Lost In Woods!!
In Blog!!, Alaskan VPSO body language.
Blinking
Village Safety Officer hopefuls have been making a number of body language gaffes that could turn off theVillagers!!, according to VPSO expert L. Ostin Woods.
Lost has watched dozens of hours of theVPSO’s as they’ve searched theWoods for her, hopeful that they’d find her and her backpacks of Alcohol she was importing into theVillage!!
Each VPSO has spent a Porcupines age!! in campaigning out in theWoods, and literally dozens of VPSO’s from around theRegion have been documented via theVillageGrapeVine!! in studying their non-verbal cues
- signals such as “I give up” hand & arm gestures,
“where theHell did they go!?“ postures,
-“oh no, I’m gonna be late for dinner at Granma’s house cos I’m tracking her granddaughter” facial expressions
-or “Come out now, where are You!?“ frustrated tones of voice,
especially when leading theVPSO‘s through stands of Douglas fir or into acres of fallen timber. (every village has at least one or theOther somewhere close by)
theVillage!! VPSO candidate, theSam!!, blinks the most frequently of the currently serving Safeties, and when doing so exposes issues he is nervous about, Ostin Woods says.
Issues like,
having chased someone by foot through theWoods and then getting lost,
or having chased someone through theWoods, hearing “His own” vehicle start and drive away and he abandons his pursuit to go look for his car,
or perhaps his SofLenses are needing refreshing drops of “BlinkenClean” cos he’s past his 20th hour of being awake and will probably get to sleep in another 8hrs and can then remove his SofLenses.... maybe tomorrow!?
'Laser eyes'
L.Ostin Woods says theSam!! has "laser-focus eye contact", which can make whoever he is talking to feel like they are the only person in the room,
something he shares with over half theLEO‘s in uniform inState, and not to mention all of theSchool teachers and all the church nuns inState as well.
People with LFEC / laser focus eye contact, can make you feel, Like you’ve just been caught importing alcohol INTO theVillage!!, as well as having just been singled out for being late on yesterdays turning in of last weeks homework assignment,
ggeeezzz louuisse.... So much for opting to turn in an silly report for 4th grade class when being theDARE school officer!!,
*sigh*
But, theLocal VillagePriest!! adds, the SouthDakota boys body language often changes "dramatically",
like an Inebriate depending on his audience, whether it’s theVillageCouncil, theTribalCourtOfficers or just his own reflection in theVanity mirror!!
theFather says: "The way theSamma!! just morphs from SamBrown belt wearing to OuterBallisticVest wearing in a matter of hours just makes me uncomfortable.
I'm uneasy with someone who can transform himself so completely that we lose his essence, much like we’ve lost his presence from theVillage!! time and time again when ever he’s gotten himself lost in theWoods again.”
Somebody buy theSam!! a gps unit please!!
Power cues
OstinWoods says Mr Samney!! benefits in terms of likeability from being handsome, well. *ahem*.. sort of.
At least his hair is combed now and his t shirts are on RightSide Out when ever he shows up in a hurry for any gunCalls,
Other benefits listed his height at 6‘ 1“, a "power cue". And sometimes with his cute moHawk hairdo spiked up from Bedheaded-ness!! to 6’ 3 & 1 1/4in.
theOfficer!!‘s arrest tracking history has shown the taller of the last two VillageChixxx!! prisoners in an “Escape from Custody” race usually wins.
Also!!, Making a fist is another power cue, a masculine gesture designed to show theVillageChick!! escapee is tough, apparently tougher than her detainer theSam!!
Ms Lostin Woods says thePresident of theVillageCouncil!! had began using this power cue more during his 2000, 2002, 2003 and 2005 election campaigns, when theCriticSam!! questioned his importations involvements of Alcohol brought into theVillage!! during those respective time frames,
as, it seems to show via Arrest reports and old VPSO logbooks, that theCouncilPresident was in custody a few times during those respective years and upon release from Jail,
was “moved” by anger, by hangovers or by pressure from fellow AlcoholImportation sympathizers to work against theSam!! and thus to stick theFist out!!
if only it could be thrust “down” from being cuffed behind theBack and theMiddle finger extended!!
Shaking the head
However, Ms L. OstinWoodz says former Minto governor-of-Inebriates!! Mr Samney!! suffers from a "nose-growing Pinocchio lying cue". especially when blogging about his experiences in theVillage!! years later,
much can be said with a few bottles of SmirnoffOrange, some RC and coke drinks close by, an female friend quietly sleeping behind him and his 3 musical instruments within easy reach!!
yes, yes, Much!!
*hiccup!!*
The VillagePublicSafety!!Expat - who has taught interview techniques to police by actually being stopped and detained by them just walking home from work Late LATE at night!!- says there is something suspicious about someone making an affirmative statement, such as "I am innocent", while shaking their head “No”
Or, “why yes, that hairstyle looks great!!” while removing hair clip and starting to braid or style his girlfriends hair!!
Or, while swearing his allegiance to his fave ServerGirlChick!! and yet hugging all his other “faves” on shift!! How two faced and suspicious is that!?
theSam!!’s latest girlfriend adds to his Blog while he‘s in theShower:
“he does this all the time, making positive statements, such as theVillage!! people are the greatest in theState!!', but then shaking his head 'No'."
However, I don’t mind it when he’s shaking his head No while I stand on my head from “spelling out Y-M-C-A” with my body and his chin is shaking against my........
'Steepling'
theSafety!! candidate from SouthDakota, meanwhile, can appear unfeminine, for example, by losing his Past-theShoulders long hair and going Mohawk!!,
thus “steepling” his lil’ hairDo into an odd Pyramid or Steeple shape designed to actually make him look taller,
erhh...
and other ways of appearing unfeminine can be talking in a low voice, theVillage!! body language expert says.
But with the 8 year Spate of “hey You!!” and other silly greetings spouted by theSam!! in a sing-songy voice, often to no one in particular, Mz Lostin doesn’t see theSam!! as being masculine any time soon.
"Even in spite of the fact when he 'steeples' [joining the fingertips of both hands] when he talks, an unusual gesture for theOfficer!! and more of an 'Alpha male' power signal, with phallic connotations," Ms L. OstinWoodz adds.
Mz Ostin believes the former PublicSafety!! was genuine when s / he appeared to choke back tears at an recent downtown Anchorage fast food eatery while addressing nervous staff just before acting like he was back in Primary!! (school that is).
Apparently theFastFood joint had removed an certain beloved “cheeseCake” item from the menu and theSam!! was shaken to theCore by this act of betrayal.
..................and after basically winning anything in theVillage!!, just because he’s theLaw!!
theSam!! often gloats and goes to sleep happy,
an term he calls Sheepling!!, as in, he’s theBoss and everyone else is just soft little sheep...
'Warmer cues'
But theSafetyOfficer!! expert adds that in the past MrSimpletonSam!! has been "one of the worst offenders" for showing emotion which comes across as rehearsed.
Was he actually standing curbside weeks ago waiting for a cab with his full length mirrors in hand to do nothing other than practice musical insturments in front of!!
or was it to practice his “hey you!!’s” and his thrusting out of theHands impromptu for Hugs at work!!
Ms Wood says that during the year 2002 VPSO CuffthePrisoner contest, theSam!!’s body language shifted to "warmer cues", designed to increase his likeability in theVillage!!.
He smiled alot more when quietly tapping his Tazer weapon, or when shifting his OuterBallisticVest around, or when touching his two ASP batons upon his duty belts.
he smiled more that year now that I recall,
He showed the palms of his hands (in “give me a hug gestures”) and appeared to "open his heart" by making expansive arm and hand gestures away from his chest, the SafetyExpert!! says.
especially at PotLatches when theVillageChixxx!! would crawl around his way with loads of potato salad, Moose meat, Soups and bread!!, then he acted like he was in love!!....with theFood.
He even bought OC / pepper spray that was in an “warm” color, like Red or Orange and stayed away from theLimeGreen or bright yellow brands.
Either that or he was just shaking off thePopTarts crumbs from his uniform and was seeing if he’d forgotten anything back in his Lodge room,
I mean, we’re talking about someone so forgetful at times, that he’d put a pop or his coffee mug ON his vehicle roof and then drive around theVillage!! that way, garnering stares, people pointing and trying to flag him down.
Ms Woods also adds, that theSam!! has just basically been a “has been”, a poor Goober!!, a nincompoop!!, an......
Honesty
So who has been the most honest VPSO candidate, in terms of body language?
Ms L. Ostin theWoods says it was former VPSO Sam!!, who dropped out of the race last month.
And what race was that!?
The one to hurry up and buy something at an convenience store in bitter cold weather, while on his way home from work, and he hit an Ice patch on the sidewalk and literally dropped right in front of an gravel truck that was hauling snow!!
When a person experiences emotion, it is revealed through their body language before they express it in words, she says.
"Watching theSam!!, you noticed his hand gestures always came before his words. That showed his statements were credible”
cos he threw theCoke & candy bars out of harms way first!!
-----------------------------------------
luvs, theSam!!
Blinking
Village Safety Officer hopefuls have been making a number of body language gaffes that could turn off theVillagers!!, according to VPSO expert L. Ostin Woods.
Lost has watched dozens of hours of theVPSO’s as they’ve searched theWoods for her, hopeful that they’d find her and her backpacks of Alcohol she was importing into theVillage!!
Each VPSO has spent a Porcupines age!! in campaigning out in theWoods, and literally dozens of VPSO’s from around theRegion have been documented via theVillageGrapeVine!! in studying their non-verbal cues
- signals such as “I give up” hand & arm gestures,
“where theHell did they go!?“ postures,
-“oh no, I’m gonna be late for dinner at Granma’s house cos I’m tracking her granddaughter” facial expressions
-or “Come out now, where are You!?“ frustrated tones of voice,
especially when leading theVPSO‘s through stands of Douglas fir or into acres of fallen timber. (every village has at least one or theOther somewhere close by)
theVillage!! VPSO candidate, theSam!!, blinks the most frequently of the currently serving Safeties, and when doing so exposes issues he is nervous about, Ostin Woods says.
Issues like,
having chased someone by foot through theWoods and then getting lost,
or having chased someone through theWoods, hearing “His own” vehicle start and drive away and he abandons his pursuit to go look for his car,
or perhaps his SofLenses are needing refreshing drops of “BlinkenClean” cos he’s past his 20th hour of being awake and will probably get to sleep in another 8hrs and can then remove his SofLenses.... maybe tomorrow!?
'Laser eyes'
L.Ostin Woods says theSam!! has "laser-focus eye contact", which can make whoever he is talking to feel like they are the only person in the room,
something he shares with over half theLEO‘s in uniform inState, and not to mention all of theSchool teachers and all the church nuns inState as well.
People with LFEC / laser focus eye contact, can make you feel, Like you’ve just been caught importing alcohol INTO theVillage!!, as well as having just been singled out for being late on yesterdays turning in of last weeks homework assignment,
ggeeezzz louuisse.... So much for opting to turn in an silly report for 4th grade class when being theDARE school officer!!,
*sigh*
But, theLocal VillagePriest!! adds, the SouthDakota boys body language often changes "dramatically",
like an Inebriate depending on his audience, whether it’s theVillageCouncil, theTribalCourtOfficers or just his own reflection in theVanity mirror!!
theFather says: "The way theSamma!! just morphs from SamBrown belt wearing to OuterBallisticVest wearing in a matter of hours just makes me uncomfortable.
I'm uneasy with someone who can transform himself so completely that we lose his essence, much like we’ve lost his presence from theVillage!! time and time again when ever he’s gotten himself lost in theWoods again.”
Somebody buy theSam!! a gps unit please!!
Power cues
OstinWoods says Mr Samney!! benefits in terms of likeability from being handsome, well. *ahem*.. sort of.
At least his hair is combed now and his t shirts are on RightSide Out when ever he shows up in a hurry for any gunCalls,
Other benefits listed his height at 6‘ 1“, a "power cue". And sometimes with his cute moHawk hairdo spiked up from Bedheaded-ness!! to 6’ 3 & 1 1/4in.
theOfficer!!‘s arrest tracking history has shown the taller of the last two VillageChixxx!! prisoners in an “Escape from Custody” race usually wins.
Also!!, Making a fist is another power cue, a masculine gesture designed to show theVillageChick!! escapee is tough, apparently tougher than her detainer theSam!!
Ms Lostin Woods says thePresident of theVillageCouncil!! had began using this power cue more during his 2000, 2002, 2003 and 2005 election campaigns, when theCriticSam!! questioned his importations involvements of Alcohol brought into theVillage!! during those respective time frames,
as, it seems to show via Arrest reports and old VPSO logbooks, that theCouncilPresident was in custody a few times during those respective years and upon release from Jail,
was “moved” by anger, by hangovers or by pressure from fellow AlcoholImportation sympathizers to work against theSam!! and thus to stick theFist out!!
if only it could be thrust “down” from being cuffed behind theBack and theMiddle finger extended!!
Shaking the head
However, Ms L. OstinWoodz says former Minto governor-of-Inebriates!! Mr Samney!! suffers from a "nose-growing Pinocchio lying cue". especially when blogging about his experiences in theVillage!! years later,
much can be said with a few bottles of SmirnoffOrange, some RC and coke drinks close by, an female friend quietly sleeping behind him and his 3 musical instruments within easy reach!!
yes, yes, Much!!
*hiccup!!*
The VillagePublicSafety!!Expat - who has taught interview techniques to police by actually being stopped and detained by them just walking home from work Late LATE at night!!- says there is something suspicious about someone making an affirmative statement, such as "I am innocent", while shaking their head “No”
Or, “why yes, that hairstyle looks great!!” while removing hair clip and starting to braid or style his girlfriends hair!!
Or, while swearing his allegiance to his fave ServerGirlChick!! and yet hugging all his other “faves” on shift!! How two faced and suspicious is that!?
theSam!!’s latest girlfriend adds to his Blog while he‘s in theShower:
“he does this all the time, making positive statements, such as theVillage!! people are the greatest in theState!!', but then shaking his head 'No'."
However, I don’t mind it when he’s shaking his head No while I stand on my head from “spelling out Y-M-C-A” with my body and his chin is shaking against my........
'Steepling'
theSafety!! candidate from SouthDakota, meanwhile, can appear unfeminine, for example, by losing his Past-theShoulders long hair and going Mohawk!!,
thus “steepling” his lil’ hairDo into an odd Pyramid or Steeple shape designed to actually make him look taller,
erhh...
and other ways of appearing unfeminine can be talking in a low voice, theVillage!! body language expert says.
But with the 8 year Spate of “hey You!!” and other silly greetings spouted by theSam!! in a sing-songy voice, often to no one in particular, Mz Lostin doesn’t see theSam!! as being masculine any time soon.
"Even in spite of the fact when he 'steeples' [joining the fingertips of both hands] when he talks, an unusual gesture for theOfficer!! and more of an 'Alpha male' power signal, with phallic connotations," Ms L. OstinWoodz adds.
Mz Ostin believes the former PublicSafety!! was genuine when s / he appeared to choke back tears at an recent downtown Anchorage fast food eatery while addressing nervous staff just before acting like he was back in Primary!! (school that is).
Apparently theFastFood joint had removed an certain beloved “cheeseCake” item from the menu and theSam!! was shaken to theCore by this act of betrayal.
..................and after basically winning anything in theVillage!!, just because he’s theLaw!!
theSam!! often gloats and goes to sleep happy,
an term he calls Sheepling!!, as in, he’s theBoss and everyone else is just soft little sheep...
'Warmer cues'
But theSafetyOfficer!! expert adds that in the past MrSimpletonSam!! has been "one of the worst offenders" for showing emotion which comes across as rehearsed.
Was he actually standing curbside weeks ago waiting for a cab with his full length mirrors in hand to do nothing other than practice musical insturments in front of!!
or was it to practice his “hey you!!’s” and his thrusting out of theHands impromptu for Hugs at work!!
Ms Wood says that during the year 2002 VPSO CuffthePrisoner contest, theSam!!’s body language shifted to "warmer cues", designed to increase his likeability in theVillage!!.
He smiled alot more when quietly tapping his Tazer weapon, or when shifting his OuterBallisticVest around, or when touching his two ASP batons upon his duty belts.
he smiled more that year now that I recall,
He showed the palms of his hands (in “give me a hug gestures”) and appeared to "open his heart" by making expansive arm and hand gestures away from his chest, the SafetyExpert!! says.
especially at PotLatches when theVillageChixxx!! would crawl around his way with loads of potato salad, Moose meat, Soups and bread!!, then he acted like he was in love!!....with theFood.
He even bought OC / pepper spray that was in an “warm” color, like Red or Orange and stayed away from theLimeGreen or bright yellow brands.
Either that or he was just shaking off thePopTarts crumbs from his uniform and was seeing if he’d forgotten anything back in his Lodge room,
I mean, we’re talking about someone so forgetful at times, that he’d put a pop or his coffee mug ON his vehicle roof and then drive around theVillage!! that way, garnering stares, people pointing and trying to flag him down.
Ms Woods also adds, that theSam!! has just basically been a “has been”, a poor Goober!!, a nincompoop!!, an......
Honesty
So who has been the most honest VPSO candidate, in terms of body language?
Ms L. Ostin theWoods says it was former VPSO Sam!!, who dropped out of the race last month.
And what race was that!?
The one to hurry up and buy something at an convenience store in bitter cold weather, while on his way home from work, and he hit an Ice patch on the sidewalk and literally dropped right in front of an gravel truck that was hauling snow!!
When a person experiences emotion, it is revealed through their body language before they express it in words, she says.
"Watching theSam!!, you noticed his hand gestures always came before his words. That showed his statements were credible”
cos he threw theCoke & candy bars out of harms way first!!
-----------------------------------------
luvs, theSam!!
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