Here's Sam!!'s Sign....
:ummm:
myBaristaPartner!!, a coWorker :bounce3:, was restocking stuff today at work and I was on Register,
We've been shown how to cut OFF the 4 flaps of theBoxes and just leave product IN them, and store them on shelf, rather than take everything out and toss theBox!!
so today, myBaristaPartner!! was cutting off theBox flaps,
well.
As usual, :wth: she left cardboard edgings and shavings lying around and she ALSO left a few box flaps lying around too and didn't bother to throw them away,
So during my ALONE time, when my Partner had Long since clocked OFF her shift and gone home,
I was taking care of customers now and then and also remaking theStock drinks,
and... omg. :egads:
I just remembered,
Shit. I forgot to empty theChocolate chips and theGreen Matcha powders!!..
oh well. :ummm:
anyway, I was cleaning and reMaking stocks and refilling and making samples and calling out (VoyCalls) over PA system advertising etc, and I looked at the CardBoard flaps and thought..... :thinking:
"Signs!!"
What could Sam!? draw up as a sign to humor himself!?
So here's a few I blackMarkered IN and left in Kiosk!!
SIGNS!!
Dear Fivebucks Mgrs
Opening Shift please!!], cos I'm wide awake anyways and still alert from partying all night theNight before!! Might as well have me open thePlace up!!
DayShift please!!, cos I'm still undecided if I wanna be a Vampire (white Pasty and redEyed like openingShift) or be picked on!!
(cos you always write Terse notes to Sam!! about what he forgot to do theNight before)
Plus, I'm in my mid 40's, so, taking care of theNoon time Rush (theMid Day crisis) is my comfort zone for now
Closing Shift please!!, cos I'm ONStage at theStripClub @ 9pm and a few hours later go partying till dawn with my friends, btw, can you tell Opening shift to stop trashing my place and quit drinking up all "my" coffee!?
SIGNS!!
UnEmployedBarista!
Will:
-Connect for Food!!
-Smile for Food!!
-Sample out for Food!! :cries:
-VoyCall for Food!!
-even Wash my GreenApron for Food!! :silly:
SIGNS!!
5 bucks is Sam!!'s bitch!! :argh:
or Vice versa!! :thumsup:
SIGNS!!
If you can read this sign,
It means I haven't been Selling extras on Customer drinks, and therefore, using more BlackMagicMarker ink
upon theCups we use,
However, even after exhausting theInk after a day or two,
I find that I can still get a nice buzz off theFumes enough to remember theGoodTimes when I was employed SOMEWHERE ELSE!! damnit. :wtf2:
SIGNS!!
:thatguy:
and of course,
SIGNS!!
5Bucks InHouse training!!
2 weeks of Charm school,
1 week of just listening IN on customer service complaints and Squeezing of theBlue StressBall!!
1 week of beating head against side of theBldg, which is why theBallCaps of ours are black,
to hide theBloodStains!! and absorb as well,
SIGNS!!
Will frenchPress and sell you a BladeGrinder for that extra point on the SecretShopper day,
you know,
that one weekly shopping day when all shiftMgrs huddle round and practically give you
theBackGround check, thePoliceReport, theCIA files, theCreditHistory, theSatePhotos and Surveillance pics,
and the Eating habits for the last 5 yrs of that secretShopper BEFORE he / she visits the store!!
sheeesh!!
SIGNS!!
5Bucks!!
where they teach you to pull a semiTruck with your teeth!!
where they send you to theProduce stand and teach you to get blood from a Turnip!!
cos if you can do that,
It's so much easier getting that "Last" dollar from theCustomers after they buy a $5.05 ventiMocha w/Whip and 4 extra shots & NonFat milk
and then hem and haw over theOther $156 in BeanCoffee, Holiday tumbler, Pastry confection and giftCard recharge purchases!!
SIGNS!!
Bean!! me up Scottie,
there's NO intelligent life down here, :wee:
that 18yr old dropped out of high school and that 41yr old exHairDresser,
disgraced and Fired!! villageCop-guy can't work anywhere else!!
:LOL:
SIGNS!!
Bean me up NOW scottie!!
that idiotBarista-guy, when asked by his AKsa club!! personalTrainer to do a FrenchPress,
Instead of lifting theWeights up and slowly lowering them, maximizing carb burn and lowering to softEnd feel,
Course ground a bunch of coffee beans, threw 'em in a small glass jar,
Pumped up and down slowly 8 times on thePlunger and poured me a cup of Joe and then
tried to sell everyone on overPriced punkin' scones!!
SIGNS!!
my "Other" Ride!!,
is an EspressoMaster, 2000, Twin Helix Vapor coiled, dual Tamping, autoCleaning, $30K espresso machine!!
SIGNS!!
Customer Service!! is my name,
and quietly grinding my teeth, tightening my fists and getting pepticUlcers IS my game!! :tongue:
SIGNS!!
theOld time hit song,
"Please Release me, Let me Go"
was probably originally penned by an overworked underpaid corporateBarista!!
SIGNS!!
I was dressed TOO nice at theJobCenter,
so they sent me here!!
gaawwd I'd wished they'd sent me to theSoupKitchens and theShelter,
maybe even skidRow!!
and look at this!!, a frickin' Pay check every week!!!
I'm a Native, why can't I be a REAL One!!:argh:
SIGNS!!
when I die, don't send me to heaven
Send me to hell so I can beat theCrap out of whomever invented coffee!! :wtf2:
wait, wait.
Send me to heaven so I can beat him to death with his stupid Harp!!
SIGNS!!
I wonder what my friends, at theKaladees brothers, are doing now!! :thinking:
SIGNS!!
I've seen a million faces and remade drinks at least 7 times!! for them all!!
:blech:
SIGNS!!
If I get one more safeway store shopper asking me where theOakenKeg!! is,
I'm gonna do what Store Policy mandates us employees to do,
"Let me SHOW YOU!!" :thumsup:
I'm gonna Lead them to theLiquorStore and buy my own Vodka and Wine bottles, chug them all at once and then wonder off into oblivion through theMall!!
Maybe I'll get to actually pee my pants and get a free Ride to detox!!
cos I stand behind theCashRegister all shift anyhow swimming up to my eyeballs in......
:LOL:
lovs,
theSam!!
myBaristaPartner!!, a coWorker :bounce3:, was restocking stuff today at work and I was on Register,
We've been shown how to cut OFF the 4 flaps of theBoxes and just leave product IN them, and store them on shelf, rather than take everything out and toss theBox!!
so today, myBaristaPartner!! was cutting off theBox flaps,
well.
As usual, :wth: she left cardboard edgings and shavings lying around and she ALSO left a few box flaps lying around too and didn't bother to throw them away,
So during my ALONE time, when my Partner had Long since clocked OFF her shift and gone home,
I was taking care of customers now and then and also remaking theStock drinks,
and... omg. :egads:
I just remembered,
Shit. I forgot to empty theChocolate chips and theGreen Matcha powders!!..
oh well. :ummm:
anyway, I was cleaning and reMaking stocks and refilling and making samples and calling out (VoyCalls) over PA system advertising etc, and I looked at the CardBoard flaps and thought..... :thinking:
"Signs!!"
What could Sam!? draw up as a sign to humor himself!?
So here's a few I blackMarkered IN and left in Kiosk!!
SIGNS!!
Dear Fivebucks Mgrs
Opening Shift please!!], cos I'm wide awake anyways and still alert from partying all night theNight before!! Might as well have me open thePlace up!!
DayShift please!!, cos I'm still undecided if I wanna be a Vampire (white Pasty and redEyed like openingShift) or be picked on!!
(cos you always write Terse notes to Sam!! about what he forgot to do theNight before)
Plus, I'm in my mid 40's, so, taking care of theNoon time Rush (theMid Day crisis) is my comfort zone for now
Closing Shift please!!, cos I'm ONStage at theStripClub @ 9pm and a few hours later go partying till dawn with my friends, btw, can you tell Opening shift to stop trashing my place and quit drinking up all "my" coffee!?
SIGNS!!
UnEmployedBarista!
Will:
-Connect for Food!!
-Smile for Food!!
-Sample out for Food!! :cries:
-VoyCall for Food!!
-even Wash my GreenApron for Food!! :silly:
SIGNS!!
5 bucks is Sam!!'s bitch!! :argh:
or Vice versa!! :thumsup:
SIGNS!!
If you can read this sign,
It means I haven't been Selling extras on Customer drinks, and therefore, using more BlackMagicMarker ink
upon theCups we use,
However, even after exhausting theInk after a day or two,
I find that I can still get a nice buzz off theFumes enough to remember theGoodTimes when I was employed SOMEWHERE ELSE!! damnit. :wtf2:
SIGNS!!
:thatguy:
and of course,
SIGNS!!
5Bucks InHouse training!!
2 weeks of Charm school,
1 week of just listening IN on customer service complaints and Squeezing of theBlue StressBall!!
1 week of beating head against side of theBldg, which is why theBallCaps of ours are black,
to hide theBloodStains!! and absorb as well,
SIGNS!!
Will frenchPress and sell you a BladeGrinder for that extra point on the SecretShopper day,
you know,
that one weekly shopping day when all shiftMgrs huddle round and practically give you
theBackGround check, thePoliceReport, theCIA files, theCreditHistory, theSatePhotos and Surveillance pics,
and the Eating habits for the last 5 yrs of that secretShopper BEFORE he / she visits the store!!
sheeesh!!
SIGNS!!
5Bucks!!
where they teach you to pull a semiTruck with your teeth!!
where they send you to theProduce stand and teach you to get blood from a Turnip!!
cos if you can do that,
It's so much easier getting that "Last" dollar from theCustomers after they buy a $5.05 ventiMocha w/Whip and 4 extra shots & NonFat milk
and then hem and haw over theOther $156 in BeanCoffee, Holiday tumbler, Pastry confection and giftCard recharge purchases!!
SIGNS!!
Bean!! me up Scottie,
there's NO intelligent life down here, :wee:
that 18yr old dropped out of high school and that 41yr old exHairDresser,
disgraced and Fired!! villageCop-guy can't work anywhere else!!
:LOL:
SIGNS!!
Bean me up NOW scottie!!
that idiotBarista-guy, when asked by his AKsa club!! personalTrainer to do a FrenchPress,
Instead of lifting theWeights up and slowly lowering them, maximizing carb burn and lowering to softEnd feel,
Course ground a bunch of coffee beans, threw 'em in a small glass jar,
Pumped up and down slowly 8 times on thePlunger and poured me a cup of Joe and then
tried to sell everyone on overPriced punkin' scones!!
SIGNS!!
my "Other" Ride!!,
is an EspressoMaster, 2000, Twin Helix Vapor coiled, dual Tamping, autoCleaning, $30K espresso machine!!
SIGNS!!
Customer Service!! is my name,
and quietly grinding my teeth, tightening my fists and getting pepticUlcers IS my game!! :tongue:
SIGNS!!
theOld time hit song,
"Please Release me, Let me Go"
was probably originally penned by an overworked underpaid corporateBarista!!
SIGNS!!
I was dressed TOO nice at theJobCenter,
so they sent me here!!
gaawwd I'd wished they'd sent me to theSoupKitchens and theShelter,
maybe even skidRow!!
and look at this!!, a frickin' Pay check every week!!!
I'm a Native, why can't I be a REAL One!!:argh:
SIGNS!!
when I die, don't send me to heaven
Send me to hell so I can beat theCrap out of whomever invented coffee!! :wtf2:
wait, wait.
Send me to heaven so I can beat him to death with his stupid Harp!!
SIGNS!!
I wonder what my friends, at theKaladees brothers, are doing now!! :thinking:
SIGNS!!
I've seen a million faces and remade drinks at least 7 times!! for them all!!
:blech:
SIGNS!!
If I get one more safeway store shopper asking me where theOakenKeg!! is,
I'm gonna do what Store Policy mandates us employees to do,
"Let me SHOW YOU!!" :thumsup:
I'm gonna Lead them to theLiquorStore and buy my own Vodka and Wine bottles, chug them all at once and then wonder off into oblivion through theMall!!
Maybe I'll get to actually pee my pants and get a free Ride to detox!!
cos I stand behind theCashRegister all shift anyhow swimming up to my eyeballs in......
:LOL:
lovs,
theSam!!
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