordinary every day martial arts. They are centuries beyond martial arts, that for the most part, is still stranded in the 17th, 16 centuries and even before that.
And God Bless the creators of such effective safety programs and fighting programs as these scars & tft. I cannot say enough good things about them. I ascribe to them because they lay out the cold hard truth of human control.
That we as people need to look at Other people and learn from that, to train from there and to take our own Personal Safety into our hands and not rely upon Other people to protect us.
But these and other great programs are of Man.
Lately I have been drawn by my music searches, back to my Mormon roots and I finger my Violin to the LDS tunes and slowly discover how to play hymns I hold dear.
Sacred music that honors my God and my Savior. Tunes that lifted my sad heart many times and tunes that, celebrate Pioneer heritage and the overall Integrity and Character that was evident in the making of our great nation and of our fledgling LDS religion too.
Under it all, my heart and spirit yearn for the God I once knew.
But understand that in my new life here in Alaska, I did step away from my church and from my goodly past for a bit.
God my Father and Jesus Christ my Savior never stepped away from me, they never left,
they’re still where they are and they await my return in Heart, Mind, Spirit and Body back to them.
For now, Public Safety is my Wife, my Bride, my love and my Life right now.
She is a terrible, terrible Jealous mistress and is very protective of my time and my commitments.
For in belonging to her I belong to Everyone.
I will not forget the feelings that I once had for my beloved Villagers. I cannot forget the dysfunction,
I cannot forget theBloody scenes I saw, I cannot forget theTurmoil and Strife I was immersed in Out There.
It haunts my sleep and invades my waking hours.
My eyes still see, my ears still hear,
and at times I do speak to old scenes long past and done with-out loud to no one in particular.
This is my Calling, this is my Curse and my Blessing too.
I accept it, and in doing so I do foresee my Eternal Path.
It will be one of great responsibility and the wielding of God’s power.
For I know that according to my faith, that if I never eternally marry and have posterity,
that my path in the Eternities will still be great and fulfilling.
Long ago I accepted these things.
For, as history records in the Bible and other sacred text.
Who do you think that the various Angels that God sent to Test, to Wrestle with, to Warn,
to Destroy and Work wonders really were?
Do you think they were just randomly pulled from Gods legions of Angels
or were they all learned men at one time?
Men who had proven themselves, perhaps in uniform somewhere,
and grew into beings of great Integrity and firm Resolve.
For as much as it sounds funny to take people into custody and struggle with them.
It doesn’t feel funny to even strike or Tazer, to hurt others and detain them.
And I don’t even want to think of how taking life feels, but at times,
I come close to feeling such when my God lets me feel a twinge of such pain and then takes it away.
It does take resolve to do unpleasant things and especially to another human being.
And I have such unflinching resolve. Because I believe that I am strong enough to do this.
To shut yourself off and put all feelings aside and do what is required is a learned response,
an acquired taste if you will. But one with heavy consequences too.
Public Safety is my life right now, and I will move on within it’s scope of practice.
For each day here in theCity, do I arm myself.
Do I go out with the knowledge that I may never come back to my little messy Apartment.
Our society is getting worse each day and every day someone assaults another person,
each day someone dies and each day we get closer to theAbyss by sprinting faster!
I hate it with a purple passion!! how I, or other of my current Security Officers in the company I currently work for, may need help from our AirportPolice and we get treated lightly.
And it may take several minutes for a response to our need. And yet when ever I’ve had an Inebriate or any other harmless transient onsite causing suspicion you can’t keep theAirportPolice away!!
They dance through theDoors, they emerge NavySEAL style from theWater puddles,
they appear out of camoflauge hiding from theWalls and they spider-crawl, rope down from the roofs and surround us.
And what I thought were just people waiting curbside for arrivals of their loved ones were really Officers under cover!! It goes on and on.
One day I walked past the small trash cans, they stand 18" wide, 3' tall and are in the Smoker booths, One of these cans sneezed!!! Give me a break!!
And at distant roof tops, you can see small black dots appear and just feel theSniperScopes upon your head.
They need to get their priorities straight.
One day recently I saw two Native Inebriates wandering around theAirport.
Hours later they were still there and even though they wanted to ride the bus away they kept missing the bus to downtown.
So I finally find them and we walk together to the bus stop and Another young man approaches me and says “Look”
I look and there at the bus stop is a Native male, passed out or else sleeping on the bench.
And with our recent winter temps hovering around Zero degrees F. The skin chills and gets cold outside, I certainly was cold that day at work.
And I notify Dispatch of theInebriate sleeping on the bench. Please call theCommunity service Patrol van for pickup.
No he’s not responding, no, yes he’s breathing. He’s intoxicated. he’s cold to touch, Wait, he’s stirring, He can’t get up.
The Police want to know Who, What, Where, When Why and if the man took his coffee with one lump or two before they would send help.
They also wanted to know his breakfast and bra size!!
Sorry, I’m watching GI Jane on tv as I type this. See how much thought I put into this Blog of mine!?
I pulled my cell phone off my outer jacket to dial city 9-1-1 but an Officer was approaching.
She was a fine physical specimen, doing one armed pushups and had a shorn head.. oops
Sorry,
theOfficer approached and spoke with the three Native men I was with, and at that time, theAirportSwatTeam made it’s entrance.
Flashbangs to the Left, Claymores to theRight and some human spiders coming over the Top Ramps while a few Officers emerged from the Man hole at my feet, Lifting me off theGround bytheWay, and a few cars screeching to a stop nearby.
I quietly gestured with One hand “my Love” for thePolice towards the area where I felt theSniper Scopes covering me.
Half the time we Officers at the Airport just call in Unattended Cars as directed, no biggie.
But we do the job and if that’s all the job sometimes is, when we get less than timely response then we have to wonder what the AirportPolice really think of us.
But in another paycheck or so I’m getting an portable scanner to carry and listen to at work, I’ll see if those AirportPolice are as busy as they say they are.
When I first started theAirport work I did meet one nice female officer, she talked with me all shift and helped direct traffic too!
And she was friendly, almost flirty and playfully punched my arm. But afterwards she’s been silent and when she’s had to speak with me she’s a real asshole. Dismisses me.
Even a few other AirportPolice Officers have at one time spoken to me, but they’re not nice at all. They act like its a major struggle to get out of their substation offices and come out to look at our untended vehicles we call in or the untended baggage we call in to Dispatch.
One AirportPolice approached me after I called in an UntendedVehicle and he got close to me in my face and gruffly said,
“are you contacting any of those people when they pull up?” and he left before I could answer him.
Was I supposed to run around like a chicken with my head cut off and say to everyone that pulls up and gets out of their vehicles. “Don’t leave your vehicles untended!!” etc??
I leave people alone and let them move bags etc unless they really need help. I don’t like that one male Officer or a few others like him that never said hi to me or spoke a kind word but gruffly stated something to me and left.
I say that if you don’t love your job and the Officers you meet each day. Get the hell out of uniform and go somewhere else.
After most of these current Officers all do their 20 or 30 yrs and then retire. I’ll still be wandering around, quietly, silently, concealed armed and always watching out for trouble.
They can go retire and move on in life, I’ll still be here.
I hate it Overall, when I see that kind of Mentality from theAirportPolice Officers, or from Anchorage PD, or from theStateTroopes I once knew and worshiped.
And I hate it when even my fellow Security Officers take this Public Safety Job lightly.
They think that it’s just a job and treat it as one would the donning and doffing of a garment, a jacket, a coat or shoes, pants. etc.
They’re not as vigilant as they should be, wander inside theTerminal and get coffee and gossip and stand outside and smoke with theSmoke booth people instead of walking the ramps.
yes, I too get cold and tired, and I duck inside the entry ways to warm up,
but you never see me heading to the coffee stands and to visit my friends and buddies away from the Ramp.
I drink water, use the restroom, warm up and then step back outside to visit with whomever crosses my Ramp and at times I even help move luggage or let Elderly and women with children leave a car to go inside.
I’m nice. too nice I guess. And besides, You Never SEE me and my Steamer & Cookie because I know how to hide in plain site!!
Also eating inside the toilet stalls and eating WWAAYY in back of the food court cafeteria helps.
The Shift Leads never go there, as they bring their food with them in thermos canisters and food containers.
I mean, after all, I’ve never been caught yet sleeping on duty because I’ve been trained by theStreets best!!
If you don’t believe me just drive by me on theRamp and WATCH my eyes. I may be standing in the middle lanes directing traffic but my eyes are closed.
It's just like me to really "Live the adage", it's calm in the eye of the storm. Calm because I'm often sleeping in mid traffic!
oh.. I joke.
Just don’t pull that One AirportChicks highlighted streaked ponytail or she’ll go ballistic on you!!
But to men like me, this job called me up here to Alaska.
It reached thousands of miles away to me and over the years it called to me.
Life put me through many experiences to get me here to Alaska and all along the way
my God and my Savior Jesus Christ did watch and did help, they both did guide and council.
In my personal life they did and still do Exist,
I am here and though I could be in a much better Agency environment doing more effective work with the Public.
I’m happy neverless and am glad to be here.
I do take responsibility for MY own and for YOUR safety,
as far as I can humanly do so, and I just wanted you all to know that.
If you can help me in this task then the world will be a much better,
happier safer place overall and that will just delay the inevitable....
when our Enemies Hit us Again and here in our own country, again and again..
And they will.
Time to finish this, go step outside theApt and see the stars at what is now, 0400hrs.
Time to sleep a few hours and enjoy my 3rd day off before I work another 4 days at 10hrs each!!
I’m theSam!! and that’s that.
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