the Red Rez Tour announcements
YVC Inc, Nov 28, 2005. Tara "mascara" White (Intern)
YVC received the following announcement by flaming arrow from our sister Skinz down south in the Lower 48.
theRedRez Inc company based on the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, South Dakota, will now be hosting their quarterly Plains Crossing Re-enactments for all the White Tourists to participate in and to enjoy a Once-in-a-"Lifetime" experience of epic proportions.
Grab the reigns to your favorite horse or Ox team and hitch up your favorite Conestoga wagon, grab the wife and kids....don't forget to bring along
Mother-in-Law too coz you're going camping. (you'll also need her as currency)
Try the Plains trek, "Trail of Jeers"
Your package choice includes 2 weeks of starvation and near death as real LIVE
Injunz stalk and Verbally harrass your wagon train day after day with anti-Repub
slogans and stave off precious sleep as they Pow-Wow all night "just over
the Hill" to the sounds of Indigenous, BlackThunder, Red Hoops, and
ValleyForged.
And just to keep up with the Modern times, theSkinz will burn Norton, Jack and
any "Repub of your choice" dolls in effigy' over their heathen
campfires.
Maybe the "Rockies Rondevous" will suit those Diehards among you.
Your trip will start in Kansas and head on west and finally peter out somewhere
in the Rocky Mountains as you follow the trail of the
infamous Donner (Dinner) Party.
Let's hope that no Anti-gunners are amongst this crowd as all participants will be issued assault rifles, handguns, knifes and matching sets of cookware as all food and water will be confiscated before the trek. (Dinner jackets and evening gowns required)
Can't get enough pain?
Wound YOUR knees with our newest package.
The "Tioga Trailer Park massacre".
Where all participants will be required to tow their own camper of choice behind
the Mules.
Then after you get settled in after a few hard days on the trail and have your
evening barb-q cookouts and frog-in-a-blender square dancing.
theNatives that accompany you from a distance will wipe out the whole contingent down to the last note of music from your CD players and the last burst of gas from your propane tanks.
RedRez Inc accepts Visa, MC, Diners Club, Pony Express and even Western Union!!! but they don't take American Express...sorry.
Future RedRez Tour packages will include actually living for 3 months on an Indian Rez. You'll be saying "ennit??", "Oh!!!" and "Aaayyyeee" before you know it.
You'll be masters at driving your cars backwards, push starting up hill in
sub-zero temps, and recycling electronics and furnishings from the local dump.
Push your Pancreas and Gallbladder capabilities to the limits while dining on fine Rez cuisine such as: bricks of orange cheeze that was made when Hoover was in the White house, packs of crackers that you can also burn in your wood stove for heat.
Canned spam, pork and beef that will grease you up slicker than Dubya and his
cabinet and if you cook your flour, lard and butter just right.
You'll be selling armor plating and armor piercing rounds to the Military.
Throw your wrists out from Carpal Tunnel as you apply, re-apply and re-apply endlessly for Tribal Financial Aid and Welfare funds help from the Tribal offices while you sit in your cold HUD homes expecting help.
Another Tour available will include the "Treaties Coup d grace" where
your wagon or cavalry party will be approached by Warriors on horseback who will
inflict multiple paper cuts upon you from photo copies of ancient treaties that
remain unfulfilled. "Take that!!"
(All TCG applicants are advised to bring their own blood bank stocks and lots of
bandaids.)
Sable, Mink, Oaken, Roan, Buckskin?? Maybe it is and maybe it ISNT Maybelline.
the Model Divas tour package will have the Hometown beauties amongst your women looking at fashion and beauty tips in a whole new light. Guest instructors will be Mr? Marilyn Mansion, Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Kiss, NIN and Anna Nicole Smith. Just keep those contest losing-vengeful mothers and
their hired hitmen away please.....
And the "Color Wheel" experiment where just your kids will be allowed on theRez for a year and they will be indoctrinated in the Righteous ways of
theSkin!!
Peace.
(Tara "Mascara" White says:
We're working on an "Alaska Near Death experience" Winter package that will start on the AK Marine Hwy from Seattle, head on up past Vancouver Island and past the Queeen Charlotte Islands too.
So where's the "near death" experiences while aboard a Luxerious AlaskaPrincess Lodges Cruiseliner?
All AND participants will be allowed to sightsee and Hunt whale from 20' flat bottomed river boats powered by canoe paddles. You'll have genuine Kuspuk wearing, ball capped Tour guides spitting snuff and seal oil.
You'll port stop in Cordova, Valdez and finally Whittier where the "Foot Trek" will begin.
As you get into Anchorage you'll be forced to navigate the various new construction Round-abouts throughout theCity in Drag!! (Ice chains required for stilletos)
Next will be the endurance run through the MatsuValley (don't inhale) as you run the dreaded Big K gauntlet.
Mandatory shopping stops are prerequisite at all BigK and Walmart stores in theValley before heading North.
Further details will be made available as we negotiate with the various Native Villages along the AND route to ensure their satisfactory participation.
Happy Holidayz!!
luvs Tara, YVC Inc
filling in for chelsea talker who just got shipped up river by Nenana for Alcohol Treatment
we're rootin' for ya' Chels.
YVC received the following announcement by flaming arrow from our sister Skinz down south in the Lower 48.
theRedRez Inc company based on the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, South Dakota, will now be hosting their quarterly Plains Crossing Re-enactments for all the White Tourists to participate in and to enjoy a Once-in-a-"Lifetime" experience of epic proportions.
Grab the reigns to your favorite horse or Ox team and hitch up your favorite Conestoga wagon, grab the wife and kids....don't forget to bring along
Mother-in-Law too coz you're going camping. (you'll also need her as currency)
Try the Plains trek, "Trail of Jeers"
Your package choice includes 2 weeks of starvation and near death as real LIVE
Injunz stalk and Verbally harrass your wagon train day after day with anti-Repub
slogans and stave off precious sleep as they Pow-Wow all night "just over
the Hill" to the sounds of Indigenous, BlackThunder, Red Hoops, and
ValleyForged.
And just to keep up with the Modern times, theSkinz will burn Norton, Jack and
any "Repub of your choice" dolls in effigy' over their heathen
campfires.
Maybe the "Rockies Rondevous" will suit those Diehards among you.
Your trip will start in Kansas and head on west and finally peter out somewhere
in the Rocky Mountains as you follow the trail of the
infamous Donner (Dinner) Party.
Let's hope that no Anti-gunners are amongst this crowd as all participants will be issued assault rifles, handguns, knifes and matching sets of cookware as all food and water will be confiscated before the trek. (Dinner jackets and evening gowns required)
Can't get enough pain?
Wound YOUR knees with our newest package.
The "Tioga Trailer Park massacre".
Where all participants will be required to tow their own camper of choice behind
the Mules.
Then after you get settled in after a few hard days on the trail and have your
evening barb-q cookouts and frog-in-a-blender square dancing.
theNatives that accompany you from a distance will wipe out the whole contingent down to the last note of music from your CD players and the last burst of gas from your propane tanks.
RedRez Inc accepts Visa, MC, Diners Club, Pony Express and even Western Union!!! but they don't take American Express...sorry.
Future RedRez Tour packages will include actually living for 3 months on an Indian Rez. You'll be saying "ennit??", "Oh!!!" and "Aaayyyeee" before you know it.
You'll be masters at driving your cars backwards, push starting up hill in
sub-zero temps, and recycling electronics and furnishings from the local dump.
Push your Pancreas and Gallbladder capabilities to the limits while dining on fine Rez cuisine such as: bricks of orange cheeze that was made when Hoover was in the White house, packs of crackers that you can also burn in your wood stove for heat.
Canned spam, pork and beef that will grease you up slicker than Dubya and his
cabinet and if you cook your flour, lard and butter just right.
You'll be selling armor plating and armor piercing rounds to the Military.
Throw your wrists out from Carpal Tunnel as you apply, re-apply and re-apply endlessly for Tribal Financial Aid and Welfare funds help from the Tribal offices while you sit in your cold HUD homes expecting help.
Another Tour available will include the "Treaties Coup d grace" where
your wagon or cavalry party will be approached by Warriors on horseback who will
inflict multiple paper cuts upon you from photo copies of ancient treaties that
remain unfulfilled. "Take that!!"
(All TCG applicants are advised to bring their own blood bank stocks and lots of
bandaids.)
Sable, Mink, Oaken, Roan, Buckskin?? Maybe it is and maybe it ISNT Maybelline.
the Model Divas tour package will have the Hometown beauties amongst your women looking at fashion and beauty tips in a whole new light. Guest instructors will be Mr? Marilyn Mansion, Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Kiss, NIN and Anna Nicole Smith. Just keep those contest losing-vengeful mothers and
their hired hitmen away please.....
And the "Color Wheel" experiment where just your kids will be allowed on theRez for a year and they will be indoctrinated in the Righteous ways of
theSkin!!
Peace.
(Tara "Mascara" White says:
We're working on an "Alaska Near Death experience" Winter package that will start on the AK Marine Hwy from Seattle, head on up past Vancouver Island and past the Queeen Charlotte Islands too.
So where's the "near death" experiences while aboard a Luxerious AlaskaPrincess Lodges Cruiseliner?
All AND participants will be allowed to sightsee and Hunt whale from 20' flat bottomed river boats powered by canoe paddles. You'll have genuine Kuspuk wearing, ball capped Tour guides spitting snuff and seal oil.
You'll port stop in Cordova, Valdez and finally Whittier where the "Foot Trek" will begin.
As you get into Anchorage you'll be forced to navigate the various new construction Round-abouts throughout theCity in Drag!! (Ice chains required for stilletos)
Next will be the endurance run through the MatsuValley (don't inhale) as you run the dreaded Big K gauntlet.
Mandatory shopping stops are prerequisite at all BigK and Walmart stores in theValley before heading North.
Further details will be made available as we negotiate with the various Native Villages along the AND route to ensure their satisfactory participation.
Happy Holidayz!!
luvs Tara, YVC Inc
filling in for chelsea talker who just got shipped up river by Nenana for Alcohol Treatment
we're rootin' for ya' Chels.
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