villageFrendz!!

villageFrendz!!
Villagers Finally Realize Everyone Never Drinks

Village!! friends ?

----

More Quotes Ripped from theInet!! and commented upon by theSam!! d:oP

-Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you.

theSam!! sez:
And that friend sure likes to see you go about daily life totallyOblivious!! and totallyObvious!! to the facts that

they saw your PowerPuffGirls!! backPack sitting by theSchoolSwingset when you first played with theKidz!! during summer break,

Your "friend" knows this, cos he still has thePolaroid photo submitted to ALL theStateTroops via their monthly PostNewsLetter!!

come to think of it,

why was an Trooper smiling at me the other day when I was sitting on theBus!?

-confused!!- d:o(

-A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.

theSam!! sez:
if this is "any" consolation to anyone having any hopes of anybody ever ever NOT shedding any last Vestiges / shreds of human decency etc,

and still standing by their friends and supporting them when theChips are down etc,

then I'm an full-blown penniless, Jail inhabiting Homeless Alcoholic!! (even though I only started drinking 2-3x a month just 9 months ago and still have 2 wonderful fulfilling jobs thank you!!)

Read on!!
(and trust me, we're talking about theVillage!! here, it's NOT any consol.....

a Village!!'d friend is one who comes into YOUR house when you've gone to jail and will take NOT your food, nor your possessions,

but those alcohol bottles that you've acquired over theYears from bootlegging!!

who cares about eating or having worldly things!!,
Prestige, Esteem and Bragging rights to theBiggest collection of alcohol containers is where itz at!!

oh...
and maybe a few DOT / dept of transportation Roadcrew construction / road symbol signs too stacked in theCorner!!'z

a VillageFiend!! is one who comes into YOUR house when you've gone to jail and will take NOT your food, nor your possessions,

but will totallly, like,

reprogram dozens and dozens of channels on your Satellite tv to Latino SoapOpera's, SesameStreet series,

Jazz!!Greats music tv, SpongeBob & Patrick!!,

Country & Western Hits and DeathMetal music tv......
and then will fill your "OneTreeHill" tivo memoryCard with "goldenGirls!!" reRuns!!

and they'll do it just for stealing "their" vcr from them 18yrs ago,
this after you loaned them Your vcr to use and then took it back!!

What theHell!?,
just blame Sam!! anyway, he was looking for Alcohol and saw you had cableTV and sat down to watch some shows and then he ate your popcorn!!

ehh!!, at least that's just ONE story your friends tell you over and over, in Jail!!, at fishCamp!!,

and right after fishCamp while you go BACK to jail!!

and right after leaving jail to head BACK to FishCamp and prior to you BOTH going
BACK TO JAIL for importing booze INTO FishCamp

and got sent to jail for it!!

I'll stop now.

-Friends are family you choose for yourself.

theSam!! sez:
but if only You'd chosen friends with NO stomachs or NO hands then wouldn't life be great!!

cos then You'd have all theBooze for yourself!!, but NNOOOO!!
You gotta hide everything from Everyone and / or else drink it allllllll at once so not one of your "family" will enjoy your happiness.

hhhmmmmmm...
Now if only you hadn't made a bad first impression that week and instead,

Your young Niece HAD shared that MooseSoup, FriedBread and jello with Sam!! BEFORE she ate it all and then drank a halfGallon of CaptMorganz!!-then Shared with theSam!!

all over his VPSO uniform.

Well. at least Your family wears uniforms too!!
Orange colored,

and emblazoned across theBack with the words, "StateProperty"
-embarrassed- d:o/

-The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.


theSam!! sez:
No,

theMost you can do when your friend has gone OFF to jail for months is still keep theLightOn and theHouseWarm for your friends significantOther & kidz!!

but you're not your friends friend are you!?
no...

You can just simply pick up theBottle,

carry theImmense burden of theAlcohol ladened backPack and quickStep through theForest or drive reallyFast in theDark with noHeadlights IN your friends newTruck!!

then you smoke / toke up theProfits from your cashWindfall and then sexuallyAssault your friendsWomen and beat his kidz

before theSam!! takes you into custody and sends you to bunk with your "Friend" in state custody,

after all,
that's what friends are for!!
to stick with each other to theEnd!!

of your jail sentences.
-sad- d:o(

-The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

theSam!! sez:
I gotta hand it to theWomen!! here, those cute, bubbly, vivacious, ever happy VillageChixxx!!

they see theMost growth in theVillage!!,
9months at a time!!

In fact, theSam!! can be literally pulling one VillageChick!! off theOther cos One's so mad that theOther is having "her man's child"

that she's hell bent on aborting thePregnancy by any means possible and then, a month later,

both VillageChixxx!! move in together and are sisters to their dying day.

Really though,
without friends where would we all be!!

besides inCustody!!, inTrouble!!, inTransport!! with theSam!!
------------------------------------

luvs,
Yor VillageFriend!!

theSam!!

slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska

-alaskavillagetales-

Comments

Anonymous said…
Surprise Sam!! some of these computers and what can happen is crazy. On this machine I can get code but not on the other one. I like this one about friends - it really make a person think.

lbj

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