Not Quite Clear On theConcept!!

AlaskaVillageTales!!

-AVT!!
not only dragging You to hell, we're actually theOnes kicking & screaming!!

-AVT!!
what a concept!!, starting with "Not Quite clear...."
(as in Not Quite Clear On theConcept...)

-AVT!!
over theHills!! and far away, while passed out on Your front Lawn

-AVT!!
sit back and cuss!!, just leave theVillage!! to us

-AVT!!
we not only tell theStory!!, we're IN It

-AVT!!
our perspective is very unique!!, even when we lose our glasses while drunk and squinting really hard at you

.... wait.. That's just Sam!!, he's drinking again,

-AVT!!
theOnlySuspense out here, is when theJudge!! gives us SuspendedSentences!!,
and of course, theOTHER kind happens when we find someone hang themselves

-AVT!!
what ever you need!!, we needed it first AND our VillageChixxx!! already got it before you did.

-AVT!!
Ready..... Set...... Chug!!

-AVT!!
we have SerialKillers too, ours kill appleJax, tonyTheTiger, quakerOats!! etc,

-AVT!!
a place where everyone knows your name!!
and where officerSam!! knows your entire family's priorHistory

-AVT!!
since theSam!! came to work for us, he's our unOfficial "spokesMan"
See,

we keep flattening his patrolCar tires that he's resorted to patrolling around
theVillage!! on a mountainBike!! (the bike spokes)

-AVT!!
keeping it in theFamily!!
Except our craziness, it's just a given that we share that with pretty much everyone else!!

Everyone except Sam!! he gave some TO us!!

-AVT!!
if this village!! were made into a musical, we'd go with HairSpray!!
but then we'd drink theSpray with water

-AVT!!
thePreView, theReview and theInterview all in one place!!

Kinda like what happens when we get Arrested and "viewed" by theWitnesses,
and Sam!!'s StateTroopOversite does theArrestReport review and then listens to
theAudio & Video recordings Interviews!!

-AVT!!
your oneStop ShopLift!! & Rob, erh...
at least that's what theSlogan is at theVillageGeneralStore!!

-AVT!!
blinded by theLight!!

cos of theConstant summerSun!!, and of course, theGlare!! from theSam!!'s stupid
flashlight

-AVT!!
not only thePeople your parents warned You about,
but your DAD actually compliments our hot villageChixxx!!

and of course, everyone makes fun of theSam!! d:o(

-AVT!!
has just added new Photos to our "MySpace" profile!!,
but then we realized that No One loaded film into theCamera!!

-AVT!!
work and toil is just for someone else!!,
we just play

-AVT!!
we were educated, but tehn, tehSam!! joyned ahs owt har enta village!!
ant owers spakin' an shpeln khinda ghot werse?!! !

-AVT!!
motivated and highly focused!!

meh, at least our VPSO is as he pursues our BootLeggers with his
2millionCandlePower spotlight

-AVT!!
we never do what we're told, everyone except for Sam!!
he does what ever theVillageChixxx!! tell him to

-AVT!!
we're so FULL of it, but we have Room for more

-AVT!!
our villageChixxx!! invented hipHop,
cos they hop around after getting OC sprayed by Sam!! and
attempt to placate him by showing some "Hip!!"

but then again, it's a given that each villageChick!! naturally shows
off her hips in the first place!!

-AVT!!
theDyslexic amongst us will look at "AVT!!" and think it's a 4 wheeler.

-AVT!!
theHighly smart & bored (and Dyslexic) amongst us will look at the
first 3 letters and immediately ASSUME there's a TAVern nearby

-AVT!!
strong, stable, solid!!
erhh... ever since our lastSip of Alkeyhaul!!

-AVT!!
bring you closer to theAction!!
cos our DomesticViolence couples actually invade your home
and fight right in front of You!!

-AVT!!
winning Kelly'sCup since,

well. Since we "Stole" it from him 18yrs ago!!

-AVT!!
"It's All Relative" is just that out here in theVillage!!
cos we're ALL related to each other.

-AVT!!
"yourVillage!! called" is so early 2000's,
Now it's "YourVillageTexted!!"

except for theVillageChixxx!!, they always have to have IM and
liveVideo conferencing and StreamingVideo on their cellPhones.

-AVT!!
still really confused when we hear, "YourVillageCalled!!",
cos we stop and wonder "who the heck Ran away now?!"

-AVT!!
Stop means GO, no means YES!!
and slammed doors in your face mean "Come On In Sam!!"

-AVT!!

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