Slinging Coffee at ChipMunk speed!!
-BaristaSam!!
by Shift end, he’s talking at theSpeed!! of a Chipmunk
-BaristaSam!!
by Shift end, even theRelatives of methHeads are watching him and taking CleaningTips notes!!
-BaristaSam!!
looking to start up a CoffeeVenture shop and name it, “Has Beans!!” (has been)
Rumor has it that it’ll be staffed with, You Guessed it, “HasBeens!!”
-BaristaSam!!
not only a realLife person, not only a silly Nickname too, just mostly a complete Noodle in a GreenApron and black BallCap!!
-BaristaSam!!
mostly working PartTime, while being clockedIn half theTime!!, and never working at ANY time,
but still wondering when’s BreakTime!?
-BaristaSam!!
whom guarantees You’ll be JibberJabber!! in two sips from your Espresso’d Up cup!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom might forget to record in detail, sales items by event, but never failing to record number of Pastries “accidently dropped and later on....Eaten!!”
-BaristaSam!!
of whom it can be said, that theGrocerStore managementTeam is literally Counting on Him!!
Samuel!!, Samuel!!, put down that pastry....
One!!, Two!!, Three!!,
Now go back to theKiosk and empty those Trash receptacles........
and we don’t mean to shake out lil’ Mochas pockets and to dump theLearningCoach’s purse either.
-BaristaSam!!
whom literally puts Himself into his work,
Greeting customers, Sampling out products to customers, Making selling suggestions and Engaging his Customers!!
One chick’s baby is due the27th!!,
“Can’t wait to get it out of me”
she says each time she visits theFather!! at theKiosk.......
-BaristaSam!!
whom wants to be Tied-tied-tied-tied-Tied!! to his OWN AprongStrings!!
-BaristaSam!!
since his DMO / Dummo!! days, he’s able to Set any KD / KnockDown table with Samples, Resale StockingStuffers, Christmas blend in the$t@rB\/cK$ zone,
but then that one fateful December day when he asked Ms Verona to Sample out while she wore her ServerGirl!! stockings she stuffed herself into and wore a Wig to be Christmas “Blonde”-she introduced shoppers to her own G-Zone.
-BaristaSam!!
sneaking pumps of Classic, Vanilla, PumkinSpice and even OldSpice!! into his 5ths of Vodka at work!!
Being 5 bucks!! nice is easy.
It’s just that being so nice after theBuzz!! has worn off every 2 hours that’s so hard to do on even theSlowest days.
-BaristaSam!!
he can be an ASS sometimes!!
Active Sampling and Selling!! d:oP
-BaristaSam!!
of whom it can be said,
that he’s theToken!! minority, theDisabledVeteran!! (and on days when he’s so wound up on Caffiene as to induce Stammering and stuttering Staccato syllables)
he’s also theMental!! employee ALL wrapped up in ONE person
Have fun!!, It’s theHolidaze!!
-BaristaSam!!
engage and Sell damnit!!
Don’t just stand there and whip out your smallNailClippers and Pretend to Manicure your Ladies you’re charming theSocks-Off-Of!! as you talk with them,
wait.. wait.....
If it’ll keep you from thinking you’re a Farrier and stepping in Close to theChicks and lifting up their feet, whippingOFF their shoes / Heels and going to town on their Toes
Please,
hold hands as long as you want to!!
We’ll understand.
-BaristaSam!!
leaving theLids!! off theBatchGroundCoffee “On purpose”,
to cover up theOff gassing from drinking Vodka theWeek previous!!
-BaristaSam!!
whos OWN private collection of 5Bucks!! beverage TrioSamples includes:
SailorJerry’s 99ProofRum!!,
any kind of $4 onSale WhiteWine!!
and theMost Recent sweet Mocha Beverage that “accidently became a Mistake cos it just looked so good while I was makin’ it”
ooohhhh k!!
-BaristaSam!!
Sampling Kiosk food & beverage not only “IN” theZone (inside theKiosk), but “OUTSIDE” theZone as well!!
(in back of theGrocerStore while tossing out Trash into theCompactor, On his way home walking past McDonalds!! or even at his Mtn View apt!!)
-BaristaSam!!
some “Legendary” 5 Bucks!! things are Only Available at our fine coffeeKiosks!!
fortunately, theSam!! isn’t one of them, for now, he’s available ONLY in Anchorage, AK!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom, even when sneaking up behind thePotHead shoppers from theValley and literally blending IN with them as they Grocer shop and graze theAisles, (due to his Wearing of his Green 5 Bucks!! Barista Apron)
can often be found hiding in Produce by theCucumbers and Celery, or sneaking past theWatermelon, but lately,
has been harrassingFloral!! girls by hiding out in their cutStems arrangements and catCalling them all shiftLong!!
Grocer store management is thinking of somehow spiking theSam!!’s coffee samples so his Veneered teeth will “Yellow” much faster so he can be spotted easier.
-BaristaSam!!
never one to scrutinize an $20 bill or even an $50 or an $100 bill UNTIL presented with thus by an incredibly Cute!!, perky young attractive Woman at Kiosk after she buys a $4.75 beverage!!
......unless,
Unless said cute, curvy Fox is distracted by no less than 4 active Toddlers in her care!!
Then it’s like,
Sam!! will take that Money so fast and make change with it, but NEVER EVER touch it!!
-BaristaSam!!
ask Not, how much can YOU sell for your Kiosk, but how much “dropped Pastries” your Kiosk can provide for YOU!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom has explored theInert SOOOO much!!
that when you mention, setting Kiosk Displays to “theSirens” eye!! to him.
He’s thinking of an upClose camShot of an Black billiard Ball slowly gaping a pink sphincter belonging to an heavyHoobered hot Latexed Angel!!
d:oP
-BaristaSam!!
whos Kiosk is not only stuffed with samples of fine Pastry!!
But STAFFED with tasty Pasty white Goth samples of Partners!!
-BaristaSam!!
who’s WholeBean coffee sales are highest in late fall to early March only because people Up in theValley!! are busy hunkered down in their hidden Pot grows and literally staying Up days on end being Hydroponic!!
-BaristaSam!!
it’s not so much a question of “how much coffee beverage can you sell”
but a matter of- after another energy draining, customer complaining day and of taking great blows to SelfEsteem and selfWorth, Self-Image and what not- How much 151 rum can you Drink!?
-BaristaSam!!
d:oP
--------------------
-AlaskaVillageTales!!
choosing not only a former publicSafetyOfficer that loves to criminalCorrect!!,
but whom also loves to BaristaConnect!!
lovs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, AK
by Shift end, he’s talking at theSpeed!! of a Chipmunk
-BaristaSam!!
by Shift end, even theRelatives of methHeads are watching him and taking CleaningTips notes!!
-BaristaSam!!
looking to start up a CoffeeVenture shop and name it, “Has Beans!!” (has been)
Rumor has it that it’ll be staffed with, You Guessed it, “HasBeens!!”
-BaristaSam!!
not only a realLife person, not only a silly Nickname too, just mostly a complete Noodle in a GreenApron and black BallCap!!
-BaristaSam!!
mostly working PartTime, while being clockedIn half theTime!!, and never working at ANY time,
but still wondering when’s BreakTime!?
-BaristaSam!!
whom guarantees You’ll be JibberJabber!! in two sips from your Espresso’d Up cup!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom might forget to record in detail, sales items by event, but never failing to record number of Pastries “accidently dropped and later on....Eaten!!”
-BaristaSam!!
of whom it can be said, that theGrocerStore managementTeam is literally Counting on Him!!
Samuel!!, Samuel!!, put down that pastry....
One!!, Two!!, Three!!,
Now go back to theKiosk and empty those Trash receptacles........
and we don’t mean to shake out lil’ Mochas pockets and to dump theLearningCoach’s purse either.
-BaristaSam!!
whom literally puts Himself into his work,
Greeting customers, Sampling out products to customers, Making selling suggestions and Engaging his Customers!!
One chick’s baby is due the27th!!,
“Can’t wait to get it out of me”
she says each time she visits theFather!! at theKiosk.......
-BaristaSam!!
whom wants to be Tied-tied-tied-tied-Tied!! to his OWN AprongStrings!!
-BaristaSam!!
since his DMO / Dummo!! days, he’s able to Set any KD / KnockDown table with Samples, Resale StockingStuffers, Christmas blend in the$t@rB\/cK$ zone,
but then that one fateful December day when he asked Ms Verona to Sample out while she wore her ServerGirl!! stockings she stuffed herself into and wore a Wig to be Christmas “Blonde”-she introduced shoppers to her own G-Zone.
-BaristaSam!!
sneaking pumps of Classic, Vanilla, PumkinSpice and even OldSpice!! into his 5ths of Vodka at work!!
Being 5 bucks!! nice is easy.
It’s just that being so nice after theBuzz!! has worn off every 2 hours that’s so hard to do on even theSlowest days.
-BaristaSam!!
he can be an ASS sometimes!!
Active Sampling and Selling!! d:oP
-BaristaSam!!
of whom it can be said,
that he’s theToken!! minority, theDisabledVeteran!! (and on days when he’s so wound up on Caffiene as to induce Stammering and stuttering Staccato syllables)
he’s also theMental!! employee ALL wrapped up in ONE person
Have fun!!, It’s theHolidaze!!
-BaristaSam!!
engage and Sell damnit!!
Don’t just stand there and whip out your smallNailClippers and Pretend to Manicure your Ladies you’re charming theSocks-Off-Of!! as you talk with them,
wait.. wait.....
If it’ll keep you from thinking you’re a Farrier and stepping in Close to theChicks and lifting up their feet, whippingOFF their shoes / Heels and going to town on their Toes
Please,
hold hands as long as you want to!!
We’ll understand.
-BaristaSam!!
leaving theLids!! off theBatchGroundCoffee “On purpose”,
to cover up theOff gassing from drinking Vodka theWeek previous!!
-BaristaSam!!
whos OWN private collection of 5Bucks!! beverage TrioSamples includes:
SailorJerry’s 99ProofRum!!,
any kind of $4 onSale WhiteWine!!
and theMost Recent sweet Mocha Beverage that “accidently became a Mistake cos it just looked so good while I was makin’ it”
ooohhhh k!!
-BaristaSam!!
Sampling Kiosk food & beverage not only “IN” theZone (inside theKiosk), but “OUTSIDE” theZone as well!!
(in back of theGrocerStore while tossing out Trash into theCompactor, On his way home walking past McDonalds!! or even at his Mtn View apt!!)
-BaristaSam!!
some “Legendary” 5 Bucks!! things are Only Available at our fine coffeeKiosks!!
fortunately, theSam!! isn’t one of them, for now, he’s available ONLY in Anchorage, AK!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom, even when sneaking up behind thePotHead shoppers from theValley and literally blending IN with them as they Grocer shop and graze theAisles, (due to his Wearing of his Green 5 Bucks!! Barista Apron)
can often be found hiding in Produce by theCucumbers and Celery, or sneaking past theWatermelon, but lately,
has been harrassingFloral!! girls by hiding out in their cutStems arrangements and catCalling them all shiftLong!!
Grocer store management is thinking of somehow spiking theSam!!’s coffee samples so his Veneered teeth will “Yellow” much faster so he can be spotted easier.
-BaristaSam!!
never one to scrutinize an $20 bill or even an $50 or an $100 bill UNTIL presented with thus by an incredibly Cute!!, perky young attractive Woman at Kiosk after she buys a $4.75 beverage!!
......unless,
Unless said cute, curvy Fox is distracted by no less than 4 active Toddlers in her care!!
Then it’s like,
Sam!! will take that Money so fast and make change with it, but NEVER EVER touch it!!
-BaristaSam!!
ask Not, how much can YOU sell for your Kiosk, but how much “dropped Pastries” your Kiosk can provide for YOU!!
-BaristaSam!!
whom has explored theInert SOOOO much!!
that when you mention, setting Kiosk Displays to “theSirens” eye!! to him.
He’s thinking of an upClose camShot of an Black billiard Ball slowly gaping a pink sphincter belonging to an heavyHoobered hot Latexed Angel!!
d:oP
-BaristaSam!!
whos Kiosk is not only stuffed with samples of fine Pastry!!
But STAFFED with tasty Pasty white Goth samples of Partners!!
-BaristaSam!!
who’s WholeBean coffee sales are highest in late fall to early March only because people Up in theValley!! are busy hunkered down in their hidden Pot grows and literally staying Up days on end being Hydroponic!!
-BaristaSam!!
it’s not so much a question of “how much coffee beverage can you sell”
but a matter of- after another energy draining, customer complaining day and of taking great blows to SelfEsteem and selfWorth, Self-Image and what not- How much 151 rum can you Drink!?
-BaristaSam!!
d:oP
--------------------
-AlaskaVillageTales!!
choosing not only a former publicSafetyOfficer that loves to criminalCorrect!!,
but whom also loves to BaristaConnect!!
lovs,
theSam!!
SLFlyinghorse
Anchorage, AK
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