Sofa Kingdom!!

11Dec 2006

thePrincessSam!!

Well it’s official. theAlaskanPrincess is just an airhead.
When we showed her theDancePole results she just stared at us blankly through her Hoop-Flamed theme Goth-Contac lenses with her coal black eyes and nonchalantly shrugged her soft, bare white shoulders and skipped away bare footed clacking her bubble gum.

She E-mailed us later with terse words about others using her Dance Pole in theWildernessLodge Bar without her knowledge and demanded compensation from all the Lodge females that had used her stage & Pole.

Wage and Labor laws only required us to backdate any and all applicable aggrandizement fees to applicable current and past LodgeDancers to 5yrs. So far that’s alright with herThighness.

And she ended her E-mail tirade by saying that “being an Airhead was better than being a PezDispenser!”
BytheWay, “has anyone seen her SpongeBob & PatrickStarFish candies??”

what ever.

theAlaskanPrincess!!
these are just a few of Her Favorite things.

When alone by herself her bubbly she sippin's,
When her jackets and jeans start to unzippens,
When her hands wear cuddly cute furry Kittens (mittens)

When her Employees bite!!
When her G Strings!!
These are a few of her favorite things!!

Sofa Kingdom!!
“CrewMembers Needed” the sign told me, parumpa pum pum
pedophile King wants to Play with me!, parumpa pum pum
His Pain is your gain, parumpa pum pum
Why is his head so big?!, parumpa pum pum?

Our pride like gifts we bring, parumpa pum pum.
to lay before theKing, parumpa pum pum
on the wet counter, parumpa pum pum
theAssistant Mgr and theFry cook needs a shower, parumpa pum pum

So to Work for Him, parumpa pum pum
when we come (or go to one of his restaurants in theCity!)

Se habla espanol?! theManager said
I am a Minority too!, parumpa pum pum
Dude, I can’t understand a word you just said, parumpa pum pum

I have no more Blood to bring, parumpa pum pum,
or Life left that’s fit to give theKing, parumpa pum pum
thePrincess took both long ago, parumpa pum pum

Shall I Village for you?, parumpa pum pum
He stuck up both thumbs!! (in the Air), parumpa pum pum

theDrive-through attendant nodded, parumpa pum pum (off to sleep again)
theBrunette and theBlonde chicks are gay, parumpa pum pum

I played my Cellphone music list for Him, parumpa pum pum
then He smiled that Creepy smile at me parumpa pum pum
Now I know how my VillageChixxx!! feel, parump pum pum

I gave my application to Him, parumpa pum pum
(and resume, recent background checks, food manager & alcohol server certificates, and my referrals lists)

Then He kicked me out of the store parumpa pum pum!!
On my bum, Ouch!!

3 Kings found theFord (but not their Keys)
There were 3 nebes, who followed theCar,
stolen by their friend Beth Leeham.
Oh!!

We 3 Inebriates with slant eyes are
Disoriented, search for Downtown bar.

theCab is loaded, Heinies colon exploded
chinese fire drill!!

Stars, mind wanders, City lights so bright.
Scream and shout, with window reflection I fight

Lost the tune along with sobriety about 30 years ago.....

theSam!! sings
accompanied by the 6 AlaskanPrincesses on their G strings (flat and very thin!)

Chest nuts roasting in theMicrowave
Jack Frost nipping from a paper sack

Yule tide carols being sung by a Chiropractor
and folks dressed up like eskim.... like Athabascan’s

Everybody knows some turkey and missing toes
make the Holiday season so Drowsy and Limping Red!!

Villagers with eyes all aglow find it hard to sleep tonight
They know “theSamta!!” is on his way.
(they saw his lights 40miles away on theMountain pass as he leads yet another convoy of stuck cars and tourist travelers to theVillage)

He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies in his Nissan truck
and every mothers child is gonna smile when they
see that presents and reindeer sausages know how to fly
(after he plunges off theRoad and hits a tree just around the bend from theVillage!!)

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
to Villagers from 1 to 92
although its been said. many times many ways..

“get your hands up!! drop theBottle!!
step out of the car!! walk backwards slowly!!” etc.

theAlaskan Princess!!
here at any of our ourFine Wilderness Lodges, Resorts and Casinos,
We don’t just host live Holiday showings of “theNutCracker!!”
theAlaskan Princess!! just is!!

theSam!! would just like to say that today is a very special day.
It's Mothers Birthday, she's.... "34" and though Son E. Boy!! can't be in
theVillage!! right now to celebrate with her, basically eat cake, Ice cream and sleep or sit around in her way and aggravate as usual, she knows that all of us kids, whom she booted out of theNest years and Months ago!! are still with her in spirit.

Happy Birthday Mama.

Luvs, Son E. Boy!!
It's me, sonny.

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