Favorite Hymnals straight from theLDS GreenHymnBook!!

I posted this in RecoveryFromMormonism boards and got a few responses to my Lightmindedness!!
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Subject: Favorite Hymnals straight from theGreenBook!!
Date: May 23 16:32
Author: theSam!!
theSam!!’s RecoveryFromMormonism, Hymnals straight from theGreenBook!!


1. #3, Now Let Us Rejoice
Now let us rejoice!!, in theDay of Resignation, no longer as robots, through church need we roam.

2. #5, High on theMountainTop
High on theMountainTop!!, a neckTie is unfurled, ye Nooseless now lookUp,and wave to C - O - B!! (churchOfficeBuilding)

3. #7, Israel, Israel, God Is Calling

Israel, Israel, Joe!! is calling, telling thee Far lands toGo!!, Slave away in your new calling, I shall bend wife over Stove!!


4. #8, Awake and Arise

Awake and Arise!!, oh ye slumberingPatrons!!, theMinister has opened theVeil again, days last and final temple movie,
has burst a Yawn, is it over YET!?

5. #13, An Angel from on High
An Angel from on High!!, who didn’t bother to knock, trenchCoat kinda guy, 3 times these words he spoke,
for a hundred dollar bill, a secret record, Lies!!, Unreal.
for a lonely tithing bill, a greedy cult you will unveil.

6. #15, I Saw a Mighty Angel Fly
I Saw a Mighty Angel fly!!, a toke he took, flicked away, a Mess I’m bearing, I’m soo high, my trumpet is a Bong, (ok!?)

7. #17, Awake, Ye Saints of God, Awake!
Awake, Ye Temple Patrons, Awake!!, I call on you in despair, That you will slumberz bondage break, I bring my arm Upright-to theSquare!!, I bring my arm Upright-to theSquare!!


8. #25, Now We’ll Sing with One Accord

Now We’ll Drive theHonda Accord!!, while a Puppet of daLord, Brings forth his Car and Guard, Jeers theSaints most piously,

While thePoor in darkness stay, Lo!!, While he puts thePepsi away, and he read theBoards, “Browse, Log & Post Recovery son!!”

9. #26, JosephSmith’s First Prayer
oh how lovely was theMouthRing, Radiant beamed her eyes Above!!
Knees were quaking, her throat milking...

Wait.. wait..
I’m being TOO kind here, we all know he’d have plenty of time for THAT later on in life.

10. #29, A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief
a poor wayfaring ma... GoodGrief!!, has often crossed paths on my way, Hands out for Tithes, “TsunamiRelief”,
Yet I always answer “Nay”,

He has no Power, he has no Shame, Yet what I earn he’s sure to Claim!!,
Yet there was something in his eye, it was my Glock, I wonder why!?

Once when my family meal was spread, theyEntered, no Call no Knock, Funds perishing to build a Mall, I saw him OUT!!

He cursed me, Spake, Then wet, he gave theSprinklers heck (again!!),
“I’ll never step foot on porch till Months end!!”,

then Fled my Lawn in eager haste, They have no Manners, None, No Taste!!

I spied them where I always shop, pounced from theRacks, my boundaries Gone!!, theHeedless Bish pushed his girth, I ignored it, stepped past continued on,

thePackageStore I raised theBottle up, Thrice from theShelf filled basket up, Swiped and signed and returned to theCar, I looked and saw them never more.

d:oP
Actually this is my favorite church hymn, cos to me, it’s about my savior and yet, all through my life, the church has quietly taught that Joseph is more better than jesus!!

You’d think the Morg went and ruined it for me, but I didn’t let them.
I even used this song from theGreenBook to learn Violin last year, cos to me, the song is all about Jesus and about our fellow man,
not some Pedophile Conman!!

Post some LINES from Your favorite Hims/Hers!!

luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska

alaskavillagetales

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Subject: Bwahbwahhehehesheshehahah! nt
Date: May 23 17:01
Author: happiliidisillusioned

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Subject: i think im the ONLY one who liked this song....
Date: May 24 03:17
Author: YSL
and i always wondered why they never sang it. too BAZAAR!!!


"if you could hie to kolob in the twinkling of an eye...
and then continue onward with the same speed to fly...
do you think that you could ever, through all eternity...
something something something god and man to be....
or see the great beginning..."

i also adored the more traditional ones, too. i would have to crack the book to remember their names and jog my memory.
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Subject: Nice work Sam. Enjoyed that. nt
Date: May 24 06:58
Author: Cheryl

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Subject: Re: Favorite Hymnals straight from theGreenBook!!
Date: May 25 00:27
Author: theSam!!


But wait!!
there’s more.

#30 Come, Come, Ye Saints
(with CON viction, if theFLDS fathers & mothers ever ARE!!)

Sit, sit ye Men, No toil nor labor fear, Because “Joy” will wait on you,
Though hard to them, these chores may appear, “Grace” shall be tonights “lay!!”,

Tis better Far, theBoys!! to drive, those womb-less tares, out of sight,
Do this and “Joy” your loins will Swell, She will swell!! She WILL swell!!
----

#36 They, theBuilders of theNation

they theBuilders of Desecration, building Malls along the way,
stepping on next generations, Would you give YOUR gold teeth!?

Stripping soft & firm Foundation!!, push into her WildFrontier!!
Forcing TeenWard, clothes, Downward, What?!, you think we build just homes!?

d:oP
-------

and now theSam!! adds some OldTime country hymns!! with a Morg twist!!


Amazing Grace,
how sweet theSound, that saved a “fetch” like me,
I once was lost, and still I Am!! was blind still I can’t see!!

Are You Washed in theBlood!?
Have you been to DI for that cleansing Powder!?
Are you eating rack of theLamb!?
Are your HT/VT fully in your face this hour,
Are you putting your Thumb to the backs of their hands?!

At theCross!!
At last!! did my girlfriend bleed and did her hold on me die,
Would she give that sacred head to a sinner such as I?!


theDay He Wore My Crown!!

theCity was SaltLake, theTime just yesterday, thePeeps call him Tommy, theCrime was theLove for Coke & Pepsi,
And I’m theOne to blame!!
for I caused all thePain!!
He caved himself, the day he drank my Crown!! (& coke)


Blessed Assurance!!

Blessed Insurance, this Tithe is mine!! Don’t want a taste of Fire divine,
Hair of theDog, purchased by God, Porn at Marriotts, washed in their tubs!!
This is my Story, they tell me I’m wrong,, counting my Saviors all night long,
This is my Story, they tell me I’m wrong, watching blue tube all night long!!

theBlood Will Never Lose It’s Power!! (though I just Lost Mine!!)
theBlood that Joe shed for me, way back at Liberty

theTithes that makes my Bank shrink from day to day, Morg will never lose it’s power (though MetroWatt just shut Mine!!)

Calvary Covers It All!!

far clear than RFM can ever impart, was theTouch that came to my heart!!,
how theEndowmentWorker and I alone, for my sins we did atone and theShield Poncho barely covers it all (me!!)

Broken and SpilledOUT!!
Broken and spilled out, of theWindow on YOU, Joseph, believed he could fly!!
Splashed himself upon thee, Broken and Spilled out, at theMobs feet,
oh sweet abandon, everyone bow your head and Say, Yes!!

Does jesus care!!
Does joseph care!? when my wallet is empty, too deep for wife & kids!?
as theBills on me press and theCreditors distress and theWay (to theShelter) is weary and long?!
Oh NO!!, Who cares, He doesn’t Care, His heart unfeeling to my Grief,
When theJobHunting days are weary, theLonely nights so dreary at least he cares about my Wife!!

theEasternGate!!
theEagles Gate!!
I will meet you in the morning, just outside theEaglesGate,
then be ready paperBoy!!, lest with you my payment be late!!
I will meet you in the morning, I will meet you in the morning, just outside theEaglesGate!!, uh.. Over There!!

Footsteps of Jesus
KneelMarks of Joseph
Sweetly Joe, have we heard thee calling, Oh God, why hast thou forsaken me!?
and we have already seen theBed with thy knee marks pointing, leading us unto Thee!!
Kneel marks of Joseph, DNA under blackLight Glow!!
We will follow theSpurt!! marks of Joseph, where ever they may go!!

Give Me That Old Time Religion!!

give me that old time religion, (3X) cos it’s NOT under CNN scrutiny!!)
It was good for prophet Joseph, (3X) and it’s good enough for Briggy!!

He Looked Beyond My Fault!!
Amusing, graced, always be my songs of praise, for it was Tithes that bought my Liberty,
So that is Why theMorg lovs me so, yet Bish looks beyond my fault and up my Wifey’s knees!!
She shall forever lift theHemline up past her face, to stumble through theVeil where Gropings wait for her
How marvelous, (How wonderful!!) theGaze that watches my falling soul.
Bishop looks at my Wifes Fault (theCrack!!) but blames me Anyway!!


he’s Got theWhole Ward In His Hands!!

He’s got theWhole Ward In His Hands!! (3x) and he barely speaks English!! (theAsian / Hmong FO collectorBoy!!)

He’s got theWhole stake In His Hands!! (3x) and he’s only 2 weeks old!! (theNewest born child)
He’s got theRS sisters In His Hands!! (3x) and he’s their MassageTherapist!! (cottage cheese and melons, yummm)
he’s got theBroomCloset In His Hands!! (3x) and his family lives there too!! (theMinority brother that cleans up all the time)

Subject: Guide us oh that great Jehovah (Gordo)
Date: May 25 01:57
Author: AZEvilSingleGuy

1. Guide us oh, thou great Gordon B Hinkley, Guide us to the new Creek City Mall.

We are poor, but thou art able to hold us by the neck with thy pow'rful hand.

Holy shit! Holy shit! How much more money do we have to spend? How much more do we have to spend?

2. Open Jesus, crosstown's stores. Let her richest blessing come!
Let the fools, cloudy eyed consumers-- come and spend more!

Great Jezus! Great Jezus! Bring oh bring dollars on opening day! Bring oh bring dollars on opening day!

3. When the Cat begins to tread asphault asunder, Bid the media criticism stop.
When the FLDS judgements spread destruction, Keep us rich in codo's on the hill!

Spending money! Spending money! Spending money that used to belong to thee, unto thee! Spending money that used to belong to thee!

Bon(e)us Song...

Cum Cum ye saints, in Mormon girls so dear. Its with joy Joe humps all day.

Though hard to you, his wiener may appear, soon it will be limp and sway.

Tis better far... his cock to drive... deep in between Fanny Alger's thighs, than to spank and go to hell, Fanny is tight as hell, tight as hell!
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NOTICE TO MORMONS

I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmidedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed (Annoying)
or any other impure or unholy practice

Contact me at your own risk
Abel, My New Name / TempleName

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Comments

Anonymous said…
Naughty, naughty Sam. But very funny! (cottage cheese and melons, lol!) You know what else I think? You should post some vids of your guitar playing. :)

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