MEPS - Military Entrance Process Station
I had to do it eventually, to poke fun at MEPS and the Military in general.
My visit to MEPS 19yrs ago for the Navy was fun and the start of some of the best years of my life, I hope that this recent visit and Army Enlistment will be the same.
Go Army!!
---------
MEPS!! / Military Entrance Process Station!!
-theMEPS!!
theGateWay to all jobs military!!,
think of this as a virtual Garden of Eden for new recruits hoping to pick plum military jobs and get great pay, perks and benes!!
Erhh, the Flowers are all PLASTIC!!
-theMEPS!!
if you think theTaliban are pushing a RobinHood image with Pakistans poor,
Our Military Job Detailers are way ahead of the curve when it comes to getting hapless potential Recruits to sign theDottedLine!!
Mehhh,
We’re running neck in neck sometimes with military recruiters though.
-theMEPS!!
our unofficial name is really “Many Enlisting People Suckered!!”
-theMEPS!!
another name for us is really “Must Entertain, Perplex & Sidestep!!”
(everyone and their questions)
-theMEPS!!
if it isn’t in writing on your Enlistment contract, theMilitary doesn’t do it and it doesn’t exist!!
Who cares if the movie clip is on Youtube and your Dad did that job for 20yrs.
-theMEPS!!
the only song being softly piped over the soundsystem on ShipOut day is,
“I’m Leavin’ On A Jet Plane, Don’t Know If I’ll Be Back Again....”
OTHER music playlists also rans!!
Anything by SLAYER!!:
-“ambushed by the spray of lead, count the bullet holes in your head
Off spring sent out to die, living mandatory suicide”
-”Time melts away in this living inferno, trapped by a cause that I once understood
Feeling a sickness building inside of me, conscience a word I learn to forget”
-Johnny’s Got His Gun by Metallica, to include graphic Updated combat footage especially for theInfantry recruits!!
-the 1812 Overture, With Real Artillery Percussion!! for all the Cannoneer Recruits
-”They’re Coming To Take Me Away!!” by Napoleon, for all the PsyOps Recruits
-If I Could Turn Back TIME, by Cher. Yes the Shippers wish they could!!
-theMEPS!!
Be all that some one else coulda been!!,
Cos you’ll never really do what you wanted during your enlistment years and quite frankly, neither will anyone else!!
-theMEPS!!
theFew, theProud!!
and that’s just our staff,
which is why theSecretary that checked You in,
Briefs you later on and then EKG’s you, Tests Your Vision, Fills out your Next Of Kin papers with you
while theMedic gives your group physicals, takes your Intake photos,
watched you Pee!!, took your blood,
swore you all In and made your boxed Lunches after drawing everyone’s blood.
Never mind the 30 staff names on the wall, that’s just for show.
-theMEPS!!
we creep around in dark alleys and ARE the people your parents warned you about - When we’re not Processing and Shipping Out Recruits
-theMEPS!!
we’d aim higher but we’re still face down drunk early Monday morning trying to keep our consciences numbed.
-theMEPS!!
getting an Edge on LIFE to us means,
holding the blade to the neck of the potential recruit, forcing them to sign up!!
-theMEPS!!
DE-ccelerate Your LIFE here,
by hurrying up and waiting in our front TV room,
NO you can’t have the tv remote, Sit down and shut up!!
Ask permission to use the Restroom too!!
-theMEPS!!
true defenders of theHomeLand!!
cos after work, we hit theBars till we’re prostrate or proned out CLUTCHING the Earth!!
HOLDING onto the PLANET to keep it from going away.
(btw this is how one Recruiter found Sam!!) kidding, kidding...
-theMEPS!!
cheating theOtherRecruit and passing theBenefits and Perks onto you!!
-theMEPS!!
if You put the WELfare of theNation ahead of your needs,
We’ll put the CABfare in for your flight Out to basicTraining!!
-theMEPS!!
I signed up YOUR honor student d:oP
-theMEPS!!
If we could we’d set up shop out at theAirport!!
but officials out there cite “moral reasons” not to let us lease space
-theMEPS!!
send Us your cold, tired huddled masses,
We need more people that can Handle theInfantry work!!
-theMEPS!!
we’re the real reason that Army chevron stripes point UP!!
cos after every night of Drinking, theSergeants can look at their sleeves and tell which way to stand Up
-theMEPS!!
we’re the Real reason the Navy points their chevron stripes DOWN.
It’s where the Recruit can keep his creativity, his hopes, expectations and dreams!!
-theMEPS!!
we’re the reason the Army is strong,
cos after 6 or 7 dozen trips BACK to MEPS before shipping out,
You’re in the perfect Teeth gritting, blood spitting, ass kicking mood for basic Infantry training!!
Even before shipping Out, you’re Marching to War on your Ass sittin’ round waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.....
-theMEPS!!
we’re the reason the AirForce wears blue uniforms,
to Hide the Bruises that Other service enlistees inflict upon it’s recruits.
-theMEPS!!
telling you ALL you Need To Know about the military but were afraid to ask......
But only after 30 yrs of enlisted service!!
-theMEPS!!
Telling it like it is.......
by the StressLines on our faces,
theOff gassing of Alcohol vapors and the stench of cigarette smoke upon our hands and clothes.
-theMEPS!!
Plan to Win as a soldier for your country,
just don’t plan on winning any job seeking negotiations with us!!
-theMEPS!!
Win Cash and Prizes for signing up!!
But you have to serve first before seeing a small AFTER Tax portion of your Enlistment bonus but at least you’ll get stuff like Cool Army backpacks and T-shirts,
EyeCatching Marine bumper stickers and mini Basketballs,
Tiny plastic key FOBS and frisbees from the Navy.
-theMEPS!!
there’s a reason we sequester our daily prospects in the Main front room as they wait for the next testing hour.
If prospects sit down and gingerly lean back, avoiding hard contact on the Liver from last nights drinking, these are the Officers.
If prospects have to be told to sit down and to stay there and they obey!!
they’re Navy material.
If some prospects are in the Recreation Room playing pool, smoking, drinking and mingling with Female MEPS staff!!, those are the Army & Marine recruits, leave them alone.
If some prospects suddenly disappear and yet, their Medical jacket files are filled out and built up,
those guys and gals are the SPOOKS, cos they’ve snuck around theMEPS offices and pretty much done their own files, snapped their own photos, taken their own prints.
-theMEPS!!
If, during the singleFile movements down the Hall, an Prospect suddenly turns around and "Circles" back behind the Recruits behind him (pulls a Crazy Ivan!!) he's Navy subMariner material,
btw, is he wearing blue coveralls to MEPS?!
-theMEPS!!
if some guys are Old, decrepit, used up, Washed out, Haggard, Tired and pretty much Useless.....
those are the Prior Servicemen and most likely are over 40yrs of age!!
Sign them up for Infantry without consulting them first!!
erhh... Sign Sam!! up this way.
-theMEPS!!
come happy and patriotic,
Leave sullen and jaded!!
-theMEPS!!
our Shades of Success are always drawn and keep out the sunlight.
-theMEPS!!
If it looks like a duck while duck walking,
plops on it’s knees and can’t stand up on it’s feet (without using it’s hands)
It’s probably an Over 40yrs of age Army prospect named Sam!!
d:o/
----
-theMEPS!!
Interviewing various recruitProspects to see what they have to say about enlisting.
-theMEPS!! / tM!!
What were some of the issues you faced starting out young lady?!
-theMEPS Prospect!! / tMP!!
aside from the Roadblocks of police cruisers around theCity!!, I'd have to say it was that Spike strip that finally stopped my pt cruiser.
-theMEPS!! / tM!!
so you've had some trouble with drinking and driving and ran afoul of the law?!
-theMEPS Prospect!! / tMP!!
no, those darn recruiters reached deep down into their bag of dirty tricks trying to get some kids from my high school, guess I was one of the lucky ones,
I have a 4.0gpa and sing in the church choir btw, I don't know what I'm doing here signing for Physicians Assistant, I haven't even gone to college!!
----
-tM!!
sir, what brings you here on your way to a fine military career?!
-tMP!!
I was drinking at this bar last night, Shooters I think....
and now I'm here!!
----
-theSam!!
God bless the USA,
god bless our Troops,
god bless our President,
-Samuel L Flyinghorse, Hunkpapa Lakota, Standing Rock Sioux Tribe,
My visit to MEPS 19yrs ago for the Navy was fun and the start of some of the best years of my life, I hope that this recent visit and Army Enlistment will be the same.
Go Army!!
---------
MEPS!! / Military Entrance Process Station!!
-theMEPS!!
theGateWay to all jobs military!!,
think of this as a virtual Garden of Eden for new recruits hoping to pick plum military jobs and get great pay, perks and benes!!
Erhh, the Flowers are all PLASTIC!!
-theMEPS!!
if you think theTaliban are pushing a RobinHood image with Pakistans poor,
Our Military Job Detailers are way ahead of the curve when it comes to getting hapless potential Recruits to sign theDottedLine!!
Mehhh,
We’re running neck in neck sometimes with military recruiters though.
-theMEPS!!
our unofficial name is really “Many Enlisting People Suckered!!”
-theMEPS!!
another name for us is really “Must Entertain, Perplex & Sidestep!!”
(everyone and their questions)
-theMEPS!!
if it isn’t in writing on your Enlistment contract, theMilitary doesn’t do it and it doesn’t exist!!
Who cares if the movie clip is on Youtube and your Dad did that job for 20yrs.
-theMEPS!!
the only song being softly piped over the soundsystem on ShipOut day is,
“I’m Leavin’ On A Jet Plane, Don’t Know If I’ll Be Back Again....”
OTHER music playlists also rans!!
Anything by SLAYER!!:
-“ambushed by the spray of lead, count the bullet holes in your head
Off spring sent out to die, living mandatory suicide”
-”Time melts away in this living inferno, trapped by a cause that I once understood
Feeling a sickness building inside of me, conscience a word I learn to forget”
-Johnny’s Got His Gun by Metallica, to include graphic Updated combat footage especially for theInfantry recruits!!
-the 1812 Overture, With Real Artillery Percussion!! for all the Cannoneer Recruits
-”They’re Coming To Take Me Away!!” by Napoleon, for all the PsyOps Recruits
-If I Could Turn Back TIME, by Cher. Yes the Shippers wish they could!!
-theMEPS!!
Be all that some one else coulda been!!,
Cos you’ll never really do what you wanted during your enlistment years and quite frankly, neither will anyone else!!
-theMEPS!!
theFew, theProud!!
and that’s just our staff,
which is why theSecretary that checked You in,
Briefs you later on and then EKG’s you, Tests Your Vision, Fills out your Next Of Kin papers with you
while theMedic gives your group physicals, takes your Intake photos,
watched you Pee!!, took your blood,
swore you all In and made your boxed Lunches after drawing everyone’s blood.
Never mind the 30 staff names on the wall, that’s just for show.
-theMEPS!!
we creep around in dark alleys and ARE the people your parents warned you about - When we’re not Processing and Shipping Out Recruits
-theMEPS!!
we’d aim higher but we’re still face down drunk early Monday morning trying to keep our consciences numbed.
-theMEPS!!
getting an Edge on LIFE to us means,
holding the blade to the neck of the potential recruit, forcing them to sign up!!
-theMEPS!!
DE-ccelerate Your LIFE here,
by hurrying up and waiting in our front TV room,
NO you can’t have the tv remote, Sit down and shut up!!
Ask permission to use the Restroom too!!
-theMEPS!!
true defenders of theHomeLand!!
cos after work, we hit theBars till we’re prostrate or proned out CLUTCHING the Earth!!
HOLDING onto the PLANET to keep it from going away.
(btw this is how one Recruiter found Sam!!) kidding, kidding...
-theMEPS!!
cheating theOtherRecruit and passing theBenefits and Perks onto you!!
-theMEPS!!
if You put the WELfare of theNation ahead of your needs,
We’ll put the CABfare in for your flight Out to basicTraining!!
-theMEPS!!
I signed up YOUR honor student d:oP
-theMEPS!!
If we could we’d set up shop out at theAirport!!
but officials out there cite “moral reasons” not to let us lease space
-theMEPS!!
send Us your cold, tired huddled masses,
We need more people that can Handle theInfantry work!!
-theMEPS!!
we’re the real reason that Army chevron stripes point UP!!
cos after every night of Drinking, theSergeants can look at their sleeves and tell which way to stand Up
-theMEPS!!
we’re the Real reason the Navy points their chevron stripes DOWN.
It’s where the Recruit can keep his creativity, his hopes, expectations and dreams!!
-theMEPS!!
we’re the reason the Army is strong,
cos after 6 or 7 dozen trips BACK to MEPS before shipping out,
You’re in the perfect Teeth gritting, blood spitting, ass kicking mood for basic Infantry training!!
Even before shipping Out, you’re Marching to War on your Ass sittin’ round waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.....
-theMEPS!!
we’re the reason the AirForce wears blue uniforms,
to Hide the Bruises that Other service enlistees inflict upon it’s recruits.
-theMEPS!!
telling you ALL you Need To Know about the military but were afraid to ask......
But only after 30 yrs of enlisted service!!
-theMEPS!!
Telling it like it is.......
by the StressLines on our faces,
theOff gassing of Alcohol vapors and the stench of cigarette smoke upon our hands and clothes.
-theMEPS!!
Plan to Win as a soldier for your country,
just don’t plan on winning any job seeking negotiations with us!!
-theMEPS!!
Win Cash and Prizes for signing up!!
But you have to serve first before seeing a small AFTER Tax portion of your Enlistment bonus but at least you’ll get stuff like Cool Army backpacks and T-shirts,
EyeCatching Marine bumper stickers and mini Basketballs,
Tiny plastic key FOBS and frisbees from the Navy.
-theMEPS!!
there’s a reason we sequester our daily prospects in the Main front room as they wait for the next testing hour.
If prospects sit down and gingerly lean back, avoiding hard contact on the Liver from last nights drinking, these are the Officers.
If prospects have to be told to sit down and to stay there and they obey!!
they’re Navy material.
If some prospects are in the Recreation Room playing pool, smoking, drinking and mingling with Female MEPS staff!!, those are the Army & Marine recruits, leave them alone.
If some prospects suddenly disappear and yet, their Medical jacket files are filled out and built up,
those guys and gals are the SPOOKS, cos they’ve snuck around theMEPS offices and pretty much done their own files, snapped their own photos, taken their own prints.
-theMEPS!!
If, during the singleFile movements down the Hall, an Prospect suddenly turns around and "Circles" back behind the Recruits behind him (pulls a Crazy Ivan!!) he's Navy subMariner material,
btw, is he wearing blue coveralls to MEPS?!
-theMEPS!!
if some guys are Old, decrepit, used up, Washed out, Haggard, Tired and pretty much Useless.....
those are the Prior Servicemen and most likely are over 40yrs of age!!
Sign them up for Infantry without consulting them first!!
erhh... Sign Sam!! up this way.
-theMEPS!!
come happy and patriotic,
Leave sullen and jaded!!
-theMEPS!!
our Shades of Success are always drawn and keep out the sunlight.
-theMEPS!!
If it looks like a duck while duck walking,
plops on it’s knees and can’t stand up on it’s feet (without using it’s hands)
It’s probably an Over 40yrs of age Army prospect named Sam!!
d:o/
----
-theMEPS!!
Interviewing various recruitProspects to see what they have to say about enlisting.
-theMEPS!! / tM!!
What were some of the issues you faced starting out young lady?!
-theMEPS Prospect!! / tMP!!
aside from the Roadblocks of police cruisers around theCity!!, I'd have to say it was that Spike strip that finally stopped my pt cruiser.
-theMEPS!! / tM!!
so you've had some trouble with drinking and driving and ran afoul of the law?!
-theMEPS Prospect!! / tMP!!
no, those darn recruiters reached deep down into their bag of dirty tricks trying to get some kids from my high school, guess I was one of the lucky ones,
I have a 4.0gpa and sing in the church choir btw, I don't know what I'm doing here signing for Physicians Assistant, I haven't even gone to college!!
----
-tM!!
sir, what brings you here on your way to a fine military career?!
-tMP!!
I was drinking at this bar last night, Shooters I think....
and now I'm here!!
----
-theSam!!
God bless the USA,
god bless our Troops,
god bless our President,
-Samuel L Flyinghorse, Hunkpapa Lakota, Standing Rock Sioux Tribe,
Comments