Vocational Attendance Reports!!

theSam!!’s Attendance Reports!!

now available only online at YVCInc!! (dowh!!) / yourVillageCold Ink deptof whattheHell!!

Actually it’s dept of health, but since everyone in theRegion is pretty much abusing their livers,

no one’s healthy anymore,

even theSam!! is abusing his teeth (pop & candy)

Vocational Attendance Reports!!
-an Un-Named Salon & DaySpa in Seattle that declined not to be named!!

We’ll take liberties and call them “StepInStyle!!” / Sissy’s

-Veda: 28 Clients for week ending XX/XX/199X, @ 51% approval, $1000+ tips.


Considering that Veda was theBestest Facialist I learned from, she used to be PlumberJourneyman and could spread a Seal, Moulding or any Caulking like no other, she had only 2 things going for her really,

1. her Caulking gun from which she’d dispense her SeaWeed bodyScrubs
2. and her own personal ToothBrush!!-you know, to get into theCracks!!

Once you got past the harsh eastEuropean accent,

she was just a kindly soul with not a shred of remorse in her soul for taking your last dollar IF it meant that your complexion would NOT be touched by theRain of Seattle that fell for pretty much 300 days of the year!!

And by “would NOT be touched by theRain”, I mean, Veda would put on an moisturizer Sealant that repelled any and pretty much ALL Moisture, and her work was guaranteed for 30days to 6months OAC!!

I first met her while DeadEnd!!Jobs, or was it SlaveLaborReady!! ?, was sending me around theCity!! every day,

I ended up in some WareHouse full of shiny fixtures and siding made of shiny steel and aluminum.

My plantForeman of theDay!! was none other than Veda,
“hoo Ggab ter Nozzil, und Scchhteeek eett Up herr orraaficee,
und ggwabb und boxxen wweellz, und pastenn on!!

Translation!!: I grab a power grinder, plug in the special air hose fitting, and grab a saucer sized “Paste On” sand paper wheel.

Basically I helped her crew PowerGrind all the finished steel & aluminum sidings, tables, trimmings nice and smooth-

free of Nicks, burrs and edges, cos those steel fixtures went on to some OTHER factory and were part of theDesks, chairs, door coverings, accoutrements in every day life you see around you,

Your PC tower I’ve worked on, cos those 3 sided covers were stamped from flat sections, had the AirCirculation holes stamped into them and then moved along an assembly line to the machine that boxed each panel In and forced it into the3 sided box that you see on your desk or on your floor,

And you know, I’ve learned lessons from things like that SlaveLaborReady job when facing an VillageTribalCourt / Council grilling!!

Just face the pressure from all 3 sides closing in with my back to theWall and even though I get boxed in and punched full of holes!!

I’m changed, I’m of a different shape than when I went into theCouncilMtgs in the first place, and besides, everyone could use some change now and then,

oh.. And I KEPT thePencil that was thrown in hasty disgust at me, it stuck next to my BallisticVest front zipper, theAngryVillager!! promptly made an abrupt exit when I snapped the dangling pencil from my Vest.

Anyway, After a midnight lunch break in theCompany lounge room, Veda relaxed a bit and asked me why my hands weren’t “harsh”,

I told her that I was a Cosmetologist and lately had left an chainSalon that, quite frankly, was going corporate Nationwide and wasn’t listening to us employees anymore,

Veda understood, and she gave me her number at theDaySpa where she worked dayTimes and told me to apply there for work,

she had immigrated from Europe in the 1980’s and joined her family in the settlement in West Seattle, as there is an part of that city that’s like, Little Germany, Little Holland, lil Norway!!,

everyone speaks a foreign accent there, everyone eats foods that aren’t American and everyone is white with mostly blonde hair, I know cos an girlfriend of mine had family there.

aahhhh Veda.
She said that Facials were all in the wrist, and like that funny KarateKid movie with ‘waxOn / waxOff‘,

her hands mimed the exagerated movements of swirling and scooping and then little by little, her movements went smaller and smaller and then, you could tell, she was seeing and working on an human face, neck & shoulders in her head.

Veda was mid 40’s, had grown kids out of the Nest and was doing so much with her life when I met her, She was medium height, of heavy build, but was very firm and fleshy,

For I massaged her after we became coWorkers at theSalon & DaySpa, Her skin was thirsty.

an average client would get 1oz to 3oz of massage oil or lotion per Massage, and Veda’s body always demanded 5oz to 6oz,

it’s like, her skin drank up the lubricant and went back to being warm, smooth and dry.

I miss her, she was an experienced Mentor for me and not just an educated one. For you don’t learn the subtle nuances of body mechanics and face to face interaction unless you’re doing various JOBS and vocations, you just don’t.

Veda earned her huge weekly tips, they weren’t given to her because she was a physical knockout to look at, nor was she theHandicap or charity case of the group of Salon members, Veda was veda and you got pretty much what you saw of her.

Hardly anyone knew she worked odd jobs just to keep busy and keep her mind active, but I did, and did you know that she had a sweet tooth like I did and still do?!

We’d sneak to the back room of theSpa and eat those Honey treats from her favorite Greek restaurant, and those weren’t just American made versions either,

Those Baklava’s were actual honeycomb!! You were eating the raw honey and the paperlike cells that held the honey too, yummm!!

Then when she was finished, Veda would pull out her Toothbrush and use it.
----


-RC, 70 Clients for week ending XX/XX/199X, @ 89% approval, $1500+ tips.


Her name could have been Marcy, or Darcey, but she only said “RC” when she introduced herself to me that day at theDaySpa.,

Her hands were full of 3 feet of long blonde hair that she was touching up on theRoots!! with her clairol forumula’s,
I instantly liked RC when I saw her hair colors products of choice.

Liked her!? that’s an understatement, I washed her hair brushes,
I cleaned her workstations and I laundered her cubbies (her allotted dresser drawers of towels, rags and even Salon robes and smocks she wore)
I loved her.

You see, wella, clairall, redken, (to name a few brands) were what I consider OldSchool products.

Back in the 1970’s I saw those names on various products that MY relatives used, and even in the households of many of theWhite kids I grew up with, you don’t see any of those old time products.

Most salon professionals today don’t use those colors and bleach additives of yesterday, everything is TG’s,
Roux’s, SunGlittz, and off shoots of these and other name brand haircolors and perms,

You got Fudge, which is combo colors and perms / straightener and if you want any kind of Neon color with weird angles to your hair, use this.

You also got some japanese lines out now that literally straighten out Black / negro hair in just One application and without the harsh breakage, and if there’s any race on the planet with hard to tame hair-it’s theAsians!!

Their hair is thick, grows out straight and will not perm, color without a fight!!
LOL.

I was impressed by what this young stylist girl was using that day we met, she had stuff just like what my Beauty school instructors had and we met a few times after,

and she’d fuss with her hair and start sectioning it out and we’d then go look at color charts and argue over colorForumala vs activator ratio’s
then we’d play beauty salon!!

LOL...omg!!
We even touched up her Pubes and her eyebrows. Silly gurl. d:oP

It turns out that the long haired female in her chair was her, sister, they were having fun prepping theSister for an “shotgun wedding!!”, for all I know, they were being serious because,

RC and her family were borne & bred hardcore Southerners and I had no idea at all, not from theRebel flag banners and small mirror stickers on RC’s salon station of white Pride,

Rumor had it that RC celebrated her weekly 2000+ tips by dressing up in sheets & towels and burning crosses or burning something in the salon parking lots, (I joke)

but she was very hot, very friendly and could literally do anything criminal and get a slap on the wrist.

Later on I found out just what RC burned in her spare time, “Weed!!”

I found out one day when she needed a ride from Seattle to northwest, out by AnacortisIslands, so I gave her a ride after work one day, (back when I had a decent car)

We went to her parents place first and I sat outside while she got her stuff for her weekend get away and to celebrate her sister’s pregnancy (this Ride I gave to RC was long after her sisters wedding)

RC wanted to smoke cigarettes on the drive up so she cracked the windows, she turned theRadio to an HighEnergy techno music station and we numbed ourselves to a steady stream of videogame dance beat music,

I didn’t like going back to AnacoritsIslands, cos, years earlier I was in theNavy and stationed close by in WhitbeyIsland, or at least,

I was “assigned” there but hardly was ever on theWest coast, as we Navy people were out to sea every month and up and down both east and west coasts and on up into Alaskan waters.

After awhile RC quieted down during our trip and she asked me “do you smoke weed?!”
Back then I was going to church and staying away from drinking and smoking. I told RC no, and was polite about declining her invitations to try pot.

I found out that her sister was the reason why RC was into drugs.

Not because of any kind of peer pressure or because older sister DID such things, but because RC felt that she never ever measured up to what her older sister did,

And so RC, my friend, did punish herself and did seek solace and escape through drugs to numb her feelings and despair of Inadequacy,

I don’t understand how a very beautiful woman with Looks, charisma, energy and talent like what RC had could be depressed, but she was sad.

Other men saw her as an active busy stylist that flirted with them, that got theWomen into her chair as well and even made friends of them too and yet, behind it all, after hours RC was a totally different person,

one that I’m sure everyone would have stayed away from, including me.

Since that time in Seattle I have met many people like RC,

they got $, talents, fame of some kind, are noticed by many and can be visible in Office, military, police or media,

and can be such endless givers of sunshine and yet, they hide some kind of flaw or harbor ill feelings mostly about themselves,

I got a phone call only one time from RC’s sister after I had left employ of that Salon & DaySpa, it was 6months after, And RC’s sister was worried that RC was going to harm herself,

“did I know where she was?!”, RC’s sister asked me,
“No, “ I replied,

“Did she ever tell you anything at all about going away or of killing herself?!”, RC’s sister continued,

And I paused for a moment,

Because, when I had given RC a ride that one day in my car,
On the dashboard I had given to me by an female Massage Client of mine, who just happened to be a Stripper, was an photo or postcard!!

And as a way of thanking me and of promoting herself at the same time too I got thePhoto after massaging her-and this Dancer listed some places where she worked,

and RC saw the postcard I kept and was teasing me for an hour, “Sam likes stripper girls!!” etc.

I was embarassed and blushed at being teased and painted into light of being an Stripper girls Client and throwing tons of $ to the stage, etc.

And so I told RC’s sister of that experience and gave her the names of two clubs to look at.

And sure enough, RC had dropped out of life and was dancing every day and "renting" herself out too.

I’ve lost touch with them, and don’t care to find out where they are, RC’s sister, But I know what family she married into and can go from there if needed.

I just know that my Marcee is gone, moved on ahead of us all and someday we’ll all move on, and catch up too,

RC was awesome behind a chair, she seemed to know what theHesitant girls wanted to look like after a makeover session, and she knew what looked best on her men clients which explains why she got so much $ in tips each week.

She carried a small “rollOut” with her, an 3’ long Vinyl and Leather piece of fabric that was constructed to hold various Scissors and combs, and straight razors,

RC took that rollOut with her Everywhere she went and she never trusted anyone to look after it, except for that one day, when I got to give her a long ride back to her sister’s place, And I saw the intricate sewing,

And I saw where RC kept her $ pouch sewn into part of that RollOut carry. For some reason she trusted me.

I made one of those rollOuts too later on,
And carried Brushes and spare capes with me, and it was almost 11” across when fastened up and snugly closed,

You’d look at one end and see my combs, scissors, brushes and capes all tucked inside and the cover flaps just barely holding on, theRollOut resembled a tiny blue colored “Barrel” with two 1.5” nylon straps wrapped around it........barely holding on.

Kinda like seeing beautiful RC in her salon outfits of black pants, high boots, midriff baring tops and a light barelyThere seeThrough Shawl to drape her bare shoulders and arms,

or in her sundresses and really, no matter what she wore, theTops!! were barely hanging onto her shoulders and her cleavage was showing!!

RC showed me how to Never give up, and don’t take No for an answer when finding hair and massage clients.

And once out in theVillage!!, during a domestic violence event / DVE call I got a distinct impression to look at one girls ponyTail / Updo.

She was acting jittery and was sniffling, like what most females do after crying and yelling, and she said she was fine, but something was wrong,

and I was going to leave when, it seemed like an old friend was suddenly there with me,

talking to me once again as she talked with me while she answered telephones over theSalon counter, sucking down 7ups and eating M&M’s candies from the complimentaries Dish!!,

“and always check their hair mister!!”, RC would chide me, after I let one girl leave the salon with not one-but two of my $5 hair clips that I used to hold hair up OUT of the way.

Sometimes, really pretty, really demanding female clients got me nervous.

Way out in theVillage!!, an old friend was laughing at me in a tense moment and so I stepped over to theDVE victim and looked, I saw blood that came from the head wound that she had covered up with her ponytail,

and an angry young man went to jail for a few days courtesy of me And RC!!
Thank you RC, you were my mentor too, and a big sister as well.
God rest.
----


-Client: Ms Hormone!!, Averaging 25 Different Salon visits for week ending XX/XX/199X, @ an dismal 29% approval from Staff, Stylists, gives out $800+ tips.


I'm sure that you've seen her just today in fact!!

She's the one woman driver late for "something" and speeding past you in an giant suv, with one cellphone tucked into her shoulder-head cocked askew and eyes scanning the road ahead as she "clicks" through her Treo palm device Menu settings and sends out email to her children's Sitters, theGrocerDeliveryBoys and her Pet Therapist!!

If you haven't seen her today, then I'm sure you've seen her yesterday, Maybe the day before in traffic,

I promise you that she's been there right behind you, honking her car horn and banging theSteeringWheel, mouthMiming hard words at you or to whomever!! as she keeps moving,

even in parking lot traffic, when everyone else stands still and people are OUT of their vehicles playing baseball-Waiting.

She's moving, she's inching ahead and calculating each risk as it opens up to her, she's deciding and weighing, planning and acting and then cuttingIN ahead of someone else!!

I'm sure she's been that way, I dunno myself personally cos I've never ever seen Ms Hormone drive!! ThankGod!! but I've heard,

and I've only guessed at what else she may be capable of.
Other than that I have no clue cos, I'm her Stylist and MassageTherapist.

I only hear about how late she was, and how horrendous traffic was and how "some cute Kitten Up a tree" was holding up traffic as fireman rescued it,

I work on "HER" cute Kitty btw as she talks to me, lying on her back atop my Salon table, and inside I'm hoping that her pain I briefly cause her with each rip of Muslin strip somehow will make amends and satisfy the little kitten that was inconvenienced for a moment

while some EMT's stood still as an gray suv inched by-woman driver at theWheel!!, yacking on her cellphone and clicking away on her Palmtop....

For shits & giggles I have her turn over onto her knees,
and if nothing else, She gets to kneel with her gaping ass in the air in front of a man!! which btw, would be me her stylist.

Some people I've worked on I can imagine just how they are outside the walls of my Salon and I would be right and would love what I assume about them,

This client of mine,
she not only cements in facts of how annoying she is, she tells everyone via her ever present cellphone!!

Lordy lordy, I think I'll move away to a far off place, like....Alaska!!
And I'll just get away from everyone and never bother to listen to another human soul gossip about their day again-Ever!!

"RRiipp!!"
...and I'm done with one side, with one cheek and start on the other side,

Cleanse, cleanse, Wipe dry, and observe hair pattern growth and decide which direction to pull Out Hairs via theWax.

Always keeping one hand on Client, scoopout appropriate amount of hair removal wax on wooden scoop / tongue depressor looking stick and twirl the melted substance around till it balls onto the scoop,

Apply and spread like butter.

Ms Hormone winces with the warmth and her voice raises a bit as she talks to her kids.

"take the chicken OUT of the freezer, put it in the kitchen sink,....and don't let theDog Inside again or I'm impounding this one too!!"

as if they had Other dogs and cats that got into thawing out food and were Impounded by Mrs Hormone.

I make a mental note, while she showers before her Body Massage, step outside with the girls to chat and casually look for Mr's H's vehicle and see if there's a poor dog or cat inside-if so, Release It!!

Remove theWax with muslin strip or else just peel up theFree edge for theHarder waxes and P-U-L-L!!,

She winks for me and then gapes then shuts again,
"That's for theImpounded dog or cat inside your vehicle....if there is one inside" I think quietly to myself.

Looking at her kneeling before me, I wonder to myself.
She's not bad, 3 kids and at her office job now 18yrs but when she bothers you, the other Stylists with trivial stuff and wants 5 star service even at 4 a.m.

even an demanding beauty needs to be put in her place, or at least some place!!

Some place away from a telephone, away from car keys and away from any type of Internet connection, oh.. and away from Alcohol too,

as today when she disrobed in front of me and got onto the table, I smelled a faint odor of Schnapps.

Years later I would look back and rewrite my observations, "Did detect an odor of alcohol from her breath after she hugged me, and then did observe her undress, etc."

Even sane, caring people have boundaries for themselves and expect such things of others too. Apparently NOT Ms Hormone.

She's a former beauty queen you know!!
and you met the 2 girls already, right before they were due to Jr Prom!!

Right when YOU were leaving theSalon.
Well.

I WAS going to leave, but curiosity got the best of me, just like that "stupid cat" went and got curious and then stuck!!,

kitty news that I heard about a couple years later from Her MOUTH lips when she was on my Salon table, I say "Mouth" lips, cos, one day, her OTHER lips farted when she moved around.

sheeesh, no class!!
all that was missing from that scene was the messy cremepie and a heaving sweaty stud.

Anyway,
I talked on and on about hair, clothes and what music was hot and NOT and her girls just both talked in stereo!!

I could see where theMother gets her glibness!! cos for once, even SHE sat still and listened to her babies make noise and I swear,

She had a proud look upon her face, and it was cos her girls were just LIKE her!!

Even later on, they both snuck into theSalon when I was cleaning my brushes, sitting at my station and arranging my OWN long hair,

theOldest girl pulled my hair back and drew a line from ear to ear with a razor sharp french tipped nail that must have cost $5000 and she pulled up enough of my long hair to draw into a loose Ponytail.

They put makeup on from their purses and asked how much it cost to Tan!?
Later on, they were busy talking and talking to each other from separate tanning beds-In Separate ROOMS!!

I only stayed that first night of her girls JrProm, only to see just how far theApples had been thrown from theTree,

and those apples were something else!! a little cute, a little spicy, a little naughty and oh so nicey!!

*sigh*

I labeled her one time in an Salon newsletter of mine to a few friends,
Back when email was theWay to spread my Humor around on theNet.

She was "theClient that would not leave!!" and she earned her title easily.

"Wait, maybe just "forward flip" this side and angle that side more."
I'd do the service,

"wellll, I want OOoommph!! on my head, not just an updo!!, can you rat it some more?!"
I ratted her hair so much that the next visit I got from her, it was still ratted sleek and smooth and amazingly, still looked great,

ehh. either that or the fact that her silverjaguar was parked outside in Handicap spot with theTop down and the tires were off gassing!!

I took initiative that day and talked about theMenu list from theBar next door: ice chilled romaine lettuce, seedless cut grapes and bleu cheese crumbs with non fat cottage cheese,

and the Toasted crouton crumbs were brought over to theSalon owner for an after noon treat for theHuge Stripers and seaBass that swam around in the 1500gal Salon acquarium!!

theMassageTherapist in me still remembers her talking,
With my hands on her shoulders or arms, she'd talk and breathe, would pause and shift her body and I'd feel her muscles move,

and her mood would elevate and she'd relax a bit but get tensed up over getting to the point of conversation-which, as it turns out,

was just another redo request or perhaps finding a new look for her already done hair and makeup, She was never happy with her looks for long,

even the ever chatty!! salon Star stylist, RC was rendered mute one day by theTalkMachine!! until I wandered into theSalon on my day off,

3 hours later and $350 + $60tips and Mrs Hormone left with a bouncy pert step!!
And you nonStylists think that we Salon professionals have it so easy,

That the job is easy and brainless and we're all just silly.
It's a very hard job to take our training and as we build up HeadExperience from real live clients,

to gather up some creative ideas and do something a bit different from the norm and make you TheCustomer happy.


Sometimes, we just learn from theClient and follow their lead!!

Cos my first EVER!! eyebrow color lesson was from a catty-Chatty client that reached into theBleach bowl and painted her brows with her fingers,

afterwards I learned to "thicken" a small portion of any color & bleach with hair gel or leaveIn conditioner, Or with unbleached flour, and heck-even with straight sugar!! and I started to charge extra for EyeBrows!!

thePoint was, to just keep the runny bleach or color mixture from running.
You thicken with an binding agent of some kind and leave it on just like you would leave it on a head of hair,

even thePubes!! but you gotta be discreet for that,
you need exclusive privacy and a warm cubicle / salon station area for that, and your place has to be totally secure, quiet and warm to even begin to have clients undressed in your chair.

*sigh*
wow, I should write a book about my time in Seattle, and in a way, I already am.

Yep,
You've "seen her!!"

You've honked annoyed at her driving, you've seen her run red lights and cut off Police just so she could get to see Me!!

don't worry though, I just strengthen theBleach formula a bit more or weaken it,

Or I take an OLD perm off the rack and hide the Good stuff and jack up thePrice!!
I'm taking care of "Her" for YOU!!, I mean it really.

I turn up the heat a bit and put on some enya cd music to relax her,
I hug her close and gently tug at her top and theRest comes off!!

I've got your back!!
while she's On Hers!!

You've seen her, Hell, I'd hope that any of you aren't married to her, or that she's not your mom, or sister,

Unless, unless you're that owner of theCute Stupid Cat!! she honked at with her suv and scared into theTree that one day,

I've got Fluffy covered!! while I'm uncovering her fluff!! ready to massage her.

I know her too, theClient that would not leave me alone!!
----

Oh...
I'm tired,

I'll continue this entry later tomorrow.

always,
your friendly,
VillageSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak

yep, I've been there and done that.

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