Are You In theHoliday Spirit Yet!?
More of BaristaSam!!'s How To Tell.....
Are you in theHolidaySpirit yet?!
-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
you quit turning your greenApron inside out and upside down and backwards
to hide the milk stains cos she never complains about it NOT being Clean anymore.
-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
your Kiosk runs out of Vanilla and WholeCoffeeBeans, she sneaks off to the CoffeeAisle in theSupermarket and returns with name brand Vanilla flavored syrup and fresh ground coffee beans!!
cos normally she’d just call theOtherCoffeeStores and get supplies delivered next day.
-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t care anymore when.....
she’s filling out Job apps to other places and for OTHER vocations right in front of you and theCustomers!!
in fact, “you’re” tapping her shoulder now, instead of the other way around while you’re washing dishes or cleaning, telling her a customer is right in front of her!!
-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t care anymore when.....
one day, her Mom showed up for shift work and started talking, saying, moving just like your ShiftSup,
but then you realized, THAT WAS!! your BaristaSup, she just hadn’t brushed her teeth, put on her makeup,
combed her hair or showered yet,
and her Apron was dirty!!
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
her Mocha specials she’s making for Customers, which are most noticeably enticing to everyone because of their Caramel, Honey and their Brandy-like bouquet,
now actually get their Brandy-Like bouquet from theBrandy that she’s sneaking IN to each cup!!
Now aren’t you glad that you used your own miniPadlock for your employeeLocker instead of letting her buy you a comboPaddy-after first looking at theCombination numbers!?
Now she can’t get to your empLocker and steal your Rum & Vodka.
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
“theCrusta” that part of theMocha drink that is so named because of the application of MochaSauce & CaramelSauce lightly upon theRim of the cup and chilled 10mins in the deepFreeze before apportioning and serving that cup w/ theCrusta,
IS actually coming from “theCrust” of, yesterdays or even, theMochaSauce of 3 days before that she let sit in theUnWashedDishSink before grabbing and apportioning out to Customers in their “Crusta” drinkMocha!!
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
theKiosk is running low on ChocalateMousseWhip!! icing and she runs to theGrocerStore aisle and gets theAsSeenOnTV!! “hair-in-a-Can” and after whipping that with vanilla, eggs and sugar,
voila!!, Shockalatte-Moose-Vip!!
-You Can Tell Your BaristaSup!! Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
she doesn’t grab your new EarRings anymore,
and she doesn’t get after your Partner when her “hello” greetings sound like,
“Hah ohh” due to theTongue piercing.
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
her preparations to make theEspressoTruffle include doing theHungOverShuffle!! to theHoldingFrig and she erroneously grabs her Gin bottle instead of the preMade SignatureHotChocolate pitcher,
and that’s ok, really!!
Cos at least your Partner doesn’t mope around mincing up theChocolate Curls with theKnife & Cutting board all the while bitching about her boyFriend anymore
and speaking of Partners (coWorkers!!, whether they’re actually your DomesticPartners or not!!)
-You Can Tell Your Barista Partner (coWorker) Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
You know what her farts smell like!!
eeewwweeee.....
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
“marrying” theBitterSweetChocolate base mix with theEggNog topping no longer happens by gently pouring One over theOther,
but instead happens when she cleans up theSweetChocolate she spilled off theFloor with a barRag, then picks up theEggNog blend she spilled on theCounter and then squeezes thebarRag into a mixed drink that’s waiting to be topped off!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
she’s got a full bladder one minute, looks down at theFloorDrain under thePrepCounter for 2 minutes and then squats down under thePrepCounter for another 2 minutes!!
-You Can Tell Your Barista Partner Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
handling theDemitasse she mutters, “dammit” and tosses!!
-You Can Tell Your BaristaPartner Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
she no longer cares that people recognize her from her XXX-Website,
in fact, when she’s Register she won’t talk to anyone unless they’re handing over
cash for a couple of drinks and 1 pastry w/ $5 tip minimum!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
theBlue!! in her eyes is from theWindexWindowsWash jug,
theGold!! colors in her hair is from theSprayPaint residue on theInside of thePlasticBreadBag,
theRed!! highlights in her dark tresses is from last nights knock down drag out DVE,
theYellow!! in her pants is from not squatting down under theSinkCounter fast enough!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
she dictates outloud verbatim, as she writes her Impressions of theNew Coffees in her CoffeePassport book.
Words like, “Bleche!!”, “Swilll”, “Nauseous!!”,
Descriptions like, “PaintStripper!!”, “tastes like ShoeLeather”, “smells like my farts”,
Other Texts like, “OMG.... WTH!!”, “ROFD” (rolling on floor....dying), “I have to sell this!!?”, “WTF!!”
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
d:oP
-------------
You can obviously tell Sam!!'s in theHolidaySpirit, and that theSpirits he's currently drinking have a Fire Warning label and theBottleNeck has a FlameArrestor screen!!
lovs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
Are you in theHolidaySpirit yet?!
-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
you quit turning your greenApron inside out and upside down and backwards
to hide the milk stains cos she never complains about it NOT being Clean anymore.
-You can tell your BaristaSup doesn’t care anymore when.....
your Kiosk runs out of Vanilla and WholeCoffeeBeans, she sneaks off to the CoffeeAisle in theSupermarket and returns with name brand Vanilla flavored syrup and fresh ground coffee beans!!
cos normally she’d just call theOtherCoffeeStores and get supplies delivered next day.
-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t care anymore when.....
she’s filling out Job apps to other places and for OTHER vocations right in front of you and theCustomers!!
in fact, “you’re” tapping her shoulder now, instead of the other way around while you’re washing dishes or cleaning, telling her a customer is right in front of her!!
-You can tell your BaristaSup!! doesn’t care anymore when.....
one day, her Mom showed up for shift work and started talking, saying, moving just like your ShiftSup,
but then you realized, THAT WAS!! your BaristaSup, she just hadn’t brushed her teeth, put on her makeup,
combed her hair or showered yet,
and her Apron was dirty!!
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
her Mocha specials she’s making for Customers, which are most noticeably enticing to everyone because of their Caramel, Honey and their Brandy-like bouquet,
now actually get their Brandy-Like bouquet from theBrandy that she’s sneaking IN to each cup!!
Now aren’t you glad that you used your own miniPadlock for your employeeLocker instead of letting her buy you a comboPaddy-after first looking at theCombination numbers!?
Now she can’t get to your empLocker and steal your Rum & Vodka.
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
“theCrusta” that part of theMocha drink that is so named because of the application of MochaSauce & CaramelSauce lightly upon theRim of the cup and chilled 10mins in the deepFreeze before apportioning and serving that cup w/ theCrusta,
IS actually coming from “theCrust” of, yesterdays or even, theMochaSauce of 3 days before that she let sit in theUnWashedDishSink before grabbing and apportioning out to Customers in their “Crusta” drinkMocha!!
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
theKiosk is running low on ChocalateMousseWhip!! icing and she runs to theGrocerStore aisle and gets theAsSeenOnTV!! “hair-in-a-Can” and after whipping that with vanilla, eggs and sugar,
voila!!, Shockalatte-Moose-Vip!!
-You Can Tell Your BaristaSup!! Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
she doesn’t grab your new EarRings anymore,
and she doesn’t get after your Partner when her “hello” greetings sound like,
“Hah ohh” due to theTongue piercing.
-YCTYBSDCAW.....
her preparations to make theEspressoTruffle include doing theHungOverShuffle!! to theHoldingFrig and she erroneously grabs her Gin bottle instead of the preMade SignatureHotChocolate pitcher,
and that’s ok, really!!
Cos at least your Partner doesn’t mope around mincing up theChocolate Curls with theKnife & Cutting board all the while bitching about her boyFriend anymore
and speaking of Partners (coWorkers!!, whether they’re actually your DomesticPartners or not!!)
-You Can Tell Your Barista Partner (coWorker) Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
You know what her farts smell like!!
eeewwweeee.....
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
“marrying” theBitterSweetChocolate base mix with theEggNog topping no longer happens by gently pouring One over theOther,
but instead happens when she cleans up theSweetChocolate she spilled off theFloor with a barRag, then picks up theEggNog blend she spilled on theCounter and then squeezes thebarRag into a mixed drink that’s waiting to be topped off!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
she’s got a full bladder one minute, looks down at theFloorDrain under thePrepCounter for 2 minutes and then squats down under thePrepCounter for another 2 minutes!!
-You Can Tell Your Barista Partner Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
handling theDemitasse she mutters, “dammit” and tosses!!
-You Can Tell Your BaristaPartner Doesn’t Care Anymore When.....
she no longer cares that people recognize her from her XXX-Website,
in fact, when she’s Register she won’t talk to anyone unless they’re handing over
cash for a couple of drinks and 1 pastry w/ $5 tip minimum!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
theBlue!! in her eyes is from theWindexWindowsWash jug,
theGold!! colors in her hair is from theSprayPaint residue on theInside of thePlasticBreadBag,
theRed!! highlights in her dark tresses is from last nights knock down drag out DVE,
theYellow!! in her pants is from not squatting down under theSinkCounter fast enough!!
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
she dictates outloud verbatim, as she writes her Impressions of theNew Coffees in her CoffeePassport book.
Words like, “Bleche!!”, “Swilll”, “Nauseous!!”,
Descriptions like, “PaintStripper!!”, “tastes like ShoeLeather”, “smells like my farts”,
Other Texts like, “OMG.... WTH!!”, “ROFD” (rolling on floor....dying), “I have to sell this!!?”, “WTF!!”
-YCTYBPDCAW.....
d:oP
-------------
You can obviously tell Sam!!'s in theHolidaySpirit, and that theSpirits he's currently drinking have a Fire Warning label and theBottleNeck has a FlameArrestor screen!!
lovs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
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