Go Find Yourself!!

Restrain Yourself!!

There are places in theState that just R-E-A-C-H out to us, then draws us in.
People and places here in Alaska that just calm us down, that help us reach deep into our Soul and relax,

We gently feel at ease and just want to place our hands behind our backs and just give in!!

There are those places that stir within us a reNude sense of self that empowers us to look beyond what theHell!! we are and drives us to discover just What theHell?! we can be.

That when you find yourself face down during one of our famed "RollOver" Clothes, Possessions and Wallet "Body Lifts!!" You'll wonder, "just where theHell?! am I?!

PalmsOutto Bluffe!!
An backwoods, Backwards!! LowCountry, lowrider!! treasure that, when combining unDisturbed Sleeping (passedOut!!) Village beauty with a Pristine NaturalIce filtered Hops Preserve (in Mass Quantities and when mixed with GrayGoose and or Spiced Rum,

You get an thoughtful, Artful, an Eyefull and certainly an Handsfull!! of naturally exceptional. erh.. Properties!!

Get Lost!!

At it's Heart... erhh.. Liver!! stands theIn!! of Palm(helds)Outto Bluffe!! an wholly owned subsidiary of AlmalgamatedVillagesAssociated and operated by Last!!Resorts.

Check out our "UrbanRoom!!", an City sized HideAway lounge that allows you to interact with our fine Officers, our upright CourtJudges, and you're even assigned an Probations Officer as LastResort if needed!!

theInner Palms of hands held Outto!! is recognized by many travelers and Locals alike as one of theState's!! finest in luxuriously "economical" accomodations (if not just a commode!! in some store or restaurant that'll let you in!!)

Find Yourself!!
should you ever want to experince "Wild!!" Alaska how it was (never) meant to be then join us here at YVC!! and "C" just "Y" that when you Find yourself on Skid row and end up in our prestigious Shelter, it'll be impossible to lea"V"e!!

Uh..
We'd interview some of our Kitchen staff right about now but theDummo!! / dish machine Operator is stuffing his face from theLeftovers in the trash,

theHeadServer is giving away iceCream by theHandfulls!! (and that's not all) and our barTenders are all passed out behind theBar!!

Think of us at Palms(held)Outto!!
Or not, as most people can't when they're zooming by in their gleaming SUV's and racing to their RatRace jobs and you...

You have taken an Life's TimeOut and are spending your precocious time here with us at theIn!! (where being In is Out!!)

Exceptionally outStanding!!
Except when it's raining, then everyone pretty much hogs all theCovered bus stops and other protected doorways.

Leave No Bottle Behind!!
Unless it's empty then just feel free to toss it whereEver!!, whenEver!! you feel like it.

Our friendly Orange safetyVest clad groundsKeepers will pick it up when they sweep through theHidden foliage picking up Tents, blankets, clothes and other stuff.

Bring theKids!!
theMore theMerrier!! and theMore benefits you get!!
Let us at Palms(held)Outto keep theKiddies busy by introducing them to our "ProtectiveServicesDayCare" while you fill out paperwork,

while you stand in Line, while you get Fund$!! and while you party!!

Bring theKidz, bring theWife!!, hell. Even bring theInLaws if you have to.
We don't care!!

So..
To find out more, visit us or call us!!
yes we said to call.
As even "WE" have cellphone use,

it's called "LifeLines!!"

theInn(theHand!!) at PalmsOutto,
"Go F**K Yourself!!......ehh..

Can I have a dollar?!"

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