Stand Up Sam!!
sam!! stands up while sitting down.
-this months Soldier is...
the soldier: theSam!! =:o) We'd interview someone more important but everyone else is currently out on Patrol or at checkPoint!!
sleeping out of:
tehMWR tent, actually I sit down in the bunkers next to theMWR Rec tent stare off at theHorizon and get accused of falling asleep by Sgts.
women tend to be excited by my:
absence from their presence.
my infomercial would sell:
packaged mediocrity to masses lower on humanity scale than thePeopleOfWalmert
one thing people say that stirs up an instant desire to throw a punch:
who cut your hair? (I often do)
if i were a ninja, i would:
trade my sword & throwing star in for an m-249 beltfed machinegun and an MRAP. Who needs to sneak around and be subtle these days?
worst humiliation ever suffered:
prostate exam by hotCougar at MEPS in Anchorage before reEnlisting into tehArmeh!!
fans recognize me by:
my resemblance to my facebook profilePic, It's theChubbyChins ya' know!!
mortal enemy:
Stoli Vodka!! each full bottle is an enemy soldier that I must leave dead!! I just love their cute battle formations on thePackageStore shelves.
favorite pickup line:
Are you gonna eat that? (at DFAC cos women don't care much about fitness and the men become obsessive about food & their weight)
2nd fave line is, I keep forgetting your CHU location when I write your name on LatrineWalls, what was it again?
bicycle, tricycle, automobile or a bowLegged pony on a ferris wheel:
probly a bicycle cos everyone lovs a live crash&burn with a real live clown!!
hospitalCorners or fittedSheets:
fitted sheets inside my sleeping bag but lately in this oppressive Iraq summer heat I sleep on my travel blanket the DeltaFlightAttendant let me keep.
most memorable moment on theFOB:
falling down on level ground in broad daylight by WagonWheel while walking. What kind of idiot falls down like that? Apparently one who later falls down same place at Night!!
most important questions to ask on faceBook:
Who are you & what are you doing in my friends list?
Helmets-to-Hardhats (construction trades) or Sgt stripes-to-GetAwayFromMePopoFistcuffSwipes:
probably SstGAFMPFS cos as a PFC the TearDrop on your uniform actually stands for the last drop of Alcohol in your 151Rum bottle that you'll be consuming decades after enlistment ends.
_________________________
WagonWheelVendorShopsProductsPromoted?
-HajiFilm: ever pitcher matters.
the HajiFilm mine pix digital IEDcamera is for sale in our fine shoppe at tehWhagginWheel on the FOB.
It might not shoot stunning pitchers of ugly Amrikan faces but it really blows weth just a hearty "Allah allu ahkbar" and a thumb press of theShutterButton.
Bury it somewhere and take pitchers of your hidden friends, no?
It's highly stylish wheth feeters to match yor internet soshal netwerkingg lifestyle like the 300meeters of iDet shutterButton activation wire, the3D HolograpicRedDot sight apperture and our favorite feater, theHajiFrames.
Where built in Turban, Beards and a pet Goat is superimposed on each photo. You just move the Camra till yor frenz face fills in under theTurban.
-HajiCaravan&Cars: buy from us then get out and PUSH!!
our new FOBfiestas are in!! theyre nott much but for you on Deployment its a perty big deel.
Theres a lot that yoo could get in your new FOB fiesta like a 5speed manual transmishin, bucket seats for your Amrikan asses, power steering and fuel efficiency but why bother?
This is deployment, your on theFOB and be glad you get a steering wheel and buckets to sit on.
Stop in and see us today at theWagonWheel, we're HajiCaravan&Cars, are Camels oar parked outside.....and our Donkeys are always running loose on the FOB!!
-HajiCamelBurgersKing: We always with hold the pickles and your lettuce!!
our hajiKing mascot is just like theAmrikanBergersKing, he's everywhere on FOB!! Cleaning toilets, hauling trash, at the helpDesks in the Gym, even here at WagonsWheel making your foods, like we make your camel burgers to order even when we run low on supplies and put out signs tat say,
"We arre verry sorry to announce that we do not have any more lettuce, tomatos, mayo, fries, Or apple pies (Sam!! bought all of them.... and our Pop too) please come again"
Try our feta cheese goat wrap!! Our goats eat the cheese, we kill them cook them and serve them to you on warm pita bread with lots of ice chai tea!!
For you sit own diners we invite you to our front guest room where you'll dine w/ one reluctant villageElder or a local iraqiPolice official and they'll refuse to speak to you!! Perfect for you Fobbits that used to Patrol and dine on Falafel, rotisserieChicken w/ unleaven bread and lamb kabob w/ spices.
_________________________________
-this months Soldier is...
the soldier: theSam!! =:o) We'd interview someone more important but everyone else is currently out on Patrol or at checkPoint!!
sleeping out of:
tehMWR tent, actually I sit down in the bunkers next to theMWR Rec tent stare off at theHorizon and get accused of falling asleep by Sgts.
women tend to be excited by my:
absence from their presence.
my infomercial would sell:
packaged mediocrity to masses lower on humanity scale than thePeopleOfWalmert
one thing people say that stirs up an instant desire to throw a punch:
who cut your hair? (I often do)
if i were a ninja, i would:
trade my sword & throwing star in for an m-249 beltfed machinegun and an MRAP. Who needs to sneak around and be subtle these days?
worst humiliation ever suffered:
prostate exam by hotCougar at MEPS in Anchorage before reEnlisting into tehArmeh!!
fans recognize me by:
my resemblance to my facebook profilePic, It's theChubbyChins ya' know!!
mortal enemy:
Stoli Vodka!! each full bottle is an enemy soldier that I must leave dead!! I just love their cute battle formations on thePackageStore shelves.
favorite pickup line:
Are you gonna eat that? (at DFAC cos women don't care much about fitness and the men become obsessive about food & their weight)
2nd fave line is, I keep forgetting your CHU location when I write your name on LatrineWalls, what was it again?
bicycle, tricycle, automobile or a bowLegged pony on a ferris wheel:
probly a bicycle cos everyone lovs a live crash&burn with a real live clown!!
hospitalCorners or fittedSheets:
fitted sheets inside my sleeping bag but lately in this oppressive Iraq summer heat I sleep on my travel blanket the DeltaFlightAttendant let me keep.
most memorable moment on theFOB:
falling down on level ground in broad daylight by WagonWheel while walking. What kind of idiot falls down like that? Apparently one who later falls down same place at Night!!
most important questions to ask on faceBook:
Who are you & what are you doing in my friends list?
Helmets-to-Hardhats (construction trades) or Sgt stripes-to-GetAwayFromMePopoFistcuffSwipes:
probably SstGAFMPFS cos as a PFC the TearDrop on your uniform actually stands for the last drop of Alcohol in your 151Rum bottle that you'll be consuming decades after enlistment ends.
_________________________
WagonWheelVendorShopsProductsPromoted?
-HajiFilm: ever pitcher matters.
the HajiFilm mine pix digital IEDcamera is for sale in our fine shoppe at tehWhagginWheel on the FOB.
It might not shoot stunning pitchers of ugly Amrikan faces but it really blows weth just a hearty "Allah allu ahkbar" and a thumb press of theShutterButton.
Bury it somewhere and take pitchers of your hidden friends, no?
It's highly stylish wheth feeters to match yor internet soshal netwerkingg lifestyle like the 300meeters of iDet shutterButton activation wire, the3D HolograpicRedDot sight apperture and our favorite feater, theHajiFrames.
Where built in Turban, Beards and a pet Goat is superimposed on each photo. You just move the Camra till yor frenz face fills in under theTurban.
-HajiCaravan&Cars: buy from us then get out and PUSH!!
our new FOBfiestas are in!! theyre nott much but for you on Deployment its a perty big deel.
Theres a lot that yoo could get in your new FOB fiesta like a 5speed manual transmishin, bucket seats for your Amrikan asses, power steering and fuel efficiency but why bother?
This is deployment, your on theFOB and be glad you get a steering wheel and buckets to sit on.
Stop in and see us today at theWagonWheel, we're HajiCaravan&Cars, are Camels oar parked outside.....and our Donkeys are always running loose on the FOB!!
-HajiCamelBurgersKing: We always with hold the pickles and your lettuce!!
our hajiKing mascot is just like theAmrikanBergersKing, he's everywhere on FOB!! Cleaning toilets, hauling trash, at the helpDesks in the Gym, even here at WagonsWheel making your foods, like we make your camel burgers to order even when we run low on supplies and put out signs tat say,
"We arre verry sorry to announce that we do not have any more lettuce, tomatos, mayo, fries, Or apple pies (Sam!! bought all of them.... and our Pop too) please come again"
Try our feta cheese goat wrap!! Our goats eat the cheese, we kill them cook them and serve them to you on warm pita bread with lots of ice chai tea!!
For you sit own diners we invite you to our front guest room where you'll dine w/ one reluctant villageElder or a local iraqiPolice official and they'll refuse to speak to you!! Perfect for you Fobbits that used to Patrol and dine on Falafel, rotisserieChicken w/ unleaven bread and lamb kabob w/ spices.
_________________________________
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