theSam!!'s Got SnailMail

theSam!!'s Got SnailMail...

thePackage!! arrived in theMail today whilest theSam!! was out paying bills, eating pizza, drinking Steamerz and eating Punkin' cookies,

it was theRest of theOrder that came with theOrdering of theAdios Mixologist material!! Since being theVPSO to a very Wet, completely alcohol soaked Village means that when sneaking around and listening to everyone talk,

that theSam!! can gather all theInfo about what theVillagers!! order from theBootLeggers.

I mean, after 2.2 yrs, it took theSam!! long enough to figure out that when theGospelMusic group sang about "Cherishing theOldRuggedCross", they didn't exactly mean that piece of now LongGone wood on Gethsemane,

they were actually, Collectively "Ordering" drinks for themselves later and were advising theBootLeggers to leave theStash!! with either "Cherish" or "Charity", or maybe with another trusted "Parish"ioner alone in theVillage!!

So theSam!!, being theRich VPSO in town, wanted to get a LegUp on theCompetition and boost his BrainPower too and help fight Alcoholism in theVillage!!

erh..
in that case, Better start jailing everyone then!!
d:oP

Anyway, with theOrdering and Reception of theNew AntiBootLegging Program that theSam!! ordered via theInnertNet, that Series of Tubes!!

now theSam!! can remember not only what theHell people ordered in theFirst place,

he'll also remember how to Make theDamnDrinks too!! d:oP
But we'll save that info for when after he gets run OUT of theVillage!! and kicks around for a few years in obscurity before actually MOVING to theCity!! and starting his work in theFood & Beverage Industry,

We don't wanna get Sam!!'s hopes all up and UP now,
First and foremost we need him right here in theVillage!! and to start his newFangled VPSO / VillagePublicSafetyOfficer career here with us, he starts things off with theAdios Mixoligist!!,

as in "Adios" or goodbye and hello Jail for all BootLeggers!!

Just look at it this way,
theBarTending World has their "Flair" and "tendBar for Profit" systems, their "Mixologist Mnemonics" recipe and drink making techniques and all theSam!! has really,

is us, theVillage!!
d:oD and not just any Village!!, but theAlaskanVillage!!

Most Bartenders Worldwide have the"Flair" skills sets of acrobatically and artfully juggling, tossing, twirling and handling of bottles, Shakers and other BarWare,

and theVillage!!Inebriates just have the"Chair" hurling methods,

maybe even theSofa or thePottedPlant through theFrontBayWindow and out onto theFront driveway.
d:o(

Most Bartenders Worldwide have the"Flair" Juggling and theVillage!! only has theAlcohol & Drug "Smuggling", and to add injury to insult,

when ever an BootLegger fights with Sam!!, there's always the"Struggling" too. d:o(

Most Bartenders Worldwide get to train by watching Video and theVillagers!! almost always end up on Sam!!'s copCam videos,

I mean, hands down (and cuffed behind theBack) theVillagers!! always lose.

But not anymore,

Not. anymore!!

d:oP

theSam!! will finish of this Writing in a few days at AlaskaVillageTales!!

Look for it by name on theNet.

Alaska Village Tales

luvs,
Your MySpace friend,
BaristaSam!!

SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, Alaska
----

expound upon these things I guess to entertain everyone......

*sigh*

VillageCaused / VPSO Effect!!

DoItforProfit / heStopIt!!

FLAIR / Chair!!

TWIRL / Hurl!!

Whiskey, flour and EggBeaters / Whiskey, aWhisk and WifeBeaters!!

smoking that's Cool / breaking BarStool!!

stashHID around town / FoundByManInBrown!!

weLounge / heScrounge!!

weMobile / heEmbicile!!

BottleOpeners / Stupid One-LineOpeners!!

DrinkingShooters / BottleShooters!!

Down theHatch / DomesticShoutingMatch!!

VillageTuff / NickelCuffs!!

Rum&Spice / "mrNice", ha!!

Antihistamine / "Auntie, he's TOO Mean!!

hairOfTheSledDog / ShotBySam!!

VillageGirlFriend / he'sMonetaryGodSend!!

Sobr, Clen, Work / andOther4Letter words!!

PickledStink / TickledPink!!

WhatCarKeys?! / Whiskey!!

JackedUp / LockedUp!!

LandOfPlenty / butOnlyInTwenties!!

SUV / I4TC!! (impound for TribalCouncil, for theFunds in Fee$!!)

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