Village life is slow sometimes.

Cliches and sayings.
I contributed once to an online discussion forum. Here's a few things to read.

Village life is slow sometimes, try sitting in your office and watching a white plastic trash sack lazily blow by on the wind and get hung up on the bushes.
It flutters and waves. After an hour you want to rush out and free the poor thing.

Kansas may have Dust in theWind, but theVillage has trash in the woods.

She's so big, you have to not only go around the house, you go around theVillage.

The north winds blow so strongly here the village is in danger of blowing away, but no one worries as long as half the women are here. Their immense weight keeps us safe. Of course the same could be said about me Mr 250.

Anything rural isn't really tough until it's Village Tuff.

YourVillageCalled!!!! etc. This is self explanatory.....moving on.

As busy as a VPSO; (fireman, policeman, search & rescue man & co ordinator, dog catcher, baby sitter, truant officer, warrants officer (arrests), process server (court papers to deliver), school teacher (literally), security guard, Elders services; wood chopping, water hauling, honeybucket hauling, personal care attendant, (sigh) etc.

As poor as a VPSO; several classes below field mice, church mice, store mice and plain old Mice but not to include the 3 blind mice- at least they had canes that could be hocked.

VPSO's are so poor we're in a class all by ourselves. It's called theWorking class. But you know? The work was so rewarding and fun it wasn't work at all. It was more like a CALLING. And I was a monk cos we wore brown.

Which reminds me of the VPSO Academy in Sitka.
One recruit was cutting every body's hair and he cut Officer Tim's hair.

Tim is a big old Southern boy, Army infantryman and he's balding on top.
When his haircut was finished High & Tight style.
He looked like a hollywood "Friar Tuck" with a halo of brown hair on his head.
Slap a Jesuit robe on him, stick a book and quill in his hands and he'd fit the part.

The acting AST VPSO Director and the VPSO Sgts helping to train us just took a look and shook their heads. Us recruits "Pushed" awhile for making THEM laugh. assholes.

village proof (idiot proof) often vpso proof.
In the great world far from theVillage it is said to be fool proof as well.
So who sent such items to theVillage anyway to be tested?

Village beauty: gorgeous Native gal, whether full blood or half or mixed in any ratio. Black to light brown hair, light brown to olive skin or often pasty white skin and black, brown, caramel to light gray, hazel eyes,
d:oD

In fact, the one village chick that liked me at first but then turned around and swore at me and called me names publicly, had caramel eyes.

Every time I eat a Wentworth's Toffee candy I see her eyes.
It's a shame too. She's hot, very jaded and abused sexually she was at one time.
I hold nothing against her either.

She's just that way and that's Village life. Nothing I could do to help her anyways. She can't change anymore than I can give up my life style choices along with what makes me tick.

Village Goth takes on a whole new meaning when a raven haired lilly white beauty buys those Chic, outrageously wild custom designed contac lenses.

One day in theLodge a young "Demon Eyed" girl rounded the corner and came face to face with me.

My hand literally rose to touch my baton while the Other hand reached for my Taser in my vest. Quick! Take her to the local church services and exorcise her. And just as well too because Every religious Native from across theState was in theVillage for a week long Revival including Ms Goth.

And then another Hip-hop happening village girl stole my heart with Royal Navy blue eyes. Never mind that she hopped into the middle of a Village work crew while staggering-blind drunk and operated the small Foot-packer by hand for 15 minutes, had recently peed her pants and had vomit in her hair. Love does strange things.

And lastly, one girl elicited nothing but sympathy from everyone. Her eyes were grayish. "Are you ok? You look like you have cataracts".

Would the last one out of theVillage please turn off the lights??
during certain paydays-PFD, various dividends payments, or big state meetings the Villages will literally empty of residents for a few days.

When my kitty cats get to mewling too loud for food or needing attention I say, a happy kitty is a quiet kitty, or a full kitty etc.
I thought cats were soft and subtle with the messages they send out to us Humans that they Own?? Shredded boots and torn socks isn't subtle.

Village reflexes, remember that funsy little scientific test of holding a $5, or even a $100 bill above and between someones open hand??

promise them the $ if they can catch the bill in their stationary fist or fingers after you drop the bill.

No one can catch it.

but ahhh.... You've never been to theVillage. They'll catch it before you let go of it. It must be genetic.

Village deathgrip, a firm grasp on a bottle or can, most often in sleep or after passing out.

well. i need to sleep. Mama made me shovel and Snow-blower the front drive and the back yard from 0700hrs till Noon. I'm tired.

Village life is slow at times and yet exciting too.
As one man recently had a "Diva" moment.

He's running around with a snow-plow attached too his pickup. Been doing that for us Villagers for years every snowfall and I ask him to clear away a small bit of snow from our drive.

"I charge by the hour.... I'm not a Charity".
His wife had reminded us to remind him and I passed the message on and he gave me a lame ass excuse like that.

He could have said No.
Said his hydraulics were acting up. Had to refuel.
Anything.

But he had to be an ass.
Makes me wonder if he's ever been so hostile all along these years I've been here.

And these people are ones my family and I respect and honestly LIKE.
But not anymore. If the man feels that way then he deserves the shit his kids give him.

So understand that what you do to Others affects more people than you know.
What you say can spread happiness or anger & resentment.

Even in my low moments of unemployment and idleness, I stand ready to respond to anyone's emergency. I stand ready 24/7 to help.

I make this promise and pledge to Self and Others.
You won't catch me being a male Village Diva. Because I love people.
I love myself and I have respect for other people's time.

Every person I meet is 'lil Maggie, the same girl that asked a VPSO for help in small things and he helped her. And later on if she needed help for big problems she would know whom to trust and would go back.

And that day I asked for help, I was turned away.

That was the last straw for us here in theVillage.
I wasn't disgusted that our Tribal Admins and village women leaders go drinking & drugging most every night.


It wasn't that these same village leaders refused my Indian Welfare applications so I could get Propane to heat my dad's trailer where I sleep.

No, it was a village leader that we / I considered a trusted friend. An Icon if you will, here in this remote place. A man with his own business, a kickass gorgeous wife and two hot, intelligent daughters. A man who's going places.

We're staying home to eat our own Dinner this coming Thursday while everyone
else eats at the Community Hall. Fuck these racist Natives and their Federal funds they hoard and piss away.

later taters!!!!

theSam!!!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
You are a sick, sick man...who needs desperatly to find help. Please move out of our village, you are no help to us here. You have never been a VPSO or any other public safety officer here and you will never be. Mark is a good COP even if he is not native. He is more respected by our people here than you ever will be. Some body as unstable as you needs to seek help immediatly. Please stay away from all my relatives around here, I am not only scared for the kids but for everyone that I love and cherish around here. And I don't appreciate the LIES you are putting on the internet about my people and my village!
Anonymous said…
Hey! funny story about fryer-tuc.
I remember it well.
-Anonymous needs a spell check, to get a clue and to get into Counseling & Rehab asap! I know who you are-and as I keep posting online eventually so will everyone else.
Your comments are always welcome by the way, thanks for your time.
theSam!!

-Hey tp.
Tell fearless class leader that I'm not reselling his Glock back to him!! d:oP
He can go buy his own, besides, 9mm sucks. I've upgraded to twin .45cal Glocks!!
Say, weren't you the one with the black eye?
later tator, thanks for reading and commenting.
theSam!! Badge #51
29!!

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