"Note to Self".......
do not attend the village turkey dinner this Thur 24 Nov.
Why?
Because we now have "fowl" running around in theWoods due to the fiasco that happened recently at the local "Annual Village Turkey shoot".
Typically our turkey shoot is trap shooting at Clay pigeons,but this year we were going to do something different.
I thought that we were going to shoot the Tribal Admin & Cronies.
When I voiced this aloud everyone just glared at me.
I wondered what we'd shoot at this year and a real live "Goobblle-gobblle!" greeted my ears. That was my answer.
Bill, theVillage trouble maker, let loose the first Turkey to run, and our current reigning Village Beauty-Tess, racked a shell into her shotgun, took aim and promptly broke a nail after theBoom!!
She dropped the shotgun right away and sprinted down theHighway to her friends Nail Shop & Esthetics Log-cabin for an $80 repair. Hmmm. considering all the happened next, Tess was the lucky one.
And Gramma, yes dangerous Gram from last year and the years previous, was next to shoot. No one had bothered to give her a mini safety class in weapons handling I see.
(Gramma grew up dog-mushing, snow-shoeing before she could walk, spent months out in theWoods half her life, she fought Bears and Wolves. Dunked herself 3 times in the River by accident-and still didn't know gun-safety to save her life).
She still waved the barrel of her Wingmaster magnum around and covered Everyone-including her unborn grandchildren-with a loaded chamber.
The snows are deep here in theVillage from the recent heavy snow-fall. We searched for 3 villagers that dived into theSnow running from Gramma's folly and we still haven't found them.
Poor Tom turkey was, by then, strutting around in front of everyone unharmed and shaking his red beard, gobbling angrily. His bald head was actually sweating!!
Mike, the dependable handyman, was next after Gramma stepped back to "fix" her shotgun.
"click". Nothing.
"rack-rack". Click. Nothing.
It was then that I saw, in my mind, this 18" feeder spring and plastic plug that pushes the shells out of the firearm SITTING at home next to the PC.
I had cleaned the shotgun before I left to attend the Turkey shoot and then Mike asked to use MY gun. "Ok."
Chagrined, I turned redder than Toms angry head & neck.
Tom still strutted, in fact he was now further away-Sprinting!!
The current police officer (a NON Native) just rolled his eyes then took shelter from theStorm inside his Patrol vehicle.
I should have taken a clue when he ducked into theBACK of theCruiser. That's where thePrisoner Cage is, heavy rollbars, padded doors and heavy duty seat belts.
I think theOfficer was the 2nd lucky one too next to Tess. Who by now, was blabbering uncontrollably to theVillage Nail techs about how she broke her $20 (a finger) nail.
(Lord knows how she runs to me blabbering about locking herself out of her new car or whenever she's in some kind of trouble. One time she was drunk, one time her cat died, another time her boyfriend left her) *sigh*
Suddenly a commotion stirred in the holding pickup where the other 6 Turkeys were being held.
The pickup belonged to Will theRetiree and it was a NICE pickup.
All shiny and with a new hardtop shell.
A big yellow beak punctured the back window easy as paper, then a big gray claw shot out grasping empty air. Turkey riot!
It was quite moving actually, to see the Turkeys vying for freedom. For one more day of life and off our dinner plates. Actually, as I think of all this mess. I'm glad THEY weren't armed.
The freed turkeys sprang out of the busted camper and bedlam broke out amongst us villagers.
18 villagers drove to the community center. 4 villagers drove away when the commotion settled.
6 cars and 2 pickups are now disabled or damaged. As everyone picked a "target" and opened fire upon the nearest frightened Turkey.
Only 1 (ONE!) Tom bit the dust and that was because Holly, theTribal Admin's Secretary / Gofer ran over the poor bird after panicking when the fire fight broke out and she instigated a mini demo derby trying to escape in her Bronco.
Whereas Tess freaks out when she breaks an artificial Nail. Holly freaks out when anything: hands, Wind, the light messes up her hair or even makes it look bad.
"Yes, I'll have a slice of breast with AP720 R6 treads please, No studs though. Easy on the hubcaps and hold the valve-stem cores."
I have to replace my windshield, my back window, my rear bumper, my tail lights and fix two tires. I dunno the extent of the damage to everyone else in detail.
*sigh*
I've managed to get dirty and ash covered every summer at least a few days straight and go out into theWoods to sneak around "the Hunted" style to touch theWildlife.
I've snuck up to theVillage Kids drinking and even made off with a jacket last summer (when taking breaks from thePrincess' security summer job. Hee hee.)
I've managed to get close to red fox and had caribou run past me. And my coveted prize is to get next to a moose with a rifle.
Now I can add "Turkey" to the mix. As 5 Toms are now strutting free around theVillage.
As for our annual Village Thanksgiving dinner that we hold at the Community Hall, I wonder if we'll eat pizza again this year like Last?
theSam!!
Your Village Called Inc.
Why?
Because we now have "fowl" running around in theWoods due to the fiasco that happened recently at the local "Annual Village Turkey shoot".
Typically our turkey shoot is trap shooting at Clay pigeons,but this year we were going to do something different.
I thought that we were going to shoot the Tribal Admin & Cronies.
When I voiced this aloud everyone just glared at me.
I wondered what we'd shoot at this year and a real live "Goobblle-gobblle!" greeted my ears. That was my answer.
Bill, theVillage trouble maker, let loose the first Turkey to run, and our current reigning Village Beauty-Tess, racked a shell into her shotgun, took aim and promptly broke a nail after theBoom!!
She dropped the shotgun right away and sprinted down theHighway to her friends Nail Shop & Esthetics Log-cabin for an $80 repair. Hmmm. considering all the happened next, Tess was the lucky one.
And Gramma, yes dangerous Gram from last year and the years previous, was next to shoot. No one had bothered to give her a mini safety class in weapons handling I see.
(Gramma grew up dog-mushing, snow-shoeing before she could walk, spent months out in theWoods half her life, she fought Bears and Wolves. Dunked herself 3 times in the River by accident-and still didn't know gun-safety to save her life).
She still waved the barrel of her Wingmaster magnum around and covered Everyone-including her unborn grandchildren-with a loaded chamber.
The snows are deep here in theVillage from the recent heavy snow-fall. We searched for 3 villagers that dived into theSnow running from Gramma's folly and we still haven't found them.
Poor Tom turkey was, by then, strutting around in front of everyone unharmed and shaking his red beard, gobbling angrily. His bald head was actually sweating!!
Mike, the dependable handyman, was next after Gramma stepped back to "fix" her shotgun.
"click". Nothing.
"rack-rack". Click. Nothing.
It was then that I saw, in my mind, this 18" feeder spring and plastic plug that pushes the shells out of the firearm SITTING at home next to the PC.
I had cleaned the shotgun before I left to attend the Turkey shoot and then Mike asked to use MY gun. "Ok."
Chagrined, I turned redder than Toms angry head & neck.
Tom still strutted, in fact he was now further away-Sprinting!!
The current police officer (a NON Native) just rolled his eyes then took shelter from theStorm inside his Patrol vehicle.
I should have taken a clue when he ducked into theBACK of theCruiser. That's where thePrisoner Cage is, heavy rollbars, padded doors and heavy duty seat belts.
I think theOfficer was the 2nd lucky one too next to Tess. Who by now, was blabbering uncontrollably to theVillage Nail techs about how she broke her $20 (a finger) nail.
(Lord knows how she runs to me blabbering about locking herself out of her new car or whenever she's in some kind of trouble. One time she was drunk, one time her cat died, another time her boyfriend left her) *sigh*
Suddenly a commotion stirred in the holding pickup where the other 6 Turkeys were being held.
The pickup belonged to Will theRetiree and it was a NICE pickup.
All shiny and with a new hardtop shell.
A big yellow beak punctured the back window easy as paper, then a big gray claw shot out grasping empty air. Turkey riot!
It was quite moving actually, to see the Turkeys vying for freedom. For one more day of life and off our dinner plates. Actually, as I think of all this mess. I'm glad THEY weren't armed.
The freed turkeys sprang out of the busted camper and bedlam broke out amongst us villagers.
18 villagers drove to the community center. 4 villagers drove away when the commotion settled.
6 cars and 2 pickups are now disabled or damaged. As everyone picked a "target" and opened fire upon the nearest frightened Turkey.
Only 1 (ONE!) Tom bit the dust and that was because Holly, theTribal Admin's Secretary / Gofer ran over the poor bird after panicking when the fire fight broke out and she instigated a mini demo derby trying to escape in her Bronco.
Whereas Tess freaks out when she breaks an artificial Nail. Holly freaks out when anything: hands, Wind, the light messes up her hair or even makes it look bad.
"Yes, I'll have a slice of breast with AP720 R6 treads please, No studs though. Easy on the hubcaps and hold the valve-stem cores."
I have to replace my windshield, my back window, my rear bumper, my tail lights and fix two tires. I dunno the extent of the damage to everyone else in detail.
*sigh*
I've managed to get dirty and ash covered every summer at least a few days straight and go out into theWoods to sneak around "the Hunted" style to touch theWildlife.
I've snuck up to theVillage Kids drinking and even made off with a jacket last summer (when taking breaks from thePrincess' security summer job. Hee hee.)
I've managed to get close to red fox and had caribou run past me. And my coveted prize is to get next to a moose with a rifle.
Now I can add "Turkey" to the mix. As 5 Toms are now strutting free around theVillage.
As for our annual Village Thanksgiving dinner that we hold at the Community Hall, I wonder if we'll eat pizza again this year like Last?
theSam!!
Your Village Called Inc.
Comments