FAQ's

Frequently Asked Incredulous Questions!!

This tabloid-style issue of YVC Inc (doh!!) is brought to you by theSam!!
who’s apparent “distasteful and irresponsible” comments couldn’t be closer to theSpoof!! unless you were actually there in theMidst of it all in theVillage!!

YVC Inc (doh!!) had these moderated words to say about theTypist??,
“when we agree to try a syndicated column that isn’t too far indented left of center and stands at 9 to 12 Font size, in Black type with NewTimes font,

we expect theWriter!? to offer Irresponsible, hair-brained unreasonable opinions on International / National / Village!! issues!!, eh.. so far he’s been right on mostly theLatter”.

“We will continue to put up with columns of someone
who uses Village People as punching bags and as a punch line to get cheap laughs
and who freely uses an offensive Food term to describe another human being”
huffed theModerator!!, before he headed down to theY-M-C-A to join theSpiked Punch-Line.

And what was theFuss all about?!
It turns you out have to go into rehab if you use the word Baguette!!

As theSam!! was just making fun of those silly french breads, what CARRs store sells, and of which he eats plenty of each month via his FoodStamp “Quest” card purchases.

“besides, I got tired of those soft, dinky dinner rolls with tons of flour on them,
reminded me of Seattle and their food banks and the day old breads I’d eat from those places”, coughed theHandOut!!

It turns out that theFoodBank!! used to get taunted about being a “wuss” on theSchoolyards in theVillage long ago for eating his balogna & cheese between baguette slices and was apparently trying to be a Diva at that time, you know... a VillageCelebrity!!

But enough about dropped Editorial columns and sarcastic words,

as this next installment to theAlaska Village Tales / theAVT trainwreck adds another boxcar to theLine, which will derail later on in theFuture!!

No worries though, as the more cars are added to theLine, the bigger the whole End crash will be!!

Since our Website doesn’t have anything user friendly, like a Frequently Asked Questions list that people could just browse, we decided to add an FAQ list of our own, so that people could peruse at their leisure,

Hoping beyond hope that any issues that they had with theSite would be addressed in the first few minutes of Browsing theAVT wasteland-thus calming all their doubts and fears,

we decided to cull various snippets of barbs, nasty criticism and threats
from our various E-mails,

from our CourtServed “cease & desist” stack of papers
(even theCourier that delivers theLegalPapers to us has their own parking spot in our parking lots)

from our mounds of faxes received and even Snail-mail from theUSPS too.

Literally dozens of YVC Inc (doh!!) Temps who sweat-shopped for weeks on end sorting through all theCorrespondence from our Legions of Fans,

finally came to these 25 reasons to never EVER leave Seattle and move to AK!! Or as we’d like to say, 25 reasons to never ever look at theAlaskaVillageTales site again!!

YVC Inc’s FAiQ!!’s

also known as Frequently Asked Incredulous Questions?!

(can somebody scream “fake!!”)

1) Does theSam!! even require an “Village!!” to be VPSO to?

Working with other poor saps is the optimum way to maximize theBoys!! outrageously expensive OJT and subsequent VPSO Academy training.

I mean, there’s only so many times thePeerless!! (a handcuff brand) can restrain himself and write up self-citations.

After that..... “Look out world!!!”, eerr.

We meant “Village”. And unfortunately theDoubleLock!! just couldn’t restrain himself when it came to.... well, you know, restraining his bevy of VillageHunnies!!

But yes, theSam!! requires human contact and interaction and that means having a peer group close by,

a Peer group which bears some semblance to a Village and it’s even in theYelledAtOne!!‘s attorney written contract-that various types of Profane dialogue be directed towards him, oh.. and that theGeneralStore also be stocked for 6months in Pop-Tarts & blue boxes of whole milk!!

Such things certainly end up paying for theTime put into enriching each fools.. uh!!

we meant, each esteemed non-Profit employee / Public Safety Officers life and calling!

But the word “Calling” would be outrageously exaggerated by this time (2007)

as we are currently covering events that took place early Turn-of-Century 2000 & 2001, back in those nostalgic Good Old Days.

And speaking of outrageous, we’ll talk about the exhorbant price of having an VPSO recruit or even 7 of them all together (from theSame Region!!) at once at Academy,

the cost of which is......

*summons theOracle*
(a cute Very Old, very short tiny VillageGranma to shake her diamond willow cane and eat fish soup. If she leaves theHeads, the cost is under 10 grand.)

Which according to our company Staff accountants comes out to about $15K per Officer for a 2 month long Academy time. And we’r..

What?!

Oh..

Granmas ladling Gravy out on her mashed potatos now.....

Yes, Everything is gravy!! when it comes to factoring in cost over-runs, itinerary items that got left out, other perks and bennies!!

And we’re not even factoring in the late night Pizza Hut deliveries made to theAcademy either!!

which as it turns out was discreetly billed to another Non-Profit company via an unsuspecting Academy classmate!!,

nor are we including in the extensive water damage to theTraining Room that WAS located under theBrandNew $5Million Girls dorm room / Academy Instructor / Guests Wing

(pause now for jaw dropping and fainting, from theAuthor!!, whose stringy arms suddenly hurt)

I guess I..... that a “certain SOMEBODY” didn’t like theDailyGirls wing cleaning even during weeks when no Academy guests were even brave enough to stay a day or two to Instruct theNewly Minted VPSO’s of VPSO class 29!!,

or even when all theFemaleRecruits were razzed and driven off by theGuys, all their love-struck College-boy groupies.

Turns out that someone left a shower stall spigot open full blast after cleaning theGirls Dorm wing and “forgot” to turn off the water when finished picking up used tampons, scouring theCurtains of soap-scum, wiping dried period blood Off theToilet seats, etc.

Such forgetfulness was promptly remembered after theVPSO class ran off to Lunch then marched back to theAcademyGrounds and were met by SolemnFaced StateTroopInstructors

who then quietly splish-splashed their Glossy-toed shoes oh-so delicately as they stepped
Onto-n-Off of each AcademyRecruit doing Pushups,

each Instructor walking around to personally see that each Pushup was made in the 2” deep water that had by-now flooded theFront Driveway!!

But hey!!, it was middle of +10F Sitka Rainy, iced slicked roads / pavement / sidewalk winter,

so theRecruits didn’t know what was going on until after theFirst hour and by necessity,
found it convenient to “drink” theWater below their punished bodies,

then a Baldinghead reared up from one side of thePronePack and commented that the water tasted like Mr Clean, Windex and....

*smacking his lips*

like a minor case of Trychmon... trychmon... (oh crumbs. I can’t spell that hygiene word)

Anyway, yes sir!! Us Alaskan VPSO’s can do anything.

Be they Policeman,
Fireman,
Probations & Parole Officers / Corrections,
SAR / search-n-rescue,
even EMT’s!!

And for at least two days, we all were Janitorial, Carpentry, Drywall & Flooring specialists too!!

Even Engineering & Foundations Apprentices as we crawled under theAcademy building and inspected theFoundations Pilings.

Nothing amiss under there but a few cast off duty shirts, some old VPSO reports,

theSkeletal remains of an Former VPSO Director and THAT is where I found my Public Safety Career people!!

Yep, every end has it’s beginning and this Train-wreck of a Blog began that day under theAcademy!!

all huddled fetal position, shivering, cold, hungry, yearning for a home...

It looked so lonely cowering in theCorner under glare of my SureFire “fire-Fly” StreamLit Pelican encased Duracell-powered rechargeable.... um.. Light. None of theOtherRecruits wanted it so.

I grabbed it and snuck it back to my Dorm room with me and we’ve been pals ever since, My Public Safety Career and I!!

It’s like my shadow, but that’s another blog sotry... er Story.

And about all those wonderful Titles and such, we even have Certificates proudly announcing that sordid fact.

Well, at least I still have copies of mine... um somewhere.....or was it that one winter when I needed fire starter and used my....?....

No.. maybe when I got kicked out of that 3rd graders house, an old Flame of mine and she literally threw all my possession out the....

*sigh*

I at least walked away from that Relationship with my head held high, and with my “PowerPuff Girls” pink backpack....anyway.

Where was I?!

oh.. Factoring.

And we’re not even factoring in theEmotional!! toll heaped upon Academy Faculty & Staff either.

Given that a couple of “HOT” female instructors were quick to meet and greet each Officer at theDoor!! upon first day of Class with a friendly smile, a firm handshake

and temporary RestrainingOrders per Recruit all around!!

After class 29!! graduation two months later, those Instructor Gals presented each Recruit with additional 2yr RO’s that were automatically extendable every year thereafter, but there was a “Certain” recruit,

And I’m not saying “whom”, but his RO’s were automatically renewable every 2.5 yrs there after, ever after!!

Those girls are smart!! Having been through theWringer of dealing with a bunch of lonely men from theVillage!! or at least..... Going TO theVillage!!, day in and out year after year.

So to sort of answer your first Question.
Yes, theSam!! and all other Past, Current & Future VPSO’s do need a Village to “village” in.

It’s in theVPSO website recommendations, that each Officer must have a Village awaiting their Employ to afflict, lash out upon and otherwise torment,
especially if such Village occupants Imbibe, Import illegally and assault one another!

And what is it with your stupid question anyhow!?
You act like having a Village or a focused peer group close at hand is an after-thought.

Let me tell you something friend.
You shouldn’t even view your Village or that place where you go to as anything other than “tools”.

After all, THEY look at YOU as just that,
a Tool.

A walking Wallet,

An convenient punching bag be it Verbally and often all too Literally.

And you need to view them as just the same!!

You can learn from them, be they your spouse, friend or someone who wants to learn what “Village-schtick!!” is like.

You can pass on theTradition just like it was heartily passed onto theSam!! during his first altercation in theVillage.

except that for him, theStick was a heavy Diamond Willow cane wielded by an irate Village Elder.

All you need is someone who will give you “theAir that you breathe”, or at least that’s how half theVillages act anywho. Like they’re more important than their Law-keeping Officers.

If you AbsolutelyVodka!! cannot find a Village then you can learn by checking in here Online each week at Your Village Called, aka Alaska Village Tales (theAVT) and you can see theWhere withAlls and WhereAs and even theHowComes!? of it all.

Especially after typing up Important paperwork with such high sounding words at least 4 times a day per Villager, you’ll be bound for theWitness!! stand in just two weeks!!

Not that any witnessing was ever done by theSam!! during his time in theVillage.

Just a lot of report writing, theGiving!! and even theReceiving!! of various Citations, RestrainingOrders, CourtOrders, various Injunctions and Appellates and other legal missives.

Watching the techniques as theSam!! does them at least once before going home to his Lodge room for dinner and a movie with his fave VillageChick!!,

Listening to theNasally audio and follow along as theSam!! utters and do them at least 50 times before you go to sleep at night,

then imagine yourself as doing such and mimic theReportWriting!?,
mimic theVisual!! body movement cues and even take up theHabit of eating no less than 4 boxes of PopTarts and drinking no less than 2 small box cartons of Milk a day!!

Eat chocolate candy bars and bags of Chips (items confiscated from your Pot Smokers),
drink cases of Pop and chew on bubble gum!!

And treat yourself at least Once a week to a Hoggendoz ice cream bar.

I know it is hard to believe but VPSO Academy recruit studies conducted by theState yielded an increase in overall Village improvement by at least 25%. I say that Village can be done by anyone!!

Good questions all around we have here, we’ll skip thePallet loads in printed out Factors and let’s get on with the next question shall we?!

2) Why do so many Villages claim their Residents have trained theVPSO’s well above any and all state mandated requirements!?

Because the anomolys acronym VPSO is so Vague and Generic.
It is likened unto being no less than 5 Roles all in One lovable, huggable Sherriffs-brown clad uniformed person WWAAYY out in theVillage!!

Each VPSO is a Cop, a Fireman, an EMT, an SAR, even Probations / Parole!!.
Any scheming tele-marketers can safely use such “Cop”, “Fireman”, etc descriptions in their advertisements without having to worry about being sued.

In fact, out in theVillage!! we only leave theWorrying (about being sued) to our VPSO’s!!

If any Public Safety Officer has wandered into any City business, coffee shop, art studio etc,
or if they any member of the Public were contacted for some short term investigations, etc,
by theVPSO’s for Official or Personal purposes these tele-marketer guys can use it in their ads.

As evidenced by recent spate of “appearances” in theCity by a former VPSO
(whom shall remain nameless) at various InternetCafe’s and donut shops,

theOrdering!! out from several Pizza places, even the attentions lavished upon theOccasional CuteOnly girl here and there!!

and that apparently gives these various people right and reason to tout themselves as “being Internet Provider, cell phone provider to, food provider of, and even Library services given to....” etc.

Each VPSO is very specific in his / her claims.
We say Village Public Safety (the official state name for theSafety Officers) and give our official Academy class numbers in our website along with up to date VPSO news.

At the beginning of each VPSO Academy class we show clips of actual training of real Police units from our personal archives

as well as what‘s culled from “Wild PoliceChases“,
“yearly MardiGras bead-n-breast footage!!”,
any “KeyStoneCopsEpisodes“,
all “BarneyFife“ episodes,
and what ever theSam!! cares to share with us from his digital cam & video Village library.

We are who we say we are, no one else backs up their claims!?

Now, that being said, we have many State Villages out there claiming that they’re theNumber One Trainers,

that they’re theBest in Providing instruction to our various VPSO’s, and granted, many Villages do provide adequate real-life experience to their Officers

But one has to officially attend theStateAcademy to officially be called VPSO.
After that, like our Oracle / Granma Says or does, it’s all Gravy upon thePotatos and Meatloaf.

In fact, theState really doesn’t care what theHell happens after that to each Officer.

As most official Online StateTroop reports that might have been originally responded to and investigated By a VPSO, it’s an StateTroop that eventually puts their name on theReports.

And in putting out theOfficial StateTroop newsletter online and in paper, we’ll mention various nonsensical news from around theVarious Troop Posts in theState and we’ll include sappy stories about Police work, include family pics from our Troops etc,

We’ll honor our dead and grieve our losses, we’ll celebrate our success, we’ll talk about ourselves and never ever mention anything about our fearless First Responders in theVillages; theVPSO’s and theVPO’s.

unless!! unless it’s public news that will benefit OUR image in theVillages, like theDARE programs, like bad news of accidents and suicides etc.

Each Officer is pretty much left to themselves out there in theVillages and this is where all theTrouble starts with us theState, as having provided adequate Training, certificates, equipment, tools and backing.

Most of which is often provided by theVillage!! Or often purchased by theOfficer themself.

We can’t really fight with each Village!! resident when, by response to each SA / DVE , DUI event, etc,

Real life and therefore, Recent-Relevant training is given to each Officer.

Of course on theFlip-side of this Village arguement you’ll have theOccasional fed-up Villager that works against each Officer or former Officer in their midst.

Such Villagers will often get scared at theVisual cues given by such said Officers,
such as being openly or concealed armed with a Handgun, an Edged & Impact weapon or any combo of these.

Such Villagers will chafe at theContinued respect given to such Officers or former Officers in their midst and many Inebriate Village leaders will deny said Officers employment,

opting as it were, to keep their local State & Federal fundz “in house”, close to theVest and within their own Native families.

Such things happen more often than we think, such Native upon Native hostilities and the with holding of meaningful employment to such Goodly Officers & such after their VPSO years-
is completely fine with Us theState.

It keeps theOfficers and other goodly people down and out of theWay, while we, theState keep all thePowers of arrest, detention, investigation to ourselves.

We prefer to keep Good men out of our StateTroop uniforms by having them re-apply and re-apply and re-apply again for positions in our ranks that will never be filled by them.

especially if such former Officers once served in theVillages and gave their all.

The Villages maybe just drunk, but theState is drunk with Power and intends to keep it and not share it with theNatives.

We, theState, like to discriminate like this and make it hard to join our Troop ranks and keep Power in the hands of White people and keep out theNatives-as evidenced by one former Native VPSO’s 5yr effort to get into State Troop Academy even after becoming a VPSO.

After all, it’s theWhite society that rules now and we know better!! Ha ha ha.

But what really bothers us at city HeadQuarters and elsewhere as we look at theNet and quietly watch certain writings and events as told by certain former VPSO’s.

Is that there is nothing we can do to stop them exposing the sad truth about life in theVillage and our State’s hold upon things out there.

It bothers us that certain Officers just move on with life and move on quietly in theWork of Public Safety as they see fit to apply in their day to day work.

It bothers us, theState, that certain things like, Life Experience, and individual respect built up by each person that still Keeps thePublicSafety mission in their heart and lives,

totally outrules any recent / relevant “training” we may have to offer in order to keep thePublic safe.

There’s something called Morality and Integrity, Honor and Virtue that we, theState, completely miss and that some people have gathered and maintained all their lives.

And oftimes if we DO see it in people of Color, we overlook it and wish it belonged to a White person who wants to work for us.

It bothers us to know that we are not in control of some people’s lives, that we have no say in the day to day decisions that they make regarding their continued roles in theWork of Public Safety.

It bothers us to know that some people still carry weapons and tools on a day to day basis and still have their heart set upon serving thePeople.

We don’t like it that they stand ready to help us enforce society’s rules. We don’t like it that they are still ready to go into harms way for the good of thePublic.

Public Safety to us is an 8hr day or 4 / 10 shifts and days off and an report filed to theWatch Commander by Monday morning.

Public Safety to us isn’t a 24hr 7days a week, Lifelong event.
Such activities are against theNorm that is prevalent in regular Police and StateTroop ranks.
Of working 9-5 or other steady hours and then going home after that.

We wish that even our Officers were as dedicated and selfless as some of theNatives and other potential StateTroop recruits we’ve kept out of our ranks.

Such initiative and drive, such living their lives independent of us, theState and it’s Influence troubles us.

Maybe those Villages and their residents know best how to police themselves, how to solve their problems and maybe those Public Safety Officers at Large know how to protect theState better than we do.

??

3) What computer program is the revolutionary “Ready Report” derived from!?

I am absolutely delighted to have used that report aid several times in my own Village related work using my Village VPSO‘s computer.

It truly is a lifesaver of a program and certainly helped me get my recent promotion in theVillageCouncil!!

I love it because theReadyReport comes preloaded with theStandard
“Cite-Write-Give” forms that are over 75% completely filled out,

and all you have to do to activate theRR program while playing Solitaire or other Computer games is touch any key on theKeyboard when theCouncilChief or theFamily pops in theOffice,

just tell ‘em that you’re still working and show ‘em the nearly completed forms!!

Village-schtick!! is 100% (proof by Volume) based totally on rural Native principles and is 100% (proof by Volume) effective in practice.

The best State Programs have approximately 10% WASP / white anglo...... principles behind it, the balance is made up of binding and hampering movements.

And this revolutionary “Ready Report!!” that is now de rigeur in theVillage!! is just one technological advancement.

We can’t say where it’s programming roots came from, but it’s based upon theOld state Troop reports that are still in use today via a writing program on all their PC systems.

The new “RR” program is like a VillageGirl!! after you let her in your life!!
She’ll sneak into your pockets looking for $, credit-cards, phone cards to give to her girl friends.

She’ll look for various bits of Intel that she can pass onto her relatives imbedded in theVillageCouncil!! and on theTribalCourt!! panel.

So in that respect, theRR program snoops around in your main-drive and sorts out theMost common peoples names,

it looks over various reports, letters, emails and finds theCommon denominator amongst all these and then.

As you use RR to start writing up a new report, RR automatically adds names to your word processing!!

And it even adds pictures from your photofiles into theDocuments as well.

Even new versions of RR goes Online with theStateTroop Public Information Office links and looks for any names, events that are similar to Whomever, Whatever!! happens there in your Village!!

So sleep all you want during office time!!
Play SpecOps Army Rangers or SpecWar NavySEAL’s!!

Burn music discs to take with you on patrol and if anyone steps into theOffice or even if thePhone!! rings,

theRR program automatically switches to theReport format and gives theImpression to your co-workers that you are Actually working!!

VPSO’s!!, VPO’s!!, even VillageCouncil administrators and various Office workers SWEAR by RR,

though sadly, a few of theEarly RR programs used to cause theAbove people to Swear at Ready Report!!

Especially when one VPSO’s car hit a house and was typing up an incident report and suddenly photos of his recent VillageHoney!! started popping up into theDocument and then......

theRR program began sending out theReport to a few Villagers!!

*sigh*

Now after these and a few other similar Incidents in theVillage, many Villagers hunting weapons now begin to self-load up before their Village gets a new Officer!!

Ask yourself do I want to be 10% effective in a Report Writing style that is less than 10% true or 100% accurate?

4) Other VPSO non-Profit Directors have come out with Digital and tape videos claiming to be official State holders of having theMost Officers in their respective Regions trained in and getting shot with theElectronic Tazers. How can this be?

Hey, every Non-Profit has its bad apples. These VPSO Directors / Liars have tried to confuse the public as well as their state Non-Profit Peers to earn some credibility and earn points in theTraining Dept, hoping you'll take the bait.

Those Regional Non-Profit Directors figure that if theVillage!! (Banana) Republic sees the word “Actual Live Footage of their Officers being Shot”, in an VPSO Recruitment ad they'll believe it and buy theVPSO hype, that they‘ll buy theNon-Profit items.

I mean, just look at one of theState Tourist attractions sold in various shops around theState!!
Is those tiny “Moose” refrigerator magnets!!

Such an item artfully dressed in colorful T-shirt and inscribed with “I Love Nome”,
or “I Love AK”, or even the words
“I MOOSE You”, sells like hotcakes to all theTourists

Well, one Non-Profit Director needed to make some quick cash and ordered some tiny “VPSO” regrigerator magnets to sell in theYVC Inc (doh!!) City offices and out in theVillages!!

Sales shot up, and public “Awweee so Cute!!” sentiment shot up 100% (volume by Proof!!)
for theRegional Officers and a lot of cute Village Chicks were happy and safe in the knowledge that they could now have their very own VPSO refrigerator magnet hanging in theKitchen!!

It was a real Legal mess for a few years though, because theReal life, flesh and blood Officers in theRegion were up in arms over the fact that their Popularity and Standing in theVillages were being replaced!!,

by cute, tiny 4” high soft plush felt clothe figures in painted on hair
(or bald Fryer Tuck versions!)

and whimsical painted on faces, with Brown cotton uniforms and painted on Ballistic Vest replete with various tools and weapons in their pockets!!

Additional spinoffs to this VillageRacket!! were authentic TonkaToy mini Patrol vehicles, mini Boats, and 4Wheelers,

even birchbark scaled down holding cells and Village Diorama’s were being made, sold and Accepted by theYVC Inc (doh!!) public.

In fact, these new Generation of VPSO’s!! were starting to Outdo theReal life Officers in Arrests, Investigations, DARE school presentations, Parolee supervision and Prisoner Transports!! and other VPSO related work

all except for one thing, Firefighting.
(But we’ll close this here tangent soon with a Lodge fire that ended in tragedy involving one of our Plush VPSO’s and Santa Clause)

Some of these New VillageOfficers even settled down in their “Home” Villages with a nice young girl and had families.

Some of these Plush officers even sat on school boards, were VillageCouncil leaders, Chiefs!!

Yet, sadly some of these Successful Officers crashed and burned out in theVillages.

One Plush officer ran away indeed with theSpoon, theSyringe!!, theTorch lighter and even theRubberBand!!

One Plush Officer took to personally disposing of theAlcohol & Drugs all by himself!!! into his own system. Ever after hizh.. *hic*

hsizh.. opinions, *hiccup!!*
hizz words, his antire, *bbeellcchh!!!*

his tire..
hiz hole Being were totally, Totallly. soaked!! *hic!!*

And one Christmas time, in a Village close to theCity!! A Lodge fire started after an SA / DVE / Gun call summoned a toy Plush Officer under theChristmas Tree

and a fist fight ensued between thePlushOfficer and theGingerBreadMan, soon joined by CeramicFigurine SantaClause and oddly enough, theChristmasTreeAngel!!

It was ugly people.

Christmas was not present at all in spirit in that Village as the Participants of that Melee were all lost in theLodgeFire.

Oh, it was such a mess!!

Even those tiny Plush Officers formed a Union and took on theState.
By theWay, that issue was settled when thePopularity of such cute VPSO figures went the way of BeanieBabies.

But now and then, there’s theOccasional!! holdout in a far off distant village where some pillow brained Chief or soft Village Council goofs up and fights off progressive attempts to better themselves and their People.

So, ask for credentials from these shyster Non-Profit VPSO Directors, they don't have them!!

Ask to see the purported video footage that they claim to have from any VPSO Regional Trainings (held every November), they don’t have them!!

Compare their hodgepodge training and archive keeping systems with theSam!! and you'll see the lie for what it is.

As theTazedOne!! can't keep others from trying to make a buck but it would be nice if it was not so easy for them to get away with outright lies!!

Just ask theSam!! about his Tazer training experiences and he might show you at least ONE of theProbe marks (3rd deg burn?) upon his Pec.

As for theOther Probe mark below theBelt over theLeft front pants pocket line,
He doesn’t have it!!

Guess theFat!! healed theBurn!! out of sight. But he might show you his Gall-stone surgery scars.

he’s been there and done that, even if a certain “someones” video camera went “Kaput!!” during Tazer training day at one Regional Training.

How far did theSam!! go that day?!

All the way, 5 second ride after being shot from theFront.
And none of theOther wimpy Officers in the room ever got shot, but opted to have Tazer Probe leads taped to their bodies and received only a short 2 second jolt.

We’ll move onto our next Fake!!,
good questions all around people,

great response via Email, IM and of course,
theOccasional DeathThreat from regional fans.

((FAIQ’s 5 to 25 to be continued later!!!)

questions like,

5) How do theVPSO’s handle ground-fighting!? Updated 2007!

VillageChixxx!! / VillageGirl!! grappling has become quite popular in the last few years because of theInternet sites of BlueToob and YorSpace and other extreme events sites you can post video too .

Not to mention the increase in overall pay for our Rural Officers in Brown and Gray!!
Some VC / VG can make upwards of $40, $50, even $60K per year if they have sole claim upon an Officer and exclusive Sponsership from him!!

But it must be remembered that these events are beyond No-Holds Barred fight events and have no rules. In fact, such events are beyond Rural and into Village!! where there is no civilization.

Remember folks, we’re talking of dirt poor Rural Villages where car gas sells for upwards of $8 to $10 a gallon, where Diesel fuel / heating oil is double that amount and where a gallon of milk costs $10/gal too. So you can easily see where some girls just have to swallow their pride and literally fight for their livelihood OutThere.

State mandated / Academy taught fighting is compliance oriented, it’s competitive authority-fighting and should be viewed as such.

But theVillageChixxx!! teach you how to fight regardless of whether you are vertical or horizontal!!
whether you are introverted or extroverted (even perverted!!)

So digest these FAiQ tidbits for now until thePublished!! has more time to continue.
As he is now off to hit Kaladis for another VanillaSteamer and chocolate decadence cake before catching theBus!! to work.

Keep it real!!,
Keep it Native!!
Keep away from HIM!!

FAQ's Continued!!

As we said earlier,
that theVillageChixxx!! teach you how to fight whether you're Vertical,
Horizontal, Whether you're introverted,
extroverted or even perverted!!

whether you are perpendicular or parallel!!, whether you’re Right or Wrong!!
it makes no difference.

You’re always ready with theNew Fight systems that have come out of theVillages!! as of late 2006 and early 2007.

Just ask Any VillageGirl!!
Some systems are ominously lacronymed
SCARS, Tooth & Nail, KnifeSlash, Cut & Stab!!,
Bloodshed, Black & VillageBlue, Scratch-n-Bite!!

If you look at things from a Villagers!! point of View,

YOU theVPSO are theAttacker!!
theInvader into their homes to take away their precious alcohol and their sacred Pot.

YOU are theJackBootedStateThug!!
to march into their lives and march with them straight to theVPSO holding cell, thus taking away their freedoms.

So the first idea that hits their soaked, Influenced minds is to strike YOUR vulnerable, soft targets and take out YOU, theAttacker.

It all starts in pre-school!!
As you Officers visit theSchool each day and interact with theKidz!! they’ll poke and prod you, tickle you and feel your Body armor Vest, they’ll tickle you and hug you.

Do Not be fooled by this!! d:oP

Those kids are just learning at an early age how to take YOU out later on when they get older,

Take it from an VillageOfficer (who shall remain Clueless!!)
as some 4th graders took to tickling him one day while he was eating TatorTots
and pushed him into theCandy counter next to theRestaurant Grill.

Before he knew it, theCandyman!! was stuck with a $30 candy tab as he laughingly paid it
and took off to theNext SA / DVE!! down theStreet.

Of course, theSame!! ideas also cross the minds of many VillageGirls,
in taking out theCompetition, when it comes to acquiring exclusive VPSO / VPO sponsorship, scholarship and late night Lock-Lip!!

A knowledgeable VillageChick!! Fighter will view a FoxyBoxing event on tv,
see an bootleg School-girl gang initiation beat-up on theInternet,
or even view an Oily Girl-on-Girlwrestling match and see

that each Foxy female competitor misses many opportunities to end the conflict if they were not in a sport competition.

And that is the major differences between VillageChixxx!! fighting and plain old street fighting. Is theOutcome of being in a lower class or upper Class.

To theFemaleVictor!!(s) go theSpoils of Public Safety, er..
at least being able to drive around theVillage!! in ANY car at ANY time day or night,
at ANY speed!! and having “their Man” looking theOther way!!

Your low-rider jeans may be tattered and torn,
your midriff baring T-shirts may be small and shrunken
but at least you bought them that way brand new.

All the better to show off your new tats on theLowBack
and upon your feminine upper shoulder blades, and upon your soft biceps and shoulders.

Even to show your slim Gold belly chain that accentuates your Navel ring / jewelry.

Yepperz, that’s theDiff!!

And to theVillageChick!! Loser goes theEndless police harassment issues!!

The weekly waitings of theOfficers out on theVillageRoad to stop you and your family and searching everyone and theVehicle for “contraband”,

and ofttimes even “planting” such evidence as needed to work against harmless innocent you and further taking away your freedoms & liberties!!

Yep, that’s how it is people.

Victory for a young VillageChick!! tastes sweet like chocolate cake after driving or flying to theCity and returning with Groceries paid for by their VPSO.

Victory tastes like steak dinner or TacoBell instead of tasting like monthly GeneralStore months old bland food staples if you have no Officer to “Sponsor” you or your family.

Victory feels like a fat roll of 50’s and 20’s tucked into your bra... tucked under a breast!!

Victory feels like a smooth vehicle ride in a nice car verses your old junker.

Victory is being able to smile sweetly as you hug your newborn child and knowing that you are set for Life!! (or for as long as theOfficer serves in your Village!!)

Victory is also having your smiling images living in his Photo Collections too, holding your Children, wearing new........... You get thePicture.

The dangerous fact of practicing sport-fighting is
that YOU FIGHT LIKE YOU TRAIN!

Every VillageGirl from birth to death knows this hard fact.

If you train with rules, than you fight with rules, this is a serious disadvantage in a life threatening / Social-Economic situation.

So learn from theMasters of theYVC Inc (doh!!) region by learning to fight like a VillageChick!!

Splendid questions all around people. And MOOving onto our next Fake!!

6) What is the best way to train our village VPSO / VPO, using theYVC / AVT, your village called / alaska village tales websites?

As touched upon above, just like theYoungest of theyoung Villagechicks!!
You learn by watching!! And after that you start to do what you watch.

Just view theOfficers Patrol videos as much as you like for your personal interest.

Follow along as he responds to various events in theVillage
and observe as he takes your Mom, your Dad, your brothers or sisters!!
into State custody and watch how they struggle with him!!

When you want to learn a particular VillageChixx!! Offensive Strike technique,
view it from all theObserved and Verbal angles provided from all Spectators peeking out their window shades at 0200hrs or late afternoon,
even study these things 2nd and 43rd hand........Years later!!

Take your time at digesting such info and ponder it,
you have weeks, months and sometimes even Years!!
depending upon how long your arrested relative goes away to jail or Prison for!!

Then work out with your TP / training partner in theEase, safety and comfort of your own village home.

Do theInterview Technique at half speed.

Do theTaking into Custody technique at half speed,

Do theArrest technique at half speed,

Do theHandcuffing and other Use of Force techniques that you saw and heard described by everyone.

Do these several times half speed, even “talking at half speed too”
(any excuse to give any Officer in your Village any type of ProbableCause / PC to stop you and investigate your apparent slurred speech!!)

Then Repeat theAbove techniques again with your trusted TP

Remember, we learn “our Enemy’s ways by studying them and observing them and we especially learn by imitating them”

Always remember, we mentioned earlier theMimicking of theOfficers.

You do it all theTime anywho..... by mocking them after they contact you.
“Are you John!!”,
“I have an $5000 Failure to Appear Warrant that originally started out from an $50 MCA / Minor Consuming Alcohol charge and I have to take you into custody sir” theVPSO says.

And right after you slam theDoor!! in theOfficers face you plop yourself down in front of your tv set while sneering to your laughing friends,

“urr yoo jon!!?
I haven 5 tousand fail to appeer!!” etc.

Yeppers, already in theMimick, people have been Villaging for years and they never even knew that Mimicking was such a strong teaching tool.

So, we learn best by doing, put yourself into theOfficers!! / His size 12 shoes / boots and do as he’s doing!!

Follow follow him...............all the way to jail.

Carefully follow thePatrol videos,
the in custody footage too and also any follow-up tape as well.

Because every video tape, one per villager, is a virtual Goldmine of evidence for you to browse through at will.

You can both learn from thePerson!! being arrested / Your relative,
and from theOfficer involved when Violence happens and freedom (and Life!!) is at stake.

When “that Day” comes, and theVillagers face hits theVillage road,
after practicing so much with your trusted TP’s,

You’ll insure you strike theTarget!! / theOfficer!!
with the correct body weapon or any weapon snatched from his person
and by later on Mimicking theHowling pained expressions
and glib Utterances of your relatives after being subdued by said Officer.

When practicing with your TP and acting out what you see,
make sure that your opponent / TP gives the proper reaction,
and that Reaction is often one of Pain.

So when with your TP / training partner, REALLY hit them, kick them,
break them to make them feel Pain!!

You won’t ever learn anything until you go ALL theway!!

Remember this, Mimick, Mimick and make fun of Your Village Officer!!

Learn the techniques exactly as shown then do them using the opposite side of your body.

If an Arrest technique ends with an Officer right down striking with his Baton to your Knife-holding hand,

Use your left hand to hold theBlade as your TP strikes you FULL Force with a blunt object!!!

Have your TP grab theBaseball bat and hit your arms for reals,

Have your TP grab a screw driver and..... You get theGrievous!! wound picture I’m trying to make.

This will make you a complete and balanced Village Fighter to one day, stand up against theTranny!! of those darned Officers and their Pesky StateTroop buddies!

But only if you practice what you see and only if you do it for Realz!!

Remember these Officer inspired Slogans to help you as you Learn and struggle in futility toImbibe!!

His head in Cement!! Out theDoor I went!!

My Ear meets his Knee, My pants I pee!!

My feelings do not Matter, by Trauma to my Bladder!!

Practice full force, to face Officer Flyinghorse!!

Screwdriver to my Family, sprays my face now I can’t see!!

TP hits me for Real!! then for months I heal!!

and of course,

to truly answer theAbove question with concerted plainness and truth without theSpoof!!

Watch theVideos and tapes and observe thePhotos and see if theOfficer is doing anything wrong like Assaulting his prisoner,

Outright abusing them!?
Swearing at or if at all?!

Is theOfficer going rodneyKing upon any people in his custody!?
Is theOfficer sexing any females in his custody or otherwise turning theUse of his cameras for Evidence around to perverted ends upon any females that ended up wearing his cuffs!?

Chances are, no, but it’s worth a shot anyway.

Many people have tried that “angle of Protest” before and got no where because theOfficer was just doing his job.

In fact, when Both Village Officers each used cameras and even had to face down screaming, threatening Village leaders (caught on tape) both Officers held their ground and didn’t get intimidated.

As of Mar 2007, years after One Officers departure from theVillage!!
an former VPO / village police officer that helped him back in theVillage
has since been elected Chief and honorably serves thePeople.

gone are thePrevious Imbibing Chiefs that swerved before him / theVPO and even during Flyinghorse’ time in theVillage!!

Goodness is it’s own reward, both seen and felt by theLaw abiding and by theLaw breaking.
hoo yah!!!

7) What is the best way to train with my Village domicile partner in eventually meeting with and hopefully overcoming theVPSO / VPO!?

In spirit of the answers to the above question.

Mimick, mimick mimick!!

In this case of having to include your Domicile partner, especially if she’s theOne!! that you abuse and hurt every week.

Let her in on thePracticeSessions!! and let her hit and strike YOU / theCriminal with full speed and full force using her bare hands and any weapons available.

Chances are that she’ll be doing theVillage Officers a favor by eliminating her future SA / DVE, sex assaults, domestic violence events trauma and saving her family and Village overall.

8) Why does theSam!! point out all theDysfunction and other skeletons in theClosets and theGhosts in theTowns to everybody?

Because there are many Issues that we all need to face both Personal and Professional and you need to be able to identify them if you are to become a proficient Crime fighter, a Public Safety Officer / a Modern day Warrior as it were.

This Warfare profession isn’t a job, it’s more than a trade or craft.

It’s your life, whether keeping up on Talking / Interview & Observation techniques
and / or else closely observing people IRL / in real life around you and learning from that.

It’s your life, with every morsel of food you take in, how you use it.
To get fat or keep in shape and ready.

It’s your life, in how you walk and move everyday that let’s other Observant people know that you are not One to be messed with, that you are armed (to any degree) and that you will stop any aggressions that attempt to thwart the balance of our current Free Society.

You need to meet your own fears, prejudices and even your own Demons first
and see them in theLight of day.

Sit down with them face to face and deal with all this.

Then after learning from what you Have as Gifts, Talents & Weaknesses, then you can help others. and often people don’t want to change things by seeing theTruth.

You have to drag them kicking and screaming to meet their skeletons and to visit their Ghosts.

You need to see and face, overcome your own dysfunction to help others. Sad but true.

And on the flip side,
Glad but True, that in being an Law Enforcement Officer and doing it honestly.

You eventually realize that No one on thePlanet can scare you at all.
Because on a physical level, if you’ve trained in theRight systems (SCARS, TFT for example)
no one will ever frighten you no matter how bad they are.

Everyone is human and feels fear, but theFear!! we speak of overcoming will be theFear of Other people.

Everyone is theSame physically and can be broken, bent, twisted the same way,
or be killed the same way if necessary.

And if you apply some measure of Christianity in your life to help you keep on the straight and narrow path then that helps you even more.

As people always want to see theGood things in theAuthority figures around them.
WE are DRAWN to innate goodness that clean people just shine outwards to the world.

And on theFlipside of that example.
we are also repelled by some goodly people.

Young girls will run away from some Officers bent on helping them by screaming “Pervert!!”
and spreading rumor and gossip.

Not everyone can be saved though, but anyway,
Point being that you have to deal with yourself first and Overcome,
in order to see such things in Others and to know when societys Predators are around you.

9) Why does theSam!! seem to constantly show a complete disregard for polished sentences and structured paragraphs with coherent short thought,
Instead-he’s so verbose!?

theDamaged!! sees all things as a work in progress and so he assumes a multi-task,
multi-dialogue, multi-Food dish eating, Multi-Fight scenario (more than one attacker),
etc ad nauseum..

Maybe it started as a child, as we touched upon in an 2005 Blog entry,
when theCyclist!! fell with his bicycle and dazed himself on theIce covered street for a moment and reality shifted a bit.

Perhaps his young Noggin’ was changed (hopefully for theBetter!!) after that.

Perhaps it was when theHorseman!! was suddenly “superman”
after theGalloping mount decided to “Unseat” it’s boy rider
and face planted him in the fresh plowed fields of rural farmland Idaho years later?!

Adjusting his cranium and neck & back a few times and storing memories to pass onto his unborn children or else to theUnleashing of familial “Memories” by various physical trauma.

As theMan!! is aware that even memories from Centuries past, like ancestral genes, can be passed down generation to generation, to generation.......

Even in todays “civilized” world, theLakota!! is as much a Warrior as his ancestors were.

Still feels the dormant fire of Life inside him,
still feels thoughts and whisperings within him in sleep and awakefullness (zzzzzz)
Still feelss....

Wait...
Hold on...

*BBRRAAPP!!!*
oh.. never mind.

Damn tacoBell!!

Only this time in 2007yr,
the40!! yr old generator seems to be running OUT of gas and is in need of an oil change,
new spark plugs and an overall,

*ahem*

Overhaul!!

I mean, most men covet theNeed!! to be macho and to have done tough military things and join special units.

I’ve felt that way too, and in my own way have learned everything Navy, Army, Marines that I wanted to know and then learned Law Enforcement.

I don’t need schools, programs certs upon my wall and in my collection to feel Important.
I just am anyways by virtue of birth into a Noble Native race of Warriors.

I am born into this role of Protector and Watchman.

Unfortunately this Current Society of ours now feels theLegal need to hinder,
hamper and bind even us Protectors in serving thePeople.

this Current dominant society feels theNeed to pound into our heads
that Licenses, Certificates, Training, and Insurance.

And additional Ethical standards emplaced upon us will help us.

But very shortly this Current dominant society of ours is due for another attack upon our soil.
Our enemies struck in 2001 and they’ll hit us again, and again.....

As our world gets more and more chaotic, then it will be up to LOCAL protocol,
up to local ethics and quite frankly,

will be up to whomever is fit to lead and I will be one of those People if I survive any of these coming Attacks to America.

It’s in my blood, and due to my Grandpa’s apt descriptions of close in,
real life hand to hand combat as told to me when I was a child and up to my teenage years.

I have only listened to and sought out hand to hand combat Training similar to what My Warrior Grandfather taught me.

And throughout my life, it took a head rattle here,
a body slamming shake there and a fall over there
and a few body aching sessions of Sickness to align my life pointed to theDirection I was meant to go,

to do what I was meant to do and quite frankly, to be what I am.
It can best be described this way by People much better than me in regards to combat fighting training,

that most techniques are done of someone attacking you with the idea you just finished off another attacker and this guy is trying to blindside you or catch you unawares.

It makes you a much better fighter to train in this manner and mindset.
And real life is the same way too, you go from one conversation to theNext,

from one situation to theNext, and you need to adapt to each situation and learn from what you just experienced.

I just apply it to my Writing and runon most sentences and such.

Ramble and stumble, while looking ahead to see whats next around theCorner or down theStreet.

!!

10) Why don't you VPSO’s / VPO’s recommend using protective training gear for Village Council grillings and Tribal Court meetings?

Seriously?!

Because it’s kinda hard to be taken seriously in a Uniform and Ballistic Vest,
being overtly & covertly armed, tooled and equipped to theYellow!! teeth
and be attired in a Hockey mask and groin cup!!

One time I forgot that I had just come from a VillageChild’s!! birthday party and still had my festive Pointy hat on.....whilest wearing theMask and Groin cup.....

with tiny hand prints in white cake frosting on my back, chest and leg.
(silly kids!)

What!!??

Because theVillageChixxx!! and their Hand-to-Pocket!! techniques teaches you to attack the vital targets of theVPSO’s human body. That’s why.

Often protective gear covers these very open targets of each Officers boy.. er..
I mean ‘Body‘

For example, there‘s theSoftTraumaPack!! that gets placed in theSmallPocket of theBulletVest.
And theSTP / sof trauma pak being placed directly over theHeart!!

Because that is where each VillageChick!! intends to strike when first meeting you and Ever After!!

And she‘ll do it mercilessly and without remorse day in and day out by cooking delicious foods for you,

(which should explain theHockeyMask, as a way to keep an enterprising girl from opening up said mouth and spoon feeding....)

She’ll also be doing your laundry,
washing your car
washing your hair

washing your car off with her hair
washing YOU off with HER hair...

*yikes!!!*
(how do I strike out.. erase this!!??)

and by tattle-telling on everyone to you

AAALLLL in theHopes of getting to your Heart and IN your heart,
into your Life and especially into your Pocketbook and bank account..

Since your Vixen!! training partner is allowing you to use her body to learn targeting,
by pretending she’s theVillageCouncil / VillageTribalCourt!!,

with theVague hope that there is no OTHER competition for your heart, then that‘s another reason to never wear pads or to be padded up.

And it’s also even more reasons to practice, Practice, PRACTICE those various cuffing & restraining methods as you pretend she’s theVC / VTC!!

And as for Protection it’s also another reason to be condomed up!!

*yikes*.....

how do I erase this.....
darn Micro oh so soft.... word program.!!

Therefore the idea is to learn and learn and learn via theCuteOnlyVillageChick!! that thrusts herself and her heaving Bosoms!! into your life and get true physical reactions to properly code your brain & tired body for violent conflict..........erh.

With theVillage / VillageCouncil / VillageTribalCourt!! if ever such meetings take place.
And believe me, They Will!!

And other Protective Restraining Order....
I mean...

Other Protective Training Gear that you may have
includes full body Soft armor that is worn in an Carrier system either Under your duty / Uniform shirt or inside an OuterBallisticVest system and that soft armor additionally covers up your Back!!

For when any “alleged” friends,

Such as any female ProbationsOfficers that visit theVillage!! and talking to you,
testing your morality and testing to see if you drink, smoke, or live riotously and finding out that you DON’T.

They get upset and quietly fume and then,
before they leave yourVillage they’re whole mood changes from Friendly to terse.

Will then report back to your VPSO Director that you made certain comments and made light of the fact that you like to Touch your Baton and other Weapons / Tools “too much”

and that you like to “smile and take delight in talking of restraining or taking into custody” any of these female ProbationsOfficers clients that are there in your Village!!

And thus, theStabbing!! in theBack by fellow LawEnforcement professionals is eased somewhat by theFact that you wear body armor.

Yet, funny how Nothing was ever said to your Boss or theVillage!! for that matter about the two pistols Openly strapped to theBackpack that you wore and carried Always!! in theVillage and....
Carried in front of these girls that day they visited theVillage!!

It is no secret, that Every Industry, Trade and Profession has its “Secrets”.

Has it’s camaraderie and it’s closeness, especially when theClub you Join,
such as me being VPSO, is a Law Enforcement Club, that us Officers can talk to each other and perhaps, confide in each other and laugh and joke to a point.

All of theAbove was done to a Point and yet, somehow my actions were displeasurable to people whom I thought of as friends.

And never again did I ever think of them as such.
And never will.

We Officers deal with Other People’s lives,
and can often settle for leaning upon Dark / rude humor and such just to cope.

It’s a protective mechanism to a degree, and a way to label and typecast your Client or person you speak of and deal with.

Yep, body Armor helps.

I sure hope it helps one of these Young ladies that was Earlier, a part of an Shooting, drinking episode in a bar BEFORE she visited my Village and got all righteous with me.

Trix cereal has never been for Kids anymore!! and neither is Body Armor just for use against bad guys out to shoot or stab you.

It also protects you against people whom are supposed to be your buddies
NO MATTER WHAT!!

And true to my Profession,
I took theAlleged Pleasure-in-Abuse of Probationers solely upon myself
and excused theFine VPO that was with me that day.

Since, at theTime, in theState’s eyes, I was ranking Officer in theVillage!!

You see, that in utilizing theState’s method of Contact sparring in any Hand to hand combat system that you train in usually involves padding up in a RedMan suit,
which for the most part is all well and good.

But if you’re like theAuthor?? that’s been there and beyond via Other combat trainings
then theNotion!! of covering up and striking protected areas of the body
just builds up a false sense of confidence in all participants involved.

So Remember this!!

That when you get to theVillage!! or go back,
heck-Even if you don’t leave.

And a CuteOnly VillageChick!! wants to....eh. Spar with You.
Just ride bareback.
Go skin on skin and Learn!!!!

Oh.....

And do as theHighlandVillagers do by theFleshPillow FacePlants!!

This is real versus sport fighting.

bhhbhtbhthbhtbhbhtbhthtbhhtbhthbthbhth!!!!!!

11) I've heard that you don't recommend sneezing when ever certain Trouble makers in theVillage are quiet - what should be done instead?

Have you ever disturbed a Sleeping Bear?!

Or perhaps disturbed your mother or grandmaother when she was sleeping?!
Or disturbed any other person or thing that may suddenly do extreme violence to you,
like, say. A girlfriend or a Wife!!

As for me, I got used to having my arm numb from theGirlfriendz head resting upon it in Afterglow and then sleeping All night upon my arm & cutting off brachial blood supply.

Hey, I’ve got stringy, but tough arms! I ain’t no mesomorph...

You walk through theHouse, sneak through theLodge!!
You sneak through theVillage!! in hopes of not awakening theSlumbering “giant”, as it were,
for fear that they’ll pop-up off theFloor and be awake another Week on ANOTHER drinking spree.

You just don’t do it!!

It’s like lifting weights.

If you hold a dumbell, like all VillageChixxx!! when they hug their VPSO’s
(they hold a dumbell)

and you Bicep curl that dumbell up and then let it go back down while straightening out your arm, then you Lift again and Bicep curl,

Repeat.

Using that well-known example. (like your girlfriend.....Well Known!!)

A Range of Motion in an physical exercise movement to illustrate theFact that you Never EVER wake up a sleeping Villager.

This Village Range of Motion / Lift theDumbell up, is the only safe way to prepare for any type of physical contact with your sleeping Villagers upon them awakening!!

YOU!! dear Officer, are theDumbell.
And theVillage!! has you in it’s FistedGrip and they move you theDumbWeight around as they see fit.

And the sleeping, PassedOut Villager(s) you do not want to disturb
(Just Yet!) is theElbow of that Villages arm.

You both (theDumbell and theElbow) need to stay away from each other
and in true Village fashion, if things are done right.

You will stay away from each other.

I cannot.
Cannot!! stress this point enough.

Just stay the hell away from me dammit.....

Unless!! unless, “theElbow!!” has her hung-over elbow in your ribs or tummy
and a happy smile on her face.

Then, stay close to her!! Breathe in her scent, breathe in her hair, her skin,
take in those expelling Alcohol vapors from her skin and lungs and that left over Camel Lung from her Nostrils. Just live in theMoment.

Let thedamn phone ring!!, Mute it.
Don’t answer theDoor!!!

Let those gun shots down theStreet ring out,
let those crying Villagers that pound at your door and then leave go on with their business.
Let that Med evac helo come to your village!! all the while YOU as theDumbell keeps as far away or as close and still to theElbow as possible without disturbing her!!

After a point when her breathing settles down steady, then, using More body dynamics.
You can then deftly move Your Elbow quickly under & UP and above her head and then roll away.

Then go catch Hell from theVillage for not responding..........

As at this point in time,
of Minutes, Hours, Even Days!!
after theVillage!! needs you and you finally get there to theScene.
Everyone will be in an exercise state of....................HyperFlexion.

Hyperflexion as some people define it, takes a joint or ligament past its dynamic range of motion and some Instructors of mine say that this actually weakens the joint.

Which is true.

Because, now that you theResponding VPSO are late to an emergency because you didn’t want to awaken theBear!!

theStrong Joint or Ligament, theWorking Relationship that you took so long to build up with and keep solid betwixt you and theVillage(rs)!! is now weakened.

Because everyone got bent out of shape,
got in a state of hysterics and their body dynamics are all out of whack jumping up and down
and crying

So. in using theExercise example up above.

You never want to let theDumbell down and straighten your Arm out TOO Far
or else you’ll overstraighten your arm and injure yourself.

See!?
theSam!! has proof Positive things to tell you Blog readers.
And you thought I just made fun of Natives and poked at them, theState, at self and all.
Which, I do, but I also inform.
So.....

I’m tellin you.
Do not disturb theGirl!! and yet,
Don’t hyperflex theVillage!! unless.

Unless!!, one VillageGirl that just Udderly refuses to give you her car keys needs to have hands placed upon her and be searched head to cameltoe and toes.

Search and then take theKeys from her, at theHysterical Request of her relatives,
because she was seen earlier by several relatives Drunk Driving
and her young toddler kids hanging out the open car doors as she sped (40 to 70mph)
through theVillage!!

This is where your own ethical rules and Resolve are tested.

When you are alone with Mz DUI, and need to do what must be done and she’s uncooperative.
Silent, still,
Sitting on her bed and eyes closed.

As prepared as you might be for theOccasion!! You don’t have any cameras with you,
but you do have Audio recorders and you have exam gloves.

Because you do have to use your gloves and reach INSIDE of her to get those Keys.
You shut OFF any part of you that might enjoy and pervert this intimate moment,
as twisted as things are already,

You don’t need to sully yourself or her.
Do your job and be done, think about it later.

When, as you have learned to deal with such passionate, horrid, intimate experiences
and the accompanying feelings,

you also see yourself for what you are at that time
and for what you are becoming by staying in theVillage!!

A goodly man with unflinching resolve.

Who might, at some other times of his life, could have been into theMilitary
and gotten lost Serving there in Warriorship.

Been tasked to go inside other Countrys
and into other people’s homes to get inside certain Enemy’s of our Country.

To kill them, instead of retrieve an item.

Because at that time of your life,
You had just recently come from another State and were into a Medical Profession
and were around women and were, under much better more refined circumstances,

Inside of them and inside of their lives, in their heads and hearts, minds
and not to mention.....all over them as Massage Practitioner.

And you had Church, and goodly friends, and a close Fiance that grounded you,
anchored your soul and kept you from harm.

For it is a rare gift, to be able to get into a females confidence and into their life as necessary, very quickly and most intimately.

And at times in theVillage, there were Other females that needed help,
that needed someone to listen to them. And they trusted you. And still do.

It’s how you live your life and how others treat you, and how much they trust you that sets theGears in Motion, that bring on theNext challenges and trials,

that brings on theNext group of People that Need You theMost.

Village!! Range of Motion training actually strengthens and resets the body,
not to mention Aging in 9 1/2 yrs in over 2.5 yrs!! as evidenced by an 2005 Blog exerpt.

So lift those Dumbells and stifle those sneezes!!

12) Why do you go after so many Village targets in your Blog!?
Also what if your opponents strikes at you more than once via E-mails, phone messages and sending their kids over to quote AT you Verbatim!?

I endure so many strikes from so many Enemies because these people are under stress,
and you only lash out or hit at your “perceived enemies” when you are under stress.

It’s like this, I was tasked with Dog disposal one day.

It was required of me to shoot 2 dogs by a respected Village Elder.
Whom never threatened, never shouted, was never mean to me when asking for the dogs
removal.

But it’s just that when an much respected Village Elder speaks about something,
they also speak of theBeginning of theProblem and through to theEnd.

Much like theSamurai warriors of Japan long ago, whom for them,
to even speak a WORD about a person or a subject,
was to set in motion Action in helping or protecting......or killing such a thing.

And perhaps for them, they went back to theBeginning,
or theStart of theProblem and also to Beyond!!

And for an Elder to want two dogs gone was my mission that day in theVillage.

On a quiet street I quietly pumped two bullets into the head of one family dog.
Took it away.

Later that day I found theOther nuisance dog.
But this young pup would prove to be a challenge.
Because this dog never stopped moving.

This young one was restless, driven to constant motion by sickness,
by worms, by hunger and other factors I cared not to learn.

I quietly followed it around theVillage!! and then, in a moment when it was running in a 10’ circle and criss crossing back and forth as if it were in some invisible barrier.

I assessed theBackground trees as being barrier enough to stop any bullets from hitting any houses behind them, and emptied a 10round .22 rifle clip into theMoving sled dog.

It went down yelping and biting at it’s perceived threats,
it clamped down on it’s ribs where a bullet entered,

It bit it’s back leg where a bullet tore through and bounced beyond into the trees.
It kept biting at theAir and then it fell over dead.
Alll this in about 4 seconds.

thePoor Mutt never did anything to anyone.
And yet, ended up sick and had to be shot by me.

And again, I shut myself OFF from feelings.
My resolve rose up, like bile in my throat, and chill up my back.

Like the quiet knowledge that I would get through this event alright.
Like you as an Adult, can see a table or chair and know that you can move it or nudge it and it moves. But why?!
Because you can,

So in our own, human state, in our strength that we gain throughout life,
and for many of us that go further in Spiritual and oftimes Intellectual development
(not that I’m There in that crowd)
that you know that you can just do things and don’t worry about it.

Killing dogs was unpleasant but I did it.

I even found a morbid whimsical fascination with taking a few pictures of such animals and posting a warning up to theVillage!!

Watch your dogs and take care of them......or else!!
But I didn’t keep those postings up long anyway.
Sorry to abuse them Mutts like that.
What the hell was I doing?!

But anyway.

In dealing abruptly, plainly, honestly with Inebriate and with Sober criminal Villagers
I just took a deep breath and did theWork.

When ever various trusted Villagers spoke up about alcohol or certain people in their midst,
there stood I-before such people (eventually) and I put them in the Hot seat.

Put them into a corner and made them face up to what they were and what they did.

Nobody likes to be called on the carpet for anything,
especially if it’s criticism of what they’re doing.

But when looking at things from the Perspective of Goodly Villagers seeing Wrongs being done and seeing Alcohol and drugs as being part and parcel to theProblem,

I had no problem at all with going into various Homes (day or night)
Whether I was invited or not, to do what it took to fight theIllegal flow of Alcohol into theVillage.

Today, we see on CNN tv,
Our brave Soldiers stacking up outside of brick and stone houses or buildings in Iraq.
Perhaps they raid compounds and find weapons, or other bad things that are used against them by Terrorists.

And in the end they feel justified by barging in on familys and innocent people.
And rightly so,

But on the flip side, our Soldiers Invade peoples homes and they too,
terrorize thePeople of Iraq in some fashion.

But it’s all well and good!! We are Americans!!
And damnit, if no other country in theWorld will stand up and LEAD with unflinching resolve then we will, as we currently ARE leading theWay.

So too,
in theVillage!! are there brave men and women both IN and OUT of uniform that lead their LOCAL fight on alcoholism, domestic violence and other assaults.

Those men and women have to go into people’s homes and lives,
and upend things to get results.

They have to step on certain people’s Civil liberties and step on certain people’s civil rights.
And in a heartbeat, they have to do Violence to certain people to protect themselves,
and thus protecting theSleeping Villagers all around and elsewhere in theRegion.

Those Officers and Villagers that do such work even protect the rest of theState!!
Because when you toss a Rock into a Pond, the ripples keep on going.

And likewise, when bigCity police lock up criminals, they too Protect the rest of theState from such Predators.
So we all look out for each other.

Or at least we should, and this is where I get bent out of Shape when theState purposely neglects it’s current and past serving VPSO and VPO’s

When I was at theAcademy, none of theTroops class pictures on the Sacred walls were current.
No one was keeping records of who graduated even 10yrs before VPSO Class 29 went through.
Yet everywhere, was evidence of thePride that theState took in honoring themselves and Other Police agencies Statewide.

But no sight, sound or peep about it’s VPSO’s. And mind you, this program was started in the 1970’s here in Alaska by theStateTroops.

You’d think they’d get things right after almost 3 decades going on now.
We need to help each other completely, in what ever capacity, and serve one another.
Else we fail in our Mission, whatever that may be.

Out in theVillages, we go on theOffensive, to a degree, and we never feel sorry for doing it until later on when we think about things.
Stop worrying about what Your Attacker does or did, or will do and hit your target as you see fit.
If you even lose momentum and stop being on the Offensive then you are not effective.
As in Combat training you do multiple strikes to get you to focus on taking out your attacker and to compensate for missing. Like that one Sick sled dog that I had to shoot multiple times.

And likewise, when covering “alleged”, or “certain events”, or even when drawing up fictitious events that are based upon Real Life circumstances and posting to Blog!!
I hit many people, hit many subjects and I haven’t stopped yet.

You progress as you successfully hit each target.

I have been angrily challenged by some mentally challenged Village leaders.
I have been bombarded with hateful emails and have even had Vandalism done to my Living Quarters, to my home, to my Offices, to my vehicles.

I’ve suffered theInconvenience of it all and more.
And I still do my job of being someone in theRight!! that calls the shots as I see them.

I am just a person, a small place and Thing. And nothing more.
And I have accepted this Eternal weight of responsibility and will gladly suffer theAttacks from others.

Because my place is in theRight, is on a Moral solid ground. is high and I see a Big picture of the work I do.

That’s all you do when attacked by others.
Keep on working.

You keep on doing what you do because when you stir up a Person or a Group of People,
You’ve also stirred up someone else, or Others much bigger than your immediate enemies.

And that is where the Stress comes from.
It’s not your immediate enemies that you fight, it’s someone much bigger that angers against you.

You’re doing a great job.
You’re making your enemies feel pain, pain that, inspite of your own Unflinching resolve that keeps this pain Immediate from you,
it also helps you to deal with such issues when your healing begins.

As we all know, that anyone in any form of conflict or aggression, regardless of which side they’re on, is hurt. Is damaged, is wounded.

As I have been,
as I have felt,
as I was,
and still.......will be.

Public Safety is my profession. Though I currently stand alone, I am never alone.
I am a Warrior, and soon the day will come once again to our Civilization
that no bombs, or guns or machinery but our own Inner Resolve,

Our own reputation and our standing amongst our Peers will help us.
Our own hands will have to save us and other around us.
There’s just something spiritual and cleansing about hand to hand combat practice for me,
who individually is At War!!

13) Since theVillage!! nerve is one that is easily pinched by a Loose or Careless jaw-bone,

thus giving theVPSO’s and VPO’s theEvidence and clout they need to strike,
producing the knockout Strike to theCouncil and all Imbibing cronies bootlegging operation,

should I be careful about doing celebratory Jello shots in sequence with theFirst grandaughter followed by theBest friend and then her 2nd Cousins etc, from their Belly-buttons??

Or should I just stick to where it’s safe? to theSide of their tender necks or above a Breast next to theHeart?

The possibility to pinch theVarious Village Nerve plexis
(that vast quantitative network of gossipers and idlers whos mouths can be moved for a price)
exists with a jaw strike, as well as a baton strike to theHead, and even several kicks to theTorso

but theAmount!! of damage delivered thus- is determined by the angel of theBlow.

Sequenced Council & Village oriented strikes / kicks when properly applied put a tremendous amount of Stress on theLeading Bootleggers and major DVE players.

When talking of such Bootleggers and anyone that commits DVE upon their familys, then trauma upon their human bodies is discussed, mulled about and heartily acceptable!!

The celebratory Jello-shot sequences you describe could very well be relationship-fatal to you dear Officers, due to the fact you are simultaneously tugging at theHopes, theDreams, theHeart strings of some very Influencial VillageGirls!!

It’s always best to pull a Jello-shot from theNaval of your very own VillageChick!! first, then go after her best friend and subsequent friends. And don't forget the Whipped Cream either!!

Remember that in LEO & Military there exists a hiarchy, an important ladder of authority to respect and follow,

and to disrupt such an equally dangerous Village domino chain when dealing with your Girls will be most Injurious to you, perhaps Fatal!!

Remember, to just stay away from their soft tender necks at all costs, because, quite frankly,
No VillageCouncil or self-respecting VillageVampire Leader will ever want anyone like YOU to be around anyone’s neck!!

Those backwards, life-sucking, hateful spiteful people and their cronies will cry foul if you even appear to be feasting upon your Vixens (as they feed upon their Victims!!)

14) What exactly is theMFANG money making method? And how can I apply it to training my young teens in my Village!?

The overall Village!! method is a financial training technique designed to overload theBankAccount!!, theBody and Soul!!, theUconscious & Conscious mind with more information than it can possibly handle or even memorize.

The acronym MFANG, is YourVillageCalled!! speak for; Member, Federation of Alaska Natives Group.

And though a young sweet VillageChick!! can pretty much also do theStuff described in theFirst paragraph, theVC!! never asks you to memorize any multitude of things,
just her name, fave music, her birthday, her breakfast & bra size, her....

As you dear Readers surly know by now that all theVarious Groups within YVC Inc (doh!!) regions has had or will have or does have or once had having had a hadder..

Does now possess!!, an acronym to help you remember theCollective group name.

But remember that we’re dealing with MFANG!! And they are by and large, carnivorous.
They have Fangs!! and they are all Members see?!, MFANG.
Fangs to sink their teeth into Your hardearned VPSO / VPO money!!

So, here and now know that pretty much,
if it’s a Villager!! of any gender, age, then IT is an member of MFANG.

But in order to be businesslike and have corporations and commercial bank accounts and eventually-Offshore bank accounts etc. TheNatives have gone high tech and are pretty much here and now-IN theInformation age as well.

If you don’t believe me,
Just remember to an Blog posting, circa 2005 when a certain VPSO wrote.
of an experience he had when in theMidst of apprehending some Village Bootleggers and was about to make arrests.

You heard Old lady feet softly shuffle into theMess and theOfficer stopped what he was doing and politely addressed, “Granma B”, as everyone calls her.

Granma Bea!! had in her possession, given to her buy her own bank / financial institution, an small Credit-Card with a Visa logo on it and all theGadgets installed upon it.

Granma B interupted theVPSO’s alcohol bust to “swipe” her Platinum card in front of theNameTag of theVPSO’s ballistic vest.

And automatically theOfficer started to dispense a few hundred dollars in 20 bills to Granma B.
yep folks!!

That’s how it is in theVillages!!

The Villagers will interupt your life at theMost inconvenient times to ask for $ / money!!

No mountain is literally high enough that they won’t attempt a crossing to get to you!
No river is wide enough either,
and no Valley low enough, only their scruples.

Oh, it all starts small and innocently enough,

theVillage!! SobrietyWalk is next month and hey,
Could you like, just donate $10 before this coming Friday?, Please!!

Then the following week, you are asked again,
if you could just give $20 or even $50 to Lil’ (insert sick Village kids name here) and his family?
Or else, you’ll be asked to donate to this that and the other.

It snowballs people!!
It gets bigger and bigger,

Much like an unopened bag of baking flour sitting out of theWay in theCupboard down UNDER theKitchen sink,

Just minding it’s own damn business when suddenly,
this bag of flour is later on, focused upon by Not-So-Sober hands and ripped open
and F-L-U-N-G!! into theAir to dust everyone in theHouse.

As each minute of Domestic Violence and Assaults happen and you theVPSO attempts to arrest and detain, theWhiter pretty much Everyone gets and everything!!...
for that matter.....gets whiter.

And it’s all your damn fault for knocking on th....

Wait. It’s all your damn fault for being there in theVillage!! in the first place.
YOU have theMoney / $,
YOU owe THEM!!

To apply this Mentality of Entitlement to your slew of young Village minds, and to further reinforce it upon theOlder minds of thePeople. via Greed training

you must learn Every HandOut Plea technique after Inebriate Transient HelpMePlease!! shoutings from across theStreet!! techniques and you are not to memorize the techniques themselves per se.

Just memorize theReason!! behind the movement and it will all fit into place, like an $5, 10, or even a $100 cash bill in your hand!!

The number of Stick-theHandsOut!! movements in each Begging technique eventually would make it impossible for you to memorize a significant number of “Give me”, “Give to Me!! techniques anyway.

You then must rely on your free time in theVillage!! to develop your MoneyAsking skills. In fact, if you live in theVillage!! you have lots of free time anyhow.

The physical coding employed
(and for you Mentality Entitlement thinkers out there I use theWord “Employed” loosely here)
when you learn a Palm-Up / Fingers-Cupping shape!! in an MFANG Financial-Seek!! technique seemingly becomes available to you "automatically" or "without thought".

And we’re just talking Grass roots level of asking for $ folks.

We’re not getting into theHolding of Bakesales, theSelling of One’s own precious Mukluks and gloves from their feet and hands just to make a buck!,.......
um. yeah, we pretty much are.

As I said in a most recent 2007 Blog posting.
That everything in Life I learned from my Kintergartners!!

And much of what they learn is theValue of $ / money and Where / from Whom it comes from!!
That Schooldays Blog diatribe is the result of the overloaded principal of the YVC Inc (doh!!) sponsored, Alaskan / Village Almalgamated-AVA approved method.

Like an sudden extreme SA / DVE, I’ll put it to as quickly and bluntly as I can without all theAssociated Trauma and bloodshed,

But this type of Village!! training completely bypasses the conscious mind
(which in most Village cases is a RARITY!!, in being conscious)
and implants the necessary info in the subconscious mind which is far more powerful and (oddly enough) more valuable under stress.

And when I say stress, I mean of theDVE, just been Sex Assaulted / SA kind,
of having to do something meaningful to get $ and gain some form of satisfaction in your life.

Or theStress of not having enough fundz and having to “speak to certain Law Officers just to be nice to them etc etc etc, in theVague hope of being able to ask for $ from them”

And just how “Big” and “Full” those subconscious Implants are,
like real life under theBreastTissue implants that all VillageChixxx!! undergo (eventually),

is evident in theRealLife physical manifestations,
of things like Prideful Looking down upon Other People,

theLooking down ones Nose at friends, family, co-workers and other Natives for not being Native / White / Rich / Powerful / smart etc, enough!!

theLooking down upon things beneath that are beneath You!!, and refusing to be Charitable and kind with your own time and talents and possessions you have. Much later to theDetriment of your family through tragedy visited upon you.

theCausing of One Native to act all callous and cold to Other natives and not speaking to them, not hiring them for work, to adopt an expression that is similar to see a person eat a Lemon!!

Their face gets puckered, they close their eyes and mostly look away.

theGrabbing of Ones own infant child and scooping theBastard!! up into your arms and coldly Glaring at the friendly efforts of playfulness and introduction by certain newcomers to theVillage!!

theInsults and Taunts to certain Village newcomers that only mean to help you and your people. To lie about them, to threaten them, to label them pervert and molester.

These things go on and on. So for now, Train your VillageGirls with what is already established Local protocol and let theWeepings and Pleadings begin!!

15) Why doesn't theSam!! ever use Cigarette butts when in Violent confrontations with his Villagers!?

With the myriad of weapons available to you inside a Village!! house, like that group of 5 hunting rifles leaning against theWall over there, or those recurve & glass compound bows hanging up on theWall right there,

Granma’s cooking skillet collection stacked on theStove, theBlock of various cooking knifes too within easy reach, etc, etc!!

theSam!! feels that the use of theCigarette butt as a weapon is an extremely poor choice.

Notice that he said, poor choice not that it won't inflict damage!! And not that having such an innocent looking “harmless” item is any less valuable than a firearm, etc.

theVPSO!! feels that he’d rather rattle someone elses CPU tower or throw someone’s Monitor around their house than use a Cigarette butt as distraction.

And it is a distraction!! You see, people who smoke place value upon any amount of “stub” left upon theCigarette butt. Having this tidbit of knowledge has saved theSafety!!’s life many times in theVillage.

During one event when a Village man was inside his house with his rifle intent upon harming himself and theSam!! was able to enter the house and could see that the Young man was nervous.

Out came the pocket collection of cigarette butts with various amounts of clean looking, unused, unsoiled cigarettes!!

theIncident was soon over as theYoung man was happily puffing away in Custody!!

This temporary incapacitation, of placing yourself under influence of alcohol and cigarettes, you inflict on yourself leaves you vulnerable. And Sam!! knew enough in theVillage!! to exploit this weakness by oftimes collecting even New, unused cigarettes and even keeping a bottle or two of alcohol in his pockets to pull out in times of Village crisis and talk to Misdemeanants & Felons alike and their eyes were riveted upon the items ever more.

As stated in other Blogs, theHands that hold the new pack of cigs and the unopened whiskey bottle are hands that rule theVillage!!

16) I observe that you write about the proper term to use on a Young Village girl that is coming for your groin, your pants pocket line or even higher for your Heart!!,

but that you do not show what to do when an extremely low Diamond Willow strike is aimed at your shin or even ankle.

*sigh*

And you’ll also notice that I exhibit extreme caution around and do have much respect for Village Elders!!

Because it is they that are doing theAttacks to your shins and ankles while you are inside their house late at night tossing unwanted guests out.

Like sugar in your coffee, just take your “Lumps” from theDiamond willow canes because those Low attacks are always from an Elder, them being so short, small, cute and all.

Remember that those big tall, huge beautiful VillageChixx!! that you now oggle and fuss about will be less than 3’ tall and all Yoda looking in another 70 to 80 yrs if they survive long enough.

In fact, do nothing!!

(the Rest of theFAKES to be added later on when theAuthoritagghhh!!!! has more time,
besides, it's his day off!!

theSpartan movie, 300 is da' bomb baby!!

peace.
theSam!!