You Know You're a DishWasher if.....
You Know You're A DishWasher if.....!!
You Know You're A DishWasher if.....!!
1) You have more photos of places where you've worked than you have of photos of family, friends.
2) You talk to your bathroom sink, to your refrigerator, to your coffee cup.
3) You are more afraid of chipping or breaking than you are of dying!!
4) You're the only one in the whole restaurant who gets excited when new customers walk in just before closing time.
5) Your best friend is an NSF 2000 electron Industrial automated dishwashing machine.
6) You invite friends over to look at your new Manna miniJet you just installed under the kitchen counter.
7) Your kept looking for an suitable apt with acceptable hardwire plugins for your MiniFridge, your Microwave, your MiniWineCooler and your iceCream freezer IN Your Bedroom.
8) You apologize to your friends after slapping and kicking them about the head & shoulders cos you thought they weren't working fast enough.
9) You get irritated at all theFOH / front of House staff using the sides of your NSF Electron 2000 as a mirror (you keep it polished and shining bright)
10) You sleep with a mini sanitize bucket & clean rag next to your bed, for when you unexpectedly wake up in middle of the night and can't go back to sleep-you head to the kitchen to clean, polish silverware, sort your utensils.
11) Your spouse or LiveIn's keep leaving you because- you sleep with a mini sanitize bucket & clean rag next to your bed, and you washed them off One too many times!!
12) You have an CaptiveAir!! exhaust removal systems remote control right next to your bed just in case your apt gets too humid and muggy.
13) Your kids say they want a birthday party and you put away theChina and break out thePaper plates, theSporks AND the mini plastic Champagne glasses.
14) At an catered event you're always bugging people NOT to Put lipmarks and fingerprints on your ware.
15) You spend more time in the kitchen with your appliances, your wares and food than you spend with your own family.
16) You're watching soap operas one day on tv and actually boycotted 3 stations when you saw 4 actresses hurl dishes, breaking plates and otherwise "abusing" the silverware-However, you said Nothing when SharonStone used an ice pick to stab.....
17) Attending a family reunion is hard on your nerves cos you'll never know if your sister will use Chinet or Oster, and you've caused the girlfriend to give you the silent treatment because instead of clothes, You packed yellowWash gloves, hand cream and spare hand towels.
18) Your friends tell you to get a real job, to suck up and get back into Life and you say, "Dudes, I work for some really Hot ChefChicks!! and theServerGirls bring me soda anytime I want!!"
19) the REAL reason that friendly MayTag man quit doing TV commercials is You stalked him writing for advice, thinking he was the ONLY person in the world that understood you.
20) You have more recordings of Waterfall, Rivers & Ocean sounds than you do of your favorite music.
21) You have more Janitorial equipment and supplies than most HomeDepots & hardware stores.
22) You know all the MMSDS publications printed since 1991 and have them committed to memory, COLD. And oddly enough, after mistakenly drinking a few cleaning materials over the years, you prefer floorcleaner & pinesol Straightup!! & cold.
23) You get a new wash rag or sponge at home and the first thing you do is run it through theManna miniJet a few times "to break it in!!".
24) Your love life at home consists of theWife / girlfriend dressing up all HOT in a serverGirl outfit and she brings you dinner, then you eat it in the corner while sitting on a milk carton.
25) Your kids / mother / family tells everyone else that you're an investment banker with penthouses in NewYork and a cabin in Montana and you travel alot, because you always leave for work before anyone else in the neighborhood gets up and you always return from work long after everyone else goes to sleep.
26) Your wife / girlfriend still hasn't forgiven you for using her AvonLoofah sponge to clean your BBQ grill last summer.
27) You are waiting for Regis, Oprah, DrPhil or Springer to ask for material on "Dirty dishes and dirty laundry within theRestaurantIndustry"
28) You take a picture of you entire family and nobody is in the picture cos of all theAppliances, the 7 foot Ice machine and the new Soda fountain.
29) You keep re Ordering a new Guinness beer pouring machine because somehow, yours keeps on mysteriously "breaking", and especially after you make theWife / girlfriend pour you a drink every hour after work.
30) Your idea of a perfect first date is taking him/her to Sears or to any Home appliance center and browsing the aisles looking at pots, pans, sugar tongs & gherkin trays.
31) You agree and can identify with most of what is written here!!
32) You can fill out job applications from 20 feet with a sprayer hose and dot your i's and cross every t as well.
33) the neighbors cockroaches FLEE when you come within 5 city blocks of them.
34) not only do you know every dirty crack in the sidewalks of broadway, main, center, theAvenue, Midline, State etc... but you also know every dishwash machine in every eatery that lines all of these particular streets,
35) You know every safe code, every wine locker code, every restaurant & eatery proximity alarm / disarm codes of places that you've NEVER ever worked at...yet.
36) you've ever been followed by theMedia Food writers and other image hungry workers looking for work, cos everyone eats where You eat, and everyone knows that where ever you walk in theCity is a safe place to work & hangout.
37) water specialists have ever consulted you on designing new forms of Water that allow barrier permiation at more cohesive ppm verses solubility formulas that just allow water adhesion and dispersion until there is no more surface sustainability....
38) your entire family is outfitted in chef whites, with houndstooth checkered pants and $100 water togs
39) your kids write swear words about "daddy" on their paper Chefhats and your wife / girlfriend puts "I'm with stupid---->>>" on her hat.
40) you give your kids minimum wage on allowance, but deduct 17% gratuity, 10% maintenance fees and another 8% "house" fees.
41) You give theWife / girlfriend a QuikPick pushVac for her birthday, and she gives you a pair of latex gloves & vaseline whenever you're feeling "frisky".
42) oh my god.. I'm having too much fun here.
later tators!!
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak
You Know You're A DishWasher if.....!!
1) You have more photos of places where you've worked than you have of photos of family, friends.
2) You talk to your bathroom sink, to your refrigerator, to your coffee cup.
3) You are more afraid of chipping or breaking than you are of dying!!
4) You're the only one in the whole restaurant who gets excited when new customers walk in just before closing time.
5) Your best friend is an NSF 2000 electron Industrial automated dishwashing machine.
6) You invite friends over to look at your new Manna miniJet you just installed under the kitchen counter.
7) Your kept looking for an suitable apt with acceptable hardwire plugins for your MiniFridge, your Microwave, your MiniWineCooler and your iceCream freezer IN Your Bedroom.
8) You apologize to your friends after slapping and kicking them about the head & shoulders cos you thought they weren't working fast enough.
9) You get irritated at all theFOH / front of House staff using the sides of your NSF Electron 2000 as a mirror (you keep it polished and shining bright)
10) You sleep with a mini sanitize bucket & clean rag next to your bed, for when you unexpectedly wake up in middle of the night and can't go back to sleep-you head to the kitchen to clean, polish silverware, sort your utensils.
11) Your spouse or LiveIn's keep leaving you because- you sleep with a mini sanitize bucket & clean rag next to your bed, and you washed them off One too many times!!
12) You have an CaptiveAir!! exhaust removal systems remote control right next to your bed just in case your apt gets too humid and muggy.
13) Your kids say they want a birthday party and you put away theChina and break out thePaper plates, theSporks AND the mini plastic Champagne glasses.
14) At an catered event you're always bugging people NOT to Put lipmarks and fingerprints on your ware.
15) You spend more time in the kitchen with your appliances, your wares and food than you spend with your own family.
16) You're watching soap operas one day on tv and actually boycotted 3 stations when you saw 4 actresses hurl dishes, breaking plates and otherwise "abusing" the silverware-However, you said Nothing when SharonStone used an ice pick to stab.....
17) Attending a family reunion is hard on your nerves cos you'll never know if your sister will use Chinet or Oster, and you've caused the girlfriend to give you the silent treatment because instead of clothes, You packed yellowWash gloves, hand cream and spare hand towels.
18) Your friends tell you to get a real job, to suck up and get back into Life and you say, "Dudes, I work for some really Hot ChefChicks!! and theServerGirls bring me soda anytime I want!!"
19) the REAL reason that friendly MayTag man quit doing TV commercials is You stalked him writing for advice, thinking he was the ONLY person in the world that understood you.
20) You have more recordings of Waterfall, Rivers & Ocean sounds than you do of your favorite music.
21) You have more Janitorial equipment and supplies than most HomeDepots & hardware stores.
22) You know all the MMSDS publications printed since 1991 and have them committed to memory, COLD. And oddly enough, after mistakenly drinking a few cleaning materials over the years, you prefer floorcleaner & pinesol Straightup!! & cold.
23) You get a new wash rag or sponge at home and the first thing you do is run it through theManna miniJet a few times "to break it in!!".
24) Your love life at home consists of theWife / girlfriend dressing up all HOT in a serverGirl outfit and she brings you dinner, then you eat it in the corner while sitting on a milk carton.
25) Your kids / mother / family tells everyone else that you're an investment banker with penthouses in NewYork and a cabin in Montana and you travel alot, because you always leave for work before anyone else in the neighborhood gets up and you always return from work long after everyone else goes to sleep.
26) Your wife / girlfriend still hasn't forgiven you for using her AvonLoofah sponge to clean your BBQ grill last summer.
27) You are waiting for Regis, Oprah, DrPhil or Springer to ask for material on "Dirty dishes and dirty laundry within theRestaurantIndustry"
28) You take a picture of you entire family and nobody is in the picture cos of all theAppliances, the 7 foot Ice machine and the new Soda fountain.
29) You keep re Ordering a new Guinness beer pouring machine because somehow, yours keeps on mysteriously "breaking", and especially after you make theWife / girlfriend pour you a drink every hour after work.
30) Your idea of a perfect first date is taking him/her to Sears or to any Home appliance center and browsing the aisles looking at pots, pans, sugar tongs & gherkin trays.
31) You agree and can identify with most of what is written here!!
32) You can fill out job applications from 20 feet with a sprayer hose and dot your i's and cross every t as well.
33) the neighbors cockroaches FLEE when you come within 5 city blocks of them.
34) not only do you know every dirty crack in the sidewalks of broadway, main, center, theAvenue, Midline, State etc... but you also know every dishwash machine in every eatery that lines all of these particular streets,
35) You know every safe code, every wine locker code, every restaurant & eatery proximity alarm / disarm codes of places that you've NEVER ever worked at...yet.
36) you've ever been followed by theMedia Food writers and other image hungry workers looking for work, cos everyone eats where You eat, and everyone knows that where ever you walk in theCity is a safe place to work & hangout.
37) water specialists have ever consulted you on designing new forms of Water that allow barrier permiation at more cohesive ppm verses solubility formulas that just allow water adhesion and dispersion until there is no more surface sustainability....
38) your entire family is outfitted in chef whites, with houndstooth checkered pants and $100 water togs
39) your kids write swear words about "daddy" on their paper Chefhats and your wife / girlfriend puts "I'm with stupid---->>>" on her hat.
40) you give your kids minimum wage on allowance, but deduct 17% gratuity, 10% maintenance fees and another 8% "house" fees.
41) You give theWife / girlfriend a QuikPick pushVac for her birthday, and she gives you a pair of latex gloves & vaseline whenever you're feeling "frisky".
42) oh my god.. I'm having too much fun here.
later tators!!
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak
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