300!!

theSam!!'s Cholestrol Count approaches 300!!
------------

theSam!!
Still 4 after all these years!!


theSam!!
still 40 after ALL this last year!!

theSam!!
whom will be turning 14 next month!!

Just think,
back in 1997 I was 3!!

theSam!!
wishing his waistLine was 41.... -sad- d:o(

theSam!!
normally valued at $42K out in theVillage!!
now marked down to just $400 a month in theCity!!

Read his next BlogInstallment and theSam!! will take off an additional
$14.35/hr for every hour of Unpaid OverTime!!

You just have to feed him though.

theSam!!
not only MrWonderful,

but MrEmployeeFileFull!! (of complaints, writeUps, and interOfficeMemos)

theSam!!
ProcessorMalfunction apparently not only applys to his HomeComputer.

theSam!!
hours of entertainment packed into just minutes of InterAction with him!!

maybe even seconds too in Passing,
Even if you perfunctoryGlance in his direction in Public!!

theSam!!
not only a paid advertisement for GlibCommentary!!
he’s a VolunteerSpokesman that Blogs!!

theSam!!
now here’s the5 day extended Forecast!!
BlizzardConditions / WhiteOut atop thePate’ - Dandruff and dry scalp acting up again!!

Extended showers and intermittent rain in front!! - residual water spray from theDishWasher hose at work!!

High GustyWinds and occasional smog!! - Vocals practice and not having brushed teeth (all day!!)

Strong sheeting rain intermittent - Visiting theLil’ Boyz room every 4hrs!!

Pelting Hail and stormy rain almost daily!! - ServerGirl!! coWorkerz splashing ice & drinks in his face,
hurling FreezyDrinks at him and occasionally bursting out in tears while chewing outSam!!

theSam!!
just like thePresidentialCandidates.

Shifting positions more towards theCenter!!
gathering into theMiddle and tipping theBalance!!,
albeit, an extra 10lbs perManBoob!!

theSam!!
hangin’ with THIS dude becomes more of a ManBoob thing instead of
just hangin’ with this dude.

oh... and don’t forget theTurkeyNeck and Jowls!!

theSam!!
his CellPhone coverage now has moreMobility!! than him,
and it sits in it’s SwivelCarry from a Lanyard about his Neck!!

*slowly stands up and winces after sitting down just 5 mins*
Feet and legs gain blood circulation and feeling!!

theSam!!
lookingYounger, FeelingYounger!!

or else just looking “AT” something Cute, female and feeling her too!!

theSam!!
whos “PowerChair / ScooterChair” is a TransitBus and costs only $50 a month!!

theSam!!
whos Dazed & Confused moments now seem to be a DailyBasis!!

theSam!!
Liquidation no longer means cheap stuff on sale at stores about to Close!!
But a preference to soft foods, purreed drinks and Slushy Smoothies!!

theSam!!
there are many Thankless Slobs out there,
he’s one of them!!

theSam!!
who’s own AlaskaGasPipeline!!’s been shipping a lot more than ever!!
Especially after visits to TacoBell!!, visits to theIceCream shop and after eating a morsel of Cheese!!

theSam!!
thoroughly objecting and repudiating his OWN Blog rhetoric!!,

one post at a time

theSam!!
2 Thumbs up years ago meant.

Ayyyeeee!!, It’s all good.

now, theThumbs are still held up,
Albeit, when fists are held close to theBody and jiggling theGut!! while checkingOut self in theMirror at work before Shift starts

theSam!!
who’s fingers have not been held responsible for this *Blog!!* crime,

Just his quirky personality!!
DNA investigators “touchProfiling” his keyboard right now!!

theSam!!
staying tuned to theFM Station of Life,
while theBatteries are Dead, the powerCord is frayed and sparking and theAntannae is bent and doubles as RabbitEars for theD-TV!!

and speaking of audio, Oral ministrations,
His BJs are now relegated to DJ’s!! d:oP

theSam!!
who’s PostureCheck!!

is STILL a quick glance and acute memorization of basically ANY hot, Tall chick in View!!

theSam!!
who’s DemandIt!! account Online sees his Fans requesting he stay Home!!

theSam!!
no longer an V-P-S-O

But relegated to .... “So...!?”
cos theVillage and thePublic just don’t care anymore!!

theSam!!
no one writes to him,

and so theTerm: his MailBag will now just apply to his Male Bag!!

We’ll leave the rest to your imaginations!! d:oP

theSam!!
whom used to Sew so much, his industrial KenMore was an KenAlot!!

but then he slowed down and soon his KenMore was a KenLess.

Now theSam! doesn’t sew at all so his Serger is just a Ken!!

theSam!!
No longer having to Call around theWorld to talk Internationally,
Just go to work and argue with Minya, Raia, Cilon and Tica from SouthAmerica

Fight with Jayle, Pushh, Kahni from EastIndia
Ordering after hour drinks from Ell’a, Anna, Ahrica, Su’l and Arne from Europe

and technically, when SatPhone calling home (from theVillage!!) having to patch through Asia,

off a Satellite and through a Comms relay in theSeychelles, bouncing through 2 satellites over Africa and NorthAmerica and finally arguing with Mom (who’s Local!!) after an AutomatedServer backscatters theDelay down to 1/2second!!

theSam!!
who’s SalonStylist / Hair waxing buddy, “Bertha!!” is threatening his own “BermudaTriangle!!” (again)

theSam!!
suffering from CellPhoneEnvy!!

lately his black “berry’ is an Uppity SouChef after last months Bar&Grill promotions!!

his Silver “Rocker!!” is an heckling, senile elderlyLady at theOldFolks home where he playsPiano!!

his iPhone has an “M” in front of it, When finding a Cell in theStreet and calling Last Dialed,
theVoice on theEnd of theLine exclaimed “that’s MY phone!!”

his Moto “razor” promises “me love you longTime, HappyFinish!!” while she shaves her 1/2japanese born Legs,
but then her battery runs low and she shuts off and just recharges Reading a Book instead!!

his KX-5 SliderRemix tugs and jerks when Opening and Closing instead of “Sliding” smoothly

and sadly, His NoKeyAh is NOT a happy Finnish!! she suffers sleep disorders, depression and is very pale!!

theSam!!
Change you can’t believe in!!

even if it’s jingling in his Pocket.

theSam!!
is this thingOn!?

-Test test TEST!!-

Now Blogging whether theMic is ON or OFF!!

theSam!!
theFun!! started here,
now he don’t know where it went.

Good thing theTension!! is still here,
and barely Sensation!!

and Frustration!! never left d:oP

theSam!!
Boosting UP!! his own depressing moods,
One pants tug at a time, and one ManBoob!! shake & shimmy!!

theSam!!
‘Snap’ping out of his own blah mood,
One ServerGirl!! bra strap at a time!!

theSam!!
Loving his ServerGirl!! friends 6 months or more in a row,
while at least 6 of them stand in a Row at work!! (each day)

theSam!!
only 2 more Silly posts till 300 entries are reached!!

luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska

-alaskaVillagetales-

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