Burning Sam!!

aka, more Ripped from theHeadlines!! stuff,

(from a BurningMan!! read I found on theNet!!)

Ten Principles of Burning Man as listed on their website.

Radical Inclusion
Anyone may be a part of Burning Man.
We welcome and respect the stranger.
No prerequisites exist for participation in our community.


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But of course, You too Must have Drink in hand, preferably something Vodka or Bourbon, that "burns" and tingles in order to be part of BurningSam!!

And in order to take part in this Radical Inclusion,
we may be total strangers at 7pm. or heck!!, even at 10pm, or even 30mins before closing time.

But immediately after downing several "burn"ing shots and drinks with respective friends,

We experience this RadicalInclusion and are suddenly theBestest!! of friends.... Evah!!

My nice haircut and clean pants & friendly demeanor may be Key to your world, but you being female and having a Pulse!! is preRequisite for your entry into mine!!

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Gifting
Burning Man is devoted to acts of gift giving.
The value of a gift is unconditional.
Gifting does not contemplate a return or an exchange for something of equal value.


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However, theSam!! is not so devoted to giftGiving and he does require a slice of Pizza or a Shot in return now and then sweetheart.

I mean, didn't you get that Lock of Hair and vial of Urine via FedEx I been sending?!, huh!?, didja!?

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Decommodification
In order to preserve the spirit of gifting, our community seeks to create social environments that are unmediated by commercial sponsorships, transactions, or advertising.

We stand ready to protect our culture from such exploitation.
We resist the substitution of consumption for participatory experience.


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In order to preserve "YOUR" spirit of gifting, Sam!!'s Native-ness aka Community, seeks to keep "YOUR" guilty giving of commercial sponsorships, Monetary transactions and or freeAdvertising!! regarding his Native-ness and exclusive inhabiting and dependence upon "YOUR" participatory experiences!!

theSam!! stands, although he prefers to be sitting up close and personal at yourBar, while you're on shift!!, to protect you from other Native-ness exploitation-especially your hard earned tipDollars!!

theSam!! vehemently resists theConsumption of beer however!!, for your participatory experience in his life, pour another OrchardStables 2004 sweetheart!!

No MORE cheese wrapped in plastic and no more grapeJuice from a commod can for me my love!!

My cheese MUST have "been wrapped in Wax and my grapes picked, stewed, stirred, pressed Purreed, vatted, bottled and in theDark 5yrs please!!"

Or at least that's what that one WineVendor screamed out to me, she was hard to understand, face in thePillows and me close behind her.

Hmmpphh!!

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Radical Self-reliance
Burning Man encourages the individual to discover, exercise and rely on his or her inner resources.


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theSam!! is totally totally, like, T-O-A-D-I-L-Y-!-! so AGAINST exercise.

But welcomes YOU sweetheart, to discover a newOutfit in your wardRobe and doPowerYoga practically nude w/yourBestFriends!! in your living room.

This leaves theSam!! free to rely upon YOUR social and economical Resources to acquire and keep a steady supply of "Sweeties" instead of relying upon his ClumsyHumor and bigNose to win over Individual Resources.

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Radical Self-expression
Radical self-expression arises from the unique gifts of the individual.
No one other than the individual or a collaborating group can determine its content.
It is offered as a gift to others.
In this spirit, the giver should respect the rights and liberties of the recipient.


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Gifts from YOU to me!! like Cash, a new car, some newAudio and Visual toys to enhance theGuitar!! and to record stuff to YuTub!!

And no one but theSam!! can determine what's best for him to receive than Sam!!

Uhm, yeah, you offer stuff to me!! and you shouldn't care if I'm still Online at 0400hrs, after all. It is MY laptop you bought.

And I'm free to stay up in YOUR apt till Noon after a night of Blogging!!

Leave me alone!!

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Communal Effort
Our community values creative cooperation and collaboration.
We strive to produce, promote and protect social networks, public spaces, works of art, and methods of communication that support such interaction.


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EarningSam!! is on theHorizon, but not yet Fruition yet sweetheart.

Until that day, that SillySilly pipeDream comes, you're Creative cooking and TipMaking at work will just have to do, So keep collaberating with theHelp!! to clear $5K in tips tonight!!

After all, you are striving to produce, well. You're what now. 6 Weeks along!?

Eehn. Anyway,

Keep letting me promote my site on MySpace, YuTub!! and I need more glossy Photo paper to print out Flyers for this weekends show at theDownTown bars!! Chop chop!!

---------------------------------

Civic Responsibility
We value civil society.
Community members who organize events should assume responsibility for public welfare and endeavor to communicate civic responsibilities to participants.
They must also assume responsibility for conducting events in accordance with local, state and federal laws.


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Civic may be on YOUR tongue and your pocketBook honey, But a 2008 SuperHEMI QuadCab Duallie is on mine-And on my MS giftList!! Can't you read!?

I'm not a RezIndian no more, I'm through w/ Honda civics w/No doors, windows, Lights or no brakeLines!!

And next time YOU expect to host a BirthdayDinner for me, YOU look out for PublicWelfare by screaming "Duck!!" a little louder,

I am a Native, and when I get smashed, Expect me to revert back to Days of Yore and break out theCompound and SilverShafts you bought for me.

If your friends and family are too out of shape and flabby to get out of theWay, it's your problem NOT mine.

oh...
and lets keep quiet to theAuthorities about my propensities in "feeding" theUnder21 crowd with Liquor ok!? YOU bought theStuff,

I just swiped theCards, carried theStuff from thePackageStore, put it in your car, delivered it to "OUR" house and,

like, so what?! I can't keep your relatives away, especially theReally really Cute female ones!!

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Leaving No Trace
Our community respects the environment.
We are committed to leaving no physical trace of our activities wherever we gather.
We clean up after ourselves and endeavor, whenever possible, to leave such places in a better state than when we found them.


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yeah. Whatever!!

I did cut my hair for you my Love, But don't expect for me to stop "Massaging" theGirls!! ok!?

Not that you'd see my fingerprints on them or something, Where ever my digits may gather!!

oh... And clean up theLiving room!! It's a mess, Massage oils all over, used Linens, and those 4 colors and 2 perms I gave to theGirls!! really messed up theBathroom,

specially when I had to Rinse theGirls off!!
You don't know thePractice I do just to keep YOU looking and Feeling great!!

I wish you understood me, my Plight, my PLIGHT my love!!

BTW, schedule me a Dr's visit, 2 days after your CollegeRoomie stayed over, BurningSam!! started when I peed.

ouch.

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Participation

"Ouch, my brain hurts reading this stuff my Love. I'll just answer after each sentence ok!?"

Our community is committed to a radically participatory ethic.

"Yet, like most men, theSam!! would just rather stay a SpermDonor for now, and to stay your Therapist and Stylist, and ResidentFoodie & Drinkie!! ok!?, K?!, That's radical enough for me"

We believe that transformative change, whether in the individual or in society, can occur only through the medium of deeply personal participation.
"erhmmm Speaking of deep, I don't see you chatting on your Q phone to theDr yet, hello!? Must I text you!?..... Again!?"

We achieve being through doing.
"theSam!! also achieves through telling YOU, theSympathizingWhite girl to do things.... for him!!"

Everyone is invited to work.
"I already emailed your parents and your stupid brother, and your BIL & his cute wife are already on their way here, on His 30 day leave, instead of their 2nd HoneyMoon!!

After everyone gets here in 2 days they'll have theLawn mowed, raked and my FirePit dug out in 9hrs.

Your Cats, my Goldfish and I will be inspecting things as soon as we've had our afternoon Tuna / MorselShakerz / vodkaMartini's.

Everyone is invited to play.
"In theTreeHouse I built, alas, there is NO tree yet,
But that stockClerk at TreeWorld said theSapling will be 20' tall in 40yrs!!
But your upperArms are already bigger than IT will be by then."

We make the world real through actions that open the heart.

"Yummmmm,

which reminds me, I have to perfect Opening SacredCave!! just for you dear!!, now, which one of theCute workBuds of yours needs a Massage?!"

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Immediacy
Immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture.

"Now now now damnit!!"

We seek to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves, the reality of those around us, participation in society, and contact with a natural world exceeding human powers.
"sadly enough, when you put your foot down, my barriers become ironBars for theNight!!",

"Darn, and just when I'm beginning to recognize my true self in the broken mirrors and the reflections of alcohol and liquids on the floor!!"

"And speaking of which, I don't want to ever Pick UP trash again along the freeway again with "society", those freaks don't shower daily.

Why'd you think I drink anyway honey!? I'm getting in touch w/ my natural world!! I love you!!

No idea can substitute for this experience.

"unless, unless I get your goofy nephew sloshed and then blame him!!
yeah.. that's it."
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And that's that!!

I'm BurningSam!!,
theStoli & Bourbon afterTaste, sheeesh!!
Not theOtherBurn!!

slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska

alaskavillagetales

theSam!!
former Village Public Safety
2/2001-10/2003, Badge #51, theVillage AK

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sam! We should totally do Burning Man next year! I don't think I could bear the heat, tho. Why can't they Burn the Man in a more temperate climate?? Like Alaska!

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