thePrincessDodge!!

theAthabaskanAlaskanPrincessLodge!!
theEmployees haveEscaped, completely!!

----

I'm theSam!! and theHeavyHoobered!! AthabascanPrincessAlaskan caught up to me at work the other day and handed me this short Note to Post for you!!

She told me that if I didn't Post this for you,
She'd playfully slap my Ass and then make me Accuse her falsely of SexualHarassment or something like that, d:oP
----

theAlaskanPrincess!!
theWho, What, Where?! and When!! of AlaskanTerrorism!! uhr..
I meant... "Tourism!!",

but sadly, Not theWhy!?

we leave theScreaming and pleading of "Why?!, why me now!? WhY?!, WHY?!"
to our female Emps when their Normal everyday lives are Interupted via a company
Letter stating,

"congratulations!! You've just Won a Trip to Alaska!!
Please report to UncleTedStevensIntl Airport on (date & time) and a LuxeryCoach will whisk you and the"ChosenFew' away to a WildernessCastle!!

We anticipate your stay to be from 5 to 6 months but some Employe... erh.
We mean, some PrizeWinnerz have opted to extend their stay with us, or else at some other Correctional Facility...,,

uhh.. We mean, in theEmploy of great entities, Such as in care of theState!!... etc etc. Ad nauseum, after their first Slave Seaso... Uhmm their first Summer Work season with us, but,

If you wish to ALSO extend your stay with us at our OtherFineLodges, You can opt to help CareTake our WinterLodges during the long, dark Winter months,

Just buy your FireMen's axe in anchorage before flying out to our Lodges and practice this dramatic movieLine, "hhheeerrreeessss Joohnny!!"

Or else you can be in care of theState by smuggling in "recreational pharmaceuticals" to use and then just Assault an coWorker or 3 and theState will take over your future from there!!

Good luck and we'll see you from theTop!! (of theFoodChainLadder)
your (un)Truly, theAlaskanPrincess!!


theAlaskanAthabascanPrincess!!
wage works even when theEmployees don't!!


theAthabaskinAlaskanPrincess!!

who's wildernessOutlook as of late,
seems more Espress (o) than Express!! (theEmailprogram)

theAlaskanPrincess!!
More humanResources than ever,
cos of theFlood of 90DayWorkVisa's from Abroad!!
....and a couple of blondes

theAlaskanPrincess!!
Out laying in her field!!

She means, she's pool side by theOlympic-sized pool sunning herself
alongside her Geezer tourists!!

theAthabaskanAlaskanPrincess!!
so into Micro!!managing her extendedPool of college-Age staff
from theLower48,

she personally oversees nightly janitorial "touchUpDetails" of theLobby bathrooms by theHem of her own Moose-hide MicroMini wrapSkirt or else by thePostageStamp-sized "washTag" of her Caribou & Walrus skin thong,

and she scrapes theBakeOvens all by herself just to eat up edible crumbs before theNightSecuritySam!! makes his nightlyLodge security rounds and beats her to theWalkInFreezers,

and she sees to it that theDiningRoom accessed WineCabinet personally has it's
own MySpace web page complete with 24 / 7 webCam and realTime Audio capture!!

theAlaskanPrincess!!
always thoughtful of her Employees Diet, Health & Welfare concerns,

She orders 18"x24"x18" Usable, RealFootLockers cast from "RealChocolate" to be placed in theLivingQuarters Module rooms of ALL her diabeticWorkers,

and she's placed all her AA & NarcRecovering Staff in charge of Bar duties and EmployeeStaff Activities!! and mandates that Noise Levels (that are closelyMonitored via liveInetFeeds to her LodgeRoom) never go below RockConcert levels!!

or else Everybody gets fired!!

theAlaskanPrincess!!
who's New and Innovative "WildernessSAFE!!" approach to helping her 2008 Summer Tourist season Employees in staying safe at work will fly all summerLong,

with the formation of theLodges Health-Wealth, SafetyInsecurity and Environmental
RecognitionProgram!!

Basically when you sign theDotted-Line and work for thePrincess!! and her 5 sisters at any one of theirStateLodges,

You sign away your health, or at least have it wrecked and damaged by living for 5 to 6 months in Isolation, thus you begin to Drink (and what else!!)

and she doesn't pay much either, thus taking care of your Wealth concerns, because quite frankly, You won't have "any" concerns at all if you drink vast quantities of alcohol,

Thus by process of elimination in your Expectations, you'll not be so worried about having contact with localWildLife lurking around every corner and alongside every footpath around theLodgesCompounds,

thus your Safety and Security needs will be turned "IN" secure, prompting you to Drink more heavily and even intaking of Green leafy substances and thus, you won't recognize your environment anymore no matter where you are!!

whether you're helping Guide tourists through theWoods, Flying them personally over GlacierFields, Leading a jogging group along theRunning trails or assaulting theLocal townsFolk after drinking some more (with said touristGroup in tow)

theAlaskanPrincess!!
Making every effort to get your bi-Weekly pay check to you even if she has to "tick" mark you with a Large "sharpie" and draw an dollar$ign upon you herself!!

theAthabaskanPrincess!!
so proud of her "STAR" employees,

that she personally dumps in buckets of brownSugar, white sugar, a smidge of VanillaExtract, drops 8 sticks of REAL butter and even more chocolate morsels INTO theChocolateFootlockers of her DiabeticEmployees,

and she even cracks theEggs herself, stirs theFlour and preheats theLivingQuarters sharedKitchen EZ bake MethOven,

As for her AA & NarcRecovery "STAR" emps,
she just slips Sam!! a twentyBill every weekend and he forgets to "check" theBar doors and conveniently forgets to "touchUp theLodgeLobby, GreatRoom, Lounge area and theBackOffices"

tAAP!!
*Note to Self!!*

Must not use FlorescentBlack "Mood"lighting in theHoneyMoonSuite Rooms as theNewBrides always get hysterical when seeing all theDNA stains!!

tAP!!
*Note to Self!!*

Must personally ProofRead theFoldOut Ads in theEmployee handBook / Manual before theKidz see it,

After seeing theNew Poster logo
"theAthabaskcanAlaskanPrincess!!-a "Brand" new look for our "Bold""
greeted my Lasik'd eyes,

Some joker thinks it's funny to scare theNewKidzOftheLodge!! away by playing on theBearSightings and Mauling attacks upon an Emp!! years ago

and this Mauling event was commemorated by one of my LodgeSisters via a full BackSide shortBodySuit "Branding", Ironing and an SteelCuttingWheel cellulite Buff TouchUp upon her shapely "Bold" body,

*sigh*

I swear, I shoulda been born here in Alaska as a regular Villager!!

theAlaskanAthabaskanPrincessLodge!!
OUT!!sourced, OUT!!shined, OUT!!drinking!!

and apparently some of us get Lost in theWoods for weeks at a time too.

tAAPLodge!!
Food, Facilities, MEDICAL!!

Now certain Emps!! can cavort around behind theScenes and giggle in groups and pool around theLodge during OffDuty time and "hush-Hush" when certain workerGirls!! walk by,

here's why!!

We've extended our Medical Facilities outReach program aptly titled "Abort!!"
Which basically covers up and takes care of any "Issues" resulting from intimate dealings between Lodge employees and UpperManagement!!

Instead of sending "Mother" off to theCity!! for a week or 2 at a time every Summer Tourist season, we get to keep tabs on them from across theLodgeCompound!!

That way, they can hear first hand all theGossip and smallTalk going on,
and then theGirls!! (or girl!!) can get back to snuggling with, and basically just hugging and being teased by Sam!! once again for remainder of SummerTourist season!!

O myGosh.. Did I break HIPPA policy and name names!!
damnit....

oh well.
I make my own pen ink and even grow my own Lemons for when I have to sign Official documents!! It's no biggy.

it's not like he was later on Falsely Accused of SexHarassment later on in theCity while working for his Gramma, or Nana or some other entity,

sheeesh, he's too Nice and trusting anyways and just gets taken advantage of so many times, btw, Must get him to Mow theLawns on weekends and Paint theExterior of theLodge too.

tAAPLodge!!
Our New Toga!!

apparently lil Sis from theWestern Alaska SeaSideLodge didn't like theNew shipment of 400threadCount Sheets, PillowCases and BedFittings her Lodge's Purchasing / Shipping / Receiving!! dept ordered for Guest use,

So I had her send everything to theWareHouse in Anchorage and me and my OlderLodge sister from theBrooksRangeAlaskanLodge!! hitch-Hiked down to have a look.

We fell in love with theBedding and FedExed!! them to our "other" lodges.

OMG!!, our cute lil' Sis out West is very picky!! and hard to please.
But we're glad that she rejected these new EggWhite colored sheets.

Us LodgeDwellers that live amongst theWildernessTrees!! now Issue out a dozen of these largeSheets to "any" of our Emps if they go Hiking!! (and Hickey-ing!! out in theWoods!!)

theAthabaskanPrincess!!
We'd like to be on "Your" team.

It's just that half theTime, our current Emps run Away to other Alaskan employers,
so..

We might as well make it official!!

tAAP!! now Leases YOU it's employees!!

Remember us, theAlaskanOnTheBack!!Princess!!,
Out!! of work, Out!! of options, Out!! of money,
but never OUT of booze!!

Did You Know!?
That each Summer Tourist work Season theAthabaskanAlaskanPrincess!! give out anywhere from $5,000 to $7,000 in educationalAssistance!?

tAAP recognizes theSkills and Knowledge of it's EmployeeSlaves!! and after enabling them to Booze it up after Workhours and on Weekends,

hopefully THEY won't recognize thePredicament they're IN and leave us, at least NOT till summer season ends,

but even then,
They still gotta pay for a plane ticket HOME from Anchorage.

Did You Know!?
that every Female that works for theAthabascanPrincess!! is Required to have no less than 3 Pages at HoobTube, YourFace, Tweeker!! and at least 1 LiveCam site before we consider them for Employ?!

we want to bring you theVeryChest....
uh.. Very BEST!! in customer service and in fact,

if any prospective femaleEmp!! doesn't answer "Glittery Purples and OozingReds!!"
to theQuestion of "What flourishes and fetishes address an MakeUp "madeUp" face of an AlaskanPrincess!! employee?!", then we don't want 'em!!

Well,
this brings another Installment from me, theAlaskanTrashcanPrincess!!

Send us your Old, Tired Worn out Elderly yearning to breathe free!!
and I'll pack them like Salmon just off theBoats in Dillingham and FalsePass,
and cart them around theState for a week at a time at a cost of $5K minimum per person,

uhm... and you can keep your Poor people!!
Or else, send 'em to that Bitch, theSleepingLady!!

oh.. wait.. "she's" our friend and MsDenali!! is our enemy,
cos she just took another Climber this Season...

no, no wait....
Now I'm confused,

Gues I'll just have to go back into theSam!!'s Blog archives to Summer 2005 era and READ UP on events.

luvs,
MsMontMickInley,
athaBaskanAlaskanPrincessWildernessLodge&Resort, and Go-goBar&Grill!!
----

I'm theSam!!, and I have no choice but to post this message!!

Else I get beat Up again by 44"DD" funBags again, and then I get to babySit theKidz all weekend.

d:o( -Incredibly Sad!!-
------------------

AlaskaVillageTales, July 2008!!

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