Top ADN Stories

Aside from various emails I get (often from myself!! reminding me of Updates I've blogged etc)

I get these gems in Text form, crossing my Inbox from AnchorageDailyNewzzz!!
and I just couldn't resist expanding upon theHeadliners or commenting upon them...

top stories
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-Shoppers plot strategy like they're going to war

womenkind pretty much 'go to war' everyday,

what with theWarPaintMakeUp and cranial protection applications that is "HelmetHead hairspray",

Man they look great, smell great don't they?!

-Just what would drive a man to sleep in his RV in the parking lot of Barnes & Noble so he could be first in line at Wal-Mart (at 3 a.m.) the day after Thanksgiving?

It's called "theWife!! !!" / "Girlfriend!! !!!" and could include their mothers!!!! !! ! and lastly,

it also includes that household item that Everyman, including me, has come to accept, theSofa!! !!

Sleep on that or else pretty much campout 3 days in advance in the Bitter cold just so you can save a space for theGirls!!!! when the store doors open.

-Ethics training lacks a final test

I'm going to change a word on that oftQuoted,
"If it looks like a Duck" quote and say,

If it looks like a Buck ($ / money / dollars) smells like a Buck, and is colored green like a Buck, it probably is.

I mean, during our VPSO training at theAcademy,
theStateTroops brought in long haired, scummy looking, chain smoking, whiskey breathing, drunken, dirtBag underCover officers and they taught us about Drugs,

and among other things, as part of theDrugTraining Finale!!
they lit up a bud of Matanuska's finest!! !! !

and let the smoke waft over to us so we Officers could get a whiff of what to keep our nose tuned to wwaaaayyyy out in theVillage!! when ever we met pot smokers,

So, citing that drug demonstration for us Academy graduates,
I'd say, for just about any public official now adays, in any office trainings & such,

Include "PresidentWashington" as part of the training and tell them, NOT to accept large suitcases, stuffed garbage bags,

also little envelopes stuffed full of such "bucks" stamped with faces of dead Prezidents on it, from

ooh.
Say,

Oil company's,
Lobbyists,
Cronies in WA D.C.
etc.

This is where Nunz!! or even priests could make a killing people.
They could stop abusing half theGeneralPublic, and make a decent living giving these MoneyEthics classes.

The premise is, they go around hosting these "ethics" classes and then, when dangling theDollar bills before their power Suited, well heeled clients,

they smack theHands that grab for cash with rulers, sticks, belts etc.

It'll work.

-Dumpster divers' work can continue in Fairbanks

now it's official. theSam!! has competition!!
And how long has THIS been going on?! !!?

If I had a car I'd disappear over a weekend and go see what the fuss was all about!!
But then again,

Both restaurants where I work at had to let some of theKidz go,
Maybe Gwen & Dani, and tom are dumpster diving in Fairbanks,

Gwen always had cute makeup and slick laquered hair,
then I realize now, that her Starry-eyed expression and glitterEyed makeup with stiff Helmet-head hair was probably cos she dumpster dived various hardware stores
for cast off spraypaint,

besides, she always had cute clothes anyway,
and I do recall seeing 2 young girls slinking away into theShadows by this one Goodwill DonationBox (in summer 2006) when I was RovingSecurity and would drive around MidTown area.

Now that I think about it, I'm probably right, cos "thoseGirls" I saw run away with clothes & other items, staggered under theWeight of some bundles,

and I recall now, some of those LayedOff ServerGirls & boys "carried" their 20 dishes per arm and balanced drinks on their heads in theBars where they worked,

man, they were awesome Serverz,

on theOther hand, maybe my PublicSafetyCareer can be found up there!?
Huddled and shivering behind a dumpster,

Like I found it under theAcademy that one day looking for water leaks after OfficerTim and Officer Jorg left theShower water in theWomenz Dorm wing running....

i hate pushups,
ok.. moving on.

-Winter recreation around town all but rained out

Well.

Seems the rains are putting a damper on various VehicleSports.

Activities like;
"Pin theBumper on thePedestrian!!",
"5thAveFrogger!!" (of which I have been a live participant!!)

and "JengaFrogger!!" where extremely hot female Bosses get you to do stuff for them,

but they park miles away from theBar!! and you have to carry stuff, stack it carefully on their office desks etc,

"oh.. and hurry up would you!? theParkingMeter runs out in 4mins."

Damnit,
this whole concept that I have come to accept of
"if it has tits & a womb-Respect it!!" has ruined me.


-Stories from Soldotna help nourish the spiritually hungry

if soldotna is located near theValley!! you can see my point here I'm trying to make,

that basically any Stories from theValley also help nourish thePhysically *cough-cough / Inhale!! Cough-cough* hungrreee tooooooo mmmaaaann....

Wait...
What am I saying!?
This is Alaska and we have theBest!!
silly me,

scratch that last statement and instead...
Stories from anyCity / Town / Village!! in AK help nourish.....

(YVC Inc EditorzNote!!,
theSam!! is making drug references to *cough..* make fun of theValley, as everyone in the free world knows that *cough, INHALE!!, cough-cough*,

the matanuskaValley, north of Anchorage is home of the best Pot in the world!!
and in Sam!!'s lil' fevered brain, when he hears the words,
"Valley", and "hunger" he equates that with pot use...

I dunno, he's been out in theVillage!! too damn long,
*cough-cough-cough, INHALE!!, Drools*
Chellse Stalker, YVC Correspondent, Respondent and ofTimes, Despondent!!)

-5 a.m., Wal-Mart: Ready for combat shopping

Is this a typo!?

no.. Not MY writings. But the "5 a.m" statement.

I thought an earlier Newsheadline stated that 3 a.m. was the time...
Oh never mind.

I hate shopping and all references to it,
but on theOtherHand!!

theSam!! lovs to sit at McDee's and eat the #3 meal w/Cheese!!

Spine-crunching ski crash wasn't in her game plan

Ouch, I feel for this skiChick!!,

but if any of you "Old" / People like me forum readers can remember,
back in early 1980's was it?

when theSports time on weekends, abc sports I believe,
would show file footage in theOpening scenes, and theSportsAnnouncer would intone

"theThrill of Victory - and theAgony of Defeat!!"
as that poor downhill skiier would tumble, flip & fall down hill.

btw,
Great footage!!
I loved it!!

-Ski off that turkey? Not at Alyeska

yah people.

I've met "one of them!!"

stood behind her and her friends at StarBucks,

some office worker types, lithe, lean, Mothers, wives, and pissedOff!!
that they can't ski this time of year.

And I had to listen to my headphones a skosh louder cos,
I didn't want to remember "LastNovember 2006"

when snow fell, winds blew, temps plummeted and I was miserable walking back & forth to work at UncleTeddies!! (theAnchorageAirport)

but thank god I can lip read theBarristaGirls!!,
either that or I've been there at theStore so much,

the Co. charges my CC when I even go Downtown!!
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thank you.
I'm theSam!! and that's Newzz enuf!!

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