Facts About our Boy Sam!!

theFacts About our BoySam!!

theSam!! Official Bird,
Flip-Offus from theEndofTarmigan

theSam!!'s most elusive of game birds found in just about any region of theState!! where theSam!! visits.

This "bird" is small, pure Native white
(that color being even more Blinding-White than ANY Caucasian on thePlanet)
and it is unknown exactly what this bird eats.

Though this small game bird can often be seen holding Cigarettes, Cigars, Alcohol and then can just as quickly "Pop" up from theEnd of the Arm (again) and vanish when seen upon OTHER people,

theSam!! is just as quick to enunciate theFact!! that "his" lil ptarmigan can often be found typing on theKeyboard to Internet, holding an Violin bow daily for Practice,

can often be found fingering chords on a Guitar and most importantly can often be found wrapped around an Vanilla Steamer w/WhippedCream from Koladis coffee.

You'll often find these Other rare game birds out in theVillages!!, where they belong.

theSam!! Official Flower / Flour
theForget-Me-Now, also known as, "Who!?"

Sam!!'s official flower of the day is often Blue with a Heart of Gold,
One time she was Blonde with a Badge of Gold, eye's of blue, pink satin..... *ahem*

Look for her,, er.
Look for them fishing along the banks of our State streams, ponds and brooks.

Look for them patrolling around in uniform, be respectful when they fill out your Citations!!
and look for them sitting precariously upon Mall kiosk chairs filing their young acrylic nailed hands while blatantly ignoring patient customers standing close by.

Be very very Patient!!, she'll bat her lush lashes and you'll wait another 15mins anyway.

Look for them handing out various blends of coffee and cookies throughout theCity!!
Complement them upon their stylish Eyeglasses and theCool Tats upon lower Tummy and lower back.

Look for theHair-in-Your-Pizza!! as she delivers your Medium extra crispy crust, Cheese Artery clogger to you at work, No, I'm not kidding, Really, look for her.

Remind her that she's one week overdue for a Touchup of Honey-Gold highlights to her tresses!!
She'll get theMessage.

Look for them in theValleys and foothills of theState too.
They'll be smiling as they camp in theWoods and hike across theGlaciers.

And if you look closely at theOnes sitting down and out with Children and dead-ended in Life upon theBus transit benches,

you'll find that these tattered Violets are just as beautiful as the more Visible & working flowers.

And lastly,
don't forget to say hello to theFlours in theVillage,
theStone ground, filtered kind,

even to thePremium blended sacks and theBags of fine White left sitting forgotten upon theShelfs of theVillage!!'s

they're waiting for YOU to find them, to buy them and add eggs, sugar, butter, vanilla
4 bags of chocolate chips!! etc to them.

They wait for you to whip, stir and plop their hopes and dreams onto your lifes bake sheet and to temper them in theOven at 375 for 10mins at least.

Mehh.. at least theGood cookies that last will stay around for a couple of days at least, and they'll provide theMilk!!

Don't forget those forgotten Flours at all please, they don't need to be wasted by being angrily thrown around theHouse and swept up into theTrash.

theSam!! Official Gem
theJadedheart

I'm sure that Everyone in State has had one of these Keepers.
In fact, theState has theLargest deposit of JadedHearts in any of the50 contiguous states especially in theCitys and out in theRural Interior.

Many beautiful Village!! sweethearts are by far theMost rare and lovely of these gems.
They're small at birth and magically grow up into a multi-faceted, multi-personalitied VillageChick!! by age 12.

They're harder than diamonds, stronger than steel and yet VillageLife!! cuts them, shapes them and angles their bodies and minds into exquisite objects worthy of any Artisans creation status and adulation.

If you come upon one of these Precious gems, take good care of them.
Love them, protect them and let them be themselves.

And if you find that You Are a Jadedheart, be glad that you stand amongst so rare an species.
for Tough times are ahead for us all and heroes will be needed,

strong individuals that were forged from Pressure, Want & Sacrifice, not thrill seeking and wantonness & selfishness.

6 to 8 Personalities within theUniform!!

1. theArcticRegion
this region basically includes most of theNorthern upper two thirds of theSam!!

As theName and description implies. We'll start from atop theSam!! looking down at....
at pretty much everyone. At an towering 6 foot 1inch, or when he styles his long hair up and back-at an 6 foot 4 inch!!

This Arctic Region was at one time a Sparse dead zone devoid of Ticks, fleas, Headlice, dry scalp flakes, dandruff, etc. Back when theBoy!! once was an uniformed VPSO and wore his hair High&Tight!!

Average room temps of theNoggin' are +72F and up to +80F when a hot Chick!! is present.
Average day time temps for theCranium!! are -30F in Winter while Outside and often in the Upper 70's during summer.

It goes without saying, that this region of Sam!! is amongst theMostExtreme of environs cos the
silly man just hates any type of headgear.

Aside from recently being ear cuffed and hand slapped just this last Winter by an concerned female Officer after seeing theSam!! without cap or gloves, this Arctic region remains for the most part Undisturbed.

This Arctic region is home to Two small beady black eyes helped in their Vision quests to seeing theWorld around him by an worn pair of Glasses.

there are two Ears, large appendages to help hear theWorld around him and lastly,
theObtrusive presence of an infamous landmark known theWorld over, theLakota Schnozz!!

this Divine appendage was celebrated in an old time favorite movie that Sam!! saw one time,
of SteveMartin sporting an Pinochio-esque Nose.

theSam!!'s divine olfactory detection is set to pickup up the minute particles of;
"Food", "sweet perfume and musky fragrances", theHeady!! hunger inducing, heart racing odor of "white-girl whom just worked out and hasn't yet taken a shower!!",

*bites Fist!!*

and lastly, the smell of Fear, Anger and Strife.
As these Emotions and events do permeate areas where such happenings take place, and are
just as real as thePeople who take part.

We'll skip the small Heart-shaped red lips.
they're still chapped from being outside 10hrs a stretch since theCold winds of winter first blew in Anchorage last Nov 2006, and theSecurity!! had to walk to work & back to theApt.

We'll ammend this post later on when they feel like talking.
Until then, they'll be Nibbled on, sucked fat by a few girls that love Him!!

This Northern Arctic Region of theSam!! is often known to rapidly Inflate well beyond Ego size proportions once in a blue moon, an annoying trait inherited from being around one to many Naval Flight Officers, Naval ship Officers, SpecWar Operators and a few Police too.

No known species currently exist upon theCranium!! as of this typing,
no life-form can live upon theScalp or hair that is daily washed by irritating Lather and soaked in Hair-Gel that holds theDo!! very still even in Wind-tunnel velocity winds!!

Once theSam!! experienced an itching an burning of theCrown,
and once even spotted a small tiny object orbiting his Noggin'.

Perhaps that burning was because the Then-Current life forms discovered how to s;lit theAtom!! and did some underground testing!?

Then they built space ships and blasted off into theUnknown?!, or perhaps they just discovered Space flight. who knows?!

2. theLeftern Region
as this Name implies, this area includes theUpper Deltoid, eehm...
Starting from theCoracoid process and out past theBicep are and into the 5 little Peninsula-like phalanges.

Summers and Winters are often Hoodie-shirted at least, except for theYear 2000 / 2001 Winter when just a T-shirt was worn outside for a few months.

More populated areas of theLeftern Region include thePalmer area and thePhalanges when ever some Village!! hooligans needs some School-igans in Not doing Shenanigans and other TomFoolery!!, then thePopulation of theLefternRegion becomes One / 1 / Unos.

Other times theLefternRegion becomes home of theVillageChixxx!! and thus theEntire region then wraps around and squeezes / hugs snuggly!!

Oft-times, theArea percentile of each VillageChick!! is 40% to 270%bigger on theMass index than theLefternRegion

*Bites Fist!!*

Just a few Minor wrist sprains, pulls from Sports, overall Aches and Pains have been seismically active in theLefternRegion.

There was that one cold Winter in 2001, just 3 months before attending theSitka Academy when in an Warmth enducing state while standing upon theLonely Village Road, in theSubzero temps of Winter, waiting for an marked vehicle to come by for Drug / Alcohol Interdiction related work,

theSupraspinatus muscle & Bicep (at theCoracoid proces attachment) were pulled while exercising, pushups were difficult ever after and still are, but theLefternRegion!! has pulled together and healed since then.

(theRight Region & outlying phalanges is pretty much described in the above paragraphs too)

3. theSouthernRegion!!

These 3....
2 straights are theLongest and Narrowest of theSam!!'s regions.

Both Peninsula's extend beyond 38" to Terra Firma.
From that, extend theSize 11 to 13 JackBootedness!
(Boot size depends on Name brand and 1 sock? or 2)

These two regions, like theArcticRegion, are also prone to excessive climes and temps when outside.

An double Oddity exists along these twin peninsulas,
rising up at an sharp angle below theQuadriceps or Thighs is thePatellar Peaks.

Their knobbiness thwarts all esthetic value placed upon theSam!!'s legged peninsulas.
They're almost as big as theSchnozz, but more flat and round.

And in theVillage!! these landmarks were under severe stress occasionally from delivering Solar-Plex strikes, kneeling to aid theSupine / bloody Victims of SA / DVE's and to look small toddlers in theEye and when kneeling to speak to and hear words from an Respected Village Elder.

also, much time was spent in supplication to God for patience and understanding, for help in such sacred work as Village Public Safety.

Because when various Villagers cry and kneel, and fall & grab onto & around theKnees for help and thankfulness. It makes theLonely job of Public Safety endurable.

And small children also run up and grab theKnobby knees too.

4. theInterior Region!!

Much can be said about theInterior regions of theSam!!

Much has been done TO theInterior region as of late.

Inner core temps have been recorded as high as 104 F to an Yawningly low of 98.5

This part of theBody!! is home to various objects of value when He's fully dressed.
When he's suited / armored up in Ballistic vest he's got LEO tools, weapons, Food!!
all stashed inside theVest.

This is what I meant earlier when I stated-6 to 8 Personalities within theSam!!

See, at one time when I wore coveralls and had extra pocket room in my Vest.
Some enterprising VillageChixxx!! decided to hide out in my pockets and inside my Vest.

At first, they'd put their hands in and would hope to extract wallets, $ / Money, car keys from confiscated vehicles, confiscated alcohol that I kept etc.

But they'd often just withdraw theHands!! full of pocket litter; used candy wrappers, gobs of lint, spare change, etc.

But theGirls kept trying and soon were inside thePockets, inside theVests and inside my Life completely.

For the longest time I couldn't figure out where my boxes of Pop-tarts and boxed milk were going to, certainly not to my stomach, and then I felt movement in my Vest.

One youngChick!! was listening to my CD player and slam dancing with her friends.

*sigh*

One time some school kids went missing for 2 days.
this was after we had gone swimming at theRiver at end of Sept.

I dipped in theRiver fully clothed and then warmed up by theBonfire theKids had built from my undelivered Court appearances manilla folders, from my Arrest Citations that I had not delivered to TrooperOversight, etc.

And then I continued on with my two days.
I left some duffle bags in thePatrol vehicle and then later one night, did recieve telephone calls
about my duty vehicle "driving" round theVillage!! with no Driver!1

Everyone was scared of this.
So I went walking and found theDutyVehicle and spotted two kids clambering back into one
duffle bag.

*sigh*

So that is where the Extra personalities come from, from theStowAways in my war bags, in my Gearbags and from theVillageChixxx!! in my pockets.

Other monikers bestowed upon theInterior!! of theSam!! have been;

theLower 48!!,
in making light of any apparent weight gains I have made.
Nope, still a svelte 40" !!

theTargetMarket!!
an honorary title bestowed upon me, and quite frankly-to any Other VPSO,
by VillageChixxx!! pointing out the fact that if you Target theHeart,
you'll get theMoney and will be able to buy anything you want at Supermarket!!

Even some Villagemen?? have aimed for theHeart!!, one aimed for theHead!!
and thank God that none of them pulled theTrigger on me, I still think of those days
but have gotten past theFear of what might have been.

Each day after those events was a gift, Life is too short to worry about thePast.
Live damnit!!

5. theNorthern BackCountry & theSouthland!!

In closing this posting, let's just say that, I carry great responsibility upon One, also having been tested and tried at theHands and Diamond Willow canes of several Village Elders.

And.... for theLatter,
Yoouuu don' wanna be around me when I get mad at you and eat a few bowls of Granola and milk, especially warm milk!!

luvs,
theSam!!

this short Factoid piece about our BoySam!! has been brought to you by;
-AcademyRoom A-5!!,

-the Numbers of VPSO Class 29!! and from Badge # 51!!

and any number of ways to say to theVPSO
that his Flag is flying in "stiff" breeze,
his Dogs are out!!,
Collapse your baton!!,
Jail that Criminal!!,
At 3 a.m. theSun is STILL out!!,
etc.

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