Another royal Edict from theAlaskanPrincess!! herself..........

ya' know.
If you ask me, SHE should go FIND herself....
but I'm just sayin'!!

A Reminder to All Wait, Bar, Janitor Staff
.......yes, You too Sam!!

It is not the responsibility of the KitchenCrew to do your side work or to clean up after you.
(Escept for you Sam!!, since you’re theMinority here and our token Native!!, it is your responsibility to scrubby-scrubby those pans and sweepy-sweep up after everyone else)

WaitStaff
-At the end of your shift please make sure the following is done.

-All of your side work is done i.e. butter, catsup, coffee, tea etc.
And if you wonder where to put things away, just leave it and Sam!! will put them away for you,

I mean, you'd think he'd have learned his lesson from his Navy days when oldSailors would prey upon thePoor Sailorboy by telling him to do various tasks

like getting 50' of "ChowLine",
Getting some gym socks from DaveyJones' locker,
like putting theAnchor away!!

But apparently theSam!! hasn't learned a darn thing from doing MessDeck duties inService.

Which is plain to us when last week, someone locked theSam!! in theDryGoods storage room (again)

a Box of Wine, a Loaf of bread and Sam!! go hand in hand like theTwoServerGirls!! I whipped and beat OnLine!! just for the OverSight of LEAVING a case of bottled water and a case of Wienhards root beer INSIDE theDryGoods room.

Never do that again!!
remove all Liquids before you lock Sam!! in theDGS room please!!

now. Where was I?!
oh yes......

-Plates are to be scraped clean and not to be left for theSam!! to clean of food every time uneaten scraps cross his DishRack top,

geeze Louise... you'd think that we never fed him around here or something.
See how big he is!?

and that also means knives and forks are separated into separate containers so that theDummo / DMO / dish Machine Operator!! doesn’t cut himself!! (again)

yes, I know our past Dummo's have lamented their meager pay checks and opened a vein or two and ran into the woods screaming, look at the bright side though,

have ANY bears been sighted here by theLodge since then!? I think not, therefore I rest my case!!

I don't object to "clean" unused / undrunk (Ha!!) wine being given to theDummo!!,
in fact, I will fire any ServerGurl or Boi on theSpot whom doesn't walk away from theSam!! and his Starched shirt isn't Grape stained from shooting down alcohol.

In fact if you have wine splashes upon YOURSELF from making him Drink your customers leftOvers, fine with me, though I wouldn't embrace him too tight (boys!!) when shooting liquor to him by mouth!!

Which reminds me.
I hope everyone had a chance of watching the new SexHarassmentVideo that I have been playing on a Loop over theHouse BigScreen alllll week.

What with Reality and Fantasy, Life and Celluloid (not to mention Cellulite!!) meeting and meshing on the big screen and on radio nowdays,

I just decided to skip ordering those outrageously expensive Food Server and Hospitality series vids from theStateHealthDept (which also sells those Law series SexHarassmentVids) and I went directly to

CastleMega Imports online and ordered "BigBust" series and "theGroupGrope" series and theEuroImports series "Grape Gape" and "Thai me, Beat me, Feed me"

Those videos oughtta cover any SexHarassment issues for the next 3 months at least.
annnnddd. Moving on.

-Prior to 9am for breakfastShift, and prior to Noon for lunchShift, and prior to 3pm for theDayServers, and again at 7pm and at 10pm, all dirty dishes are to be brought back to thePit!! where theDummo!!'s can wash and scrubby-scrubby to their hearts content.

Please. all Wait, BarStaff, USE theDamn CushionFoam earPlugs I bought for YOU all PRIOR to taking said dirty dishes back to thePit.

I get tired of Marni, Lexxi, tom, robert and sometimes... Me!! just parroting those ticked off profane DishWashers when they keep seeing us bring stacks of dirty dishes to them....LOL

No Tiff, no Elle, No Brooklyn and No NO NO!! macy.

You may call yourselves "Dirty Dishes" too in your personal lives but when you're on clock working for me thePrincess!!

You're my bitches, Got it!?
besides, we bought new DishMachines cos the old ones got gummed up from Washing you girls down so much every day.

btw, I have some unclaimed fishNet stockings and a stilletto heel in my office!!

*sigh*
all these Mini-Crisis going on,
you're turning my blonded Pubes gray!!
and speaking of which.....

-All dirty napkins etc, are placed in the laundry basket at the end of each shift,

No Tiff, no Elle, NoBrooklyn and No NO NO!! macy.

No "used" feminine hygiene products are to be placed in theLaundry basket.

Brooklyn, we appreciate your goingGreen and auNatural this year working for us sweetheart,

theBoys!! luv your little Green "Lawn" down below, and theTouristGuests love your shunning of Acrylics, Lycra, Spandex, Cotten, Wool, Rayon and pretty much every item of manmade clothing that isn't environmentally sound, but dear....

that still does NOT give you the right to make my used Laundry go "Red", if you know what I mean.

and what theHell am I giving this lecture for again...
I meant dirty Linen napkins,

You know.
those white, red, blue or black squares...

Yes Elle, those White clothes theBoys placed on you and squirted with water, them!!
Those are D-I-R-T-Y napkins that our customers use for wiping their Mouths off of food and drink when eating and then when drinki....

*sigh*
No Elise, when theLinen comes back from theLaundry room, they're "clean" and....

no elise,
those Red, Black and Blue marks on your body from your Boyfriends and from me too, (but only from that one One NightStand!! of which I promptly billed you for, for me breaking it over you afterwards when we made out!!) are called Bruises.

No elise,
it's called you being a total biotch when you drink and..

no elise,
that's your Hair that Sam!! uses when you take his food to him on NightShift, he should be using one of them Linen napkin....

Yes Eliese, I know that theTomato juice really does a number on your new hair color of theDay, but honestly,

if he gets that close to you just place HairClips all over your head and he won't wipe his mouth....

Elise...
You're doing IT again....
shut. up.

onto theNext item!!

-Please clean up the bread area before you leave.
Use theLinen napkins, use your damn hair!!

use Sams!! mouth for crying out Loud, just clean up the damn crumbs when you finish cutting bread for the freaking guests!!

BarStaff
Please do not leave any BarWears in theKitchen or theDishPit area.
All theGirls wear next to Nothing anyways so it shouldn't be that big of a deal to keep track of an itsy bitsy thong or one leg stocking!!

You idiots are part of the reason why I replaced all theDishMachines too!!
and ha ha ha...

very funny using Kelly's fancy WireCup bra as Sieve for theBisque seasoning and her HipHugger bottoms as Strainer for theDeepFryer Oil,

yet.. she does look kinda cute "straining" to squirt out that last ounce of oil seasoning for Salad stations doesn't she!? You can see every vein on her face, neck, her chest, her arms.....

and speaking of which.
Sorry Cameron. You stood too close to msKelly when we had her warm up and Dispense theVanilla Creme Brule.

When she squats rreeaall deep and grunts that means she's gonna grab onto the closest thing for support and also just to squeeze and crush as she bears down her sphincters...

hope your broken arm heals nicely.

-all fruit caddys, all Reading & Drinking glasses, all cushions and floor mats, etc are to be cleaned by YOU at the end of your shift and removed from theKitchen.....

again I say, I don't care how you do it.

use your tongue, use theSam!!'s tongue, use Kelly's thong, use macy's hair, I don't care how it's done,

for heaven sakes, use MY hair if you must, Just clean up your messes you and Kelly!! make on shift when you close,

because I do not expect to spend 30mins cleaning your mess every morning!!
.....unless.

unless someone has a hold of my long hair, is calling me filthy names and is slapping my face and using Hot water & bleach!!

Janitors
Please remove all trash cans and mopbuckets from Kitchen.
That's what a broom closet is for.

To store stuff in, and like India and Reece, or Sian & her boyfriends and including ME sometimes!! wooot!!

uhm... yeah. to store stuff in.

and if you find any one of theDummo's passed out in the broom closet from drinking,
at least have theDecency to turn OFF the water if they pass out while filling up the Mop buckets.

Wait..

no no...
scratch that.
Belay my last.

If theSam!! is passed out drunk again, and the water is left on-Running.

Just splash some bleach and floorCleaner!! around him cos he's gonna Wee-wee his pants soon after,

But if Marne or Godiva!! are passed out with HIM,
make sure their butts are beet Red,

you know how disappointed those two MasoKists get when they wake up from drinking and theSam!! hasn't even finished "Massaging" them tushes yet, but passed out groping.

Just pour water on bare skin and grab a broom handle and welt-Welt away!!
50 to 100 strokes per girl should do the trick,

and be nice to theSam!!
when you're done beating girl flesh....

place the broom handle in HIS hands.
No one else will do the Lowly kitchen cleaning work anymore, so we gotta keep theBoy!! happy any way we can.

Lastly, this is just for you theSam!!
please remember that theKitchen IS NOT a buffet area,

please do not put your band-Aid wrapped, lotioned Up, double gloved & heavy Vinyl asbestos lined glove wearing dirty hands into the food on theLine, it is unsanitary,

Never mind that your fellow KitchenStaff and Cooks, especially theLeadLineChefs are even more unsanitary,

have felony records and no less than 3 dozen tattoos each and no matter how much spinach and broccoli they may burn,

no matter how many bottles of whiskey they may secretly drink on shift, that still doesn't cover up the stench of Camels upon them when they work,

btw.. do you notice theCamel stench when Sia works or is it just me!?

I mean, I've stopped smoking but I still think I smell VirginiaSlims..

*shrugs*

oh well.

For you Grazers!! we have times in which you can order food, they are after 7am or 2pm for DayShift and after 6pm and 9pm for NightShift,

Please stick to these hours or I'll ban you from eating for a week!!
which reminds me,

I have to get new key'd locks for theEnclosed Trash Dumpsters,
Install 20 extra feet of barbed Razor wire on theTop and closed circuit tv cams to keep theKids already Banned - Out of theDumpsters.

And please refrain from eating theHouse bread as it is there for Guests!!
I know who took those 3 loaves of Bread last month marni, Godiva & sia!!

You walked into theKitchen, looked around and then took the bread,

"Hid" the loaves and waddled out of theLodge!!

lovs,
thePrincess Emp!!
(emp as in Employer!!)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Poop Moose Has Bottomed Out!!!

theSam!! vs YouTube!?

ELECTION DAY 2006