AlaskaVillageTales

theSam!! no Longer Acting dumb, he just IS!! theSam!! now hitting Blog Post 130!, which is actually his ideal bodyweight. theSam!! preferring instead to let theBread dough do all theRising above!! theSam!! now locally owned and operated!! darn girlfriends.... theSam!! now Tax and Duty free after this weekend..... at least until theNext Job starts!! Village Haiku!! - Alone in Village Dividend checks in the Mail Stampede to get Out!! - why God why Me Now? Ice shoulders bare, Truth I see Nancy has my teeth. - Call for good time now try free 30 days to see Good Village for Sale!! - Love is on the Rocks she wants to be Shaken now everybody Clap!! - Yo yo Sam, they call In theHouse, Out and around! marionette boy!! - Two ton Village girl whale of good time, Aren’t they looking for you North?! - face down or face up dollar $igns corneal lens you $tare, Call me Ben!! - Your smokey halo wraps your fingers pitched hard into my face - DVE , SA VPSO VPO God I hate letters - 5 Sacred colors...

Summer Sale "Summer" is here in Alaska and we at YVC Inc (doh!!) wish to draw your attention to theWonderful new products we now have at theLobby Boutique stores. ...well....they're not "new", nor is it really "we now have" per se, Actually they've always been there just sitting and collecting dust, kind of like our Boutique staff!!, and speaking of "drawing". that Chalk outline!! on the carpet floor next to theWinterApparel rack is still there!! .........after 8 yrs. theRobbery, theShooting, theVandalizing of theLobby store by theManagement. *SIGH* at least theVictim didn't stay there on theFloor 8 yrs. Anywho. On with telling all of you about theSales we have going on. * BoyBeaterz / GirlBeaterz T-shirt for Kidz!! Front: motive "VillageTuff", or “Village Angel” Back: YVCInc (doh!!) background logo in DVE black & blue and your Home village name in "Homebrew" yellow Material: 100% uncombed cotton (boys) and 1...

98 Days of Sam!! even some Villagers!! are starting to rejoice in this Countdown. It's like an New Years Eve celebration or an countdown to sending someone (most likely Me!!) off somewhere else. Little do they know that I'm staying put!! Completely Kaput!! in theVillage, I'll be here to stay for about, oh.. say, 2.5 yrs!! And that 2 point 5 is being generous, when I've actually stayed in theVillage!! 2 yrs 8 months. A little over 3 individual VillageChicks!! enduring 3 Trimesters each!! would be the Official count, give or take an extra week or two of Morning Sickness and just plain out Nausea that I'M even there amongst them and ... and.. (what!?) I'm just making an observation in "Village-speak" that everyone can easily understand. I could say that "She puts theLime in theCoconut" and heads would nod and tongues would wag in agreement that she was certainly doing.... doing.... ok. I don't know what that means about putting theL in theC...

126 Posts and counting!! "Incredible, just incredible, I mean, Would you look at that!?" fumed theHired!!'s former Farm boss in SouthDakota. "When I hired him to fix theBarbedWire fences, he never even got past '3' Posts before sitting down for Lunch or else to Nap". 99 Days of Sam!! Just think of him as an Giant bottle, take him down, pass him around (No I don't want him!!) 99 Days of Sam!! eh.. er.. Left!! -------------------- Soft Wood I sat up quickly and glanced at theClock on theNightstand, 0235hrs There was no need to turn theLamp on as I always kept it burning during theWinter hours when I was in theVillage, Seeing theLight from afar during the long dark winter months made some Villagers feel at ease to know that their VPSO was present in case they needed him. I felt movement within theLodge, where I stayed, and by now just weeks into the new Public Safety job this new sensation that tugged at me was very familiar. After my 2 yr Church mi...

the100 Days of Sam!!....... are here again, (again!!) But first, more Ripped from theHeadlines!! Villagenews that's fit to print?, fit to Embellish and fit to be Tied!! Law&DisOrder!! character Actor aims for VPSO's house and misses!! Famed Village actor and former MayorFred will offend himself as an Downhome antidote to thePublicSafety's quirky sense of humor amongst theVillagers!! Fred promises to run his grass-Roots campaign right out of town, just like theVPSO runs HIM out of town every weekend.........straight to Jail!! "Only this time, I won't be so drunk", hiccupped Fred. As for theMissing of theVPSO's domicile, How could he?! It's a big house and Fred's car is an old Buick Skylark, just aim for theFront porch and hit the gas pedal!! VILLAGE VANIT Village beauty Tess likes to putter around theVillage!! in her new Escalade. For her it's never enough to up theAnte regarding herVanity, not to mention her appeal to all theGuys. Past Van...

WARRIORS GATE At theAirport earlier today there was tons of traffic rolling through theTerminal Ramps. It was my day off but I was earning Over Time pay, so for once I was happier about working. I saw theHearse and, at first I thought it was a commercial Limo vehicle, but no. It was a hearse. And it was parked in theCenter lane, and another pickup was parked behind it, a soldier walked quickly from thePickup up to theHearse. Oh no... a Soldier is inconvenienced by theHearse blocking him and he's going to yell at theHearse driver....Or so I thought. As at theAirport, this very thing happens about ever two days, various drivers ticking each other off and arguing with each other if not arguing with US security. But this situation was different.theSoldier was speaking quietly with theHearse driver and as I stepped up to listen to theConversationI looked in back of theHearse, looked past theDrivers shoulders and observed an American Flag-draped Coffin. A soldier was on his way home an...

Well, summer is here and once again theChain Lodges and Resorts lift their ugly heads and wake up from slumber to once again welcome theHordes of Terroris... I mean, Tourists!! But before theTango's arrived, theKidz!! were here first, via planes trains & automobiles and Thumbs!! I found these Signs on theNet, and like all things Cordial, I just gave them an AlaskanTwist!! Signs that You're an AlaskanPrincess!! Employee aka Signs You're a Drunk!! - You lose arguments with inanimate objects. to Include the 0400hrs yelling match with the 90" plasma screen in Employee housing Lounge, theBookcase full of novels and Monday mornings shoving match with NightSecurity's parked pickup truck. although we would technically classify HR, PayRoll and theLeadMgr as "Inanimate" too we advise you to cease any arguing with them at 2000hrs, 2330hrs, 0200hrs, 0400hrs and 0600hrs respectively. - You believe that spilling a beer is Alcohol abuse. and you still haven't ...

theSam!!, still Crazy After All These Years!! ........erh Did we mention that he's also Unemployed too!? theSam!! doing unto Villagers what he certainly hopes will never be done to Him!! theSam!! more fun than a Night in Jail!! His Nasally Whine is non Alcoholic Yet oddly enough, you keep hearing it and you keep drinking. theSam!! still not sure if theUpperBout and theLowerBout has anything to do with anatomy of his Violin and more to do with an DVE/domestic violence event at theTop (north end) of theVillage!! or towards theBottom (south end) of theVillage!! theSam!! still not sure if theTailpiece!! has anything to do with anatomy of his Violin and more to do with a well rounded posterior of any cute VillageChick!! Spankable!! theSam!! still Lazy after all these Years preferring instead, to just spray interior of theHouse with OC and step outside waiting for theCoughing Misdemeanants to run out into his waiting, everlasting, Loving arms!! preferring instead to Not Chase any fle...

More Village Sloganz theSam!! powered by PopTarts & BoxMilk!! Motivated by good clean living Villagers theSam!! if Hating him is wrong, no one wants to be Right!! theSam!! like a Bug on theWindshield of Village!! theSam!! his Rep & Results can’t be Beat!! Just his Villagers theSam!! theRealThing!! and while we’re at it, he’s really annoying too!! really weird, really dumb, really stupid and I mean.. really!! come on!! theSam!! making Village!! dreams come true for theLast 2.5 yrs, but only if you aspire to spend hours on end in Custody in Cuffs!! and then to spend a few weeks or a few years in Jail!! theSam!! there is no Life without theSam!! he’s nonstop entertainment. I mean, you shoulda’ heard him at last months VillageCouncil meeting expecting us to help out in keeping alcohol out of theVillage!!, and then there was the time when.......... theSam!! making sure that Your Future is shiny and bright........per every 1.5million candle power SpotLight he uses each month!! theSam...

Originally I had saved this on the server for a few weeks but some of it got erased. So I ended up posting newer materials. I was going to go with this theme here; theAlaskanPrincess!!, theHot msCelebrityCoozeLines, theGorgeous Ms IcelandicTours and theSam!! fistfight at theAirport!! (ohh.... and a few girls from Baggage too!!) But I'm no longer working at theAirport and quite frankly, I don't care to think of that place anymore. So I'm going ahead and posting some Help Wanted descriptions that thePrincess!! herself penned for me to post. I looked at her young face, noted some fresh Impact scrapes and blemishes upon one side of her beautiful Native face and she just winked at me and socked me in the arm!! she might be a small cute gal, but she packs twice her weight in a LoveTap!! Ok.. So my scribblings of job descriptions and what not began from this CURRENT OPENINGS AT theALASKANPRINCESS Lodges. Meets, greets, seats and serves guests and if necessary-Beats guests with Spo...