Unconscious!! from Anchorage.....

theSam!! reaches Mile Post 195 of Blogging!!
and he did it without catching a ride from anyone else!!

this new mile post means that theSam!! is at theZenith of his blogging career and although theSam!! hasn't a clue what "Zenith" is, except that maybe it's a brand of televisions!?,

theSam!! certainly hopes that "Twilight" won't ever be a label applied to him, as many Villagers!! would always use that dreaded word when theSam!! would shine his magLight or SpotLight in their beady, reddened, Alcohol soaked eyes....

they would exclaim loudly, "Twi light!?" (translation: Why the Light!?)

anywho.
------------

theSam!!
More CROCK and less jock, but still not without thePot (theCooking!! kind-not theDrug) and as always never without theMock!! (ing of Self or theVillage!!)

so far theDummo!! (DMO / dish machine operator) is doing ok at either work place.
But a new hire of recent, at one place was getting on theSam!!'s nerves all week by constantly berating Sam!! and by being privately abusive and inhospitable and dare I say, Racist as well?!

so theSam!! left his work shift early one time last week and took some time off from one fineEatingEstablishment, work like that should be fun and theKids should be fun to be around and being in the Hospitality Industry should be a safe experience which wasn't the case for the last two weeks.

Honestly though, when you have an coWorker really moving fast and getting the dishes done, but at the price of chipping most ware, and sending ware & utensils to theLine still soiled, and then the new CoWorker is a control freak at that,

just assuming command of everyone else and ordering us Dummo's around and being a pain, eventually some type of abuse is bound to occur. I've seen it happen elsewhere in my life.

It's either just a personality conflict or else, one new coWorker is on or somehow under Influence of Drugs at work and theOther worker!?, is just old and slow and thorough at what he does and never bosses anyone around and in general, is easy to get along with.

I say,
it's a Personality conflict and that someone's under theInfluence!! enuf said.

I've been back at work 2 days now, (again) and things are ok.
Working BOH / Back of House isn't rocket science true, but then again, neither was being Village Public Safety and it isn't hard to spot someone under theInfluence at all now after having "Lived" out in theVillage!! or after living on theReservation either.

theSam!! took one of those 2 days off from work and attended an local Alaska Distributors and Great Northern Beverage 2007 Holiday Trade Show at an local Sheraton hotel.

theExperience was toad-ally, TOAD-aly awesome!!, like, OMG!!
and theSam!! did get to sample some exceptional fine wines from all around theContinental United States and from Europe I believe.

theSam!!
How Dry he Am!!
Yet still "Robust" and certainly not without Complexity!! and Exceptional Intensity!!

After having been used by Mormonism over 20yrs ago via having served a 2 yr church mission, I hung onto the faith for another 10yrs and after having my life fall apart and ending up homeless and living out on the streets a few weeks in Seattle,

I more or less gave up on ever having a blessed part in that Organization,
So from late 1990's until now I've had not much to do with the church at all and though I haven't resigned my church membership,

I'm pretty much an Ex mormon now.
But I'm not against the church as much as I am against some of it's people.

Like some of those former lds placement people, theCaseWorkers and friends, theSchool friends and family's, theMissionaries themselves that I served with and some college buddies and such,

pretty much everyone that should have done their parts to help out and to be more supportive and keep in touch but didn't.

None of that past means anything now
Good things and bad things happened and yet I grew from each experience, but if none of those dear people of mine Churchwise are here today with me, it means nothing.

Most people would feel that leaving behind their church beliefs and basically their Identity would be hard, and it is, but my identity isn't solely with the church.

First of all, I am a Native American,
And I very much believe in God, and in Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
I just don't feel that the mormons have the sole Exclusive right to these 3 beings as they think that they do.

I am an Native American and like most other NearDeathExperience people and other spiritually sensitive people Worldwide, I've had my visitations and experiences with Diety. I've had these expereinces since Infancy and if I didn't have that connection to my Creator I guess that leaving organized religion would be much harder for me than for most people.

I'm not an athiest, and never will become one, cos I know God is real, it's just that my God is not theMormon god. Somewhere along the line, theLDS church became corporate and Unanswerable to it's members and quite frankly, to anyone else on earth and I want no part of that group in my life.

Some of my dear family believes still and it's fine with me.
Religion is a personal thing for me, always has been and I will leave my extended family alone because I know how precious it is to really hold onto those organized religious beliefs.

So I'll leave no doubts in anyone's minds, I'll say it now.
I Samuel L Flyinghorse, am no longer LDS, I am no longer an member of that racist, sexist church.

I am no longer a member of that cult and it has no control over me anymore.
I depend no more upon it for my identity, or for any affirmations of any kind,

I do not lean on that church and I do not support it anymore with forced tithes.
And I do believe that for the mormons, $ / money is everything to them.

Back in 1995
when I was getting back into church activity after being absent for a few years due to military service, an church bishop by name of k. Hudson did restrain from me or did withhold from me an temple recommend for a period of one year until I had shown sufficient evidence to him that I was worthy of an recommend,

and that proof to him was me paying tithes to his everett 1st ward, in everett washington.

See?!, I had to "Pay" for my temple recommend and nothing else would do. It didn't matter to them sick bastards at church that I was a good man, with faults or weaknesses yes, as we all have, but nothing held me back from reception of an TR.

Nothing but a greedy, $ hungry church bishop. I've noticed though, over a lifetime of church membership that all bishops and branch presidents, stake presidents and the like are the same.

They all want your $ no matter the cost to you personally or professionally.

And for a few years while living in Everett wa, I did live right and good. I did turn my life around completely and tried to do the right things and gave much in time and service, $ and talents to that fucking church,

and nothing good ever happened to me that I wanted or prayed for or worked for.
As I had found some prospects for marriage and had some great church member friends to lean on and have good times with, but still,

I wanted and needed more and never got it.

After I fell into homelessness and despair,
my dear mother sent for me from Alaska and bought a plane ticket for me up here to Alaska.

Since then I've never really looked back on my life, but only to see things for what they were and for what did happen to me to make me become the Good person that I am today.

I am still good,
I am a great person and inspite of all that happened to me I still reach higher and want to progress in life and beyond.

Looking back on the last decade of life though or even back 2 decades, it still doesn't mean that any bad or evil people that didn't help me or that hindered me won't be held accountable for what wrongs that they did to me.

I believe in karma and I believe in justice, that what evil you do to others will be visited upon you many times over later on in life.

This I firmly believe and know because of what things I personally learned from God & Christ during my "vision" times with them when I was sick or under extreme durress and was taken away to them.

I don't know why these experiences of deity happened to me, I don't deserve them, I'm not the church man kind of person anymore and even after I formally left church activity my God still blessed my life and did help me along the way,

it just wasn't the mormon god that did that though, when you are brought up a certain way to go in life and apply those teachings, they help you and build you up.

But many people will see this embracing of certain beliefs and of my holding onto trains of thought even after I left the clutches of an enigmatic cult, but once again,

I've had my own
personal experiences with deity and can only say that I've had various stepping stones in life to help me, after all,

it was one DomesticViolence afflicting / physically abusive church foster parent of mine that used to parrot to me all the time,

"turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones", So perhaps my God was using him to help me along the way back then,

This is me talking here my friends,
I was brought up good and lived a great life. I've had many good people tell me how to live and I was blessed, but it's time to move on in life.

Time to leave behind what basically is a false way of church life, because anything I ever applied to my own life in "progressing eternally" via the mormon way never worked,

and common sense tells you or anyone else with half a brain, that if something doesn't work for you, then put it aside and never pick it up again or at the very least, try to fix it.

And though I am still of the mindset to fix or reform the lds church and bring it out of the past,

even though I'm all for making that church acknowledge openly it's own muddied, murderous and shady past and come clean with many things that Other People have addressed, I can leave it alone.

After all, through out my life, the church has left me alone.
And now I will start to leave it alone entirely.

So, coming forward and ahead till today.

I am living in Anchorage and living happily I might add.

I had a bad 2 weeks at work and finally, the abuseiveness of an coWorker at one place just got to me one evening and I left work for a couple of days.

I attend the Distributors Trade show and I love it.

Now, I did drink beer as a child when I lived on the reservation and my fellow Native friends did "make" me drink or smoke or use chew tobacco.

As membership in their circle did mean having beer in hand or a lit cigarette in the mouth or tobacco in mouth, But after a while I got tired of that and had to fight them when I said "No",

And years later
at the old age of 40 here in anchorage, I start to drink again.
But I stay away from beer.

I just don't like the image I will portray to people if they see me holding beer.
So I had Bacardi & Coke on my 40th birthday and celebrated with a couple close friends.

And since then, have had an drink with a weekly High-end Restaurant meal.
I went straight for the hard stuff and was a bit perplexed at the assortment of wines available at theTrade show I recently attended.

I had pinot noir at one table and it was "grapey", but not like grape soda pop or grape fruit juices, and those wines did linger a bit too in the mouth.

Some had chocolate flavors, others had bitter or sweet tastes, some were full, some wines quickly left the mouth,

others were dry and some wet.
You have to experience all that to believe it.

And I loved the Rosa Regali that was distributed by Villa Banfi.
That stuff is like shast grape soda pop, just shake the shast can and open and drink!! But in this case of the RosaRegali,

pour into the wine glass and drink.
I must say to you people whom have never attended any wine or alcohol trade shows.

Eat up first, Get a meal in your stomach first.
And then go there with a smile on your face, be nice to people and talk.
Ask questions and listen to the sales people.

They are there to help you learn about their product and they are also there to sell their wines and liquors.

Here's what I'd buy
if I were an purchaser for an restaurant or bar to serve with the meals.

LOL, theRosa Regali Bjrachetto d' Acqui!!
All 3 lines of it and in fact, I'd buy stock on wallStreet too!!

IconEstates had a good Ruffino Chianti, light and mellow tasting it was.

And the Chardonnay was a bit heavy for my virgin tongue but it would go great with Meats and fish.

Boisset American had a nice DeLoach RussianRiver zinfendel.
tasty!! and it smelled good too. Buy some.

I'm sorry that I sampled nothing from the Lawer Family Winery table or the Ste. Michell Wine Estates tables.

Those people were too busy talking to well dressed program attendees and their product was too dressed up / bottled and packaged for my virgin taste.

Quite frankly, I fit in to the banquet scene wearing clean black slacks, an long sleeved white shirt (no Tie!!), long hair all neatly pulled back off my face but still, some people no matter how well dressed just frighten you away!!

I loved, the WinePartners table.
They took an actual painting line from some GibsonGirl era artist and used the picture on their wine labels.

Red Truck, White Truck, Picket Fence and Bivo.
I loved the packaging and how the wines looked all by themselves too.

I tasted the White truck. Could imagine myself driving that midCentury era pickup truck painted on the label. Ha ha.. driving now adays and getting a DUI!!

But never theLess, theWhite Truck was Yummy. Buy buy buy and don't sell.

RobertHall winery and DFV Wines tables were too busy, once again,

so I moved on with my bottled water under my arm, an Wine glass tucked under arm too and my small plastic cup,

if you taste alcohol of any kinds at these trade shows, they have wine glasses center room by the finger food tables and you can also get the small 2ounce plastic disposable cups to use when you sample Vodkas, Rums, Whiskeys etc.

Firesteed Vineyards had their Oregon Pinot gris.
My virgin mouth says, "thin", but that's because the wine didn't dominate my mouth or taste buds like the other wines did (in a pleasant way)

and I liked the running horse label.

Diago Chateau & Estates tables were nice people.
I have an check mark on my Lists menu by their EdnaValley pinot noir, but right now I can't say why I loved it.

I just wrote "wow" on the List copy next to what I drank.

Belvedere isn't just an silly name for an bulldog on an Bugs bunny cartoon.
Belvedere Vodka is a great drink that comes from a nice looking opaque type bottle.

Try it, it's fire water going down yes, really strong but pleasant after taste and if I may mock it a bit. It's strong on the breath like after you use mouth wash and swish & spit and then go "aaahhhh" real dramatically.

theDiageo Spirits tables were staffed by nice men.
I mean, the other tables were mixed of crisp, clean suited men and women but theDS table,

I dunno why one of the salesReps looked like an former LEO colleaugue of mine I met at one time, but the man happily poured me an quarter Ounce (every table poured a 1/4oz into an 2oz cup) of Ciroc Vodka. Good and strong it was.

I wanted to try the Patron tequilas but I didn't.
I mean, I had an Mexican stepdad and an Grandpa & Uncle too, not to mention some Cousins!!

and they all were Illegals but they drank the tequila from time to time and
I was thinking of my short, tiny small, compact & powerful grandpa who's name was "Natividad".

I thought of him when I looked at the Patron bottles, sitting on the tables, short, squat and full of spirit.

Maybe next time I drink something after a good bar meal, I'll have an Patron for an Old Patrone of mine!!

Absolut!! Black & theRuby red I'd also buy in quantity.
As i stood next to an female as she tasted some Absolut Peach, I could smell thePeach!! I'll drink some of that later.

ElMayor Bianco Tequila (ok ok. but it WASN'T Patron!!, get over it!!) was good, this one had Pepper in it to spice it up.

Grandpa Natividad would have looooovvveeedd this one, as he'd squat down outside and eat his beans, chili, tortillas and what ever else mama would cook and drink beer.

the Bourbons I sampled were like fire, now I understand unequivacably what that term means. Cos some alcohols just "Burn" the throat going down.

Bourbons and that other drink I first had that burned, I'll stay away from.
BartonBrands Pomegranate Spice vodka was tasty.

I'd drink that with a burger & fries and topped off with pie alamode!!
And speaking of dessert.

It was at the Alaska Distributors Great Spirits' of the World table that I sampled some Three Olive Cocolate Vodka and the Pomegranate vodka.

Pretty much after the first bourbon though, my mouth was getting numb!!
And I went center room for a full plate of finger foods and lots of cheese.

I even had seconds and 3rds of vodka to help wash down the fingerfoods.

Then!!
then it was at this time, almost 90minutes after first stepping into the banquet room and first tasting alcohol, in such (small) mass quantities that I started to feel tingly all over.

And as I noted that I dropped my small 2oz plastic cup more than twice, I figured that I must be getting drunk. Cos fine dexterity, fine motor skills that you never think about when sober, become difficult for you when you're drunk.

I dropped an eating utensil and decided. That's it. Go home. When I was getting warm inside.

By this time I had decided to leave anyway, go catch a bus back to theApt and hit theInternet or else play some piano as I was in a muscial frame of mind by this time.

I left the banquet room on the 2nd floor and I did observe an Player Piano just sitting there all alone!!

It was one of those huge, sleek models that theAlaskanPrincess!!Lodge had, an huge player piano that played music CD's of piano music and theKeys would move for you to see.

I felt very very warm by now and I don't remember much during an 30minute time frame.
maybe that's my drunken experience!?

Maybe that was my "fun" time, And I did have a grand old time too, as I can recall playing that there Player Piano.

As always, I did a 3 or 4 black key steady bass run with my left hand and this time.
All my recent practice paid off when my right hand just took on a life of its own.

Somewhere on YouTube, I recorded my small Casio keyboard playing "BACK" to me an piece that I had just played and recorded. And in this YouTube video You hear my playing.

That was childish, that was amateur compared to the playing I did that day at the Sheraton.

Well. granted, at least to me it was that big of a comparison.

My right hand just flitted around on a few white keys and mostly played black keys.
I loved how I sounded that day.

I must practice more here in theApt and then go drink somewhere there's an expensive grand piano and play play play Play!!

That piano playing for a bit was the highlight of my day.
Not the drinking and the stepping into a new role in life, exploring a new way of life. No,

it was sitting there and playing my heart out in public and not caring how many people were present around me,

before I left, some people wanted me to stay and play some more. I was sad to disappoint them but had to go and I left.

That piano experience
I put on par with my VPSO days and when I was learning to Fly. When I got to solo all by myself.

As much as I wanted to unbuckle my seat belt and hop out thePlane with my CFI / flight Instructor, I didn't. I stayed in the plane, did what any man would do and I took off,

then joined approach pattern and landed & took off 3 times thus making it Official.

In subsequent flight trainings
my CFI did tell me to go out and fly off by myself for a bit. And I did. I loved that flight experience.

I was all by myself and yet, in a sense, I would call it sad too because none of my dear loved ones were there with me to feel what I felt and to see what I saw,

and to learn what I learned that Solo flight day and subsequent times I flew alone.
Later on theCross country flight with a different CFI was an Isolated experience too.

As the young CFI kept to himself, he wasn't mean or negative in any way, it's just that I never bonded with him to an extent that I did bond with my first CFI,

whom btw, was an old Navy flight officer I had first met way back in 1992 while I was in the Military. Yep. it's a small world after all.

And my Other solo
was that day I immersed myself in Alcohol and then saw the Piano and I played from my heart without a care in the world.

I wished that I had family, friends, loved ones there to see me play.
But that didn't happen and it probably won't happen.

Not until I start to play more and more around Anchorage it won't.

I even went back to Sheraton hotel and asked about their player piano but the Manager / Security type man I spoke with said "No, they don't want anyone playing their piano".

Keep in mind
that at this distributors show there were about 27 tables, or vendors.

And each vendor had anywhere from 20 to 40 different labels for sale and about as much On Display for people to drink.

I had at least 3 or more samples per table, except from those tables I skipped.
And when theWine was poured, most of what I got was the actual served amount that I've seen Bar patrons drink.

And no one told me, how to taste wine.
I thought that people would, but no one did. Because at a lot of these vendor tables were tiny metal buckets which one would discard wine they tasted.

I had to watch a few people to discover that you sniff, look at the wine, taste some, swish it around-roll it around in your mouth and spit it out, discard your glass contents and move on.

Plus, I picked up 2 water bottles and rinsed out my mouth with them.
Either way, formal training or informally it was an enjoyable experience.

So, drink wine when you visit any vendor / distributor tradeshows!!
You'll get toasty warm and then, from there.

Depending upon your personality and what is in your heart and what's on your mind!!
You'll do "something" and it can either be good or bad.

I'm glad that I did something that I love, and that other people liked.

After I got back to theApt that day.
I got really drowsy and decided to sleep. And I slept alllll evening, all night and woke up to pee a few times that night I know.

but I slept all night and woke up just barely in time to shower and dress and catch the bus!!

But I missed the bus
and waited for the next bus, and ended up walking into theKitchen at Work 10 mins late.

Obviously I wasn't the only one that had been at this trade show, as a few coWorkers and even a couple of bosses were present, but they kept to themselves and stayed aloof.

I did try to talk with a female boss of mine, but she was too wrapped up in her business talk that I got tired of waiting for her to turn to me, even after I moved around her and stood by her side a few times,

Her body language said, Go away.
That's another thing I was probably experiencing from theInfluence effects that I started to feel from drinking.

I felt good and felt at peace and wanted to socialize with a boss of mine, but she kept ignoring me. Stupid White People!!

anywho. Whado I care. Even my coworkers and my boss could have been there with me in sharing some of my first steps along my journey out of and away from christianity of the mormon kind,

but they didn't say hi, and didn't look at me.
That isn't a bad thing though, as some stalwart lds church people will look at this event and try to spook me,

telling me silly things that I lost the spirit and I'm no longer handsome, people don't respect you, etc.

What a load of bullshit. I am me because of and inspite of Religion. And now I am still me Without religion. And I'd just say fuck you to anyone that tried to spook me or preach to me. I don't need any of that judgemental attitude right now.

Yes, indeed I have passed Mile Post 195.
Far past and still walking my solitary journey it seems.

At one of the Restaurants where I work, I took an favorite chefGirl!! of mine, an temporary tattoo, I had obtained it from an Vendor at theWine show, and left it for her.

Her very own TrampStamp!! I said. ha ha ha..
---------------

theSam!!
no longer Drunk, just Silly still!!

theSam!!
whom drove his WhiteTruck past HillBrook Estates and over into WineCountry where he took his blushing date, mz Rosa Regali away from her mom Flouria and her dad, an mean old Brut, whom once was an Colonel in theHeredad Reserve.

The young TwoFingered lovers eyes sparkled like Brookstone Waters and they stopped theWhiteTruck,

did cease the vandalism of rural country mail boxes and the tipping of hapless cows to stop and smell theRedRoses,

did stop to run Brerefoots!! past theOakMills trees and streak AnnBradleysHouse and listen to the old crone Wine about being HarvestMooned!!, and explored theLongGrasses of Ruffino's Cabernet game Reserve!!

Where theSam!! promptly shot an ruffedGrouse with his .22 and he and mzRosa later on dined on their Fowlgame with a sweet sorbet flavored, seedy, grapey chardonney.

Then theSam!! took his little cup of SpicedCider!! in hand and went to town on her Absolutely!! black Bush until cups and cups of EggNog were summoned from his Blueberries!!

then msRosa was respectfully taken back to her place and daintily placed upon theCounter before her glowering exColonel dad.

Sadly, theSam!! was stopped by theRobertHall township police on his way home and after an FelonyStop was administered he failed the FST / field sobrietyTests, was arrested for DUI failing to touch his Nose,

or to stand upon his two feet and for flirting with officer JoeBlow's K-9 sideKick-Belvedere!!

theSam!! later became combative with RH PD and was subsequently tasered in theAss by officer nickFaldo and his partner ms officer Hennesey,

whom btw, was XO of the RH township PD!! She had a great big Baton and wasn't afraid to use it upon theSam!!'s huge noggin'.

Before theSam!! slipped into unconsciousness he got a good handful of SilverVestige from theXO and faded to Black!!

*sigh*

and this is where this little ditty gets ugly people!!

theSam!! was taken before Captain Morgan, whom was acting township judge, Well. ol' CM did carry in his waistbands a pair of Pyrot Pistols.

And ol' CM did boast that he could shoot a fly off the wall at 100'.

Well, theSam!! after spending 2.5yrs in theVillage!! and finally being able to pop bottle caps off bottles at 100 to 200' while Walking / moving sideways / walking backwards and Running!!

theSam!! did propose to a contest, to see whom could hit a target at 300' or even 500' with a pistol.

Well.
old Captain Morgan was pretty spiced up and thought that he could easily win the shooting contest hand down,

But theSam!! knew that he had to put handsOn. erh..

2 hands on theShooterzGirl!! when it came time to shoot Whiskey!!
and it was an HootersGirl with Big Bazooms that shot theWhiskey!! to Sam!!

Yep, hands on people.
hands on and at over $10 a shot too!!

oh.. as for the Other shooting contest.
theSam!! dropped theLemon, did drop thePlum, did drop theGrape, did easily drop thePear and twisted theOrange nipple so much,

it was a bloodyMary pulp when all was said and done.
As for cute msRosa Regali, she dropped a Double 9 months later and named theKids.
Peppermint and Syrah.
------------

theSam!!
now contente to elburno ze skillete and smoka uppa ze whole placeah.. ze wholeah wrista rawnta!!
*cough-cough-cough*

theSam!!
Starched white linen is theNew ballisticVest!!

theSam!!
theBestNewWurst!! on the block.
After following theSausage & Biscuits Recipe by theBook!! noLess, was adamantly told by his 1stChef to "go back to McDonalds!!"

which theObedient!! did later that evening and enjoyed an frosty shake and 2 pies with his quarterPounder & cheese and freedom fries.

theSam!!
whom was so Decanted with theVillage!! he evaporated overnight, Literally!!

theSam!!
sometimes theBitterTruth is just a sweetened sugar cube away!!

theSam!!
Hold theFruit!!, please.

theSam!!
a balancing act even when he's Sober!!

theSam!!
theUltimateHomeChef!! and now the reason his JamaicanLandLady and half theBlock had to do an UltimateHomeMakeOver!! after he flambe'd theSteak tartar and bisqued theIce Cream!!

theSam!!
lately even his salad is dressing and his salsa loses it's zest!!

theSam!!
scrubby, scrubbee, scrubby those pots Sam!!

theSam!!
unforgettable,

Until you get over 3 glasses of wine and about 3/4 a doubles glass of booze inside you.

Then, Who Cares!!

theSam!!
Food processor for 40yrs and now, an alcohol distillery!!

theSam!!
on his own WHINE list,

in Black Ink, size 15 NewTimes font and repeating over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...

oh.. and 1/2" margins, No billets, Highlighted and in Italics!!

theWine Tasting!!
never, ever, NOT EVER has theSam!! been soo...
let loose!!

well. except when he gets mad and eats warm milk w/ Granola!!

theChippedCup!!
our secret Ingredients cannot be found upon a spice rack,

but after hours, on theInternet,

2 hot ServerGirls, theLeadSommelier and one of theDeliveryTruck drivers can be found on theBondageRack!!

theChippedCup!!
We've averaged out our yearly budgets expenditures upon PublicSafetyResponses and Other tenuous "safety" responses to cost us about $550 per event,

not including theHeartAttacks "suffered" by an certain "Dummo!!" when being spoonFed cheeseCake and iceCream by theBaristaGirls!! and certainly not to include the times when he smokes out half theCity Block just lighting up theGrills!!

theSam!!
lighting up theGirls.....
lighting up theGrillz one flame at a time!!

......after absent mindedly turning theDamn things off before closing the place down at 0200hrs.

No one told me that those things are supposed to be left on.

theSam!!
never, ever!! test out an new EQ / earthQuake amplifier when grandma & grandpa Tallahassee are visiting theCity!! for the summer and decide to eat at theRestaurant when you're doing sound checks with theNew Guitar and you inadvertantly stomp "theMetalPeddle" during riff practice.

oh... and don't ever forget to plug in headphones into theRIGHT outlet too.

theSoup!!
cos he's so bland and yet, warm and snug.

Pour pepper on him and he sneezes and like any good base sauce that needs to be thinned out if too thick, just make HIM runny by adding water.

Lots of it, just hurl it and don't stop!!

theChippedCup!!
got 200 extra guests on the 300 people list!?
No need to bring in those ServerKids on reserve Employee standby and no sense in giving OT to current workers,

Just feed your Dummo half a pound of Cacao bakers chocolate, let him make pasta dough all afternoon,

feed him Pepsi and Raisin bread crumbs, and by dinner time promise him first pick of all theEmpty liquor bottles from theBar!!,

to include you "keeping" clean leftovers aside for him and after he washes dishes all next day and half theNight,

oh... and let him crash in peace in the broom closet!!

theUtensilRack!!
but seriously, you need to replace that new stainless Copper stoker "he" ruind-ed last week and don't tell me that you're not going to get anything less than High Tensile strength WireWhisks to use upon him when daily anticipated GuestList numbers fall!!

Please, that big steel Pot paddle hanging on theWall was meant for him....
Use it!!

he's killing me here, cleaning out theGirls!! with WessonOil and then as way of "comparison", measuring what comes out of "Them!!" against those new tempered glass 2 and 4 cups measureCups you bought,

he still can't get it into his head that a liquid ounce is measured by volume as an ounce is by weight and used for dry ingredients..

theMesh Strainer!!
the new stainless Dunce Cap for DMO's / Dummo's, complete with directional control handle so you can slap it on your "Dummo" and keep control of his kitchen movements.

theSoiledApron!!
when Food becomes Art.
when appetite is blonde and petit,
when there must be absolutely, positively no hand / boob/ butt prints upon theBar!! or stainless counters before theMorningCrew comes on, then use me. (again)

theKitchenSink!!
when all "evidence" absolutely positively must be washed away out of sight before theMorningCrew comes on, then use me...(again)
--------------

wait... wait....
he's waking up.

Are you finished with theMarker yet!?


d:oP
luvs,
theSam!!

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