theVillageSam!! is supposedly happier.
Dear BlogReaders!!,
this Post's for you,
just 4 u.
luvs,
theVillageSam!!
--------------------------
Village Men Are Supposedly Happier People!!
“village!!“ men are supposedly happier people...
Body:
dogSled reject!!, still warm, still limp, still in back of theVPSO’s truck a week “after” being shot, and while theOfficer is parked outside school w/ tailgate “down” and facing “away” from theSchool windows for that days DARE classes!!
village!!NICKNAMES
If GranmaLaura, auntieKate and schoolTeacherSarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If UncleMike, Officer!!Dave and jrJohn go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
This because UncleMike really IS FAT and really IS an uncle to officerDave,
whom btw IS theVPSO and everyone knows that theVillage!! VPSO just thinks he’s God out there!!
As for lil JrJohn, he’s Blind!! but lovs to wear cool shades with “fuckYou” fingerIllustrations and other coolHeadGear yearRound!! - some say he tasteTested his Hootch a little too early by taking TooBig a Whiff of it and that made him blind.
EATING OUT at theVillageIn!!
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
Well, everyone except Sam!!, erh.. Uhm.. “Dave!!”
and everyone knows that Dave carries everything inside his BallisticVest from Pennies to Bennies!!
Besides, theWaitress at theVillageEnd!! will tell GranmaLaura whom will in turn call auntieKate and she’ll grouse to theSchoolTeacher, whom will in turn... (You get thePicture) if No One leaves her a big enough tip!!
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
....... and village!!Grandaughter / waitress will just hold her tongue in silence and take it out on Sam!!..
erhh. On officerDave theNext time she throws an alcoholParty!!
theSam!!‘s MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
a Sam!!, uh.. We meant,
an Officer!! will pay pretty much Whatever his villageChick!! / waitressGF will demand of him,
and every villageKid!! will make theOfficer pay astronomical / comical rates just for Pop and Candy alone for all of them visiting theGeneralStore when he’s there buying “whatever” for his villageChick!! / waitressGF / GF of theMonth.
village!!BATHROOMS
A Village!!man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
And they’re all “STATE D-O-C” issue!!....... from the1980’s
that’s how good the stuff was made in theGood old Days,
or else just testament to how much a villageMan!? neglects his own personal hygiene!!......
and theRazor was actually left there last year from when theVPSO was searching for another “TEEN” runaway and felt sorry for said villageMan!!,
pulled out his GF’s razor left in ‘HIS” dutyTruck theWeek previous before
"she spruced up theLower40 before PlantingTrees!!"
uh...
I’ve said to much already,
Let’s just move on here.....
The average number of items in the typical woman's Village!! bathroom is 20,337.
A Village!!man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
“anVillageOfficer!!” not only has these 20,337 + 6 items in his LodgeRm bathroom,
He still has 6months of C-C receipts backTallied in his CountryKittiesCalendar w/ built in Pockets!!
He only keeps track of his own toiletries and food, etc purchases JUST to be able to track Other people’s Receipt recorded purchases at various stores around town per SKU / cpu Code / BarCode
Oh theHoops theOfficers make themselves jump through just to get close to even 1 / One bottle of alcohol let alone “Mouthwash” when they have to go into other people’s housees and then,
take hi resolution pics and go home to study on PC!!
(or at least that’s what Sam!! did)
village fights & ARGUMENTS!!
A village!!woman has the last word in any argument.
To include theLastThrow!! - of basically anything from theTV remote to theLeather Ottoman or theSubaruHatchback!!
Anything a village!! man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
and that can be anything from “just taking in a next breath of air, to minor “snorting” inadvertently, or something!!
And basically anything that Sam!! does in theVillage just keeps an argument going for 6+ months!!
*sad*
even if he’s theOnly one arguing.
yourVillage!!FUTURE
A youngVillage!!woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
an olderVillage!!woman worries about her husband and wonders when she had great “single” times in thePast, when she Didn’t have her husband!!
an OLD crow just worries that sometime IN the future, theCurrentVPSO won’t be around for her to Swing, Strike at with her heavyDiamondWillow cane and that the she’ll throw her shoulder out (again) breaking in theNextHaplessGuy!!
(cos he hung around too much at her house gazing fondly at herYoungGranddaughter, hoping and praying, Just dreaming that she’d be “HIS” future wife!!)
A village!!man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
he just sits and worries about HisPast!!
oh... and he also now has to worry about his Hiding places out in theWoods for his Drugs and Alcohol cos when he’s gone 5 or 6 months at a time up on theSlope!! either Sam!! or his own children will be running theTrails and finding ALL theAlcohol!!
villageSUCCESS!?
A successful village!!man is one who makes more money than his village!!wife can spend.
.......at theGeneralStore, at theLodgeTradingPost,
at Monday night bingo & PullTabs at theLodge!!,
and when he’s Gone 5 to 6 months at a time up on theSlope and she’s out drinking and gets thePickup truck impounded by Sam!!.... erh.. We meant. By officerDAVE!!
A successful Village!!woman is one who can find such a man.
who can support her FOOD habit at theGeneralStore, at theLodgeTradingPost, at Bingo & PullTab night, and also pay for her cigs and drinks!!
a real GIANT of a VillageWoman!!, an True Icon for ages to come for every aspiring villageChick!! up and down theRiver IS theSuccessful Village!!woman that finds herself an Officer man!!
even if she gets picked up by an VPSO for questioning and he records her, photos her and goes through her stuff!! She’s a celebrity for at least a year!!
If she gets her Car taken away by theVillageOfficer!!, she’s exempt forever more from any responsibility to Pay for her Alcohol & Drug habits,
if she does a brief stint in theSlammer she never ever has to wear her own clothes ever again and can take theShirt off theBack of her closest buddies!!
Per several fighting Incidents that theSam!! remembers being started and ended by “certain” drunk villageChixxx!!, but then again,
they’re pretty much ALL exempt when they leave theWomb!!, it just takes them a year to have that life altering epiphany!!
Now theREALLY, REALLY and I mean, theMost Influential and REVERED of all villageWomen!! is basically “any” woman that slugs theSam!! or kicks him in theShins!!
PotLatches are held every year in her honor, WinterTime VillageCarnivals are held in her name!! Even villageOrdinances and Rules are written up to Protect her and her children from further VPSO encroachment!!
*WTH!!*
a village........, *sigh*, ......MARRIAGE
A village!!woman marries a Village!!man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
He still wears the same “hardly Davidson” T-shirt 7 days a week for 3 months before turning it around.
And his pants get so that they’re as hard as or even harder than theSam!!’s BallisticVest, or harder than his misShaped Noggin’!!
A village!!man marries a Village!! woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
she changes theFlat tires when theFamily breaks down 100miles from home in theDead of Winter while Pregnant and actually "BareFoot" in subZero wind!!
she changes “men” as well when theHusband is gone 5 to 6 months at a time up on theSlope!!, to even include theVPSO!!
she changes villages!! at whim as well. And to that end, she changes panties so much, she never wears any!!
DRESSING UP!?
A Village!!woman will dress up to go shopping at theVillageGeneralStore!!-just hoping to meet Sam!! and beg him to pay for groceries, gas and to haul heatingOil for theHouse!!,
She’ll dress up to stagger outside while drinking to water the plants,
This includes even in theDead of Winter where she‘ll lob thePlasticFern through theFront bay window and go outside to pee,
She also dresses up to go empty the trash, even if it‘s to stomp next door in a huff and kick over theNeighbors full trash cans and scatter their garbage,
She dresses up to answer the phone, even if it‘s from theSam!! and she‘s got a $5000 warrant out on her!! She‘ll beg him to pay it for her.,
She’ll dress up to go read a book, and she‘ll get crossEyed drunk, go fight with her parents and then break into theVillageSchool (where she‘s an AssistantTeacher!!) and read theLil‘ engine thatCould, RunAway Bunny!! and OldYeller!!,
and lastly, a VillageWoman will also get dressed down and get the mail.
See, OfficerSam!! says, an Good indicator of Intoxication or beingHigh!! is when a girl is clad in tubeTop & jeans, flipFlops and a ponyTail and theWinterwind chill is Minus 30belowZero with theWind blowing at 10mph - She goes to check theMail but instead Staggers into theVPSO Office / villageHoldingCell!!
A village!!man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
and even then, he’ll grouse incessantly that his clean T-shirt “itches” when he walks down theAisle to give his Daughter away to theOfficer!!
and when he finally attends theFuneral!!, he’ll make sure that he Expired with his arms folded and legs crossed so no one will put him in a Suit!! In fact,
he’ll hope that his boat hits something in theWater during theSummer and they won’t find him at all in theRiver,
and in theWinter, he hopes that theCold winds will blow him clear to Nome so he won’t have to attend “His funeral”
In fact, he wants to be propped up beside theJukeBox when “He” dies, Right next to theSam!!’s village public safety career!!
but not right next to theSam!!’s former Hairdressing & Massage career!!
with ANY luck, theVillageChixxx!! father will hesitantly attend his own funeral,
if only to watch his Officer SonInLaw squirm and constantly look at his Wallet, while theFAMILY gives away 80 30-30huntingRifles, 80ScopedHuntingRifles, 70Shotgunz,
200 PendletonBlankets shipped from Canada, 300 villageCouncil embroideredJackets, 300 chainsaws, 200axes, 20SnowMachines, 30RiverBoats, 100Pair of Moosehide gloves w/ Beadwork!!, etc.. (cos you get thePicture)
we’ll leave out in Detail, the 3 tractorTrailors with “dual Thermo Lining” parked outside and generators running!!
to keep the 37 sides of Beef, the 3 Poached Moose!!, the 800lbs of chicken and 1200lbs of sea food, the900lbs in CrabLegs!!, the30 pallets of TatorSalad, the 40 pallets of chocolateDecadence cakes, the 50 gallons of Jello and probably all theBooze!!-all nice, Cool and Cozy!!
villageNATURAL!?
village!!Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
or at least they think they do.
see, Sometimes friends like to decorate and dress up their drinking buddies that passed out.
In Sam!!’s time in theVillage!!, he’s literally seen AND arrested the Complete cast from HairSpray, LittleShop of Horrors,
There was BillyIdolz!!- and Mom sure had a mean snear!! DK lang, FozzyBear and Bertt & Ernie!! theRest of theArrestedCrew were straight from any Porno film shoot, i.e. thegirls!! barely or had no clothes on!! and remember, that I’m still talking About theMen!!
village!!Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
This should explain how theWomen!! are theOnes to stay up till dawn (7 days from theNight they first partied) it's because they don’t wanna whither and Wilt,
at least not while there’s an eligible, Likeable and halfway Handsome VPSO in theVillage!!
villageOFFSPRING!!, (RUN!!)
Ah, village!!children. A Villagewoman!! knows all about her children, even when she can barely remember theFather of each child yet she somehow manages to remember how each child was made.
Does she hug theSofa and cry alot!? and stick her face into the seats so she can‘t breath!?,
Does she inadvertently stick her head in the trashCan and keep it there while puking after drinking too much!?
Does she stick her head out theBack house window and puke there, closing theWindow upon her back and tying her own hands up as well!?
Does she hop in the back seat of her car and undress!?
*sigh*
anyways,
She certainly knows about dentist appointments and romances to include even her Braces install and her current gradeschool crushes!!
to Include that handsome Officer that teaches DARE classes to her and her sons!!
oh!!
Uhmm..
and she also knows about her childrens bestest best friends evah!!
she is intimately familiar with her Offsprings favorite foods, after all, SHE started theFood fight last year that everyone‘s still talking about,
and theSam!! still hasn‘t washed those Pizza stains from his BallisticVest, Nor has he ceased to desist in taking theCouncil and her Family to court to pay for theCleaningBill either.
Yep, each villageMother knows the secret fears and hopes and dreams......
of her man theVPSO,
uhhm, and also that of her children too I guess.
I mean, one girl kept her kidz close by for one summer and then, when I transferred to another Village!!
she joined me there, but had completely new kidz!!
hmmmm......
A village!!man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
But he’s Updated constantly via Youtube wireless HiddenCam trailWatch!!,
and via GoogleEarth and GoogleVillage!! closeUp, as he keeps track of his Drug stashes around theVillage and around theRegion!!
*sigh*
yep,
theSam!! knows that VillageMen are supposedly happier people, after all, theSam!! is a villageMan!!
------------------------------
villageTHOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married village!!man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in 40+ people remembering the same thing!
theVPSO-1 to 3, his Mother!!-1, his Wife -1, hisMistress(s)-up to 4, hisGirlfriends!!-7, his Exes-4, his MothersInLaw!!-7(don’t ask) and his Probations officer(s)!!-up to 5
and that means..............up to 40 people remembering his Mistakes!!
Unlike Sam!!
at least 120 school kids, 215 adults, and 108 elders all remember His!!
-----------------------------
lovs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
alaskavillagetales
this Post's for you,
just 4 u.
luvs,
theVillageSam!!
--------------------------
Village Men Are Supposedly Happier People!!
“village!!“ men are supposedly happier people...
Body:
dogSled reject!!, still warm, still limp, still in back of theVPSO’s truck a week “after” being shot, and while theOfficer is parked outside school w/ tailgate “down” and facing “away” from theSchool windows for that days DARE classes!!
village!!NICKNAMES
If GranmaLaura, auntieKate and schoolTeacherSarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If UncleMike, Officer!!Dave and jrJohn go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
This because UncleMike really IS FAT and really IS an uncle to officerDave,
whom btw IS theVPSO and everyone knows that theVillage!! VPSO just thinks he’s God out there!!
As for lil JrJohn, he’s Blind!! but lovs to wear cool shades with “fuckYou” fingerIllustrations and other coolHeadGear yearRound!! - some say he tasteTested his Hootch a little too early by taking TooBig a Whiff of it and that made him blind.
EATING OUT at theVillageIn!!
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
Well, everyone except Sam!!, erh.. Uhm.. “Dave!!”
and everyone knows that Dave carries everything inside his BallisticVest from Pennies to Bennies!!
Besides, theWaitress at theVillageEnd!! will tell GranmaLaura whom will in turn call auntieKate and she’ll grouse to theSchoolTeacher, whom will in turn... (You get thePicture) if No One leaves her a big enough tip!!
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
....... and village!!Grandaughter / waitress will just hold her tongue in silence and take it out on Sam!!..
erhh. On officerDave theNext time she throws an alcoholParty!!
theSam!!‘s MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
a Sam!!, uh.. We meant,
an Officer!! will pay pretty much Whatever his villageChick!! / waitressGF will demand of him,
and every villageKid!! will make theOfficer pay astronomical / comical rates just for Pop and Candy alone for all of them visiting theGeneralStore when he’s there buying “whatever” for his villageChick!! / waitressGF / GF of theMonth.
village!!BATHROOMS
A Village!!man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
And they’re all “STATE D-O-C” issue!!....... from the1980’s
that’s how good the stuff was made in theGood old Days,
or else just testament to how much a villageMan!? neglects his own personal hygiene!!......
and theRazor was actually left there last year from when theVPSO was searching for another “TEEN” runaway and felt sorry for said villageMan!!,
pulled out his GF’s razor left in ‘HIS” dutyTruck theWeek previous before
"she spruced up theLower40 before PlantingTrees!!"
uh...
I’ve said to much already,
Let’s just move on here.....
The average number of items in the typical woman's Village!! bathroom is 20,337.
A Village!!man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
“anVillageOfficer!!” not only has these 20,337 + 6 items in his LodgeRm bathroom,
He still has 6months of C-C receipts backTallied in his CountryKittiesCalendar w/ built in Pockets!!
He only keeps track of his own toiletries and food, etc purchases JUST to be able to track Other people’s Receipt recorded purchases at various stores around town per SKU / cpu Code / BarCode
Oh theHoops theOfficers make themselves jump through just to get close to even 1 / One bottle of alcohol let alone “Mouthwash” when they have to go into other people’s housees and then,
take hi resolution pics and go home to study on PC!!
(or at least that’s what Sam!! did)
village fights & ARGUMENTS!!
A village!!woman has the last word in any argument.
To include theLastThrow!! - of basically anything from theTV remote to theLeather Ottoman or theSubaruHatchback!!
Anything a village!! man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
and that can be anything from “just taking in a next breath of air, to minor “snorting” inadvertently, or something!!
And basically anything that Sam!! does in theVillage just keeps an argument going for 6+ months!!
*sad*
even if he’s theOnly one arguing.
yourVillage!!FUTURE
A youngVillage!!woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
an olderVillage!!woman worries about her husband and wonders when she had great “single” times in thePast, when she Didn’t have her husband!!
an OLD crow just worries that sometime IN the future, theCurrentVPSO won’t be around for her to Swing, Strike at with her heavyDiamondWillow cane and that the she’ll throw her shoulder out (again) breaking in theNextHaplessGuy!!
(cos he hung around too much at her house gazing fondly at herYoungGranddaughter, hoping and praying, Just dreaming that she’d be “HIS” future wife!!)
A village!!man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
he just sits and worries about HisPast!!
oh... and he also now has to worry about his Hiding places out in theWoods for his Drugs and Alcohol cos when he’s gone 5 or 6 months at a time up on theSlope!! either Sam!! or his own children will be running theTrails and finding ALL theAlcohol!!
villageSUCCESS!?
A successful village!!man is one who makes more money than his village!!wife can spend.
.......at theGeneralStore, at theLodgeTradingPost,
at Monday night bingo & PullTabs at theLodge!!,
and when he’s Gone 5 to 6 months at a time up on theSlope and she’s out drinking and gets thePickup truck impounded by Sam!!.... erh.. We meant. By officerDAVE!!
A successful Village!!woman is one who can find such a man.
who can support her FOOD habit at theGeneralStore, at theLodgeTradingPost, at Bingo & PullTab night, and also pay for her cigs and drinks!!
a real GIANT of a VillageWoman!!, an True Icon for ages to come for every aspiring villageChick!! up and down theRiver IS theSuccessful Village!!woman that finds herself an Officer man!!
even if she gets picked up by an VPSO for questioning and he records her, photos her and goes through her stuff!! She’s a celebrity for at least a year!!
If she gets her Car taken away by theVillageOfficer!!, she’s exempt forever more from any responsibility to Pay for her Alcohol & Drug habits,
if she does a brief stint in theSlammer she never ever has to wear her own clothes ever again and can take theShirt off theBack of her closest buddies!!
Per several fighting Incidents that theSam!! remembers being started and ended by “certain” drunk villageChixxx!!, but then again,
they’re pretty much ALL exempt when they leave theWomb!!, it just takes them a year to have that life altering epiphany!!
Now theREALLY, REALLY and I mean, theMost Influential and REVERED of all villageWomen!! is basically “any” woman that slugs theSam!! or kicks him in theShins!!
PotLatches are held every year in her honor, WinterTime VillageCarnivals are held in her name!! Even villageOrdinances and Rules are written up to Protect her and her children from further VPSO encroachment!!
*WTH!!*
a village........, *sigh*, ......MARRIAGE
A village!!woman marries a Village!!man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
He still wears the same “hardly Davidson” T-shirt 7 days a week for 3 months before turning it around.
And his pants get so that they’re as hard as or even harder than theSam!!’s BallisticVest, or harder than his misShaped Noggin’!!
A village!!man marries a Village!! woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
she changes theFlat tires when theFamily breaks down 100miles from home in theDead of Winter while Pregnant and actually "BareFoot" in subZero wind!!
she changes “men” as well when theHusband is gone 5 to 6 months at a time up on theSlope!!, to even include theVPSO!!
she changes villages!! at whim as well. And to that end, she changes panties so much, she never wears any!!
DRESSING UP!?
A Village!!woman will dress up to go shopping at theVillageGeneralStore!!-just hoping to meet Sam!! and beg him to pay for groceries, gas and to haul heatingOil for theHouse!!,
She’ll dress up to stagger outside while drinking to water the plants,
This includes even in theDead of Winter where she‘ll lob thePlasticFern through theFront bay window and go outside to pee,
She also dresses up to go empty the trash, even if it‘s to stomp next door in a huff and kick over theNeighbors full trash cans and scatter their garbage,
She dresses up to answer the phone, even if it‘s from theSam!! and she‘s got a $5000 warrant out on her!! She‘ll beg him to pay it for her.,
She’ll dress up to go read a book, and she‘ll get crossEyed drunk, go fight with her parents and then break into theVillageSchool (where she‘s an AssistantTeacher!!) and read theLil‘ engine thatCould, RunAway Bunny!! and OldYeller!!,
and lastly, a VillageWoman will also get dressed down and get the mail.
See, OfficerSam!! says, an Good indicator of Intoxication or beingHigh!! is when a girl is clad in tubeTop & jeans, flipFlops and a ponyTail and theWinterwind chill is Minus 30belowZero with theWind blowing at 10mph - She goes to check theMail but instead Staggers into theVPSO Office / villageHoldingCell!!
A village!!man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
and even then, he’ll grouse incessantly that his clean T-shirt “itches” when he walks down theAisle to give his Daughter away to theOfficer!!
and when he finally attends theFuneral!!, he’ll make sure that he Expired with his arms folded and legs crossed so no one will put him in a Suit!! In fact,
he’ll hope that his boat hits something in theWater during theSummer and they won’t find him at all in theRiver,
and in theWinter, he hopes that theCold winds will blow him clear to Nome so he won’t have to attend “His funeral”
In fact, he wants to be propped up beside theJukeBox when “He” dies, Right next to theSam!!’s village public safety career!!
but not right next to theSam!!’s former Hairdressing & Massage career!!
with ANY luck, theVillageChixxx!! father will hesitantly attend his own funeral,
if only to watch his Officer SonInLaw squirm and constantly look at his Wallet, while theFAMILY gives away 80 30-30huntingRifles, 80ScopedHuntingRifles, 70Shotgunz,
200 PendletonBlankets shipped from Canada, 300 villageCouncil embroideredJackets, 300 chainsaws, 200axes, 20SnowMachines, 30RiverBoats, 100Pair of Moosehide gloves w/ Beadwork!!, etc.. (cos you get thePicture)
we’ll leave out in Detail, the 3 tractorTrailors with “dual Thermo Lining” parked outside and generators running!!
to keep the 37 sides of Beef, the 3 Poached Moose!!, the 800lbs of chicken and 1200lbs of sea food, the900lbs in CrabLegs!!, the30 pallets of TatorSalad, the 40 pallets of chocolateDecadence cakes, the 50 gallons of Jello and probably all theBooze!!-all nice, Cool and Cozy!!
villageNATURAL!?
village!!Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
or at least they think they do.
see, Sometimes friends like to decorate and dress up their drinking buddies that passed out.
In Sam!!’s time in theVillage!!, he’s literally seen AND arrested the Complete cast from HairSpray, LittleShop of Horrors,
There was BillyIdolz!!- and Mom sure had a mean snear!! DK lang, FozzyBear and Bertt & Ernie!! theRest of theArrestedCrew were straight from any Porno film shoot, i.e. thegirls!! barely or had no clothes on!! and remember, that I’m still talking About theMen!!
village!!Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
This should explain how theWomen!! are theOnes to stay up till dawn (7 days from theNight they first partied) it's because they don’t wanna whither and Wilt,
at least not while there’s an eligible, Likeable and halfway Handsome VPSO in theVillage!!
villageOFFSPRING!!, (RUN!!)
Ah, village!!children. A Villagewoman!! knows all about her children, even when she can barely remember theFather of each child yet she somehow manages to remember how each child was made.
Does she hug theSofa and cry alot!? and stick her face into the seats so she can‘t breath!?,
Does she inadvertently stick her head in the trashCan and keep it there while puking after drinking too much!?
Does she stick her head out theBack house window and puke there, closing theWindow upon her back and tying her own hands up as well!?
Does she hop in the back seat of her car and undress!?
*sigh*
anyways,
She certainly knows about dentist appointments and romances to include even her Braces install and her current gradeschool crushes!!
to Include that handsome Officer that teaches DARE classes to her and her sons!!
oh!!
Uhmm..
and she also knows about her childrens bestest best friends evah!!
she is intimately familiar with her Offsprings favorite foods, after all, SHE started theFood fight last year that everyone‘s still talking about,
and theSam!! still hasn‘t washed those Pizza stains from his BallisticVest, Nor has he ceased to desist in taking theCouncil and her Family to court to pay for theCleaningBill either.
Yep, each villageMother knows the secret fears and hopes and dreams......
of her man theVPSO,
uhhm, and also that of her children too I guess.
I mean, one girl kept her kidz close by for one summer and then, when I transferred to another Village!!
she joined me there, but had completely new kidz!!
hmmmm......
A village!!man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
But he’s Updated constantly via Youtube wireless HiddenCam trailWatch!!,
and via GoogleEarth and GoogleVillage!! closeUp, as he keeps track of his Drug stashes around theVillage and around theRegion!!
*sigh*
yep,
theSam!! knows that VillageMen are supposedly happier people, after all, theSam!! is a villageMan!!
------------------------------
villageTHOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married village!!man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in 40+ people remembering the same thing!
theVPSO-1 to 3, his Mother!!-1, his Wife -1, hisMistress(s)-up to 4, hisGirlfriends!!-7, his Exes-4, his MothersInLaw!!-7(don’t ask) and his Probations officer(s)!!-up to 5
and that means..............up to 40 people remembering his Mistakes!!
Unlike Sam!!
at least 120 school kids, 215 adults, and 108 elders all remember His!!
-----------------------------
lovs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
alaskavillagetales
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