Happy Birthday!!

...jill

theSam!!
approaching his 240th post like his approach to his 240th pound,
mouth open, chewing on food and surfing theInet!!

which by the way, IS AN ACTIVITY!!, so don't call me sedentary!! d:o/

theSam!!
who may be heavyweight to many people not of his village!!
but to his huge VillageChixxx!! he's just a flyweight,

in fact, theSam!! is more akin to a Mosquito in that he bugs the crap out of you,

is only active pretty much only 4 months of the year and you
never see him the other 8 months but live in fear of when he'll come round again.

theSam!!
in order to "feel" theReeses PeanutButterCup "double thePeanutButterSensation",
must be SOBER first and eat theBigCups before eating food and then drinking some Smirnoff Orange Vodka!!

.....note tooo seefl, *hicup!!*
mmmuusshtt, eeeett bbeeepphhhoorrreee ddwwwinn... dwwinkkinngg.

theSam!!
Available in Piano, Acoustic Guitar, Violin (but trust us, you really don't wanna hear him for at least another 10yrs, as 2-3hrs of practice a day yields roughly 10,000hrs or-10yrs!!, but you can listen to him now if you want, but Don't Say We Didn't Warn YOU!!)

Available as well in Electric Guitar and Just Now available in HeavyMetal!!
But first he's gotta finish reading theBoss HeavyMetalPedal instructions (4 page insert) and then take another Shot of "courage" to plug everything in and play!!

and coming Soon,
HarmonicaSam!! in good old safe Key of "C"

theSam!!
nowEvicted from his Apt for playing HeavyMetal!! at 0300hrs in the morning.

just kidding.
-----------------------------

GRANMA T

she's only late 60's now and weighs about 100lbs,
I see her every other day or so when I step off theBus by theMall and walk to the next block to transfer buses to theDowntown Main depot.

all theHomeless here in Anchorage have their "tribal" groups,
as there is over roughly 2 dozen shelters, just as many soup kitchens and half as many halfway houses,

even those in need have to band together to survive on the streets, theNatives mostly have theDowntown area, a stretch of Park as it extends southward into Midtown anchorage and then a short section of woods leading into theNorth part of Anchorage,

and theForeigners, theWhites, theRussians, have parts of Midtown and further south.

When I used to drive an 8hr shift for an Security company around Anchorage, I saw many of the homeless and noted their stomping grounds, where they'd buy food, what convenience stores they'd use the most, and what specific shelters, churches and soup kitchens they'd be at.

And talking, even in dead of winter they'd be talking, all of them.
Sometimes you'd think that theDown & Out people would be sad or angry. but most of them I saw were & are happy about something,

And they sure talk alot, whether it's about tomorrows trip to their CaseWorker or they finally got reQualified for FoodStamps,

it's all big news to them and so they talk to their friends, and they celebrate, and they all roll smokes (make cigarettes by pinching tobacco onto paper and rolling it up into a cigarette) and if they're still drinking, they pass around a bottle of booze or bottles of pop,

talking talking talking, Last year Granma T was more vocal to people,

I sat by her one time on theBus and she was telling a friend of hers that she mostly wandered around day to day and would get something to eat at one of theSoupKitchens before ending her day looking for a place to sleep,

She had a backpack then, but this year I only see her and she carries nothing else.

Last month she was on the receiving end of some verbal abuse from another homeless man, a Blackman,

Granma T kept telling the man to go away, and he kept telling her to
"shut the fuck up and git on otta heeya",

And people were walking past and others were sitting close by just watching what was going on, So I took a few minutes out of my day to go over by Granma and I stood next to theBlackman and just looked down at him,

no anger, not hate, really just Nothing.
Just stand and observe, keep track of everything around you and while you do all of that, put yourself somewhere far away doing something quiet and peaceful,

After about 2 minutes of me standing there, my knee touching his knee,
the man muttered an oath and stood up and hobbled away,

which surprised me, cos he looked fit and tough enough to hold his own if he got into a fight,

but then again, he too was homeless and so, often, ya' gotta figure that every one of them is often Physically broke down as well as being broken (somehow) in mind, spirit or emotions.

And they are..... broken.
They're beat down,
Tired of fighting.

Or at least that's what I observe, and at times, those are feelings that I too experience when I think that I want to give up and run to the nearest StateOffice for permanent-Lifelong assistance and when I want to run to theBooze store for something to drink,

and often, it's what other Villagers and even a few homeless have told me.
They don't want to fit in or they Can't fit in anymore and so EVERYONE else ends up taking care of them.

We take care of them now with our Taxes, we take care of them now with Social Security, and even for the lucky ones whom are Native,

they get $ / Money from their respective Native / Tribal / Village organizations and sometimes that can be equivalent to a regular paycheck to you or to me.

And during times like this, when Granma T was being sworn at for an unknown (to me at least) reason, theHomeless often only prey upon each other,

Another time, I saw Granma T following some Native men around,
she was often 20' behind them, and then 4' behind them, then when they'd stop to talk or stop to talk with someone else,

Granma T would attempt to get their attention and the men would yell at her.
Would raise their voices and she'd step back.

She always had her hand out to them and I heard the men say,
"that she drank enough already"
"Go away..."

Apparently they all have been drinking and Granma T just wanted to drink some more.

Then yesterday, when I rode theBus down to South anchorage to meet up with a friend.
I was sleepy and leaned a bit towards theWindow and closed my eyes.

I felt theBus move, felt it stop then start, heard people around me,
Felt people near and far from me who were on the bus,

and in my grogginess, I felt a warm presence come near,
and then a small person sat down next to me,

Soon, this small person was leaning on ME and fell asleep too!!

after about 35mins of riding theBus around town, we got to the destination where I had to stop, and I sat up straight and noticed that the person who sat next to me, was Granma T.

I put my arm around her and woke her up, she stood up and I left, but before we parted company, she squeezed my hand. She always does when we meet.

I forget where it was that I first met Granma T,
maybe she was one of theHomeless that was sleeping in the stairwells of an parking garage that I had to Guard / Patrol hourly,

and I would quietly open up the stairwell doors and slowly pad up or down the concrete stairs and upon varying my route and routine,

would find young kids, teens, teen couples (often a pregnant couple), and I'd find a few foreigners as well,

some Germans or Albanians, Russians, even a Swede!!
they all sleep with hoods over their heads and leaning on their back packs,

I'd often leave any of these people alone until just before dawn, then I had to evict them from the stairwells,

Lately, as I walk back to my Apt after a late shift at one Restaurant here in town, I often hear muffled coughs and hushed voices coming from theWoods, from the treeline of a few places I walk past,

even now, at a Recent cold snap of what (to me anyways) felt like -20F / minus 20F just a couple nights ago there are homeless people camping out in the woods in the snow,

So if you're reading this, you've probably got a roof over your head, and a job too.

What ever drives you to stay employed and to stay Sober, keep doing what you're doing ok?!

theSam!! doesn't want to see you begging for change on the streets,
theSam!! doesn't want to see you sitting in the cafe's quietly begging from customers either,

You don't need to end up like that.
Being homeless isn't fun.
I know how it is, because when I lived in Seattle during the 1990's I ended up being homeless,

I had a good relationship go bad, my lady friend was the most beautiful person in the world to me, I loved her and wanted to marry her.

But somehow, she rejected me. And that rejection affected me greatly.
Because I had a lot of plans that hinged on me being married,
I had hopes and dreams and my heart was given to another.

So I left theBeauty salon, I left theMassage table,
I left Life for awhile and never went back to what I once did.

At first I stayed with some church friends, and I even stayed a few nights with some good friends whom were my Salon & Massage clients too,

You never know whom your friends are until you fall on bad times.
Those are the best of friends indeed.

This month of February, my Friend of old, she turns 45yrs of age, and I'm 40.
Even though she's older than me, we see who's more mature of us both.

And we see who's gone onto better things in life.
My friend of old chose badly, and I suffered the consequences.
I was homeless. I was broke, I was penniless, and for awhile I had no hope either.

And I don't wish any of what I experienced upon anyone, not even my trusted friend who dumped me.

But I know that in the end, she will feel what I felt, and that she will experience the grief and pain that she caused me to suffer,

God will see that everything is made right in the end. That's the beautiful and sad thing about LIFE. That what goes around Comes back around.

Even a night ago, I had another vivid dream.
I crossed over to the other side but instead of seeing my God & Christ theSavior,
I saw a little bit of what was to be for me, and some of my "enemies" were bound to me eternally.

Bound to me by what evil they did to me in this life, and thus, would serve eternally in the next life,

And 10 yrs later I am living life without my once precious religion to lean on,
I am a product of what 30yrs of mormonism made me, and it made me tough if nothing else,

I can endure, I can stand, and I will achieve what I want.
I wrote to my Mother and told her a bit of my dream, for she too is a Spiritual person, as all Lakota women are.

I can endure, I can stand, But for now, I put all that on hold and I wash dishes and then practice my musical instruments, and sleep.

Nothing else matters anymore.
So happy birthday my old friend, February is your month and I will remember you always.

luvs, theSam!!
samuel l flyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
--------------------

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi sam, I stop by and read from time to time and that is a good read. Thanks

LBJ
Anonymous said…
this article about granny ,got to me.thanks for being there for her at times. i wish that she would find a warm place to live. i am okla choctaw and just buzzing by.

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