Introduction
a fellow Ex-Mormon had sent an email,
as I was interested in some anti-Mormon literature, some tracts / files that had been created and posted Online for access,
I had been posting online in theRecoveryFromMormonism boards for a few years and had figured that theDieHards,
the people who visit there frequently and read and study Everything had by now, come to know me IRL because I always post or sign my writings under my IRL name,
I don't hide behind a Nickname and anonymity, I face my demons, I face my nightmares received from past Church abuse at theHands of ecclesiastical leaders and from Foster families whom I lived with that were supposed to protect me and help me,
but in posting this short intro to my Ex-Mormon friend, I realized that this would be yet another good Introduction to any of you people in thePublic whom know nothing about me theSam!! / Samuel L Flyinghorse, Anchorage, AK.
------
I'm 42,
and NativeAmerican, was found on theIndian reservation in SouthDakota and baptized by young lds missionaries,
and sent out west to Idaho as a participant in the church's THEN / or At theTime, popular Indian Student PlacementProgram.
So i was brought up for a few years, as someone elses child, and indoctrinated in lds life.
I was tbm (ExMo speak for TrueBlueMormon), although not as outwardly arrogant, assuming and asserting my beliefs upon others as Most tbms are known to do and are taught to be,
I know the mindset,
true tbms avoid RecoveryFromMormonism site and it's People in real life,
It's those that, for the most part, question "something" or have doubts deep down inside that feel a need to Defend mormonism openly or whom feel Invulnerable enough to go amongst "them" / theEnemy's of the church to take a stand,
I served a church mission and then went to Ricks Jr College, and from then on, I noticed the compartmentalization of Races and the elevation of theMales over females,
You'd think that fellow Morg church members would be happy to see me as a friend or fellow saint, without openly suspecting that I was "after" a daughter or other marriage age relative of theirs, but it wasn't so,
I noticed things way back then, even my fellow sisterMissionaries whom I met in theField (while serving in theMissionField) were nice enough to talk of marriage and relationships and some even liked me enough to perhaps consider me a husband someday,
but even that route for my advancement within Mormonism was closed down by the very people that once were friends, theSisters, and actively discouraged
and some sisters and even my Mission president got hostile and verbally abusive, profane and racist when I openly called them on things they said and supported at one time,
so I quit mormonism just a bit, and enlisted in military service,
I never told anyone of my church affiliation, people assumed that I was wild and drank, but I just said that I needed to get away from theReservation for awhile and so I enlisted etc.
after 4 yrs of military service, I got out and settled in seattle,
And for about 2 yrs I got back with the church, decided to give it another try and see what would happen for me personally,
as to whether theSystem would work or not,
as to whether I would settle down and get married as I wanted and whether or not a career would open up, babies would come, etc,
and it almost did,
a Nonmormon whiteWoman friend, dearest thing to me a the time wanted to join up and settle down in her life,
She had a career already, was late 30's, was very open to interRacial marriage and I let my heart go with her,
only to have her break it as well as theLocal bishop get involved, at Her behest I suppose, and once again, RACE was a factor,
race and socioEconomic factors, so was my fledgling cosmetologyCareer and massage therapy career too, apparently I wasn't good enough for either theChurch nor for my new Fiance,
So I left Life, dropped out for a couple of years, lived homeless (slept in my car) and worked odd jobs to feed myself, keep insurance and just get by,
My parents sent for me in 1999, I left everything behind, Mission books, mission memorabilia, old church books, my whole life In Storage and gave my car away and came here to alaska on a Plane,
I stayed active enough in the church to do what my Mother needed done,
I baptized my sister and helped confirm her,
I helped out in the verySmall, and predominantly White local branch where my mother lives,
and I went out to theAlaskan bush to live as a Public Safety Officer,
I still maintained normal christian mindset while living all by myself amongst people whom were Lawless and Drunk,
to them I stood out, I suppose for whom I was in the past and for how theLight still shone from me at times,
I got this observation about "theLight" and my Goodness from several hostile and High natives when I had them in custody,
or had otherwise Helped them in crisis and didn't abuse them as Past officers and state troopers had treated them,
so I suppose that, in a sense, Life happened and does mark you for what you become and what you Are at the time,
I left the church in 1990 mentally, and left it spiritually in 1997 for good.
I've never had an Resignation letter or applied for one,
nor do I need one,
cos even back in 1990 when the church knew where I was and what i was doing, no one checked in during my military years and helped out,
so, I consider that as good as formally resigning me or exxing me.
What power you give to an org or person is up to you,
I don't believe in them anymore those Mormons,
Wow,
I wrote a lot.
but that's my story,
thanks for being there,
You may stop or already have, to think about what you do, as what I do, in regards to standing AGAINST the church now,
but we've passed that mark years, decades ago when the church somehow left us high and dry and abandoned us or abused us,
don't forget that,
never forget those small quiet moments in life,
when your friends, family or workplace, or the church showed it's true face,
it will be a turning point and a milestone for you
be safe,
luvs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, AK
-------
Other Thoughts
-I am a former LDS Lamanite now ExMormon / Anti-Mormon,
"lamanite" is a term given by White mormons to all nativeAmericans, all hispanic and mexicans and pacific islanders, basically all brown skinned people and for a while when the So Called Church of JesusChrist of latterDaySaints used to love us "Minorities", they'd call us this "L" word and treat us with respect and helped us, but we have been forgotten by those so called christians,
seeing how my life went, and when white friends never looked out for me when they at one time or another were able to make a difference and were supposed to Live Up To their church obligations you can tell that I am just One person of thousands whom were left behind and forgotten by this lds despicable Cult.
-I graduated high school in 1986 and 5 months later went on a 2 yr church mission.
You'd think that going through my Sr yr and onto an honorable mission was a grand and glorious time,
but my time in that one foster family, arrel allens of st anthony ID was hell.
We were forced to get up at 6am and be dressed and ready for the day by 7am where we sat around the breakfast table and read scripture BEFORE we ate,
by this time of my life, I knew the LDS scrips really well, knew several large portions verbatim and loved those scrips, but come on,
fanaticism like that one family, of never being normal and checking out morning news and letting us feed ourselves was a little over the top, and all during my sr year I was constantly reminded by mr ariola allen,
how the local leadership, the stake president, kept pressuring him to take "One more indian student in", Jeesus chris, all the idiot had to do was say NO and mean it.
But for this "charitable act" of mr allen and his shrill wife marsha,
I got verbally, mentally and physically abused all year by these people.
Who punches a teenager in the gut or slaps their chest or slaps their face repeatedly!? Especially a teen such as I, whom never caused trouble, never drank or had questionable friends like one of mr allens sons, Enos rollin allen, did at the time,
even my temple day of going to Idaho Falls for the first time and into so sacred a place, for us TBM's, was hell.
Rush rush rush and it was so formal and so quiet,
I do remember the temple ceremonies of Oct 1986, and they included the Throat slashing and belly slashing pantomimes of theBlood Oaths, as most TBM's of today don't ever do THAT during current temple ceremonies,
of course not, the LDS cult changed the temple ceremonies a bit and took OUT this blood oaths, but back then, I accepted it all and thought nothing more of it,
and up till a few days later when the Allens took me to Provo Utah, from St Anthony ID, it was bitching and griping, complaining from them,
Like all TBM's, they had nothing good to say to me,
no thank you's about being a good student, no thank you's about who I was and how I came to be in their care, nothing complimentary at all in their words,
Everything was formal and business like and no feeling, which is typical TBM methods of operation because their church stifles such good tender feelings,
-I received first templeEndowments in IdahoFalls, ID temple Oct 1986, and received the temple name "ABEL", as the same abel, son of Adam whom was later killed by his brother Cain,
I too dressed up in the temple garb of the day,
the Mormon underwear with it's sacred markings,
in white shirt, white pants, white tie and white socks and as the temple ceremony progressed,
we ALL bit by bit, donned the temple robes, the sash, the green apron and the bakers hat, I too received the temple handshakes,
you can find all this stuff on theInternet, and due to my few yrs of being in Seattle and attempting to be TBM once again, I had memorized verbatim theTemple ceremony, and when was down and depressed,
I quoted that to myself just like anyone else would quietly pray or genuflect or Meditate on things.
-I was a missionary Oct 1986 - Oct 1988 Canada Vancouver British Columbia Mission under the less than satisfactory guidance and leadership of Prezident Don L Hoskin,
he was a military war veteran and was a control freak,
when I learned and grew INTO my missionary role and became a companionship leader, cos there's always 2 missionaries together ALL the time, I saw how the policies and programs of the mission were rigid and stifling to church members that lived WAY out in theWilderness of British Columbia,
because I had been assigned to live so remotely a few times and spent, collectively, half my church mission living In and serving theNative communities / theNative population of British columbia Canada,
I had some great companions, I had some difficult companions and was also a difficult companion too but we all grew up and progressed and did our part to spread the gospel, as we then knew it to be,
We had a group of Native american missionaries too in the mission, and we were even segregated for attendance to various conferences and meetings that were deemed important and Exclusive to "Us" minorities,
and here I thought Christ, the god that we loved and pretended to worship at that time LOVED everybody and wanted us to treat Everyone equally and not be treated special or to exclude Others for "special" treatment, I guess I was wrong.
and all along the expectations of us Minority missionaries was that we would go back HOME to where it was we came from and grow there and spread the gospel and such was not the case with me,
I had come from a shit hole reservation, where there was NO jobs, NO opportunity of any kind, where None of the Natives helped each other, where theTribal govt was corrupt in every way as theAmerican govt was / is,
and I expected better treatment by my mission leaders,
I expected to be included in their WhiteWorld and to share their visions and be included in their roles regarding their Church that was founded by joe smith,
but it seems that the LDS org had other plans for minority, Native missionaries like me, even the dear sweet sister missionaries that I grew to know and love and respect immensely,
a few of which kept in touch with me after MY mission and supported me and hoped for me and were kind and good to me changed their views on ME and upon Lamanites / Natives in general,
see how the LDS crutch shapes perceptions of it's own members regarding Race and inter racial relationships and inter racial marriages!?
At first they might condone and tolerate the Seeds of such things, the friendships and placings of white women missionaries with minority Young men missionaries,
Like I was at the time, but then the church totally steps on Love and opportunity and drives a wedge between people that might have had a future together AFTER their church missions,
Fuck the mormon CULT,
cos they tried controlling Native & White marriages and now they actively fight against GAY marriage, not that I support gay people, but I know that whom ever theMorg goes after,
they'll soon be demonizing another group of people or certain gender. Soon theMorg will be fighting against theNatives and hispanics, against the Islanders and trying to control and legislate all of them. You wait and see.
Fuck the Mormon Cult, fuck it's current prophet Thomas S Monson / Pompous ASS Monsin,
Fuck my old mish president who puffed himself up as this great war hero and who lived in the trenches and fought in the jungles with his Men alongSide them and NOT ever miles away SAFE behind concertina wire and sandbags of base camp,
Fuck him, because apparently he never did without Love and companionship and never knew how it was to ever like a girl and hope to start a good relationship with her etc,
and Fuck those lds sister missionaries that I once knew, whom used to be my friends, whom once professed undying love and eternal friendship and commitments and then turned their backs on me,
You see, theLDS CULT brought good people like us together, and yet, it stifled us, and stamped out some dreams we had, that I had, and theCULT is to blame for this mess.
And the current and former Leadership of theCult is to blame.
The organization called the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, which was founded by joseph smith is a fraud, and joseph smith was also a fraud,
I no longer believe in any LIES told to me concerning theMorg,
thank God that I still have my Native religion and my Native ways to keep me going.
And I'm especially thankful for having all those Infant, childhood, adult hood experiences with Diety. Those personal visions and dreams and visitations to help me and none of them ever had anything to do with theCult!!
God is REAL, and Christ is REAL, but you won't find them in the mormon cult.
-------
luvs,
theSam!!
as I was interested in some anti-Mormon literature, some tracts / files that had been created and posted Online for access,
I had been posting online in theRecoveryFromMormonism boards for a few years and had figured that theDieHards,
the people who visit there frequently and read and study Everything had by now, come to know me IRL because I always post or sign my writings under my IRL name,
I don't hide behind a Nickname and anonymity, I face my demons, I face my nightmares received from past Church abuse at theHands of ecclesiastical leaders and from Foster families whom I lived with that were supposed to protect me and help me,
but in posting this short intro to my Ex-Mormon friend, I realized that this would be yet another good Introduction to any of you people in thePublic whom know nothing about me theSam!! / Samuel L Flyinghorse, Anchorage, AK.
------
I'm 42,
and NativeAmerican, was found on theIndian reservation in SouthDakota and baptized by young lds missionaries,
and sent out west to Idaho as a participant in the church's THEN / or At theTime, popular Indian Student PlacementProgram.
So i was brought up for a few years, as someone elses child, and indoctrinated in lds life.
I was tbm (ExMo speak for TrueBlueMormon), although not as outwardly arrogant, assuming and asserting my beliefs upon others as Most tbms are known to do and are taught to be,
I know the mindset,
true tbms avoid RecoveryFromMormonism site and it's People in real life,
It's those that, for the most part, question "something" or have doubts deep down inside that feel a need to Defend mormonism openly or whom feel Invulnerable enough to go amongst "them" / theEnemy's of the church to take a stand,
I served a church mission and then went to Ricks Jr College, and from then on, I noticed the compartmentalization of Races and the elevation of theMales over females,
You'd think that fellow Morg church members would be happy to see me as a friend or fellow saint, without openly suspecting that I was "after" a daughter or other marriage age relative of theirs, but it wasn't so,
I noticed things way back then, even my fellow sisterMissionaries whom I met in theField (while serving in theMissionField) were nice enough to talk of marriage and relationships and some even liked me enough to perhaps consider me a husband someday,
but even that route for my advancement within Mormonism was closed down by the very people that once were friends, theSisters, and actively discouraged
and some sisters and even my Mission president got hostile and verbally abusive, profane and racist when I openly called them on things they said and supported at one time,
so I quit mormonism just a bit, and enlisted in military service,
I never told anyone of my church affiliation, people assumed that I was wild and drank, but I just said that I needed to get away from theReservation for awhile and so I enlisted etc.
after 4 yrs of military service, I got out and settled in seattle,
And for about 2 yrs I got back with the church, decided to give it another try and see what would happen for me personally,
as to whether theSystem would work or not,
as to whether I would settle down and get married as I wanted and whether or not a career would open up, babies would come, etc,
and it almost did,
a Nonmormon whiteWoman friend, dearest thing to me a the time wanted to join up and settle down in her life,
She had a career already, was late 30's, was very open to interRacial marriage and I let my heart go with her,
only to have her break it as well as theLocal bishop get involved, at Her behest I suppose, and once again, RACE was a factor,
race and socioEconomic factors, so was my fledgling cosmetologyCareer and massage therapy career too, apparently I wasn't good enough for either theChurch nor for my new Fiance,
So I left Life, dropped out for a couple of years, lived homeless (slept in my car) and worked odd jobs to feed myself, keep insurance and just get by,
My parents sent for me in 1999, I left everything behind, Mission books, mission memorabilia, old church books, my whole life In Storage and gave my car away and came here to alaska on a Plane,
I stayed active enough in the church to do what my Mother needed done,
I baptized my sister and helped confirm her,
I helped out in the verySmall, and predominantly White local branch where my mother lives,
and I went out to theAlaskan bush to live as a Public Safety Officer,
I still maintained normal christian mindset while living all by myself amongst people whom were Lawless and Drunk,
to them I stood out, I suppose for whom I was in the past and for how theLight still shone from me at times,
I got this observation about "theLight" and my Goodness from several hostile and High natives when I had them in custody,
or had otherwise Helped them in crisis and didn't abuse them as Past officers and state troopers had treated them,
so I suppose that, in a sense, Life happened and does mark you for what you become and what you Are at the time,
I left the church in 1990 mentally, and left it spiritually in 1997 for good.
I've never had an Resignation letter or applied for one,
nor do I need one,
cos even back in 1990 when the church knew where I was and what i was doing, no one checked in during my military years and helped out,
so, I consider that as good as formally resigning me or exxing me.
What power you give to an org or person is up to you,
I don't believe in them anymore those Mormons,
Wow,
I wrote a lot.
but that's my story,
thanks for being there,
You may stop or already have, to think about what you do, as what I do, in regards to standing AGAINST the church now,
but we've passed that mark years, decades ago when the church somehow left us high and dry and abandoned us or abused us,
don't forget that,
never forget those small quiet moments in life,
when your friends, family or workplace, or the church showed it's true face,
it will be a turning point and a milestone for you
be safe,
luvs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, AK
-------
Other Thoughts
-I am a former LDS Lamanite now ExMormon / Anti-Mormon,
"lamanite" is a term given by White mormons to all nativeAmericans, all hispanic and mexicans and pacific islanders, basically all brown skinned people and for a while when the So Called Church of JesusChrist of latterDaySaints used to love us "Minorities", they'd call us this "L" word and treat us with respect and helped us, but we have been forgotten by those so called christians,
seeing how my life went, and when white friends never looked out for me when they at one time or another were able to make a difference and were supposed to Live Up To their church obligations you can tell that I am just One person of thousands whom were left behind and forgotten by this lds despicable Cult.
-I graduated high school in 1986 and 5 months later went on a 2 yr church mission.
You'd think that going through my Sr yr and onto an honorable mission was a grand and glorious time,
but my time in that one foster family, arrel allens of st anthony ID was hell.
We were forced to get up at 6am and be dressed and ready for the day by 7am where we sat around the breakfast table and read scripture BEFORE we ate,
by this time of my life, I knew the LDS scrips really well, knew several large portions verbatim and loved those scrips, but come on,
fanaticism like that one family, of never being normal and checking out morning news and letting us feed ourselves was a little over the top, and all during my sr year I was constantly reminded by mr ariola allen,
how the local leadership, the stake president, kept pressuring him to take "One more indian student in", Jeesus chris, all the idiot had to do was say NO and mean it.
But for this "charitable act" of mr allen and his shrill wife marsha,
I got verbally, mentally and physically abused all year by these people.
Who punches a teenager in the gut or slaps their chest or slaps their face repeatedly!? Especially a teen such as I, whom never caused trouble, never drank or had questionable friends like one of mr allens sons, Enos rollin allen, did at the time,
even my temple day of going to Idaho Falls for the first time and into so sacred a place, for us TBM's, was hell.
Rush rush rush and it was so formal and so quiet,
I do remember the temple ceremonies of Oct 1986, and they included the Throat slashing and belly slashing pantomimes of theBlood Oaths, as most TBM's of today don't ever do THAT during current temple ceremonies,
of course not, the LDS cult changed the temple ceremonies a bit and took OUT this blood oaths, but back then, I accepted it all and thought nothing more of it,
and up till a few days later when the Allens took me to Provo Utah, from St Anthony ID, it was bitching and griping, complaining from them,
Like all TBM's, they had nothing good to say to me,
no thank you's about being a good student, no thank you's about who I was and how I came to be in their care, nothing complimentary at all in their words,
Everything was formal and business like and no feeling, which is typical TBM methods of operation because their church stifles such good tender feelings,
-I received first templeEndowments in IdahoFalls, ID temple Oct 1986, and received the temple name "ABEL", as the same abel, son of Adam whom was later killed by his brother Cain,
I too dressed up in the temple garb of the day,
the Mormon underwear with it's sacred markings,
in white shirt, white pants, white tie and white socks and as the temple ceremony progressed,
we ALL bit by bit, donned the temple robes, the sash, the green apron and the bakers hat, I too received the temple handshakes,
you can find all this stuff on theInternet, and due to my few yrs of being in Seattle and attempting to be TBM once again, I had memorized verbatim theTemple ceremony, and when was down and depressed,
I quoted that to myself just like anyone else would quietly pray or genuflect or Meditate on things.
-I was a missionary Oct 1986 - Oct 1988 Canada Vancouver British Columbia Mission under the less than satisfactory guidance and leadership of Prezident Don L Hoskin,
he was a military war veteran and was a control freak,
when I learned and grew INTO my missionary role and became a companionship leader, cos there's always 2 missionaries together ALL the time, I saw how the policies and programs of the mission were rigid and stifling to church members that lived WAY out in theWilderness of British Columbia,
because I had been assigned to live so remotely a few times and spent, collectively, half my church mission living In and serving theNative communities / theNative population of British columbia Canada,
I had some great companions, I had some difficult companions and was also a difficult companion too but we all grew up and progressed and did our part to spread the gospel, as we then knew it to be,
We had a group of Native american missionaries too in the mission, and we were even segregated for attendance to various conferences and meetings that were deemed important and Exclusive to "Us" minorities,
and here I thought Christ, the god that we loved and pretended to worship at that time LOVED everybody and wanted us to treat Everyone equally and not be treated special or to exclude Others for "special" treatment, I guess I was wrong.
and all along the expectations of us Minority missionaries was that we would go back HOME to where it was we came from and grow there and spread the gospel and such was not the case with me,
I had come from a shit hole reservation, where there was NO jobs, NO opportunity of any kind, where None of the Natives helped each other, where theTribal govt was corrupt in every way as theAmerican govt was / is,
and I expected better treatment by my mission leaders,
I expected to be included in their WhiteWorld and to share their visions and be included in their roles regarding their Church that was founded by joe smith,
but it seems that the LDS org had other plans for minority, Native missionaries like me, even the dear sweet sister missionaries that I grew to know and love and respect immensely,
a few of which kept in touch with me after MY mission and supported me and hoped for me and were kind and good to me changed their views on ME and upon Lamanites / Natives in general,
see how the LDS crutch shapes perceptions of it's own members regarding Race and inter racial relationships and inter racial marriages!?
At first they might condone and tolerate the Seeds of such things, the friendships and placings of white women missionaries with minority Young men missionaries,
Like I was at the time, but then the church totally steps on Love and opportunity and drives a wedge between people that might have had a future together AFTER their church missions,
Fuck the mormon CULT,
cos they tried controlling Native & White marriages and now they actively fight against GAY marriage, not that I support gay people, but I know that whom ever theMorg goes after,
they'll soon be demonizing another group of people or certain gender. Soon theMorg will be fighting against theNatives and hispanics, against the Islanders and trying to control and legislate all of them. You wait and see.
Fuck the Mormon Cult, fuck it's current prophet Thomas S Monson / Pompous ASS Monsin,
Fuck my old mish president who puffed himself up as this great war hero and who lived in the trenches and fought in the jungles with his Men alongSide them and NOT ever miles away SAFE behind concertina wire and sandbags of base camp,
Fuck him, because apparently he never did without Love and companionship and never knew how it was to ever like a girl and hope to start a good relationship with her etc,
and Fuck those lds sister missionaries that I once knew, whom used to be my friends, whom once professed undying love and eternal friendship and commitments and then turned their backs on me,
You see, theLDS CULT brought good people like us together, and yet, it stifled us, and stamped out some dreams we had, that I had, and theCULT is to blame for this mess.
And the current and former Leadership of theCult is to blame.
The organization called the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, which was founded by joseph smith is a fraud, and joseph smith was also a fraud,
I no longer believe in any LIES told to me concerning theMorg,
thank God that I still have my Native religion and my Native ways to keep me going.
And I'm especially thankful for having all those Infant, childhood, adult hood experiences with Diety. Those personal visions and dreams and visitations to help me and none of them ever had anything to do with theCult!!
God is REAL, and Christ is REAL, but you won't find them in the mormon cult.
-------
luvs,
theSam!!
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