AlaskaVillageTales

I posted this in RecoveryFromMormonism boards and got a few responses to my Lightmindedness!! ---------------------- Subject: Favorite Hymnals straight from theGreenBook!! Date: May 23 16:32 Author: theSam!! theSam!!’s RecoveryFromMormonism, Hymnals straight from theGreenBook!! 1. #3, Now Let Us Rejoice Now let us rejoice!!, in theDay of Resignation, no longer as robots, through church need we roam. 2. #5, High on theMountainTop High on theMountainTop!!, a neckTie is unfurled, ye Nooseless now lookUp,and wave to C - O - B!! (churchOfficeBuilding) 3. #7, Israel, Israel, God Is Calling Israel, Israel, Joe!! is calling, telling thee Far lands toGo!!, Slave away in your new calling, I shall bend wife over Stove!! 4. #8, Awake and Arise Awake and Arise!!, oh ye slumberingPatrons!!, theMinister has opened theVeil again, days last and final temple movie, has burst a Yawn, is it over YET!? 5. #13, An Angel from on High An Angel from on High!!, who didn’t bother to knock, trenchCoat kinda guy, ...

More Glib quotes from theRegions!! most Absolute!! VPSO!! ----------------------------- VillageSam!! isms theSam!! I think, therefore my head hurts!! theSam!! Getting out of bed in theMorning!! is easy, it's getting out of this Messy apt in the dark that's hard to do!! theSam!! what have I done now?!, What have I NOT done is theQuestion!! theSam!! letting go of theBottle!! is easy, getting it away from my mouth's another matter!! theSam!! roll out theBarrel!! really!! just do away with theBarrel and bring in theVillageChick!! 's they're much funner!! theSam!! theEarlyBird!! might get theWorm!!, but so does theLastOne!! to drain thePatron before Midnight!! theSam!! frank said it before, and Sam!!'s saying it again, thePainfullyObvioused!! theSam!! still ShiningThrough!! after all these years, if only with his keyLightFob!! cos theMagLites sit idle, theSpotLights are in storage, and his Popo Girlfriend has the WeaponLights!! theSam!! from extraTuff!!, to extraHuff...

(again!!) theSam!! went down to theCrossRoads!! fell down on his knees, theSam!! went down to theCrossRoads!! tried to flag a ride, PeopleMover!! show no mercy!! bus just pass on by, d;oP ---------------------------- theSam!! is quite ecstatic about theNew Guitar, and after carrying it around here and there all week, theSam!! 's coWorker, a Brotha!! waxed poetic about Howlin'Wolf!! and PineTopPerkins!!, BlindMelon Parsnips!!, GlassEyed jacque (jake), even DeathRoe Mo!! d:oP so, Just to see if theSam!! could ever be a BluesMan!!, he first has to name Himself!! See, most BluesMen have Action names and Location names, even Injuries and medicalConditions or their favorite / worst vegetable!!, even their favorite Color!! --------------- theSam!! NamesHimself!! BluesManSam!! is now , BurntFuscha Suffle'!! BluesManSam!! is now , SoupyRinseFree Runs!! eewwe... BluesManSam!! is now , EvictedLoud Strummer!! it could happen folks!! BluesManSam!! is now , OldSpiceChugger Reeks!! Blue...

theSleeping!! Lady posts a HALP!! Wonted ad!! for Food & Beverage Stupff .... Staphf!! (Anchorage Job Position!!: Recumbent, Supine / Prone!!) Reply to: theSleeping!! Lady, West, west NorthWest of Anchorage d:oP Date: Well duh!! , if that’s what you call it, I’m snoozing half theTime anywayz, so who knows!? what goes on-when I Go Out!! (or when I PassOut!!...from sleep!!) APPLICATIONS AVAILABLE AT ALL LOCAL PILLOW, SLEEPING BAG, LIQUOR!! & MATTRESS STORES!! except for that really tall, Bald whiteGuy that dances with those cows at his store on tv, he creeps me out!! Position: Bartender ($5.25 - $7.50 Plus Gratuitous gratuity & BodyShot!! Privileges) Obligations, Expectations & Duties Include: 1. Greets Me!! (of course) every morning in my MidTown Condo (or SouthTown, HillTop, Mtn View!!. Except for theEastSide!!, that location mysteriously burnt down recently *whistles a tune....*) and takes beverage orders from me, or any kind of the following orders: -Fluff up my P...

Trust me!!, I’ve done this before!! d:oP ---- Still MORE VillageNews!! International, National, Village!! I’m yorHost, theSam!! -National!! grass fire extinguished at localMilitary base!!, scapeGoat airmen blame a marked ball!! sshhuurree!!.. and out in theVillage!! , theGrassFires just go out at last Inhale!! ---- -Village!! 4 cans of MineYum!! greet theVillageCouncil!! four itty bitty cans of food that is, after theLocoVillageCouncil decided to “Unencumber” voters gunning for their seats!! ...... what!? that doesn’t make any sense..... now if it were theVillagers!! gunning for their VPSO then, THAT I would understand. ---- -village!! sponsons of CleanWater declare there’s No Initiative!! But then again, what the heck does a bunch of containers of water have to do with “work” in theVillage!? Besides, theOnly time anyOne ever gets any work Initiative is when theSam!! is down by theWater and everyone conspires to throw theBoy!! in, *sigh* It happens every summer btw!!, when during Ri...

and to think that I live smack dab in theMiddle of CHAOS!! as we know it, it's called theVillage!! ------------------------ Date: May 15, 2008 7:25 PM Subject: Because Sam!!'s Bored!! d:oD Body: 1 worn out, broken husk, battered and worn. Size Double XXXLL, Extra Large Cranial Noggin, Bulbous nasal protuberance!! Extras: Baggage: in excess of 55lbs and 3 carryOns, 2 double chins, 1 Jowl!! 2 flat feet!! 1 strong will to survive, Spite, Grief, a dash of Humor and absolutely NO common sense!! 1 stomach to think with!! d:oP ----------------------------- 1. Who has seen you in your underwear lately? theFrontRoom-roomie!!, maybe that explains his Hasty departure from theApt yesterday!! dowh well, 4 apts w/in this Apt, just me and lil' TJ!!, she's in theNext room over. she bitterly complains to theOffsiteLandLady'mon!! about my guitar playing after hours, ggeeeezzz, I barely touch my soft cases or even think of a chord riff or Note run and my cell phone is a ringin...

No no. theSam!! isn't threatening to leave theVillage!! .....he already has!! d:oP this is an article from theAnchorageDailyNews about theVillage!! Read all about it. --------------------- Leaving the village More people from the Bush are moving to urban areas By TOM KIZZIA Published: May 14th, 2008 12:02 AM Last Modified: May 14th, 2008 01:43 AM The migration of rural Alaskans from village to city has accelerated in the last two years, though the reasons are complex and cannot be easily linked to higher energy costs, a new university study says. Out-migration has been a fact of modern Alaska life for decades. But with young women leading the way, the annual net population loss from rural Alaska has more than doubled since 2006, according to the new study by the Institute of Social and Economic Research at the University of Alaska Anchorage. What makes the numbers stand out, said ISER interim director Steve Colt, is that the birth rate in rural Alaska has declined as well. Some vi...

theSam!! not only....theBarTenderzBestFriend!! but her bestPal’s ReboundGuy’s, 2nd InetServiceTech come-visit theApt 4x one summer, who’s DeliSandwichMaker / Stop-n-Rob StoreClerk’s, former 2nd Exhusband’s LineChefBoss 3yrs in a row, but got demoted to iceCreamShopClerk, turned PastryChef / DMO / Unemployed!!'s, exHairDresser recentBarber and villageWitchDoctor of a Therapist, ranked #9 (on average) in theMySpaceFriendsList!!.... of her worst enemy twice Reinstated and removed!! ---------- Uhmm What!? !! ---------- theSam!! not only....that!! but apparently a whole lot more too!! ---------- theSam!! not only....drinking at his HomeBar!! but apparently now drinking weekly at someone elses bar too!! *hiccup...* --------- theSam!! not only....“Building, Blending, Stirring and Shaking” drinks!! but doing these SAME things to his friends lives as well!! While they “Flame” away at theMuddler!! and “Layer” on a double “Chill”upon theDryIngredient!! faster than a fruitFly!! spirals to it’s...