theSam!! Transcript
theSam!! Transcript from theTribalCouncilMtgs!!
-theSam!!
Please be seated,
unlike last month when y’all “beatFeet” when you knew I was going to talk about issues regarding alcohol, drugs, domesticViolence, and speaking of which....
Where’s Al!?
-theSam!!
I’m continuing to closely monitor theChiefs!! emergency millerLite case!!
neither he nor his relatives have come close to it out in theWoods where I’ve set it up out in the open....
ringed by tigerTraps, deadFall spikePole swings, treeSnares and a few bags of WhiteFlour!!
Well......at least everyone living on the same street as theChief!! is taking theUtmost precautions and
preparations,
because.....
I can see them here on this portableHandHeldVideo screen.
they’re all sneaking up on theMillerLiteCase, to include even thePreacherMan!!, the 3 HealthAides and half thePeople that are SUPPOSED TO BE HERE at this meeting today,
sheeeesh.
-theSam!!
I know that, that my place here in theVillage!!, as your VPSO is as popular to you as theFluVirus, asWork,
as theStateTroops!!, even stopSigns at the crossStreets!!
and I appreciate that some of you villageOfficials!! have strongly recommended that my office here in theVillage!! consider PERMANENTLY closing,
but come on!!
I just got here damnit. d:o(
I mean,
Have you ever thought of contingency plans if I DO leave and there’s no one to keep your kids entertained so they have to stay at home?!
Who’s gonna watch them then?!
Who’s gonna over see them as they swim in theRiver!?
Who’s gonna tell you when, it’s too late,
Who’s gonna plug their ears when You scream!?
You can’t go on, thinking, Nothing’s wrong..........
Who‘s gonna drive you home..... tonight
?!
Sorry.
Erha... where was I?!
-theSam!!
yes, yes,
Question from theSleepingVillager!! in the back,
Yes?!
Oh.....
Sure I know that YOU are gonna drive yourself HOME tonight after you leave this boring meeting here and drive down theVillageRoad to go get alcohol next town over!!
Or maybe your kids will, they are going to go with you this time I hope!!
theToddler and theNewborn?!
-theSam!!
I know that many of you here have formally requested a $94,892,392,471,393,792,472,927,492,127,993,412,489.32 emergency funding from,
uh...
from me!!
I can’t handle that last .32cents but I figure that if I stay here long enough as your VPSO to actually see all your g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g Grandkidz’ great-great greatest great great Grrrrrrrrrrrate!! Grankids become sober,
I don’t think I’d still be able to even get that last $89.00 either.
Time will tell though.
Tim will tell!!
Ooops.
Did I just inadvertantly give out the name of my most recent NewsSource here in theVillage!?
-theSam!!
Ok, ok.
I ask everyone here, that when you take the same drunken steps to and fro later tonight when you traipse around theVillage!!
I drive on the RIGHT side of the roads, so please stay to theLEFT and no one will damage my headlights!!
I’ll put the rest of my talk online!!
Y’all no where to find me, just like a few villageChixxx!!
When they need quick cash and I’m feeling like a pushOver and a maroon!! They find me.
lovs,
theSam!!
----
-theSam!!
whom reaches out with GlovedVillageHand,
and gets an inebriateResponse!!
-theSam!!
moving every Villager!! in 100steps, 100 OC spray squirts, 100 batonStrokes,
and occasionally by $100 just to get them to stop begging for Cash so they can get out of his life!!
-theSam!!
his first 100 days he immediately left theVillage!! and went to Urrrp!!
erhh., to Europe.
As in, *Urrhp*, What vomiting, drunken Villagers do after drinking too much, assaulting someone or drinking and driving and then getting into Trouble and Meeting Sam!!
-theSam!!
still incredulous that his First 100Days reportCard was delivered via certified mail on TribalCouncil letterhead,
as opposed to just being wrapped around a rock and hurled through theWindow like the last few villageOfficer’s previous-had said was done to them!!
-theSam!!
who never pays for WhiteTeeth!!
If he ever feels like he will, he just ratchets up thePressure on theDentalTech’s bootLeggingSon & Wife!!
d:oP
-theSam!!
villagePractitioner!! of advancedSpinalSurgery,
albeit, with a GlockPistol, or Remington 870 shotGun with sabotSlugs AND a hapless SledDog’s spine!!
Promising minimal invasive surgery, No hospitalization!!, and sadly. NO Recovery.
-theSam!!
kinda, sorta NOT separating stupid Inet advertisements from legitimate News posts to Spoof!!
-theSam!!
-theSam!!
Please be seated,
unlike last month when y’all “beatFeet” when you knew I was going to talk about issues regarding alcohol, drugs, domesticViolence, and speaking of which....
Where’s Al!?
-theSam!!
I’m continuing to closely monitor theChiefs!! emergency millerLite case!!
neither he nor his relatives have come close to it out in theWoods where I’ve set it up out in the open....
ringed by tigerTraps, deadFall spikePole swings, treeSnares and a few bags of WhiteFlour!!
Well......at least everyone living on the same street as theChief!! is taking theUtmost precautions and
preparations,
because.....
I can see them here on this portableHandHeldVideo screen.
they’re all sneaking up on theMillerLiteCase, to include even thePreacherMan!!, the 3 HealthAides and half thePeople that are SUPPOSED TO BE HERE at this meeting today,
sheeeesh.
-theSam!!
I know that, that my place here in theVillage!!, as your VPSO is as popular to you as theFluVirus, asWork,
as theStateTroops!!, even stopSigns at the crossStreets!!
and I appreciate that some of you villageOfficials!! have strongly recommended that my office here in theVillage!! consider PERMANENTLY closing,
but come on!!
I just got here damnit. d:o(
I mean,
Have you ever thought of contingency plans if I DO leave and there’s no one to keep your kids entertained so they have to stay at home?!
Who’s gonna watch them then?!
Who’s gonna over see them as they swim in theRiver!?
Who’s gonna tell you when, it’s too late,
Who’s gonna plug their ears when You scream!?
You can’t go on, thinking, Nothing’s wrong..........
Who‘s gonna drive you home..... tonight
?!
Sorry.
Erha... where was I?!
-theSam!!
yes, yes,
Question from theSleepingVillager!! in the back,
Yes?!
Oh.....
Sure I know that YOU are gonna drive yourself HOME tonight after you leave this boring meeting here and drive down theVillageRoad to go get alcohol next town over!!
Or maybe your kids will, they are going to go with you this time I hope!!
theToddler and theNewborn?!
-theSam!!
I know that many of you here have formally requested a $94,892,392,471,393,792,472,927,492,127,993,412,489.32 emergency funding from,
uh...
from me!!
I can’t handle that last .32cents but I figure that if I stay here long enough as your VPSO to actually see all your g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g Grandkidz’ great-great greatest great great Grrrrrrrrrrrate!! Grankids become sober,
I don’t think I’d still be able to even get that last $89.00 either.
Time will tell though.
Tim will tell!!
Ooops.
Did I just inadvertantly give out the name of my most recent NewsSource here in theVillage!?
-theSam!!
Ok, ok.
I ask everyone here, that when you take the same drunken steps to and fro later tonight when you traipse around theVillage!!
I drive on the RIGHT side of the roads, so please stay to theLEFT and no one will damage my headlights!!
I’ll put the rest of my talk online!!
Y’all no where to find me, just like a few villageChixxx!!
When they need quick cash and I’m feeling like a pushOver and a maroon!! They find me.
lovs,
theSam!!
----
-theSam!!
whom reaches out with GlovedVillageHand,
and gets an inebriateResponse!!
-theSam!!
moving every Villager!! in 100steps, 100 OC spray squirts, 100 batonStrokes,
and occasionally by $100 just to get them to stop begging for Cash so they can get out of his life!!
-theSam!!
his first 100 days he immediately left theVillage!! and went to Urrrp!!
erhh., to Europe.
As in, *Urrhp*, What vomiting, drunken Villagers do after drinking too much, assaulting someone or drinking and driving and then getting into Trouble and Meeting Sam!!
-theSam!!
still incredulous that his First 100Days reportCard was delivered via certified mail on TribalCouncil letterhead,
as opposed to just being wrapped around a rock and hurled through theWindow like the last few villageOfficer’s previous-had said was done to them!!
-theSam!!
who never pays for WhiteTeeth!!
If he ever feels like he will, he just ratchets up thePressure on theDentalTech’s bootLeggingSon & Wife!!
d:oP
-theSam!!
villagePractitioner!! of advancedSpinalSurgery,
albeit, with a GlockPistol, or Remington 870 shotGun with sabotSlugs AND a hapless SledDog’s spine!!
Promising minimal invasive surgery, No hospitalization!!, and sadly. NO Recovery.
-theSam!!
kinda, sorta NOT separating stupid Inet advertisements from legitimate News posts to Spoof!!
-theSam!!
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