Jan 2007 More Anchorage Updates
January 2007 Blog
theSam!!
labeled by Dispatch as flirty!!
theSam!!
of whom it was said, that he didn’t want theKing to hold his pickles or to touch his lettuce!!
theSam!!
who’s restless leg syndrome could only be relieved by long walks....to each Village girlfriends house!!
theSam!!
leading theFight in theGlobal War On Village!!
theSam!!
theSecurity Officer just got a little more Insecure!!
theSam!!
!!dednah tfeL, or Right handed....he’s got you covered!!
Forwards and neve !!sdrawkcaB
For Survival
In one certain dream that haunts me, I’m looking through the ruins of a community, a large town, a city and I walk for miles and miles.
Smoke stings my eyes, chokes my lungs, fires consume what once used to be homes, commercial & business sites, abandoned vehicles are strewn about. Then the haze is moved away by theWinds and I see things that I wished I had not seen.
A child’s toy, postal letters, coins catch my eye and the occasional place where nothing is disturbed sits in stark contrast with the damage and destruction all around. Decayed bodies human and animal, friends and foes also lie about.
But last night as I slept fitfully in my Apt, I was above all the destruction. Had somehow acquired a parachute and had been to someplace high and caught the winds that now blow across the land.
The patched canopy had seen better days, the lines were worn and I took comfort that the Leading edge caught the winds and each Cell filled with air keeping me airborne.
Long ago I had learned to fold a 300square foot canopy in 10mins and it wasn’t theMilitary that did this. It was a group of Russian skydivers-the owners of theDrop Zone where I briefly worked after I left military service.
Ivan and Sasha were small men and in many ways they were giants in my eyes.
“You Amar icanz theengk you knnow evary theng. Mister Crazee hoorse, you waaddge me and you lerrn how to fold pprop arly.” Ivan’s mouth barely moved as he carefully phrased his broken English to me, strong hands expertly worked the nylon lines and fabric.
I packed 10 square canopies that first day. On day 4, I packed 18 and on the 12th day I was packing 38 chutes a day.
As theJump Instructors Ivan, Sasha, Taran and Zuri went up with each student at least one of them would randomly take apart a canopy I packed, look at it and then repack it and then start throwing packed chutes into the waiting arms of their skydiving students.
A month later Tara looked at me through the perpetual cloud of Kool smoke that framed her slender face and spoke to me.
“When I was living in Germany last year I worked at one of the military hospitals. I dated one of your people. He was much shorter.” Her accent wasn’t as lilted as theMen but her voice was more intense.
“You are already capable of worfare, it’s in yor Blud. It’s in your face, yor beedy eyes, Learn to take care of the Tools and the rest will come back to you”, Tara exhaled a months worth of smoke around me and stood up.
She wet her fingers with her tongue and sniffed out her cigarette. Tucked it into her tresses above her hairline and went to greet some female clients that had come to Jump Tandem. That cigarette never blew out of her hair and she only wore goggles when she jumped. She theArial acrobat who flipped, twirled and spun like a top in free-fall flight.
Where ever my old friends are these days if they’re still alive, I bet you’d find a cigarette or Cigar in Taran’s hair, Blood in Ivan & Sasha’s Vodka and a Taco bell wrap in Zuris hand.
I lifted higher and higher and soon I could see the devastation all around. I sat in harness and faced the wind as a small odd shaped cloud lifted up to greet me as I approached theCity. All my life I had been with glasses and contact lenses and I had found that my physical maladies were now gone.
I could see better than ever and was glad that I had, for the most part, kept my body clean and in physical shape all my life. And those I once knew that had lived riotously were gone, dead, having not survived the madness that overtook everyone across the planet at once
For as civilization broke down and hope left people’s hearts a wave of violence swept theNation, engulfed theWorld, and soon Reports and stories from afar bled your ears.
Friends and neighbors turned on each other and literally took each other apart by blade and by hand. People wore body parts and organs in a drunken revelry as equally bloody onlookers cheered and danced. Blood was drunk from people still living.
All manner of Rape and penetration assaulted any female. No one was spared a puncture wound of some kind or
broken bones or abrasions Infants and small children were dashed to pieces by their mothers, Elderly were brutally murdered by their relatives or caretakers.
Hospitals and even Law Enforcement officials, once bastions of Decency and Safety, Protectors of theLiving and the Injured were not spared the madness either. For they both Gave and Received.
Prisoners were burned alive in their cells and some broken bars and steel doors broken from theInside Out were testament to the remarkable Will to Live of some detainees. And elsewhere in some communities all officers and their families were hunted by packs of angry citizens, leaping and bounding like gazelles who did catch speeding Police vehicles and did take apart the screaming occupants limb by limb.
Only those few citizens that were spared death from those people around them were theProtected ones, Some Christians, some goodly people in Other religions, surprisingly even a few non Believers too.
And we also heard of some good news from afar that buffered the tales of horror. Of terminally ill people rising from their beds, of paralysis, dialysis and other people bound to machines and medications, asleep for years suddenly up and walking.
Miracles near and far stemmed the blood from our ears and eyes and we knew that theDivine was at work in our lives.
For it was how a person had lived their lives and of how their public service had molded them, shaped their personalities and marked them in theEyes of those around them on that fateful day when theWorld went mad.
Death was not so for everyone in vice and greed it seemed. Even some good people had perished and what was left of theHuman family dwelt together in small pockets of communities, tribal bands that clung together fiercely for survival.
I only sprained an ankle trying to push people away as a large crowd descended upon me and a group of Police as we gathered around some fallen assault victims. We started to lend First Response aid when the crowds attacked us.
I never saw my friends again, I only found a bent Badge of one man and a tattered uniform sleeve from a good wife & mother. What protected me I think at that moment was my stillness. I didn’t cry out, didn’t draw a weapon to fight, I didn’t get angry at all.
I think that was theConnection between theLiving and theUnseen evil that was palpable that day all around us. It was that feeling of despair and anger. The Hate that evil has for good took over theHumans that gave into anger, into hatred and insanity.
Some of us survivors that got together later and talked spoke about theTemptations to fight, to steal, to rape and plunder.
It was real, it was overwhelming for some and terrifying for us all.
I could only tell to those around me that it was like a child-hood event, when I toddled around under a rattle snake infested hole under the trailer house and didn’t get bitten. I wasn’t a threat to the snakes.
Like one farm experience when a group of bulls jumped the 10’ high steel fences and started running after people, I rounded the corner oblivious to the fact that a couple dozen, 3/4ton beasts were running at me. I stood still and the bulls trotted past me.
Even when I was on my Church mission and we approached a house as we went house to house. And one large family dog ran full speed at us Missionaries to leap on us, but at the last second it stopped, or rather, it was stopped by an unseen hand. Our protection was our Goodness at that time. But the dog still nipped at my shoe heel as we Elders left the surprised homeowner.
It was clear in his eyes that his dogs were supposed to attack and scare away solicitors, but he did talk to us about religion and then sent us on our way. These experiences I thought of and told those around me, they silently listened and nodded. I too heard their tales of how in their lives they were spared misfortune and how today they felt that protection again.
Yes, it was all about how you lived your life and what God had in store for you to help others.
Yes, good people died that day of Madness, and some bad people still lived, but overall we were all deeply touched and torn to our Souls at the fact that we were finally hit again by our enemies outside our Nations borders and by our enemies from within just days after theMadness left.
It was time to get serious about life and time to protect theLiving that remained.
Soon I was in the midst of a swirling cloud of paper. I reached out, grasping at the smaller pieces that packed against me then flitted away from my reach, for I thought I recognized the shapes and colors.
I saw that it was money. The denominations were a different kind than the American bills that I was used to seeing all my life. The faces upon the brown hued bills looked Spanish, or Russian and my heart sank. For in some places of my beloved country theEnemy had taken over and established their Ways of life.
I got more dirty as more papers, more detris upon the winds contacted me, as more smoke from below enveloped me and I started to descend.
I touched down on the edge of the City and could hear distant noise, what I knew from living around railroad facilities and the Industrial parts of town to be Heavy machinery and rail cars moving, clacking their couplings together and wheels squealing their brakes in high pitched frequency.
Shrugging out of the parachute harness and concealing theCanopy, I crouched low and proceeded to move.
What I once used to do in theVillage and in theCity sometimes back when I used to Exercise for recreation, of slowly jogging hunched over and eventually dipping lower and going faster-I now did as easily as blinking.
Then I heard theEnemy behind me and I froze in step. I thought I had been spotted and awaited severe injury or Death from their weapons but felt neither.
In 120 seconds I had slowly, completely turned around and knelt down, again what I had once done in my younger days in theVillage as recreation in stalking animals and even some Villagers as they worked outside their homes I could get close enough to touch them after stepping and crawling slower than the 2nd hand of the clock-was just as natural as breathing.
Even theHomeless in theCity, when I lived there for a few years, before theCalamities, knew of Hiding in plain site. Would step off theTransit buses and in a few steps would become part of the scenery.
I saw theEnemy as they approached my landing site, had rolled over the hiding spot in their armored vehicles where I buried theParachute canopy and they didn’t see my tracks at all, for I had learned to step lightly and to move across fresh snow, over fine powdered dust and upon broken glass and metal without a sound without a trace.
Even theEnemy was in want and without their Optics and gadgets that let them see in theDark, see theHeat from the human body. But even then, sometimes a person could defeat or negate these Optics and still be in close proximity to theEnemy.without being detected.
For in theHigh days of my beloved Country’s military strength it was prestigious to possess and to use theElectronic tools and weapons.
Being a basic In theTrenches, getting Dirty and bloody Warrior wasn’t the thing to do or to be for most of theSoldiers and as the years passed with theInvasion and Occupation by theEnemy all resources for weapons and ammo for all things tech support and repair had gone by the way side.
Now it was every man and woman for themselves and theOld time skills of hunting, stalking for game dominated theWarfare scene that was today.
I saw that theEnemy did not detect my presence and in another 120 seconds I had resumed crouching and was slowly stepping away. What had once been a luxurious two hour massage for some of my Clients back in the early 1990’s, now in a span of 2 hours time I was only a short distance from theEnemy.
I had learned to remember the old ways of life and in my moments of slow moving and hiding, I compared small tasks and events I once took for granted to help me pass the time, to take the edge off my suspense. I moved slowly and silently, dropped into a low crawl then froze for 20 minutes as I slowly looked around.
Yet I remained out in theOpen and away from cover. For sometimes theEnemy did look for us in hiding places and they did not see a disguised person standing on their head next to a tree, did not see us hiding by hugging a piece of twisted steel building supports, did not see us literally inside theWheel wells of discarded vehicles wrapped around the damaged tires.
We often see the familiar and see what is Normal to us and theEnemy only saw destruction, but now we Americans were theHunted and we were doing all we could to fight back and retake our Lands and Cities.
I had managed to keep my Soul and sanity over the years by preparing myself years ago, for I had taken Life’s experiences and made great memories for myself. And in the times of Stress and even in hand to hand combat with theEnemy part of my mind was always focused upon those good safe memories that I once made when I was younger.
In the midst of chaos I was centered upon things precious to me and I kept my cool, I kept my head-Kept my Life!
Memories of the Village children playing and swimming by theRiver, theTimes when a single young lady wanted to be primped and preened by my Cosmetology skills. Times when I ate with my family and friends in theVillage during special events.
Even in theCity when a fellow Security guard wanted her long hair braided, even a friend of hers a female cop. And the times when day to day life was safe and predictable....those days were gone, all those people that I once knew were gone. We all missed time back when things were so simple and time so fleeting.
I started to go up slope and made my way through what once used to be a well kept subdivision. For I had once Patrolled these streets of theCity and had even delivered take-out foods here once. Looked around and saw nothing of theNeighborhoods that I once drove through.
As I struggled up theSteep hillsides I thought of the early 2000’s when I first learned to Fight Fire on a regional Fire suppression team. We were dispatched to an Interior wild-land fire that ravaged a populated region of theState.
One day during our Firefighting Teams daily hike To and From the fire site, I had to stop climbing up the steep slope.
Each step we took was like stepping up really high to a foothold that was literally waist high and taking another step, the Forest terrain was that rugged.
Then in my blurred, exhausted field of vision I saw a young man slow stepping up next to me. This young man carried his body weight in tools, food, water and he was zig-zagging back and forth on the trail, essentially he was saving his knees and conserving his energy.
“I hate you” I grinned at the Young man as he passed effortlessly by me. He looked at me and smiled.
So I adjusted my climbing steps as this young man reached out to me from theOther side and helped me travel up the Steep housing slopes adjacent to a ruined City. As others had reached out and yet others still would reach out to me, as I hopefully would reach out later when I passed Over.
Miles below me and to theSouth, I had once taken a short cut through a community and got lost in a maze of side streets and cul-de-sacs. Auughhh.. I was so frustrated and Dispatch laughed at me and 5 minutes later was talking me back to theMain road and I was back on Patrol. All those people were gone.
Most everyone had gone inland during theEvacuations. New communities sprang up along theTwo State highways, smaller communities already in existance doubled, Tripled and Quadrupled in population overnight. But then thePopulation dropped suddenly due to factional strife, disease, hunger and still more mass migrations.
I climbed higher and higher to a vantage point East of theCity where theLeaders had told us Commissioned Officers to go. Where theIntel from a couple of Still functioning military Satellites had detected Life.
I was one of a dozen that was called from our Region. I left my Village years ago and had been all over theState where I once lived previous.
Had driven, flown, parachuted into, walked and boated into once Safe places that for the most part No Longer existed, were abandoned and often destroyed to deny theEnemy in our midst safe haven from theWinter storms.
None of us Officers that were sent in to any given area of theState ever traveled together. We left Base at different times and only knew theOther members of our teams. Often we would go in and then wait a predetermined amount of time before continuing our missions.
Sometimes I never saw my other Officer friends, a few Villagers, some former Pipeline workers, a couple of school teachers and some medical doctors. People that you would have never guessed years ago to be doing something so different and so vital for Survival of those Remaining.
We were all one thing one day and theNext day, all that we knew was gone. So what could we be? Only those that had lived their lives and knew a myriad of skills knew what to do, they Led.
This dream, among others haunts my sleep, I just had to tell it and give it characters and a little more detail than what I actually see. Because I can’t tell what I really see and yet I try. Words can’t describe the carnage, the devastation and conflict.
But all I can repeat again and again is that if we are prepared and blessed, protected by Plagues and strife that come our way then life will be a little easier for us.
We prepare by sacrifice, by goodly Christian living or honestly living in harmony with what ever belief you observe.
You help others and build up Not your own wealth and self-image, you build up others and give up your dreams for theirs.
Just keep in mind the Good intents that our Nations Founding Fathers had for us today, Now.
It wasn’t an Immoral nation that tolerated and supported same-sex relations. It wasn’t a Nation that supported other Peoples ways of life to theExclusion of all Ways American. It wasn’t a Nation that removed the 10 Commandments from Public view and removed Prayer from schools and public venues.
We were always meant to be a God following, God fearing nation that truly LEADs the way for the rest of theWorld.
We’re not expected to give into our enemies as they slowly & illegally cross our borders and slowly take over our land.
May this new Year 2007 be the best time for all of us.
God bless us everyone, and may God continue to Bless and Protect America
theSam!!
whom is frequently kind and suddenly cool, whom can do as he pleases s/he’s everyone’s Fool!! whom can’t be convicted, he’s earned his degree,
and theMost he will do is throw excuses at you, he crys like a child and has always pouted since age 3!
NO!!! she takes care of himself, he can shave if he wants, his Blogs never rhyme.
Noo!!! and he never gives out, just always gives in and just changes his...flat tires!!
he eats on theCheap and theMost he will do is throw excuses at you, he’s always on the Internet till 3!!
theSam!!
It happened to me!! Now you can read all about it.
theSam!!
theOnly non-silicone / saline Boob-Job that ever happened to theVillage!!
And by far theSoftest One too!!
theSam!!
Village-tested, Diamond-willow stick proven!!
theSam!!
here comes theNebe again, falling on his head like a felon inMotion!!
theBlog!!
whom else wants to be an Expert on Village after reading over 100 documents in 30 days or less!?
And you’ll look absolutely a Mess while doing it too!!
theBlog!!
Own a piece of Authentic Nebraskan history by downloading all 100+ files today and save, save, save to your hard drive.
theBlog!!
finally a place to learn about theVillage!!
theBlog!!
at least get up off theFloor and onto theCouch so we can write about you!!
theBlog!!
until there is noVillage!!
theVillage!!
Always, always Low standards!!
theVillage!!
until there is noBlog!!
theVillage!
doing unto Ourselves first before kooky Outsiders move in and Blog about us!!
theCity!!
I was watching a Hockey game on theInternet once when I was guarding a Security Post, at least until thePolice Officer drove away and I had to put my Binoculars down. I didn’t know the NHL had female players cos there was lots of PINK on theOfficers Laptop.
Anchorage!!
I walked TO Mtn View at night and since theSidewalks weren’t cleared of snow yet, I used the street-And Survived!!
And due to theRecent spike in Emergency & Police vehicles being involved in Motor vehicle crashes I saw a lot more Assault victims hitch-hiking or else getting a taxi to theHospitals,
I saw more Aggressors & DUI offenders just stagger to theJail all by themselves, and people literally Run FROM anything Emergency these days i.e. Police, EMT’s, even Security!! (me)
Anchorage!!
I froze stiff while waiting outside to ride on the RapidTransitBuses and I froze stiff with the windows stuck open and no heat as theDriver sat ensconced in a protective cocoon of fleece and acrylic blankies and sipped on hot coffee, and then we had to wait 2hrs at 36th & Arctic for construction (again).
I got mugged while in transit through Spenard and I’m not sure, but I think the Young woman that sat next to me was a Hooker, she only rode a few blocks, I’ve got no $ and now it burns when I urina.....
I now practice on my DownHill skiing technique when theBus suddenly slams to a stop within 100’.
I literally spend 4 seconds leaned towards theBack of theBus at a 45deg angle to theFloor. And if there’s an extra second available I try to get in 8 pullups as I go literally Parallel to theFloor!!
Anchorage!!
Our Sleeping Lady got her Trypto phan on Thanksgiving & Christmas Days at theShelter with all her buddies and then decided to limp and crawl after she broke her leg and had to go to Emergency room then she finally got her Trypto Jail!! Can’t trust theEMS vehicles.
Anchorage!!
Our Sleeping Lady was incensed that AKClubs broke into her athletic room locker and bagged up her stuff, as they had moved thePrestigious downtown Club to more Palatial digs on 4th Ave and didn’t tell SL about it, it’s not like they had no phones or mail service in Jail!! come on!!
Anchorage!!
Everyone’s little brother (theYoung looking Mayor) is faithfully spending many hours at night, after televised city council meetings at theLibrary, on Arctic & 36th sitting on a backhoe or else digging alongside Manuel & Cisco in the trenches.
Anchorage!!
Our Tent City has expanded theTV channels to include worldwide Cultural tv. That way when Paco from spain gets fired by theAlaskanPrincess!! tours he can live at theShelters and still keep abreast of news in his homeland!
Same thing with Ruca from Brazil, Margi from Sweden, Sven from Switerland, And little Dali from India just has to dial any 888 number and talk to her relatives!!
Anchorage!!
did we shamefully mention that we STILL have theSam!!?
Anchorage!!
Our Nude dancers & strippers are STILL more dressed than ALL of theMall retail Kiosk girls!!
A few DaySpas & High end Salons were advertising and doing actual full-body work over theHolidays to lure in new Clients and theSam!! was hired as guest consultant for a few services.
Anchorage!!
Tyrone, Keesha, Tunithia, Jamal, Get off that nice mans snow boots!! Stand up straight I said!! Jamal?!! where’s my purse again?! Come here now, Tyrone!! Our stop is coming up, pull the yellow cable. Keeesha and Tun....
Anchorage!!
at least theHeavy snowfalls have padded out theBumpy streets for a few months, as if our Cellphone using, DVD watching, Internet surfing, reaching for theCoffee, applying makeup, driving with one foot and dressing oneself-while driving citizens weren’t scary enough.
Now we gotta worry about all of the above while everyone speeds on the slick icy streets.
Anchorage!!
Play Bus Transit Luge while going for broke on theLong icy stretches and when accelerating in the turns.
Just hold on tight to the person in front of you, suck right into them and .. wait. We all ready do that because theTransit logos are still sardine cans with 3 people packed into it.
Anchorage!!
theCold winter takes out the lingering smell of LiquidAss that permeates each Transit Bus, but theClosed windows captures theStale whiskey, theBO and all those other hideous odors that just clashes with theSam!!’s old Navy & old Spice. He has to dab an extra tator tot behind his ear just to endure theNebes riding beside him.
Anchorage!!
theTeen Crisis center at the4th Ave Mall Parking Garages had to close up shop as too many cute interns & volunteers kept getting pregnant and then becoming theAgency’s new clients. The Speedy Day care plans on taking in extra clients though!!
theHooka bar went up in Smoke!! (cough-cough) It’s still unknown Whom let those Goth Kids in to run that smoke shop. We thought we kicked them out 4 yrs ago, but looks like a certain Someone was spoon fed cheesecake and he looked the other way.
theTwo bank branches kept getting robbed by their own Staff and had to cut back on hours of operation and theSubwayz shop keeps losing a few chocolate chip cookies each month, oddly this only happened after a certain Guard comes to visit and chat up theCute Cashiers.
Anchorage!!
All Nebes found face down in theParks & Alleys are put to work holding up theHoliday lights and signs.
Anchorage!!
our hot Run away fashion models are sure glad they’re wearing Real Fur!! Brrrr it’s cold out there.
Anchorage!!
Still the People your parents warned you about and still less dressed than theTourists. Sissies!!, it’s only -30F
Anchorage!!
it’s that time of year to Keep an Eye out for Moose nuggets on the sidewalk and if you see one or two footie prints that are smaller than Mama’s hooves, it’s too late cos you’re already dead.
Anchorage!!
at least that Goofy Security Guard isn’t riding his Bicycle anymore.
and still more....
Ripped From theHeadlines!! (as in grabbed by the hair during a domestic and Pull!!)
theWacko, ends 2006 New Year without a home and estranged from his Village family.
We’re told that inspite of his arrival in Anchorage over 3 trimesters ago
theBeloved Son!! has only been in Casual touch with his family as they visited theCity now and then.
Their was theBrief screaming match at theNorthWayMall over a pair earrings, a tussle in theBookstores next to theGiant Kiddy playground, as theGoodSon!! wanted to play in theMall and Mother wanted to look at books.
theChilds!! Nanny wasn’t onhand to purposely isolate theSon!! from his family as was the original intent.
(sigh)
And speaking of personal assistants, point-man, manager and public relations, theSam!! will be hiring such advisors to help guide his Internet career for the Year 2007!!
Any interested persons should know that theProduct!! loves cheesecake and eats it too!!
oh.. and pizza, spaghetti, meat & potatos, chinese takeout, pop, chips, candy.
You know, just basic Stripper food, as thePoledOne needs a nutritionist or two to help keep him fit as he slims down even more!!
theMascaraOne also needs a new hairStylist and Makeup artist too!! And he’s considering a new Threads position for Wardrobe, as for now he just wears a towel around theApt!! in his private time.
Until then, theSam!! sits in his Mtn View Apt contemplating his next move........Knight forward and left? or a Pawn two jumps forward, Maybe just one checker jump ahead and hope for the best?!
In other events, theSecurity!! moves around theCity oblivious to thePublic around him, completely at a loss as to theResponsibility or Reality of theMoment, dragging with him 3 small precious items.
His food bag, his backpack and his Winter overcoat that has everything else he needs to survive - sewn into theSleeves and theHood!!
We’ll have more news on theCook!! himself and see if he can still butter his toast without dropping it on theKitchen floor again.
VillageBest Actors & Actresses!!
Thanks to an apparent lack of imagination on the part of several Village men, there aren’t too many surprises to pull upon their VPSO’s and VPO’s this time of year.
Longtime Inebriate Forst (Chinny) Whiskers has already stolen every single community prize and suddenly announced himself theKing of Potland!!
Pete (stolen) Tools might have won for his role as boyfriend to a local Village Venus but he got cold feet and took off on her and her babe in theWomb. That left theSam!! in theRed again as another Hottie gets to pander and cry for help each month for support.
It seems that Pete has been absent from theCampaign push against all Village Safety Officers, as these movements often happen every 2 years, every 4 years and oddly enough, Each weak too!! Maybe Pete’s in jail?!
“Still” Smith is still trying to Pursue happyness by brewing and imbibing.
Smith almost was able to “topple” Forst Whiskers but nothing can ever topple an Inebriate that moves like “Seaweed” when you grab him roughly and pull him off balance!!
Still and Pete were “almost” into the roles of Best Village Inebriate that would have certainly put them into theWatchful gaze of theMen from theSafety Academy!!
Hey, when you’ve been seen by theBoys behind theBadge and are awarded a few contusions theSize of a Christmas Globe and you literally see “Stars” after being arrested then you’ve certainly done your work like a good Villager should.
Still Smith has done the most “work”, if I may use that expression loosely, in getting himself away from 30, 60 and 90 Days and moving into theBig Leagues of 5 to 10 yrs!! Incredible performances from these lovable Village Nebes.
Leanard Hubcaprioput!! decided to go after a piece of jewelry and got blood all over it. LH is an “also ran” in the From theLaw category.
This young man spiced up Village life recently in his lead role in theAviator!! by screaming at theSafety Officers to
“catch me if you can!!” and sprinting through theWoods to theVillage landing strip where he fired up the Aircraft that was parked overnight and took it for a spin around theVillage airstrip before he had his “flying license taken away” by Village Officers and some Village Leaders alike.
Now everybody is mad at theVPSO for ever bringing those FlightSafety people into theVillage at all and giving theKids free rides and talking them all through theChecklists and Engine starting procedures.
Leonard Hubcaprioput was looking for a signature move to make before he went off to theBig house, we think he may have found it by throwing both arms up while lying on his back screaming as stroked batons descend!! and ascend and descend!! and ascend...
Meanwhile aged VillageChick!! Aunt Emmie is still frugal with her “Emmy nods” as she quietly passes out-bottle in hand.
And indeed!! Those Elders that have gone before all others (to Jail and Rehab!!) can rightly say whom and where, what and when each younger generation of Villagers gets to carry on theWaywardness of Village Life, indeed.
Maryl (landing) Strip, Penny (steals theCop car to) cruze, Katey Inlet and Judith (always sitting in front of theState Troops cuffed to their big Oaken) Bench!! are also up for Emmy nods and even looks from old Villager “Oscar” for their Domestic performances in theYVC Inc (doh!!) region.
Katey is doing good work in theMaking of “Village Children”, the twins are like,, what? Her 6th and 7th children now?
Kudos to theVillageChick!! for her IRL / in real life roles but her Corrections use Career is going Bust!! Literally, she’s got a rack that would be theEnvy of any VillageGurl’s URL site.
Having kids will do that to you and also getting an Officer to lend $5K an implant will do it too!!
She “messed up again when she tried / spent all theSam!!‘s money and cried, and everything just fell apart”
Yep, Kate’s performances in “theVomit Painted Veil” could have been stronger if only her friends and family cared to mount a Campaign to help out her VillageChixxx career.
Instead she got tipsy on Imported bubbly and got Mounted by a few men. Looks like she’ll continue theVillageChildren franchise into theNew Year......And speaking of “riding”.
Nomi (50K volts and 40) Watts emerged as a female Dark-horse. That’ll do it though, after theTaser leads hit you you don’t see a thing as your eyes are closed and Pain is your God.
Trust theSam!! he knows.
Gee. now we got a darkhorse and a Flyinghorse in theVillage!! What’s next? My little pony’s!?
Rene (from theStill) Swiggers played the lead role in “Miss Pot”. She was a little hard to understand in the vocal track room as she had to redubb her lines.
See, it’s often hard to understand Anybody after they’ve taken a hit of Pot or other Inhalant drug as their throat immediately seizes and they sound like they’re being strangled as they start to spout Glib Utterances.
Oh well. in theEnd Miss Maryl, Miss Kate and Ms Nomi should wrap things up, or at least cover UP!!
BeforeVillage-Pred (predator) Bill Condom comes a sneaking and starts filming another Internet installment of “DreamGirls”, which by the way Directed itself.
Such activities helped Mr Bill win theCategory for “theDeparted” and he should be back in 10 to 15 yrs to claim his Golden globe awards but by then they’ll be sagging and used up.
Stephani Jeers wins hands down (and top!!) as she joins theVillageChixxx Gang in “theQueen”
She joins a long line of A, B & C (felony) listers and even theSam!! as role in being a “Queen” from time to time in theVillage.
Hey, those Villages are by and large, Matriarchal societys. You can literally swim in theEstrogen by floating off thePlane when you arrive at theLanding Strip.
Well, that about does it for this months installment of Life in theCelebrityVillage.
I’m theSam!! and that’s that.
theSam!!
labeled by Dispatch as flirty!!
theSam!!
of whom it was said, that he didn’t want theKing to hold his pickles or to touch his lettuce!!
theSam!!
who’s restless leg syndrome could only be relieved by long walks....to each Village girlfriends house!!
theSam!!
leading theFight in theGlobal War On Village!!
theSam!!
theSecurity Officer just got a little more Insecure!!
theSam!!
!!dednah tfeL, or Right handed....he’s got you covered!!
Forwards and neve !!sdrawkcaB
For Survival
In one certain dream that haunts me, I’m looking through the ruins of a community, a large town, a city and I walk for miles and miles.
Smoke stings my eyes, chokes my lungs, fires consume what once used to be homes, commercial & business sites, abandoned vehicles are strewn about. Then the haze is moved away by theWinds and I see things that I wished I had not seen.
A child’s toy, postal letters, coins catch my eye and the occasional place where nothing is disturbed sits in stark contrast with the damage and destruction all around. Decayed bodies human and animal, friends and foes also lie about.
But last night as I slept fitfully in my Apt, I was above all the destruction. Had somehow acquired a parachute and had been to someplace high and caught the winds that now blow across the land.
The patched canopy had seen better days, the lines were worn and I took comfort that the Leading edge caught the winds and each Cell filled with air keeping me airborne.
Long ago I had learned to fold a 300square foot canopy in 10mins and it wasn’t theMilitary that did this. It was a group of Russian skydivers-the owners of theDrop Zone where I briefly worked after I left military service.
Ivan and Sasha were small men and in many ways they were giants in my eyes.
“You Amar icanz theengk you knnow evary theng. Mister Crazee hoorse, you waaddge me and you lerrn how to fold pprop arly.” Ivan’s mouth barely moved as he carefully phrased his broken English to me, strong hands expertly worked the nylon lines and fabric.
I packed 10 square canopies that first day. On day 4, I packed 18 and on the 12th day I was packing 38 chutes a day.
As theJump Instructors Ivan, Sasha, Taran and Zuri went up with each student at least one of them would randomly take apart a canopy I packed, look at it and then repack it and then start throwing packed chutes into the waiting arms of their skydiving students.
A month later Tara looked at me through the perpetual cloud of Kool smoke that framed her slender face and spoke to me.
“When I was living in Germany last year I worked at one of the military hospitals. I dated one of your people. He was much shorter.” Her accent wasn’t as lilted as theMen but her voice was more intense.
“You are already capable of worfare, it’s in yor Blud. It’s in your face, yor beedy eyes, Learn to take care of the Tools and the rest will come back to you”, Tara exhaled a months worth of smoke around me and stood up.
She wet her fingers with her tongue and sniffed out her cigarette. Tucked it into her tresses above her hairline and went to greet some female clients that had come to Jump Tandem. That cigarette never blew out of her hair and she only wore goggles when she jumped. She theArial acrobat who flipped, twirled and spun like a top in free-fall flight.
Where ever my old friends are these days if they’re still alive, I bet you’d find a cigarette or Cigar in Taran’s hair, Blood in Ivan & Sasha’s Vodka and a Taco bell wrap in Zuris hand.
I lifted higher and higher and soon I could see the devastation all around. I sat in harness and faced the wind as a small odd shaped cloud lifted up to greet me as I approached theCity. All my life I had been with glasses and contact lenses and I had found that my physical maladies were now gone.
I could see better than ever and was glad that I had, for the most part, kept my body clean and in physical shape all my life. And those I once knew that had lived riotously were gone, dead, having not survived the madness that overtook everyone across the planet at once
For as civilization broke down and hope left people’s hearts a wave of violence swept theNation, engulfed theWorld, and soon Reports and stories from afar bled your ears.
Friends and neighbors turned on each other and literally took each other apart by blade and by hand. People wore body parts and organs in a drunken revelry as equally bloody onlookers cheered and danced. Blood was drunk from people still living.
All manner of Rape and penetration assaulted any female. No one was spared a puncture wound of some kind or
broken bones or abrasions Infants and small children were dashed to pieces by their mothers, Elderly were brutally murdered by their relatives or caretakers.
Hospitals and even Law Enforcement officials, once bastions of Decency and Safety, Protectors of theLiving and the Injured were not spared the madness either. For they both Gave and Received.
Prisoners were burned alive in their cells and some broken bars and steel doors broken from theInside Out were testament to the remarkable Will to Live of some detainees. And elsewhere in some communities all officers and their families were hunted by packs of angry citizens, leaping and bounding like gazelles who did catch speeding Police vehicles and did take apart the screaming occupants limb by limb.
Only those few citizens that were spared death from those people around them were theProtected ones, Some Christians, some goodly people in Other religions, surprisingly even a few non Believers too.
And we also heard of some good news from afar that buffered the tales of horror. Of terminally ill people rising from their beds, of paralysis, dialysis and other people bound to machines and medications, asleep for years suddenly up and walking.
Miracles near and far stemmed the blood from our ears and eyes and we knew that theDivine was at work in our lives.
For it was how a person had lived their lives and of how their public service had molded them, shaped their personalities and marked them in theEyes of those around them on that fateful day when theWorld went mad.
Death was not so for everyone in vice and greed it seemed. Even some good people had perished and what was left of theHuman family dwelt together in small pockets of communities, tribal bands that clung together fiercely for survival.
I only sprained an ankle trying to push people away as a large crowd descended upon me and a group of Police as we gathered around some fallen assault victims. We started to lend First Response aid when the crowds attacked us.
I never saw my friends again, I only found a bent Badge of one man and a tattered uniform sleeve from a good wife & mother. What protected me I think at that moment was my stillness. I didn’t cry out, didn’t draw a weapon to fight, I didn’t get angry at all.
I think that was theConnection between theLiving and theUnseen evil that was palpable that day all around us. It was that feeling of despair and anger. The Hate that evil has for good took over theHumans that gave into anger, into hatred and insanity.
Some of us survivors that got together later and talked spoke about theTemptations to fight, to steal, to rape and plunder.
It was real, it was overwhelming for some and terrifying for us all.
I could only tell to those around me that it was like a child-hood event, when I toddled around under a rattle snake infested hole under the trailer house and didn’t get bitten. I wasn’t a threat to the snakes.
Like one farm experience when a group of bulls jumped the 10’ high steel fences and started running after people, I rounded the corner oblivious to the fact that a couple dozen, 3/4ton beasts were running at me. I stood still and the bulls trotted past me.
Even when I was on my Church mission and we approached a house as we went house to house. And one large family dog ran full speed at us Missionaries to leap on us, but at the last second it stopped, or rather, it was stopped by an unseen hand. Our protection was our Goodness at that time. But the dog still nipped at my shoe heel as we Elders left the surprised homeowner.
It was clear in his eyes that his dogs were supposed to attack and scare away solicitors, but he did talk to us about religion and then sent us on our way. These experiences I thought of and told those around me, they silently listened and nodded. I too heard their tales of how in their lives they were spared misfortune and how today they felt that protection again.
Yes, it was all about how you lived your life and what God had in store for you to help others.
Yes, good people died that day of Madness, and some bad people still lived, but overall we were all deeply touched and torn to our Souls at the fact that we were finally hit again by our enemies outside our Nations borders and by our enemies from within just days after theMadness left.
It was time to get serious about life and time to protect theLiving that remained.
Soon I was in the midst of a swirling cloud of paper. I reached out, grasping at the smaller pieces that packed against me then flitted away from my reach, for I thought I recognized the shapes and colors.
I saw that it was money. The denominations were a different kind than the American bills that I was used to seeing all my life. The faces upon the brown hued bills looked Spanish, or Russian and my heart sank. For in some places of my beloved country theEnemy had taken over and established their Ways of life.
I got more dirty as more papers, more detris upon the winds contacted me, as more smoke from below enveloped me and I started to descend.
I touched down on the edge of the City and could hear distant noise, what I knew from living around railroad facilities and the Industrial parts of town to be Heavy machinery and rail cars moving, clacking their couplings together and wheels squealing their brakes in high pitched frequency.
Shrugging out of the parachute harness and concealing theCanopy, I crouched low and proceeded to move.
What I once used to do in theVillage and in theCity sometimes back when I used to Exercise for recreation, of slowly jogging hunched over and eventually dipping lower and going faster-I now did as easily as blinking.
Then I heard theEnemy behind me and I froze in step. I thought I had been spotted and awaited severe injury or Death from their weapons but felt neither.
In 120 seconds I had slowly, completely turned around and knelt down, again what I had once done in my younger days in theVillage as recreation in stalking animals and even some Villagers as they worked outside their homes I could get close enough to touch them after stepping and crawling slower than the 2nd hand of the clock-was just as natural as breathing.
Even theHomeless in theCity, when I lived there for a few years, before theCalamities, knew of Hiding in plain site. Would step off theTransit buses and in a few steps would become part of the scenery.
I saw theEnemy as they approached my landing site, had rolled over the hiding spot in their armored vehicles where I buried theParachute canopy and they didn’t see my tracks at all, for I had learned to step lightly and to move across fresh snow, over fine powdered dust and upon broken glass and metal without a sound without a trace.
Even theEnemy was in want and without their Optics and gadgets that let them see in theDark, see theHeat from the human body. But even then, sometimes a person could defeat or negate these Optics and still be in close proximity to theEnemy.without being detected.
For in theHigh days of my beloved Country’s military strength it was prestigious to possess and to use theElectronic tools and weapons.
Being a basic In theTrenches, getting Dirty and bloody Warrior wasn’t the thing to do or to be for most of theSoldiers and as the years passed with theInvasion and Occupation by theEnemy all resources for weapons and ammo for all things tech support and repair had gone by the way side.
Now it was every man and woman for themselves and theOld time skills of hunting, stalking for game dominated theWarfare scene that was today.
I saw that theEnemy did not detect my presence and in another 120 seconds I had resumed crouching and was slowly stepping away. What had once been a luxurious two hour massage for some of my Clients back in the early 1990’s, now in a span of 2 hours time I was only a short distance from theEnemy.
I had learned to remember the old ways of life and in my moments of slow moving and hiding, I compared small tasks and events I once took for granted to help me pass the time, to take the edge off my suspense. I moved slowly and silently, dropped into a low crawl then froze for 20 minutes as I slowly looked around.
Yet I remained out in theOpen and away from cover. For sometimes theEnemy did look for us in hiding places and they did not see a disguised person standing on their head next to a tree, did not see us hiding by hugging a piece of twisted steel building supports, did not see us literally inside theWheel wells of discarded vehicles wrapped around the damaged tires.
We often see the familiar and see what is Normal to us and theEnemy only saw destruction, but now we Americans were theHunted and we were doing all we could to fight back and retake our Lands and Cities.
I had managed to keep my Soul and sanity over the years by preparing myself years ago, for I had taken Life’s experiences and made great memories for myself. And in the times of Stress and even in hand to hand combat with theEnemy part of my mind was always focused upon those good safe memories that I once made when I was younger.
In the midst of chaos I was centered upon things precious to me and I kept my cool, I kept my head-Kept my Life!
Memories of the Village children playing and swimming by theRiver, theTimes when a single young lady wanted to be primped and preened by my Cosmetology skills. Times when I ate with my family and friends in theVillage during special events.
Even in theCity when a fellow Security guard wanted her long hair braided, even a friend of hers a female cop. And the times when day to day life was safe and predictable....those days were gone, all those people that I once knew were gone. We all missed time back when things were so simple and time so fleeting.
I started to go up slope and made my way through what once used to be a well kept subdivision. For I had once Patrolled these streets of theCity and had even delivered take-out foods here once. Looked around and saw nothing of theNeighborhoods that I once drove through.
As I struggled up theSteep hillsides I thought of the early 2000’s when I first learned to Fight Fire on a regional Fire suppression team. We were dispatched to an Interior wild-land fire that ravaged a populated region of theState.
One day during our Firefighting Teams daily hike To and From the fire site, I had to stop climbing up the steep slope.
Each step we took was like stepping up really high to a foothold that was literally waist high and taking another step, the Forest terrain was that rugged.
Then in my blurred, exhausted field of vision I saw a young man slow stepping up next to me. This young man carried his body weight in tools, food, water and he was zig-zagging back and forth on the trail, essentially he was saving his knees and conserving his energy.
“I hate you” I grinned at the Young man as he passed effortlessly by me. He looked at me and smiled.
So I adjusted my climbing steps as this young man reached out to me from theOther side and helped me travel up the Steep housing slopes adjacent to a ruined City. As others had reached out and yet others still would reach out to me, as I hopefully would reach out later when I passed Over.
Miles below me and to theSouth, I had once taken a short cut through a community and got lost in a maze of side streets and cul-de-sacs. Auughhh.. I was so frustrated and Dispatch laughed at me and 5 minutes later was talking me back to theMain road and I was back on Patrol. All those people were gone.
Most everyone had gone inland during theEvacuations. New communities sprang up along theTwo State highways, smaller communities already in existance doubled, Tripled and Quadrupled in population overnight. But then thePopulation dropped suddenly due to factional strife, disease, hunger and still more mass migrations.
I climbed higher and higher to a vantage point East of theCity where theLeaders had told us Commissioned Officers to go. Where theIntel from a couple of Still functioning military Satellites had detected Life.
I was one of a dozen that was called from our Region. I left my Village years ago and had been all over theState where I once lived previous.
Had driven, flown, parachuted into, walked and boated into once Safe places that for the most part No Longer existed, were abandoned and often destroyed to deny theEnemy in our midst safe haven from theWinter storms.
None of us Officers that were sent in to any given area of theState ever traveled together. We left Base at different times and only knew theOther members of our teams. Often we would go in and then wait a predetermined amount of time before continuing our missions.
Sometimes I never saw my other Officer friends, a few Villagers, some former Pipeline workers, a couple of school teachers and some medical doctors. People that you would have never guessed years ago to be doing something so different and so vital for Survival of those Remaining.
We were all one thing one day and theNext day, all that we knew was gone. So what could we be? Only those that had lived their lives and knew a myriad of skills knew what to do, they Led.
This dream, among others haunts my sleep, I just had to tell it and give it characters and a little more detail than what I actually see. Because I can’t tell what I really see and yet I try. Words can’t describe the carnage, the devastation and conflict.
But all I can repeat again and again is that if we are prepared and blessed, protected by Plagues and strife that come our way then life will be a little easier for us.
We prepare by sacrifice, by goodly Christian living or honestly living in harmony with what ever belief you observe.
You help others and build up Not your own wealth and self-image, you build up others and give up your dreams for theirs.
Just keep in mind the Good intents that our Nations Founding Fathers had for us today, Now.
It wasn’t an Immoral nation that tolerated and supported same-sex relations. It wasn’t a Nation that supported other Peoples ways of life to theExclusion of all Ways American. It wasn’t a Nation that removed the 10 Commandments from Public view and removed Prayer from schools and public venues.
We were always meant to be a God following, God fearing nation that truly LEADs the way for the rest of theWorld.
We’re not expected to give into our enemies as they slowly & illegally cross our borders and slowly take over our land.
May this new Year 2007 be the best time for all of us.
God bless us everyone, and may God continue to Bless and Protect America
theSam!!
whom is frequently kind and suddenly cool, whom can do as he pleases s/he’s everyone’s Fool!! whom can’t be convicted, he’s earned his degree,
and theMost he will do is throw excuses at you, he crys like a child and has always pouted since age 3!
NO!!! she takes care of himself, he can shave if he wants, his Blogs never rhyme.
Noo!!! and he never gives out, just always gives in and just changes his...flat tires!!
he eats on theCheap and theMost he will do is throw excuses at you, he’s always on the Internet till 3!!
theSam!!
It happened to me!! Now you can read all about it.
theSam!!
theOnly non-silicone / saline Boob-Job that ever happened to theVillage!!
And by far theSoftest One too!!
theSam!!
Village-tested, Diamond-willow stick proven!!
theSam!!
here comes theNebe again, falling on his head like a felon inMotion!!
theBlog!!
whom else wants to be an Expert on Village after reading over 100 documents in 30 days or less!?
And you’ll look absolutely a Mess while doing it too!!
theBlog!!
Own a piece of Authentic Nebraskan history by downloading all 100+ files today and save, save, save to your hard drive.
theBlog!!
finally a place to learn about theVillage!!
theBlog!!
at least get up off theFloor and onto theCouch so we can write about you!!
theBlog!!
until there is noVillage!!
theVillage!!
Always, always Low standards!!
theVillage!!
until there is noBlog!!
theVillage!
doing unto Ourselves first before kooky Outsiders move in and Blog about us!!
theCity!!
I was watching a Hockey game on theInternet once when I was guarding a Security Post, at least until thePolice Officer drove away and I had to put my Binoculars down. I didn’t know the NHL had female players cos there was lots of PINK on theOfficers Laptop.
Anchorage!!
I walked TO Mtn View at night and since theSidewalks weren’t cleared of snow yet, I used the street-And Survived!!
And due to theRecent spike in Emergency & Police vehicles being involved in Motor vehicle crashes I saw a lot more Assault victims hitch-hiking or else getting a taxi to theHospitals,
I saw more Aggressors & DUI offenders just stagger to theJail all by themselves, and people literally Run FROM anything Emergency these days i.e. Police, EMT’s, even Security!! (me)
Anchorage!!
I froze stiff while waiting outside to ride on the RapidTransitBuses and I froze stiff with the windows stuck open and no heat as theDriver sat ensconced in a protective cocoon of fleece and acrylic blankies and sipped on hot coffee, and then we had to wait 2hrs at 36th & Arctic for construction (again).
I got mugged while in transit through Spenard and I’m not sure, but I think the Young woman that sat next to me was a Hooker, she only rode a few blocks, I’ve got no $ and now it burns when I urina.....
I now practice on my DownHill skiing technique when theBus suddenly slams to a stop within 100’.
I literally spend 4 seconds leaned towards theBack of theBus at a 45deg angle to theFloor. And if there’s an extra second available I try to get in 8 pullups as I go literally Parallel to theFloor!!
Anchorage!!
Our Sleeping Lady got her Trypto phan on Thanksgiving & Christmas Days at theShelter with all her buddies and then decided to limp and crawl after she broke her leg and had to go to Emergency room then she finally got her Trypto Jail!! Can’t trust theEMS vehicles.
Anchorage!!
Our Sleeping Lady was incensed that AKClubs broke into her athletic room locker and bagged up her stuff, as they had moved thePrestigious downtown Club to more Palatial digs on 4th Ave and didn’t tell SL about it, it’s not like they had no phones or mail service in Jail!! come on!!
Anchorage!!
Everyone’s little brother (theYoung looking Mayor) is faithfully spending many hours at night, after televised city council meetings at theLibrary, on Arctic & 36th sitting on a backhoe or else digging alongside Manuel & Cisco in the trenches.
Anchorage!!
Our Tent City has expanded theTV channels to include worldwide Cultural tv. That way when Paco from spain gets fired by theAlaskanPrincess!! tours he can live at theShelters and still keep abreast of news in his homeland!
Same thing with Ruca from Brazil, Margi from Sweden, Sven from Switerland, And little Dali from India just has to dial any 888 number and talk to her relatives!!
Anchorage!!
did we shamefully mention that we STILL have theSam!!?
Anchorage!!
Our Nude dancers & strippers are STILL more dressed than ALL of theMall retail Kiosk girls!!
A few DaySpas & High end Salons were advertising and doing actual full-body work over theHolidays to lure in new Clients and theSam!! was hired as guest consultant for a few services.
Anchorage!!
Tyrone, Keesha, Tunithia, Jamal, Get off that nice mans snow boots!! Stand up straight I said!! Jamal?!! where’s my purse again?! Come here now, Tyrone!! Our stop is coming up, pull the yellow cable. Keeesha and Tun....
Anchorage!!
at least theHeavy snowfalls have padded out theBumpy streets for a few months, as if our Cellphone using, DVD watching, Internet surfing, reaching for theCoffee, applying makeup, driving with one foot and dressing oneself-while driving citizens weren’t scary enough.
Now we gotta worry about all of the above while everyone speeds on the slick icy streets.
Anchorage!!
Play Bus Transit Luge while going for broke on theLong icy stretches and when accelerating in the turns.
Just hold on tight to the person in front of you, suck right into them and .. wait. We all ready do that because theTransit logos are still sardine cans with 3 people packed into it.
Anchorage!!
theCold winter takes out the lingering smell of LiquidAss that permeates each Transit Bus, but theClosed windows captures theStale whiskey, theBO and all those other hideous odors that just clashes with theSam!!’s old Navy & old Spice. He has to dab an extra tator tot behind his ear just to endure theNebes riding beside him.
Anchorage!!
theTeen Crisis center at the4th Ave Mall Parking Garages had to close up shop as too many cute interns & volunteers kept getting pregnant and then becoming theAgency’s new clients. The Speedy Day care plans on taking in extra clients though!!
theHooka bar went up in Smoke!! (cough-cough) It’s still unknown Whom let those Goth Kids in to run that smoke shop. We thought we kicked them out 4 yrs ago, but looks like a certain Someone was spoon fed cheesecake and he looked the other way.
theTwo bank branches kept getting robbed by their own Staff and had to cut back on hours of operation and theSubwayz shop keeps losing a few chocolate chip cookies each month, oddly this only happened after a certain Guard comes to visit and chat up theCute Cashiers.
Anchorage!!
All Nebes found face down in theParks & Alleys are put to work holding up theHoliday lights and signs.
Anchorage!!
our hot Run away fashion models are sure glad they’re wearing Real Fur!! Brrrr it’s cold out there.
Anchorage!!
Still the People your parents warned you about and still less dressed than theTourists. Sissies!!, it’s only -30F
Anchorage!!
it’s that time of year to Keep an Eye out for Moose nuggets on the sidewalk and if you see one or two footie prints that are smaller than Mama’s hooves, it’s too late cos you’re already dead.
Anchorage!!
at least that Goofy Security Guard isn’t riding his Bicycle anymore.
and still more....
Ripped From theHeadlines!! (as in grabbed by the hair during a domestic and Pull!!)
theWacko, ends 2006 New Year without a home and estranged from his Village family.
We’re told that inspite of his arrival in Anchorage over 3 trimesters ago
theBeloved Son!! has only been in Casual touch with his family as they visited theCity now and then.
Their was theBrief screaming match at theNorthWayMall over a pair earrings, a tussle in theBookstores next to theGiant Kiddy playground, as theGoodSon!! wanted to play in theMall and Mother wanted to look at books.
theChilds!! Nanny wasn’t onhand to purposely isolate theSon!! from his family as was the original intent.
(sigh)
And speaking of personal assistants, point-man, manager and public relations, theSam!! will be hiring such advisors to help guide his Internet career for the Year 2007!!
Any interested persons should know that theProduct!! loves cheesecake and eats it too!!
oh.. and pizza, spaghetti, meat & potatos, chinese takeout, pop, chips, candy.
You know, just basic Stripper food, as thePoledOne needs a nutritionist or two to help keep him fit as he slims down even more!!
theMascaraOne also needs a new hairStylist and Makeup artist too!! And he’s considering a new Threads position for Wardrobe, as for now he just wears a towel around theApt!! in his private time.
Until then, theSam!! sits in his Mtn View Apt contemplating his next move........Knight forward and left? or a Pawn two jumps forward, Maybe just one checker jump ahead and hope for the best?!
In other events, theSecurity!! moves around theCity oblivious to thePublic around him, completely at a loss as to theResponsibility or Reality of theMoment, dragging with him 3 small precious items.
His food bag, his backpack and his Winter overcoat that has everything else he needs to survive - sewn into theSleeves and theHood!!
We’ll have more news on theCook!! himself and see if he can still butter his toast without dropping it on theKitchen floor again.
VillageBest Actors & Actresses!!
Thanks to an apparent lack of imagination on the part of several Village men, there aren’t too many surprises to pull upon their VPSO’s and VPO’s this time of year.
Longtime Inebriate Forst (Chinny) Whiskers has already stolen every single community prize and suddenly announced himself theKing of Potland!!
Pete (stolen) Tools might have won for his role as boyfriend to a local Village Venus but he got cold feet and took off on her and her babe in theWomb. That left theSam!! in theRed again as another Hottie gets to pander and cry for help each month for support.
It seems that Pete has been absent from theCampaign push against all Village Safety Officers, as these movements often happen every 2 years, every 4 years and oddly enough, Each weak too!! Maybe Pete’s in jail?!
“Still” Smith is still trying to Pursue happyness by brewing and imbibing.
Smith almost was able to “topple” Forst Whiskers but nothing can ever topple an Inebriate that moves like “Seaweed” when you grab him roughly and pull him off balance!!
Still and Pete were “almost” into the roles of Best Village Inebriate that would have certainly put them into theWatchful gaze of theMen from theSafety Academy!!
Hey, when you’ve been seen by theBoys behind theBadge and are awarded a few contusions theSize of a Christmas Globe and you literally see “Stars” after being arrested then you’ve certainly done your work like a good Villager should.
Still Smith has done the most “work”, if I may use that expression loosely, in getting himself away from 30, 60 and 90 Days and moving into theBig Leagues of 5 to 10 yrs!! Incredible performances from these lovable Village Nebes.
Leanard Hubcaprioput!! decided to go after a piece of jewelry and got blood all over it. LH is an “also ran” in the From theLaw category.
This young man spiced up Village life recently in his lead role in theAviator!! by screaming at theSafety Officers to
“catch me if you can!!” and sprinting through theWoods to theVillage landing strip where he fired up the Aircraft that was parked overnight and took it for a spin around theVillage airstrip before he had his “flying license taken away” by Village Officers and some Village Leaders alike.
Now everybody is mad at theVPSO for ever bringing those FlightSafety people into theVillage at all and giving theKids free rides and talking them all through theChecklists and Engine starting procedures.
Leonard Hubcaprioput was looking for a signature move to make before he went off to theBig house, we think he may have found it by throwing both arms up while lying on his back screaming as stroked batons descend!! and ascend and descend!! and ascend...
Meanwhile aged VillageChick!! Aunt Emmie is still frugal with her “Emmy nods” as she quietly passes out-bottle in hand.
And indeed!! Those Elders that have gone before all others (to Jail and Rehab!!) can rightly say whom and where, what and when each younger generation of Villagers gets to carry on theWaywardness of Village Life, indeed.
Maryl (landing) Strip, Penny (steals theCop car to) cruze, Katey Inlet and Judith (always sitting in front of theState Troops cuffed to their big Oaken) Bench!! are also up for Emmy nods and even looks from old Villager “Oscar” for their Domestic performances in theYVC Inc (doh!!) region.
Katey is doing good work in theMaking of “Village Children”, the twins are like,, what? Her 6th and 7th children now?
Kudos to theVillageChick!! for her IRL / in real life roles but her Corrections use Career is going Bust!! Literally, she’s got a rack that would be theEnvy of any VillageGurl’s URL site.
Having kids will do that to you and also getting an Officer to lend $5K an implant will do it too!!
She “messed up again when she tried / spent all theSam!!‘s money and cried, and everything just fell apart”
Yep, Kate’s performances in “theVomit Painted Veil” could have been stronger if only her friends and family cared to mount a Campaign to help out her VillageChixxx career.
Instead she got tipsy on Imported bubbly and got Mounted by a few men. Looks like she’ll continue theVillageChildren franchise into theNew Year......And speaking of “riding”.
Nomi (50K volts and 40) Watts emerged as a female Dark-horse. That’ll do it though, after theTaser leads hit you you don’t see a thing as your eyes are closed and Pain is your God.
Trust theSam!! he knows.
Gee. now we got a darkhorse and a Flyinghorse in theVillage!! What’s next? My little pony’s!?
Rene (from theStill) Swiggers played the lead role in “Miss Pot”. She was a little hard to understand in the vocal track room as she had to redubb her lines.
See, it’s often hard to understand Anybody after they’ve taken a hit of Pot or other Inhalant drug as their throat immediately seizes and they sound like they’re being strangled as they start to spout Glib Utterances.
Oh well. in theEnd Miss Maryl, Miss Kate and Ms Nomi should wrap things up, or at least cover UP!!
BeforeVillage-Pred (predator) Bill Condom comes a sneaking and starts filming another Internet installment of “DreamGirls”, which by the way Directed itself.
Such activities helped Mr Bill win theCategory for “theDeparted” and he should be back in 10 to 15 yrs to claim his Golden globe awards but by then they’ll be sagging and used up.
Stephani Jeers wins hands down (and top!!) as she joins theVillageChixxx Gang in “theQueen”
She joins a long line of A, B & C (felony) listers and even theSam!! as role in being a “Queen” from time to time in theVillage.
Hey, those Villages are by and large, Matriarchal societys. You can literally swim in theEstrogen by floating off thePlane when you arrive at theLanding Strip.
Well, that about does it for this months installment of Life in theCelebrityVillage.
I’m theSam!! and that’s that.
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