You Are All Cordially Invited to Attend.
I say "Cords" because I'm all out of rope - at least that's what I'll tell Mama, I'll explain why later.
It looks like 2005 will end soon and our 'lil Village-by-the-side-of-the-Road is planning on lighting up the sky once again on New Years Eve night. But unbeknownst to most of the Villagers here (hee hee hee)
A couple of theVillage residents are cooking up something to add to the fire works display. Hopefully when "the fuses are lit" close to Midnight of Dec 31, 2005, we'll see which explosive situation is talked about the most years from now.
One Village Beauty and I (theSam!!) have decided to announce our surprise Engagement and Feb 2006 Wedding to our parents and everybody else that will be present at the Community Hall this coming New Years Eve night.
That in and of itself IS the explosive situation. We're not Really getting hitched, just having some fun though.
Volatile because of the fact that Her Mom and My Mom just don't get along. And each "Mother" has made various threats to "disown YOU", "to rampage", and "to Off myself if that ever happens", etc etc. So that's why I hid the Rope from Mama.
I can't hide the guns though. EVERY house in rural Alaska has some type of firearm sitting in plain sight, no sense in arousing suspicions by moving the guns.
My drop dead gorgeous oh-so-Young "Village Bride" and I have put our two heads together and decided to push a few buttons!!
So you all need to keep this news a secret from our Mom's and don't tell anyone else ok?? SSSSHHHHooooSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
So ya'll are invited to the humble (Ha!!! that's another good one) little Village of ours later this month on New Years Eve for the Final Showdown which should take place shortly before Midnight.
Our Community Hall is painted red on the Outside, good cos bloodstains should blend right in. And the Hall is big enough for large crowds of people to panic and run around like chickens with heads cut off.
There are lots of big heavy plastic tables to hide under. If you checked my "Tribal ID Cards" blog you'd know that I hid under one of these tables close to an hour one time while everyone looked for me. I was quickly eating fist foods of food at the time while wearing a beany cap made of tin foil. Read the Blog and you'll understand.
The heavy plastic tables are rugged and can withstand bodies being hurled over / on top of them without collapsing. Perfect for the melee that should take place this coming New Years Eve.
In fact, I'd be bold enough to say that "Death" and "theFace Ripper" from theWrestling Channel would be proud to use one of our Village tables against any opponent in "theRing". That's how "Village Tuff!!" our stuff is. Although I wouldn't completely guarantee a table standing up to the surgically enhance pecs of "Mz Thong" and her side-kick "Heidi 'butt' Floss". I draw the line at silicon.
Even the small metal folding chairs are tough, face it, if those chairs can endure 2 to 3 monthly Community meal gatherings at roughly 150 to 275 lbs per Village woman, those chairs can endure Anything! Although one brown fold-up chair is ready to give up the ghost any day now, some kids played with that one - wasn't any of the women that did it.
There's been plenty of snowfall here, over 2' and it's been snow-plowed up and moved around out of the way by the Community Hall so there shoulc be lots of snowbanks and plenty of vehicles (from the many attendees) to choose from for you to hide behind and watch the excitement should our prospective "Mother's-In-Law go ballistic.
Believe me - They Will.
That should add some excitement to our Village lives!!
As if Domestic Violence (DV), Assaults, Wild Drinking Party's and Driving Under the Influence (DUI) and the occasional Preventative death doesn't spice things up around here enough
Ya'll need to bring your own First Aid kits, if you can bring your own Paramedics that would be great. Bring your own warm clothing and thick blankets too in case each of our Mother's pulls fire arms and a stray round hits you or disables your car.
You'll be in for a cold night in theVillage if you end up stranded here. In the recent words of one of our Village leaders, "I charge by the hour - I'm not a Charity". You'll be on your own if you get into trouble. I won't have time to help you.
We hope to see you all here and until then.
Have a Happy Holiday and a very Merry Christmas.
RSVP! as soon as you can so we'll know how many Moose, Caribou to poach...eh. To "acquire".
Hope you like Porcupine cos I shoot a few each summer and the fall for my Granma and I hit a couple of Spruce hen on the hwy each month while driving. I slowly build my feather collection bird by bird.
luvs, theSam!! and Ms Melons
It looks like 2005 will end soon and our 'lil Village-by-the-side-of-the-Road is planning on lighting up the sky once again on New Years Eve night. But unbeknownst to most of the Villagers here (hee hee hee)
A couple of theVillage residents are cooking up something to add to the fire works display. Hopefully when "the fuses are lit" close to Midnight of Dec 31, 2005, we'll see which explosive situation is talked about the most years from now.
One Village Beauty and I (theSam!!) have decided to announce our surprise Engagement and Feb 2006 Wedding to our parents and everybody else that will be present at the Community Hall this coming New Years Eve night.
That in and of itself IS the explosive situation. We're not Really getting hitched, just having some fun though.
Volatile because of the fact that Her Mom and My Mom just don't get along. And each "Mother" has made various threats to "disown YOU", "to rampage", and "to Off myself if that ever happens", etc etc. So that's why I hid the Rope from Mama.
I can't hide the guns though. EVERY house in rural Alaska has some type of firearm sitting in plain sight, no sense in arousing suspicions by moving the guns.
My drop dead gorgeous oh-so-Young "Village Bride" and I have put our two heads together and decided to push a few buttons!!
So you all need to keep this news a secret from our Mom's and don't tell anyone else ok?? SSSSHHHHooooSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
So ya'll are invited to the humble (Ha!!! that's another good one) little Village of ours later this month on New Years Eve for the Final Showdown which should take place shortly before Midnight.
Our Community Hall is painted red on the Outside, good cos bloodstains should blend right in. And the Hall is big enough for large crowds of people to panic and run around like chickens with heads cut off.
There are lots of big heavy plastic tables to hide under. If you checked my "Tribal ID Cards" blog you'd know that I hid under one of these tables close to an hour one time while everyone looked for me. I was quickly eating fist foods of food at the time while wearing a beany cap made of tin foil. Read the Blog and you'll understand.
The heavy plastic tables are rugged and can withstand bodies being hurled over / on top of them without collapsing. Perfect for the melee that should take place this coming New Years Eve.
In fact, I'd be bold enough to say that "Death" and "theFace Ripper" from theWrestling Channel would be proud to use one of our Village tables against any opponent in "theRing". That's how "Village Tuff!!" our stuff is. Although I wouldn't completely guarantee a table standing up to the surgically enhance pecs of "Mz Thong" and her side-kick "Heidi 'butt' Floss". I draw the line at silicon.
Even the small metal folding chairs are tough, face it, if those chairs can endure 2 to 3 monthly Community meal gatherings at roughly 150 to 275 lbs per Village woman, those chairs can endure Anything! Although one brown fold-up chair is ready to give up the ghost any day now, some kids played with that one - wasn't any of the women that did it.
There's been plenty of snowfall here, over 2' and it's been snow-plowed up and moved around out of the way by the Community Hall so there shoulc be lots of snowbanks and plenty of vehicles (from the many attendees) to choose from for you to hide behind and watch the excitement should our prospective "Mother's-In-Law go ballistic.
Believe me - They Will.
That should add some excitement to our Village lives!!
As if Domestic Violence (DV), Assaults, Wild Drinking Party's and Driving Under the Influence (DUI) and the occasional Preventative death doesn't spice things up around here enough
Ya'll need to bring your own First Aid kits, if you can bring your own Paramedics that would be great. Bring your own warm clothing and thick blankets too in case each of our Mother's pulls fire arms and a stray round hits you or disables your car.
You'll be in for a cold night in theVillage if you end up stranded here. In the recent words of one of our Village leaders, "I charge by the hour - I'm not a Charity". You'll be on your own if you get into trouble. I won't have time to help you.
We hope to see you all here and until then.
Have a Happy Holiday and a very Merry Christmas.
RSVP! as soon as you can so we'll know how many Moose, Caribou to poach...eh. To "acquire".
Hope you like Porcupine cos I shoot a few each summer and the fall for my Granma and I hit a couple of Spruce hen on the hwy each month while driving. I slowly build my feather collection bird by bird.
luvs, theSam!! and Ms Melons
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