theSam!! Insults (again!!)
Hey everyone, I'm theSam!!
Don't take yourself so seriously!! d:oP
-----------
theStylistSam!! Insults!!......
theCompleteSalonClient Care Guide, Version 3
(circa 1997, although an 2007 / 2008 edition is still in theWorks, You still have to hit MegaCastle for theRight periodicals to help “Illustrate this delicate Salon Procedure!!)
if You cannot or DareNot!! contact theHusband / BoyFriend / Girl!!Friend of theClient, then Panic and follow theAdvice you wrote below!!
Page 14 ParaffinWax Applications!!
-theClient!!
is impregnated with hotParaffin Wax, but herOutside netherBits, is not completely vanished!!
-Procedures!!
reach over to DresserStand, Reach INTO clients WarBag!! (purse) and take length of linen or Cotton, (Wrapper is labeled “Maxi”)
Insert tapered end until out of sight and then Draw through Client by pulling out!! (that IS what theSTRING is for!!)
You may have to reInsert and draw again to completely coat INSIDE with hotParaffinWax evenly.
Leave Cotton section on it’s end while the hotParaffinWax completely sets or Dries,
Don’t forget to clean Client’s Nostrils with a Cotton Q-tip bud to remove any hotParaffin that may have collected there, as you might simultaneously be performing an hotParaffinWax facial!!
Besides, she’s all warm and Cozy INSIDE and OUT!! She won’t have her eyes open to see you digging through her Purse!!
If Cotton section looks all used up, beat to shit, etc, Look over to DresserStand, Take 1 unused candle (4” diam or more x 8“ long) and Insert and draw again.
Client should be Supine, although your Instructors were able to pull this off with TestModel lying Prone, do this.
(which reminds you, to send yearly DeathThreats email and cursory!! letters to old School and to Apt of School Instructor!!)
With client lying Supine, Draw her Knees up to her chest and keep going over, till she’s being supported on her shoulders / Neck and arms still on theTable!! while her feet and knees are barely touching theTable by her head.
theCotton / or Now a Candle Section should be standing On it’s end and a good sizeable portion should be vanished!! (out of sight!!)
Grab theBic Lighter and “alight” one end of theCandle, theMeltingWax will add to theWarmth of theAlready applied hotParaffinWax!! that is upon theFemaleClient. Add another $20 to her treatmentBill!!
oh.. wait..
That’s it!! “But her Outside NetherBits, IS NOT completely Vanished!!”. Duh!!
Now slap own Forehead!!
Smile to self most impishly and stop panicking.
Reach over to HoldingCart, Dip hotParaffinBrush “INTO” melted liquid paraffin and continue to paint product upon theClient.
Apply until her “OutsideNether bits, are completely covered with melted Paraffin!!
Crisis Over!!
----------------
-theClient!!
is impregnated with hotParaffin Wax, but her OutsideNether bits, is completely vanished!!
-Procedures!!
Panic again!!, and follow theABOVE advice until you get to your YearlyEmail threats Reminder,
Opt to send Burnt cookies to your old almaMater and “I hate you!!" drawn in crayons,
blue color is always best, as your Instructors always knew a test writeUp done by you- cos it was in blue crayon!!
Then, as you Draw up Clients Knees and she’s freeStanding (Once again!!)
You must Replace theHugeScentedCandle with something more Hip and Vibe!!
Once again, Reach INTO her Warbag and feel around.
it’s usually underneath her 2nd and 3rd microPurses and right beside her civilianTazer, Yeah. That’s it. Next to her Revolver!!
Remove theLil’John!! from her warBag and carefully replace that where theScentedCandle should be.
Or better Yet, do a DP and just Add unto!! she won’t notice!! Remember, she’s all Warm and Cozy Inside and OUT!!
theExtraAdditions!! should act as a “breaker” of theLayer of hotParaffinWax and “expose” her OutsideNether bits!!
Smile impishly to Self and note that, she was disappeared in the first place cos you applied TOO much product to begin with.
Crisis Solved!!
--------------------
-theClient!!
is NOT impregnated and her Bore is not yet Vanished!!
-Procedure!!
.......hhhmmmm -thinking-
Well?!, Should you or shouldn’t you!?
After all, she IS your client and you have been beaten, pertineer to Death!!,
by your schoolInstructors and also by various “continuingEducationSeminar Hussies along theWay!! as to what you should do.
You are a Salon professional and must go theExtraLength!!, theExtraMile to solve yourGuests problems and make her day,
or to at least make her 9 months!!
Remember, that if two ranking Female classmates could impregnate their Clients,
YOU could too!!
*sigh* -sadly- d:o(
At least cover herBore in D. N. A.!!
It’ll make its way In eventually and theRest should take care of itself!!
Crises Solved!!
(after she leaves your Office, Cancel appts for remainder of Day and slumber away!!)
------------------
-theClient!!
is NOT impregnated, but herBore and outer NetherBits are completely vanished!!
-Procedure!!
......... like always, Panic!!
then try to remember if you did it right like you were taught in beautySchool AND were Seminar’d to Death in MassageSchool,
DID YOU remember to NOT EVER add oil over theBanana before wrapping in a Latex!?
Well!!, DIDJOO!?
Come on man!! You’re theProfessional. You figure it out!!
You never apply oil over theBanana before wrapping it in a Latex. Cos it’ll slip off your banana and someone will get Impregnated!!
If Client has Medical reports as to validity of herPregnancy, then we recommend sending her Back to her Husband or significantOther for ReVanishing!!
oh.. Wait.....
wait....
You idiot. The Problem said. “theClient!! is NOT, Get it!?
is NOT pregnated,
Wheeeww!!
Smile in Chagrin!! (again)
As for her “Vanished NetherBits”. Were you in a rush or flustered theLast time you worked on her and you left some residual hotParaffinWax in place perhaps!?
and don’t upset her by asking if any of her Companions, or theGyno!!, or her LapDance recipients didn’t already see left over paraffin!!
you just don’t!!
Gently apply warmBabyOil and massage surface area and pick and Flick away!!
Crisis Over!!
---------------------
-theClient!!
is Plastic
-Procedure!!
check to be sure that your GF / Test dummy manniken has filled out theClientConsent and read and Understood theIndecentConsent forms, initialed both pages, called her Mom before your session begins and placed her WarBag within “Easy” reach of you.
You only have two hands you know!!
oh...
Compliment her on her Surgeons skill and don’t compare her CC’s refill to your 2 liter bottles of Pepsi!!
don't EVER!! ever never not ever!!
However, if you do open your big mouth and talk about her having more in her Chest than your 4 liters of Pop in theFridge.
Panic!! -scream!!- d:oO !!
-------------------
Hey!!
visit theSalonStarSam!! (or at least he used to be!!) at AlaskaVillageTales!!
Be comforted in theFact that, often in theVillage!!
He gets behind Bars when cleaning out theHoldingCell!!
and when he's in theCity!!, he works in a few Bars as well!!
And often lives in theGreenDumpster right behind "One" bar smack dab in downtown!!
luvs,
theInsult!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
Don't take yourself so seriously!! d:oP
-----------
theStylistSam!! Insults!!......
theCompleteSalonClient Care Guide, Version 3
(circa 1997, although an 2007 / 2008 edition is still in theWorks, You still have to hit MegaCastle for theRight periodicals to help “Illustrate this delicate Salon Procedure!!)
if You cannot or DareNot!! contact theHusband / BoyFriend / Girl!!Friend of theClient, then Panic and follow theAdvice you wrote below!!
Page 14 ParaffinWax Applications!!
-theClient!!
is impregnated with hotParaffin Wax, but herOutside netherBits, is not completely vanished!!
-Procedures!!
reach over to DresserStand, Reach INTO clients WarBag!! (purse) and take length of linen or Cotton, (Wrapper is labeled “Maxi”)
Insert tapered end until out of sight and then Draw through Client by pulling out!! (that IS what theSTRING is for!!)
You may have to reInsert and draw again to completely coat INSIDE with hotParaffinWax evenly.
Leave Cotton section on it’s end while the hotParaffinWax completely sets or Dries,
Don’t forget to clean Client’s Nostrils with a Cotton Q-tip bud to remove any hotParaffin that may have collected there, as you might simultaneously be performing an hotParaffinWax facial!!
Besides, she’s all warm and Cozy INSIDE and OUT!! She won’t have her eyes open to see you digging through her Purse!!
If Cotton section looks all used up, beat to shit, etc, Look over to DresserStand, Take 1 unused candle (4” diam or more x 8“ long) and Insert and draw again.
Client should be Supine, although your Instructors were able to pull this off with TestModel lying Prone, do this.
(which reminds you, to send yearly DeathThreats email and cursory!! letters to old School and to Apt of School Instructor!!)
With client lying Supine, Draw her Knees up to her chest and keep going over, till she’s being supported on her shoulders / Neck and arms still on theTable!! while her feet and knees are barely touching theTable by her head.
theCotton / or Now a Candle Section should be standing On it’s end and a good sizeable portion should be vanished!! (out of sight!!)
Grab theBic Lighter and “alight” one end of theCandle, theMeltingWax will add to theWarmth of theAlready applied hotParaffinWax!! that is upon theFemaleClient. Add another $20 to her treatmentBill!!
oh.. wait..
That’s it!! “But her Outside NetherBits, IS NOT completely Vanished!!”. Duh!!
Now slap own Forehead!!
Smile to self most impishly and stop panicking.
Reach over to HoldingCart, Dip hotParaffinBrush “INTO” melted liquid paraffin and continue to paint product upon theClient.
Apply until her “OutsideNether bits, are completely covered with melted Paraffin!!
Crisis Over!!
----------------
-theClient!!
is impregnated with hotParaffin Wax, but her OutsideNether bits, is completely vanished!!
-Procedures!!
Panic again!!, and follow theABOVE advice until you get to your YearlyEmail threats Reminder,
Opt to send Burnt cookies to your old almaMater and “I hate you!!" drawn in crayons,
blue color is always best, as your Instructors always knew a test writeUp done by you- cos it was in blue crayon!!
Then, as you Draw up Clients Knees and she’s freeStanding (Once again!!)
You must Replace theHugeScentedCandle with something more Hip and Vibe!!
Once again, Reach INTO her Warbag and feel around.
it’s usually underneath her 2nd and 3rd microPurses and right beside her civilianTazer, Yeah. That’s it. Next to her Revolver!!
Remove theLil’John!! from her warBag and carefully replace that where theScentedCandle should be.
Or better Yet, do a DP and just Add unto!! she won’t notice!! Remember, she’s all Warm and Cozy Inside and OUT!!
theExtraAdditions!! should act as a “breaker” of theLayer of hotParaffinWax and “expose” her OutsideNether bits!!
Smile impishly to Self and note that, she was disappeared in the first place cos you applied TOO much product to begin with.
Crisis Solved!!
--------------------
-theClient!!
is NOT impregnated and her Bore is not yet Vanished!!
-Procedure!!
.......hhhmmmm -thinking-
Well?!, Should you or shouldn’t you!?
After all, she IS your client and you have been beaten, pertineer to Death!!,
by your schoolInstructors and also by various “continuingEducationSeminar Hussies along theWay!! as to what you should do.
You are a Salon professional and must go theExtraLength!!, theExtraMile to solve yourGuests problems and make her day,
or to at least make her 9 months!!
Remember, that if two ranking Female classmates could impregnate their Clients,
YOU could too!!
*sigh* -sadly- d:o(
At least cover herBore in D. N. A.!!
It’ll make its way In eventually and theRest should take care of itself!!
Crises Solved!!
(after she leaves your Office, Cancel appts for remainder of Day and slumber away!!)
------------------
-theClient!!
is NOT impregnated, but herBore and outer NetherBits are completely vanished!!
-Procedure!!
......... like always, Panic!!
then try to remember if you did it right like you were taught in beautySchool AND were Seminar’d to Death in MassageSchool,
DID YOU remember to NOT EVER add oil over theBanana before wrapping in a Latex!?
Well!!, DIDJOO!?
Come on man!! You’re theProfessional. You figure it out!!
You never apply oil over theBanana before wrapping it in a Latex. Cos it’ll slip off your banana and someone will get Impregnated!!
If Client has Medical reports as to validity of herPregnancy, then we recommend sending her Back to her Husband or significantOther for ReVanishing!!
oh.. Wait.....
wait....
You idiot. The Problem said. “theClient!! is NOT, Get it!?
is NOT pregnated,
Wheeeww!!
Smile in Chagrin!! (again)
As for her “Vanished NetherBits”. Were you in a rush or flustered theLast time you worked on her and you left some residual hotParaffinWax in place perhaps!?
and don’t upset her by asking if any of her Companions, or theGyno!!, or her LapDance recipients didn’t already see left over paraffin!!
you just don’t!!
Gently apply warmBabyOil and massage surface area and pick and Flick away!!
Crisis Over!!
---------------------
-theClient!!
is Plastic
-Procedure!!
check to be sure that your GF / Test dummy manniken has filled out theClientConsent and read and Understood theIndecentConsent forms, initialed both pages, called her Mom before your session begins and placed her WarBag within “Easy” reach of you.
You only have two hands you know!!
oh...
Compliment her on her Surgeons skill and don’t compare her CC’s refill to your 2 liter bottles of Pepsi!!
don't EVER!! ever never not ever!!
However, if you do open your big mouth and talk about her having more in her Chest than your 4 liters of Pop in theFridge.
Panic!! -scream!!- d:oO !!
-------------------
Hey!!
visit theSalonStarSam!! (or at least he used to be!!) at AlaskaVillageTales!!
Be comforted in theFact that, often in theVillage!!
He gets behind Bars when cleaning out theHoldingCell!!
and when he's in theCity!!, he works in a few Bars as well!!
And often lives in theGreenDumpster right behind "One" bar smack dab in downtown!!
luvs,
theInsult!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
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