theSam!!: Rated Village Worstestest!!-estest

Rated Worst!!

-theSam!!
Still TWICE theSize of everyone else!!
Even though he’s losing weight at theAKClub,

-theSam!!
Still theOne!! with theWorst teeth,

even though the front set have been Veneered and special cleansing paste with 3 extra Refills have been issued to theSweetToothedOne!!

-theSam!!
trying to figure out how to tell his MySpaced!! friends how much he’s had a tough week!!

-theSam!!
BaristaBoi!! papers revealed!!,
then quietly shoved “back” underneath theMess!! in his apt

-theSam!!
He’s just Not that Into you!!
.....Unless you’re female, Incredibly cute and you’re a Coffee regular of his!!

-theSam!!
KioskReport!!,
BaristaBoiSam!!’s venti plastic cup suffers meltdown under hot water spigot!!

-theSam!!
thePlayed!!boi, knocking on theGirls!! door, hoping she’s wearing a “kini”

d:oP

-theSam!!
theShipWreck amidst theWhaleTail!! clash,

ok, ok.....

theOLDNavy was actually cleaning off theDeliTables where everyone eats and these two cute sisters, sporting Tatted WhaleTails!! were arguing at one table.

so sue me!!

-theSam!!
whom often says to himself,
“like, omg, theBrits are coming!!”, whenever some Repeats to his CoffeeKiosk are headed his way.

and when some youngGirls are gum-clacking their way to him he says,
“like, OMG!!, theBRATS!! are coming”

*then Bobbles his ballCapped head*

-theSam!!
still mocking himself for laughs!!,

watch out,
You’re next.

-theSam!!
author / blogologist!! / and unemployedBaristaBoy!!, Sounds off on his “Sanity”

-theSam!!
Still rated completely worstest!! in 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005
in fact,

ALL theWay back to 1967!!

If you wanna rate him worstest before that,
You’re gonna have to speak to a little, Mean Old woman about that one (Mama!!)

-theSam!!
able to comply COMPLETELY with all “Barista help Wanted” requirements except for One thing,

he still can’t “bridge build” like theFlexible girls

though he can Mash theManBoobs together quick as any endowedMILF!! erh... Milk!! (mother I’d like to Knead!!) d:oP

-theSam!!
exstatic that his “WildeVines” Zinfendel w/ Raspberry flavor was only $6 but was completely disappointed that it’s only 6% alcohol by volume,

but at least theLatest Hoobered girlfriend has an .18BAC by volume!! d:oD

-theSam!!
still celebrating 40.........

“24” yrs of StateHood!!
and lately, he’s been completely “Inebriate” after work,
and wearing a “hoodie”

-theSam!!
d:oD
----------------

theSam!!

Samuel L Flyinghorse
Anchorage, AK

AlaskaVillageTales

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