Sam!!'s Cold-Dead PublicSafetyCareer!!

Luminaries attend Heston's funeral

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Charlton Heston has been remembered at his funeral as devoutly religious and patriotic -- a man who was an imposing figure both in his politics and on the big screen.
----

theSam!!Sez,
actually, fans just wanted to see theCasket being pulled by twoRomanGrieco loin clad pallbearers, while thePriest-Acting as TaskMaster!!

whipped theRest of thePallBearers along as theyPushed theCoffin into it's final resting place!!

Just after theHeston sarcoffigus was erected into place and stood proudly, everyone realized it was upsideDown!!
----

Heston died a week ago at age 84 in his Beverly Hills home following a battle with Alzheimer's disease.
Today's funeral took place in the church where he worshipped.
About 300 people attended the funeral, including family members, politicians and actors.

----

theSam!! continues.... WTF

But not for lack of trying though, as Heston took into battle with him when he ran out of that garage, to face the crowd,

his DesertEagle-babyElephantGun with small yield, Nu klear tipped warheads that were so smart, them Bombs!!,

They didn't knock at Terrorists doors politely like a SAM or a Tomahawk did,

instead they sent flowers first and an email link to entice you to build up some Anime chicks!! wardrobe and hoosie flower collection!!

but then Heston realized that he forgot NOT ONLY his sidearms, but theMac 10 with Suppressor, theWinchester-Quadruple-Sentatuplet-of-a-Triplet!!-in SingleAction pistoned-Levered battle rifle,

sort of an Carbines carbean!!
And even then he Limped out to face theOmegaCrowd,

Limped he did, cos those pesky damn dirtyApes!! were still hangingOnto him with their filthy little paws and clinging to his ankles,

which really made things worse when facing angry ChariotRace / old school friends / chums he'd banged servant girls with!! Thumbs Up cos,

It was times like these that Heston never knew if, when drawing his .50caliber "preyingMantis" looking Insectisoid SniperRifle from his AnkleHolster-that he'd not draw out a Banana Instead!! Blank Stare

Even THEN!! ol' Al z. Heims!! was making himself known to Carlton.
Al would chase him around like a nubile servant girl runs from a laughing Midget 'round and round and over & under feasting Israelites.

taunting and chanting, chanting and taunting him,

making him lose his mind, taunting like Michael!! "We are theWorld", We are the...
*BANG!!*
----

A frail Nancy Reagan entered the church on the arm of Tom Selleck. Following the nearly 2-hour ceremony, the former first lady left with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Other notables from Heston's Hollywood history included Olivia DeHavilland, Keith Carradine, Pat Boone, Oliver Stone and Rob Reiner.
----

Uh Oh
geebus heebus... What started out as a fun wordy jab at an Favorite Actor of mine, quickly turned into work didn't it?!

Anyway.
nancy, clearly theOne whom DIDN'T lose her MIND here,
only left with a gorgeous hunk of a man because, a chance like that would never happen again, and besides,

her chin was pointier and sharper than Marias, THUS she got her way "wit Ahnold!!"

Olivia D. was still typeCast as theDamsel in distress at theFuneral proceedings, so,
in a clean, pure wholesome fit of demure rage,

*Poof!!*

in a flash, she was Gone like theWind But...

she wasn't quite fast enough before Keith C., deflected her to theSide with his SwoopingCrane handStrike and quickly swept her under theAwards red Carpet!!

where she joined Pat B., Oliver S. and Rob R., cos,
theSam!! doesn't know whom those guys are,

one probably did AcidRock, one probably had worse fortune than theJoyLuckClub!! and the last, well, he was probably still Sleepless!! (albeit, NOT in seattle anymore)
----

Heston was 1 of the biggest box-office draws of the 1950s, '60s and '70s. In recent years, he became better known for his conservative politics and position on gun rights as head of the National Rifle Association.
----

he'd Pride himself on his speeches to theDamn dirty apes still clinging to his feet.

"Let my Dockers go!!"

but his best talks were to his actual formica & wood cabinet at home!!

While he waved his Gold-plated turn of theCentury Flintlock Rifle!! that was "given" to him by theDeparting NRA president Wayne lPierre,

whom, after thePhotoOps tried to wrest theRifle from Hestons *ACTUAL!!* cold, bony "Live" hands but

then "Al z. Heimez" stepped up, tapped Heston on theShoulder making Heston think that Wayne was a Gun confiscating Nazi!!

and thus, Heston cursed Wayne with frogs!!,
30,000 tons of flyers, letters and stupid magazines Pleading for $,
AND!!

that his next presidency be for NAMBLA!!
Loser
----

luvs, theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, ak

R.I.P. Moses!!,
God just called you to audition for him!!

Happy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Poop Moose Has Bottomed Out!!!

theSam!! vs YouTube!?

ELECTION DAY 2006