theSteakHouse Rules!!
I posted this somewhere and I can't find it.
I've looked for it on my blog archives but can't find it, I know I buried it amongst other writings as an add on,
I probably buried it in an AlaskanPrincess!!Lodge post or something,
I'll be darned if I do that again, (work for thePrincess!! ever again) But anyway.
Here's a Repost!!
theSteakHouse!!
home of too many Chefs and not enough DishWashers!!
theDMO!! (theDummo!! / dishMachineOperator)
King of all he rinses, sends through theMachine and stacks!!
.....and sometimes he acts like he's Queen of theKitchen too.
Order UP!!
RedNosePatron
Hey BarTender!! Wharz my Dreenkk!?
theSteakHouse!!
-Quality (lol)
-Speed?! (but seriously, you can buy some out back) I'm joking here people!!
-Service!!
.....come on, Choose One!!
Mr Pillsbury!!
I’m theChif!! and that’s that!!
now somebody poke my tummy....
theHeadChef!!
and like all big headed egotists, he's all PaperCap and whiteCoat!!
theMan,
at least that's what we think he is, after a few years behind theGrill, the heat tends to warp you like what heat does to a candle, you soften out a bit but then again,
Undertakers & Doctors bury their mistakes,
Firemen put out theFlames and Sift through theAshes of other people's mistakes,
and most Chef's!! eat theirs.
theMyth,
his reputation lasts as long as theSpinach & Broccoli is in your system and if you think Nascar and KentuckyDerby "down to theWire" photoFinishes are minute,
it's hard to tell if his Pantry and theBowl of whipped spuds under his Blender has more starch than his pristine whiteJacket!!
Go on, touch theJacket if you dare.
theLegend!!
DistinctiveQuality, IncomparableTaste....
Not to mention theUnderdone steaks, theOverSpiced Salads,
and theGrilledSalmon still in it’s death throes!!
And dessert!! ,theOnly thing CheeseCake about that was the 2” fishNetting Full-Body stocking on Ingra (and her's are tattood on!!)
Stand Back!!
theBlonde!! is about to pour water.
theHotServerGirls!!
if you want Breakfast in Bed, go sleep in theKitchen.....
or just do what theSam!! does,
“doggyBag” some food and take it home,
btw, whatever happened to Hailey!?
Born to Cook!!
cos my Mommy was a Hot ServerGirl and daddy was theDMO!!
theSteakHouse!!
Angels are disguised as ServerGirls, BarMaids and 2 BusGirls!!
theLineManager!!
while I have thisApron!! on I am theBoss, do you understand!?
....and take off my highHeels Sam!!, if you break them my Wife will kill us both.
theChef!!
what part of “it’s NOT READY yet”, do you not understand?!
god, go look for some OTHER dirty dishes to wash, geezzz.
You just brought out that clean stack and already you're asking me that silly question.
it’s not easy
being theHouseMom!! and I’m theBarMaid!!
....guess it's cos I "am" expecting though so everyone just assumes this...
theBarristaGal!!
cows shoot milk out their Noses at theSound of my name!!
theTres Chef!!
I love cooking with Wine, sometimes I even put some in theFood!! *hiccup*
Wine gets better with Age,
and here at theSteakHouse, you may start out as an HotHostess or an Babe-alicious BarMaid, but as YOU age,
you become Server and then you eventually help out theDMO’s,
See that one Haggard woman walking her shopping cart talking to herself across the street?!
Last month she was an Hot 18yr old and rumor has it, she was turned over one too many times!!
theSteakHouse!!
home of theSweetest girls in theCity!!
They can go from Hostess to Bitch in 1.5 seconds.
and our night DMO can go from Silly to Annoying in 2.5 seconds.
King of theGrill!!
theFastest, best cooking Chef!!
King of theShrill!!
theBitchiest, dykey-est, whiningest hostess!!
theDMO!!
Who Are These Kidz!?
and why are they calling me Dad!?
theSteakHouse!!
kiss theChefs!!,
hug theBarmaids!!
show theBarTenderz YOUR tips!!
just wipe OFF theCutlery!!
and yes sir, for you hard to please Guests,
we actually have a MiniGrill, a MicroBar and SaladMaker Station just for you!!
theSteakHouse!!
real men don't eat quiche,
but our DMO insists on having it for his nightly meal!!
that and a liter of pop.
theHostess!!
yes Ma'am, our Sioux-fle's are Authentic,
he's gonna clock in any minute now,
keep your eyes open!!
Patron: Waiter, there's a fly in my Soup!!
Employee:That's because we had theRoaches fumigated last month.
Patron: Waiter, this Creme Brule' is fantastic, how was it created!?
Employee: Well, theGirls donated their nightCream moisterizers,
theBOH (back of house) chefs got a couple Keys of pureMexican and blended in with the Brown sugar to give it "OOmmpphh",
theDMO's were slow on getting clean whisks out to beat theEggs, so
the2nd Barmaid looked in her purse and found an Wooden spatula (she's a Dom!!) to beat with,
and that Mace flavor??, is actual OC spray, as one DMO used to be a VillageCop,
and.. well..
theNightAudit and dayMgr are still fighting in back over theDay's books account so,
since our BOH ovens are down for theNight, we just stuck theChina ware filled with custard sauce inside theOffice where they're fighting and after 25mins,
theCustard was completely set!!, oh...
and theVanilla??, 3 girls added "that",
and finally, since theDMO's and two ServerGirls aren't speaking to each other, we just set theWare next to them awhile to Chill down,
and finally,
we got a BusGirl!! to "flame theCustard" and glaze the top for you,
as it's now after 9pm, she's usually pretty blitzed from drinking left over Wine,
from the used alcohol bottles and from theKegs,
we're glad you liked it.
-----------------------
luvs, theSam!!
I've looked for it on my blog archives but can't find it, I know I buried it amongst other writings as an add on,
I probably buried it in an AlaskanPrincess!!Lodge post or something,
I'll be darned if I do that again, (work for thePrincess!! ever again) But anyway.
Here's a Repost!!
theSteakHouse!!
home of too many Chefs and not enough DishWashers!!
theDMO!! (theDummo!! / dishMachineOperator)
King of all he rinses, sends through theMachine and stacks!!
.....and sometimes he acts like he's Queen of theKitchen too.
Order UP!!
RedNosePatron
Hey BarTender!! Wharz my Dreenkk!?
theSteakHouse!!
-Quality (lol)
-Speed?! (but seriously, you can buy some out back) I'm joking here people!!
-Service!!
.....come on, Choose One!!
Mr Pillsbury!!
I’m theChif!! and that’s that!!
now somebody poke my tummy....
theHeadChef!!
and like all big headed egotists, he's all PaperCap and whiteCoat!!
theMan,
at least that's what we think he is, after a few years behind theGrill, the heat tends to warp you like what heat does to a candle, you soften out a bit but then again,
Undertakers & Doctors bury their mistakes,
Firemen put out theFlames and Sift through theAshes of other people's mistakes,
and most Chef's!! eat theirs.
theMyth,
his reputation lasts as long as theSpinach & Broccoli is in your system and if you think Nascar and KentuckyDerby "down to theWire" photoFinishes are minute,
it's hard to tell if his Pantry and theBowl of whipped spuds under his Blender has more starch than his pristine whiteJacket!!
Go on, touch theJacket if you dare.
theLegend!!
DistinctiveQuality, IncomparableTaste....
Not to mention theUnderdone steaks, theOverSpiced Salads,
and theGrilledSalmon still in it’s death throes!!
And dessert!! ,theOnly thing CheeseCake about that was the 2” fishNetting Full-Body stocking on Ingra (and her's are tattood on!!)
Stand Back!!
theBlonde!! is about to pour water.
theHotServerGirls!!
if you want Breakfast in Bed, go sleep in theKitchen.....
or just do what theSam!! does,
“doggyBag” some food and take it home,
btw, whatever happened to Hailey!?
Born to Cook!!
cos my Mommy was a Hot ServerGirl and daddy was theDMO!!
theSteakHouse!!
Angels are disguised as ServerGirls, BarMaids and 2 BusGirls!!
theLineManager!!
while I have thisApron!! on I am theBoss, do you understand!?
....and take off my highHeels Sam!!, if you break them my Wife will kill us both.
theChef!!
what part of “it’s NOT READY yet”, do you not understand?!
god, go look for some OTHER dirty dishes to wash, geezzz.
You just brought out that clean stack and already you're asking me that silly question.
it’s not easy
being theHouseMom!! and I’m theBarMaid!!
....guess it's cos I "am" expecting though so everyone just assumes this...
theBarristaGal!!
cows shoot milk out their Noses at theSound of my name!!
theTres Chef!!
I love cooking with Wine, sometimes I even put some in theFood!! *hiccup*
Wine gets better with Age,
and here at theSteakHouse, you may start out as an HotHostess or an Babe-alicious BarMaid, but as YOU age,
you become Server and then you eventually help out theDMO’s,
See that one Haggard woman walking her shopping cart talking to herself across the street?!
Last month she was an Hot 18yr old and rumor has it, she was turned over one too many times!!
theSteakHouse!!
home of theSweetest girls in theCity!!
They can go from Hostess to Bitch in 1.5 seconds.
and our night DMO can go from Silly to Annoying in 2.5 seconds.
King of theGrill!!
theFastest, best cooking Chef!!
King of theShrill!!
theBitchiest, dykey-est, whiningest hostess!!
theDMO!!
Who Are These Kidz!?
and why are they calling me Dad!?
theSteakHouse!!
kiss theChefs!!,
hug theBarmaids!!
show theBarTenderz YOUR tips!!
just wipe OFF theCutlery!!
and yes sir, for you hard to please Guests,
we actually have a MiniGrill, a MicroBar and SaladMaker Station just for you!!
theSteakHouse!!
real men don't eat quiche,
but our DMO insists on having it for his nightly meal!!
that and a liter of pop.
theHostess!!
yes Ma'am, our Sioux-fle's are Authentic,
he's gonna clock in any minute now,
keep your eyes open!!
Patron: Waiter, there's a fly in my Soup!!
Employee:That's because we had theRoaches fumigated last month.
Patron: Waiter, this Creme Brule' is fantastic, how was it created!?
Employee: Well, theGirls donated their nightCream moisterizers,
theBOH (back of house) chefs got a couple Keys of pureMexican and blended in with the Brown sugar to give it "OOmmpphh",
theDMO's were slow on getting clean whisks out to beat theEggs, so
the2nd Barmaid looked in her purse and found an Wooden spatula (she's a Dom!!) to beat with,
and that Mace flavor??, is actual OC spray, as one DMO used to be a VillageCop,
and.. well..
theNightAudit and dayMgr are still fighting in back over theDay's books account so,
since our BOH ovens are down for theNight, we just stuck theChina ware filled with custard sauce inside theOffice where they're fighting and after 25mins,
theCustard was completely set!!, oh...
and theVanilla??, 3 girls added "that",
and finally, since theDMO's and two ServerGirls aren't speaking to each other, we just set theWare next to them awhile to Chill down,
and finally,
we got a BusGirl!! to "flame theCustard" and glaze the top for you,
as it's now after 9pm, she's usually pretty blitzed from drinking left over Wine,
from the used alcohol bottles and from theKegs,
we're glad you liked it.
-----------------------
luvs, theSam!!
Comments