theSam!!'s VillageWorld Comes To an End!!
As inspired by an friend on another Forum,
She posted this and got theSam!! to blinkin'!! (not thinkin')
http://discovermagazine.com/2000/oct/featworld
20 Ways the World Could End
Swept away.
by Corey S. Powell
20 Ways theVillageWorld Could End!!
theSam!! Says!!
1 A steroid impact
Pardon me for writing all this,
But here in theVillage!!, as of late!!, one of theOlder!! but still young, VillageChixxx!! has taken it upon herself to “lead theYouth” and so she stepped into theRole of Mentor, Model and now....Detainee!!
as, I recently stopped her vehicle and amongst other contraband, she had NOT Illegal drug syringes per se (thank god) but bodybuilding injectables,
None of these other Scientific scenarios really affects us “much” way out here, but then again, they do and this new addition of drug Paraphenalia to theVillage!! just adds to our own list of Ways OUR village!! world has already ended!!
-sad- d:o(
As for theStereoImpact!!
lessJuss say, that for every ClockHour past 10p.m. will equal 10decibals extra that an Responding PublicSafetyOfficer!!, to any emergency or more specifically, to any disturbance,
will be turning theVolume higher of his sleepy, Massage music CD’s of LareenaMcKennit, Enya, Clannad!! OR else, any available CountryMusic FM radio station
Enough sed.
2 Gamma-ray burst
Two things,
# 1.
theSam!! is afar off on an Mtn peak, having driven 90minutes to get there and is 50miles away from theVillage!! straight across theValley!! as the crowFlies,
and as theSam!!’s 2millionCandlePowered Sam’sClubSpecial spotLight overwhelms thePickupCabin of 3 bootLeggerz in an instant,
and a couple of villagers!! back in theVillage!! briefly see theFlash!! before it fades and from there you can imagine theRest of theStory!!, but for youNewbs to theSam!! and his VillageLife!!
it goes like this,
theSam!! contacts Bootleggers and takes away their alcohol & drugs, and at times he does this activity ALONE and without any immediate help or immediate backup from any other LEO agency
This work is done way out in theVillage!!, and is done very well I might add, as there are many fine VPSO’s whom serve that often have to detect, observe, plan and then “burst” their Light and Influence upon wayward Villagers!! and
do detain, investigate and confiscate all Contraband!!
and.....
# 2.
Granma Ray’s outburst!!
this Flash!! in theVillage!! is both SEEN and HEARD at once
and often is felt and experienced before your cranium has time to even comprehend that anything of such global magnitude
could ever come from such an petite, cute wrinkled bag of bones like lil’ ol’ Granma!!
Trust us, when she wants something, or wants theDrinkingParty!! out of her house,
she’ll not only grab KooperzBelt,
she’ll grab her incrediblyPelting!! diamondWillowCane!! and rain down softBall sized bruises, welts and bumps upon thee!!
just ask Sam!!
-silly- d:oP
Her outburst might not end YOUR world, but it’ll certainly Rock, knock and stop your Party fo sho!!
3 Collapse of the vacuum!!
There exists in every Village!!, an house.
Usually several DOZEN of these HUD implored, HUD funded!! and HUD overSight-as they were Built!!-shelters or domiciles for various generations of Villagers!!
not to mention theAbode, albeit for a short time!!, of an SafetyOfficer,
and in these houses, there exists at least 3 rooms each!! that are dirt ridden, food & beverage stained and blood stained too!!
And if you dare introduce an anomaly like an actual “Vacuam!!” into the equation.
theLaws of VillagePhysics will thereafter “suspend” and in all probability cease to exist!!
In fact, it’s been proven that out of 16 VPSO’s that have to clean their AcademyDormRooms!!
6 will get smart and drop out of Academy class and the other 11 knuckleheads will continue on and go back to theVillage!! as full-Fledged Occifers!!
and what that has to do with vacuams at this time,
I.....
I lost my train of thought after....”6 will get smart”...
oh...
yeah. here it is....
and the other 11 knuckleheads will continue on in Academy and not ONLY Vacuam their DormRooms and Wipe down all 4 walls including every square inch of Vanity / dresser bureau, chairs, bedframes
but at least 3 of these remaining 11 will continue this Annoying habit thereAfter!! AFTER Academy!!
.......*sigh*............
and at least one Officer will at least “blog” about cleaning his room once in awhile!!
Cos, for now, his vacuam given him, by his jamaicanLandLady’mon!!,
to use while he rents theApt has gone completelyKaput!!
it’s Innards completelyCollapsed!! theFirst week of use and thereafter it sat still.....
silent.......
quiet.......
unused.......
kinda like an certain “Blog” should we think,
As for “Water”.
when theSam!! asked his german-Speaking “Russian” girlfriend if she wanted Ice with her Vodka
she said “Nien!!”
4 Rogue black holes
I’ve said it before, that there exists in everyVillage!!
a googalPlex!! of blackHoles!!
an mosquitoSwarm!! of Interstellar beasts that rip and tear theVeryFabric of PublicSafety as we know it!!
What evidence we now have, and at great expense / of life / and limb!! of the existence of these $ / Money portals that suck in Dollars and make absolutely no Cents!! is that they’re called VillageTribalCouncils!!
They’re called VillageTribalCourts!!,
They’re called VillageConsortiums!!.
They’re called VillageCorporationz!! and theLike...
Only those that have crossed theThreshHold,
the”Marriage”EventHorizon!! of these beasts have never been heard from again.
Only one Officer that we know of, had not only crossed theThreshHold!! w/Huge, IncrediblyCute!!, Lipped & Busty!!, GoodLooking VillageChick!! in his arms time and time again,
by carrying her home from school!!, carrying her Books, DOING her homework!!
...........even doing her Chores!!
but even this Officer was promptly chased “BACK!!” across theHouseHold
ThreshHold!!,
theDoorJamb!!, past theArcticEntry!! and OFF thePorch
.........even DOWN theStreet!! and finally.
OUT of theVillage!!
Yep.
OfficerSam!!
BeenThere DoneThat!!
.........and Lived!!
5 Giant solar flares
These phenomenon all mostly occur to theVillageKidz!!, and to VillageChixxx!! and to cute lil’ Pink, Puffy, blind and mewling SledDogPups!!
As theStalkeratziSam!! always slept with a PopTart wrapper and his SonyMavica CD-200 camera in hand when he once was Out in theVillage!!
Even Villagers!! don’t know why these Disruptive, problematic behaviors erupt from theSam!! whenever theVillage!! partyNightLife!! plunges into another Ice & Beer UnderAge festival, but they do know one thing,
is that VillageKidz!! are faster than cockRoaches fleeing from theLight!!
Cos even though theSam!! can interupt a ROOMFull of partyers, by time he lifts his SonyCam!! and snaps a picture (complete with SolarRay ReadyLight!! magniFlash)
NOTHING!! is there on display in the resultant photograph BUT the darn cockRoaches!!
and some of THEM!! immediately thrust out ModelReleaseContractForms, FeesUse and ImageCopyRight forms,
Product-Label-Image-PersonalityIndemnityBonds and Leasing forms, plus Cascading Residuals & royalties forms!!
Sheeesh!!
6 Reversal of Earth's magnetic field
“Every few hundred thousand years Earth's magnetic field dwindles almost to nothing for perhaps a century, then gradually reappears with the north and south poles flipped.”
Out in theVillage!!
this SAME anomylousEvent!! happens every OTHER year or two, maybe every 3 yrs.
It’s called, ELECTIONS!! and all the LeadingFamilies battle it out to Elect a VillageLeader!! from THEIR family BloodLines so that they can have an StrangleHold upon VillagePower!!
But little does anyone know that “he whom has theGold, theGunz, theRide, theFood and theKnowledge-Rules!!”
Yeppers.
Everyone, now and then, gets tipped on their head-Including Sam!!
And they dwindle for a few hours, days or weeks, but then they gradually reAppear!!
Sorta like that oneVillageChick!! that quietly disappeared,
and briefly appeared now and then (with EVER ExpandingTummy!!) and then she reAppeared again with a small, fragile bundle in her arms!!
Ya’ know....
for awhile, thatChick!! was center of theUniverse,
was focus of all theSam!!’s solarFlareOutbursts!!
in fact, she’s where much of his VPSO funds got sucked into!!
-silly- d:oP
As for any Villagers!! actually flipping as well.
When Most of them CAN’T Run away from theSam!!, they can’t “flip” their feet, they can’t “paddle“, they can’t “Tromp on Out of there!!” etc,
So in futility they “flip” theOtherEnd of themselves (their MiddleFingers) at theSafetyOfficers and stop attempting to flee.
7 Flood-basalt volcanism
yes, yes.
Some things just “come out” hot, scalding!!
Just erupting and spewing,
just oozing down her Visage onto Cleavage!!
omg..... am I saying this!?
But isn’t that a hand-in Hand thing!!
Isolation, coHabitation, Volcanastic eruption!? !!
8 Gerbil epidemics!!
So far,
theSam!! has seen just 3 Hampsters out in theVillage!!
and 2 Hammocks!!
3 Ham Hocks for dinner!!
and 8 clothing Hampers while looking for Drugs.
Frankly I don’t see how Pets, sleepingSwings, Food or dirtyLinen could end theWorld,
but then again, I never really had to buy ANY of these things either.
I just saw them when visiting, eating or Searching!!
9 Gerbil warming ?!
Is this a Trick question?!
I’d say either theMicrowave, theOven or theWoodBurningStove!!
and yet again, I don’t quite frankly see, just how this could end theWorld!!
Now.
If this was an “Verbal Warning!!” instead, then I might see how this could end an Villagers!! world real quick.
How it could cut through theHaze!!, remove an Inebriate!! from his cocoon of Warmth & Comfort!!
How it could also stop theSam!! from erupting any more SolarFlare CameraFlashes and stop taking pictures of cute VillageChixxx!!
-glum- d:o(
10 VillageEgo!! system collapse
-shock!!- d:oO
this happens all theTime on Saturdays and Sundays in the homes of theAffluent and theUnTouched!!
When they fight over theLast Pancake or batch of bacon, when the realization that their OrangeJuice is gone!! GONE!!
They drank it up theNightBefore!! while partying. And who left theDoors unlocked!!
Who was last one to passOut!? There’s nothing left to drink.
even theCranBerryJuice is gone!!
But noOne remembers drinking THAT up, and they argue,
and halfway across theVillage!!,
theSam!! sits at his office computer typing up reports and forms,
quietly sipping “HIS” cranberry juice while theMarriedCouple and friends argue over theLast EggoWaffle to eat,
Anything to get food in their stomachs and to get theAlcoholAfterTaste out of their mouths, but in theMidst of shouting and shoving,
theLastEggo!! falls to the floor and everyone gasps in horror as “Scruffy” theYoung sledDogPup eats it,
delights in the syrupy-buttery flavor and then he trots on over by his Masterz boots and collapses to sleep!!
11 Biotech disaster!!
Everyone in theVillage!! is busy smokingSuperWEED!! and theSam!! is being a SuperPEST!! about it.
Every Pot and Pipe confiscation is such a disaster to each villageHouseHOLD!!
Every Bic pen “body”, every tube of rolled up TinFoil taken by theOfficer!! is a crime against VillageHumanity!!
oh theHumiliation!!
*inhales / sucking Sounds!!*
12 Particle accelerator mishap
“London's Sunday Times reported that the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) on Long Island, New York, might create a subatomic black hole that would slowly nibble away our planet. Alternately, it might create exotic bits of altered matter, called strangelets, that would obliterate whatever ordinary matter they met.”
Oddly enough, out in theVillage!! we also have out own RHIC’s every day!!
These “Really High, Inebriate Contacts!!” or to put it another way, we Officers have daily “contact” with “Really High, Inebriated” villagers!!
In fact,
One Village neighborhood that I patrolled, had about 3-4 cross streets and 4 Longitudinal / Long streets that, when doing just ONE complete driving circuit was about 2 miles around,
from what scientific reading I’ve done in the past on these IonColliders, is that scientists smash atoms from really heavy elements like “Gold” together by sending these Elements around an 2mile circuit track using magnetic fields
and then theScientists send another element racing around the circuit track in theOpposite direction and they analyze theCrash test results and “Images” they gather of theEvent.
It’s really cool,
Cos during HighSchool when I got on an Astronomy binge for a year and read up on everything and anything I could find about science.
I could sense that, from an Point of View of “Who Made All of This Happen?!”
That an higher Intelligence / a God / theCreator was theOne that made everything.
And long ago when I read about how scientists send elements round and round a circuit track and then smash them together and see what happens,
I thought that was the end of my involvement in the subject. That I’d never ever be an “scientist” way out in theVillage!!
I never knew that by being an VPSO, and that my influence and Presence in theVillage!! would often send the”Bad Elements” of theVillage!!,
whom were carrying heavy loads of “Goldschlager”, racing around trying to get away from me and eventually we would collide, or meet!!
and then an ArrestEvent!! would occur, erh..
Usually after a brief flash of Violence, of altercation, a brief contest of wills etc.
Yep.
Science is a daily occurance out here in theVillage!!
Unfortunately, I’m still sitting in theVillageCorner!!
wearing theDunce!! cap
-sad- d:o(
13 Nanotechnology disaster!!
Gray goo!!
Hmmpphhh!!
Mine is pearly white!!
-Happy!!- d:oD
If you think about it,
things already blow about upon theWind, upon theAir, and are carried about to and fro.
it’s called Perfume!!
And theWomen!! are already using this “Essence” to wreak havoc upon Mankind’s senses,
destroying his Logic, his Reasoning and his financial & Physical Health!!
theOnly Cool thing I could see coming from Tiny microScopic machines replicating themselves and building things up and maintaining things would be,
if BreastImplants on Women!! could be done like this.
To have some of that superWater, the 9 water!! just recreate itself all nice, gooey and firm!!
If this could be done in my LifeTime then I’d buy stock in the participating companies!!
14 Environmental toxins
Wow..
Our Villagers!! sometimes belch dioxins after drinking or toking!!
And our villageHeavyMetals that spread are those expensive alcohol bottled drinks that contain flecks of Real Gold and Silver!!
Even theWorm!! is alive and kicking when someone drinks it down!!
even when I’m cooking on theHotPlate!! in my LodgeRoom!!
My essence of Hamburger, reinDeer Sausage and Potatos & Eggs just waft throughout theLodge and disturb all theGuests, OfficeWorkers and visitors!!
Strange how no one complains when I make FriedBread!!
15 Global war
Willful SelfDestruction.
In a word, for us Natives,
ALCOHOL!!
I know, I know. I TOO drink!!
But I’m on this nice friendly side of theSpectrum and not living on 3rd of 4th Ave and begging for $,
being totally unclean and no Possessions, no Hopes, no Dreams,
I guess that I would whole heartedly support this item.
And for a time, I did show that support by enlisting at one time!!
I became a small part, a small moving, expendable part of theMilitaryMachine that is our U.S. Armed forces.
I believe in our Nation AS IT IS today.
I believe that every man, woman & child “Legally” here within theBorders of my Country have a right to be protected from harm, from our Enemies, at all costs,
Because on a much smaller scale,
a Village!! scale, that those few people, those Sober people who want alcohol to NOT be in theVillage!!
and whom do not want Violence and Abuse-that come with Alcohol (eventually) to be in their midst,
Their feelings, their wishes and their Demands I do obey.
And I stop Cars of suspected Bootleggers, and Everyone gets out, and I search for Alcohol.
Most often I am guided in my searches by Information passed to me by reliable sources,
Sources whom have proven to be honest, useful and unbiased!!
It is theVillageInnocent!! that I act for,
I think nothing of doing Violence to Inebriate / DrugAltered people who resist me.
I physically manhandle them, put them down and restrain them with Cuffs or FlexTies right away.
I think nothing anymore, of drawing my Extendable / collapsible steelBaton and striking someone.
I draw, strike-strike, and reHolster so quickly, it’s second nature now, of me getting my way.
it’s scary,
it’s God-like,
it’s necessary to keep the peace.
What’s so scary about seeing Violent offenders in theVillage!!, is that even though they may be theOffending Ones at the moment,
They’re theVictims too.
Because they fell victim to theClutches of Willful Self-Destruction.
They fell victim to someone elses form of BiologicalWarfare, they fell under theSpell of an Liquid that ultimately carries DEATH to those that partake.
I know this when I take a drink now, here in theCity!!
Safe from the work in theVillage!! that I once did, safe from theDangerous job of keeping OthersSafe!!
And I wonder, after seeing International conflict, national conflict and now Local,
who’s now protecting me!?
16 Robots take over!!
yes sir!! They are.
“Hi, welcome to HeartAttackJax! May I take your order please!?”
or how about this one?
“If you type Text, I can speak.. words for you!!”
“Speak ads sell your product and enrich shopperz Internet time by providing a friendly voice to words you type......
the... Sum is a dumbb buutt. and.. his Noss is reeelly beg!!”
“I am Village and you aree are are Not!!”
“How dry eye amm,”
“yes sam, you are handsome and I am gullible, but I can kick yoo in the scroattem, ha ha ha ha”
17 Mass insanity
Every 20 days for about 8 days month after month this happens!!
Mass hysteria!!
Mass crying jags,
Mass silence,
Much pouting,
Much sniffling,
Sullenness,
Staring,
Sitting,
and that’s Just ME!!
never mind theGirls and their periods!!
18 Alien invasion
Ladies and gentleman,
theEagle has landed aeons ago!!
Civilizations have come and gone and theNatives will always be here, because we are survivors!!
19 Divine interventions
Great Massage website btw.
d:oP
hubba hubba hubba!!
Enough has been said and done all in theName of religion!!
I won’t beleaguer the point anymore.
I just hope that people would leave my halo alone!!
Get your own please!!
20 Someone wakes up and realizes it was all a dream
Yikes,
especially theHeavilyEndowed GoldenBlonde ones!!
who sulked 20days a month, were moody 8 days and spoke to me the other 3!!
Well, gotta go clean up now!!
-silliness!!- d:o)
-----------------------
When theSam!!'s world ends, let's hope that he's behind theWheel AND his passengers ARE SCREAMING!!
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
She posted this and got theSam!! to blinkin'!! (not thinkin')
http://discovermagazine.com/2000/oct/featworld
20 Ways the World Could End
Swept away.
by Corey S. Powell
20 Ways theVillageWorld Could End!!
theSam!! Says!!
1 A steroid impact
Pardon me for writing all this,
But here in theVillage!!, as of late!!, one of theOlder!! but still young, VillageChixxx!! has taken it upon herself to “lead theYouth” and so she stepped into theRole of Mentor, Model and now....Detainee!!
as, I recently stopped her vehicle and amongst other contraband, she had NOT Illegal drug syringes per se (thank god) but bodybuilding injectables,
None of these other Scientific scenarios really affects us “much” way out here, but then again, they do and this new addition of drug Paraphenalia to theVillage!! just adds to our own list of Ways OUR village!! world has already ended!!
-sad- d:o(
As for theStereoImpact!!
lessJuss say, that for every ClockHour past 10p.m. will equal 10decibals extra that an Responding PublicSafetyOfficer!!, to any emergency or more specifically, to any disturbance,
will be turning theVolume higher of his sleepy, Massage music CD’s of LareenaMcKennit, Enya, Clannad!! OR else, any available CountryMusic FM radio station
Enough sed.
2 Gamma-ray burst
Two things,
# 1.
theSam!! is afar off on an Mtn peak, having driven 90minutes to get there and is 50miles away from theVillage!! straight across theValley!! as the crowFlies,
and as theSam!!’s 2millionCandlePowered Sam’sClubSpecial spotLight overwhelms thePickupCabin of 3 bootLeggerz in an instant,
and a couple of villagers!! back in theVillage!! briefly see theFlash!! before it fades and from there you can imagine theRest of theStory!!, but for youNewbs to theSam!! and his VillageLife!!
it goes like this,
theSam!! contacts Bootleggers and takes away their alcohol & drugs, and at times he does this activity ALONE and without any immediate help or immediate backup from any other LEO agency
This work is done way out in theVillage!!, and is done very well I might add, as there are many fine VPSO’s whom serve that often have to detect, observe, plan and then “burst” their Light and Influence upon wayward Villagers!! and
do detain, investigate and confiscate all Contraband!!
and.....
# 2.
Granma Ray’s outburst!!
this Flash!! in theVillage!! is both SEEN and HEARD at once
and often is felt and experienced before your cranium has time to even comprehend that anything of such global magnitude
could ever come from such an petite, cute wrinkled bag of bones like lil’ ol’ Granma!!
Trust us, when she wants something, or wants theDrinkingParty!! out of her house,
she’ll not only grab KooperzBelt,
she’ll grab her incrediblyPelting!! diamondWillowCane!! and rain down softBall sized bruises, welts and bumps upon thee!!
just ask Sam!!
-silly- d:oP
Her outburst might not end YOUR world, but it’ll certainly Rock, knock and stop your Party fo sho!!
3 Collapse of the vacuum!!
There exists in every Village!!, an house.
Usually several DOZEN of these HUD implored, HUD funded!! and HUD overSight-as they were Built!!-shelters or domiciles for various generations of Villagers!!
not to mention theAbode, albeit for a short time!!, of an SafetyOfficer,
and in these houses, there exists at least 3 rooms each!! that are dirt ridden, food & beverage stained and blood stained too!!
And if you dare introduce an anomaly like an actual “Vacuam!!” into the equation.
theLaws of VillagePhysics will thereafter “suspend” and in all probability cease to exist!!
In fact, it’s been proven that out of 16 VPSO’s that have to clean their AcademyDormRooms!!
6 will get smart and drop out of Academy class and the other 11 knuckleheads will continue on and go back to theVillage!! as full-Fledged Occifers!!
and what that has to do with vacuams at this time,
I.....
I lost my train of thought after....”6 will get smart”...
oh...
yeah. here it is....
and the other 11 knuckleheads will continue on in Academy and not ONLY Vacuam their DormRooms and Wipe down all 4 walls including every square inch of Vanity / dresser bureau, chairs, bedframes
but at least 3 of these remaining 11 will continue this Annoying habit thereAfter!! AFTER Academy!!
.......*sigh*............
and at least one Officer will at least “blog” about cleaning his room once in awhile!!
Cos, for now, his vacuam given him, by his jamaicanLandLady’mon!!,
to use while he rents theApt has gone completelyKaput!!
it’s Innards completelyCollapsed!! theFirst week of use and thereafter it sat still.....
silent.......
quiet.......
unused.......
kinda like an certain “Blog” should we think,
As for “Water”.
when theSam!! asked his german-Speaking “Russian” girlfriend if she wanted Ice with her Vodka
she said “Nien!!”
4 Rogue black holes
I’ve said it before, that there exists in everyVillage!!
a googalPlex!! of blackHoles!!
an mosquitoSwarm!! of Interstellar beasts that rip and tear theVeryFabric of PublicSafety as we know it!!
What evidence we now have, and at great expense / of life / and limb!! of the existence of these $ / Money portals that suck in Dollars and make absolutely no Cents!! is that they’re called VillageTribalCouncils!!
They’re called VillageTribalCourts!!,
They’re called VillageConsortiums!!.
They’re called VillageCorporationz!! and theLike...
Only those that have crossed theThreshHold,
the”Marriage”EventHorizon!! of these beasts have never been heard from again.
Only one Officer that we know of, had not only crossed theThreshHold!! w/Huge, IncrediblyCute!!, Lipped & Busty!!, GoodLooking VillageChick!! in his arms time and time again,
by carrying her home from school!!, carrying her Books, DOING her homework!!
...........even doing her Chores!!
but even this Officer was promptly chased “BACK!!” across theHouseHold
ThreshHold!!,
theDoorJamb!!, past theArcticEntry!! and OFF thePorch
.........even DOWN theStreet!! and finally.
OUT of theVillage!!
Yep.
OfficerSam!!
BeenThere DoneThat!!
.........and Lived!!
5 Giant solar flares
These phenomenon all mostly occur to theVillageKidz!!, and to VillageChixxx!! and to cute lil’ Pink, Puffy, blind and mewling SledDogPups!!
As theStalkeratziSam!! always slept with a PopTart wrapper and his SonyMavica CD-200 camera in hand when he once was Out in theVillage!!
Even Villagers!! don’t know why these Disruptive, problematic behaviors erupt from theSam!! whenever theVillage!! partyNightLife!! plunges into another Ice & Beer UnderAge festival, but they do know one thing,
is that VillageKidz!! are faster than cockRoaches fleeing from theLight!!
Cos even though theSam!! can interupt a ROOMFull of partyers, by time he lifts his SonyCam!! and snaps a picture (complete with SolarRay ReadyLight!! magniFlash)
NOTHING!! is there on display in the resultant photograph BUT the darn cockRoaches!!
and some of THEM!! immediately thrust out ModelReleaseContractForms, FeesUse and ImageCopyRight forms,
Product-Label-Image-PersonalityIndemnityBonds and Leasing forms, plus Cascading Residuals & royalties forms!!
Sheeesh!!
6 Reversal of Earth's magnetic field
“Every few hundred thousand years Earth's magnetic field dwindles almost to nothing for perhaps a century, then gradually reappears with the north and south poles flipped.”
Out in theVillage!!
this SAME anomylousEvent!! happens every OTHER year or two, maybe every 3 yrs.
It’s called, ELECTIONS!! and all the LeadingFamilies battle it out to Elect a VillageLeader!! from THEIR family BloodLines so that they can have an StrangleHold upon VillagePower!!
But little does anyone know that “he whom has theGold, theGunz, theRide, theFood and theKnowledge-Rules!!”
Yeppers.
Everyone, now and then, gets tipped on their head-Including Sam!!
And they dwindle for a few hours, days or weeks, but then they gradually reAppear!!
Sorta like that oneVillageChick!! that quietly disappeared,
and briefly appeared now and then (with EVER ExpandingTummy!!) and then she reAppeared again with a small, fragile bundle in her arms!!
Ya’ know....
for awhile, thatChick!! was center of theUniverse,
was focus of all theSam!!’s solarFlareOutbursts!!
in fact, she’s where much of his VPSO funds got sucked into!!
-silly- d:oP
As for any Villagers!! actually flipping as well.
When Most of them CAN’T Run away from theSam!!, they can’t “flip” their feet, they can’t “paddle“, they can’t “Tromp on Out of there!!” etc,
So in futility they “flip” theOtherEnd of themselves (their MiddleFingers) at theSafetyOfficers and stop attempting to flee.
7 Flood-basalt volcanism
yes, yes.
Some things just “come out” hot, scalding!!
Just erupting and spewing,
just oozing down her Visage onto Cleavage!!
omg..... am I saying this!?
But isn’t that a hand-in Hand thing!!
Isolation, coHabitation, Volcanastic eruption!? !!
8 Gerbil epidemics!!
So far,
theSam!! has seen just 3 Hampsters out in theVillage!!
and 2 Hammocks!!
3 Ham Hocks for dinner!!
and 8 clothing Hampers while looking for Drugs.
Frankly I don’t see how Pets, sleepingSwings, Food or dirtyLinen could end theWorld,
but then again, I never really had to buy ANY of these things either.
I just saw them when visiting, eating or Searching!!
9 Gerbil warming ?!
Is this a Trick question?!
I’d say either theMicrowave, theOven or theWoodBurningStove!!
and yet again, I don’t quite frankly see, just how this could end theWorld!!
Now.
If this was an “Verbal Warning!!” instead, then I might see how this could end an Villagers!! world real quick.
How it could cut through theHaze!!, remove an Inebriate!! from his cocoon of Warmth & Comfort!!
How it could also stop theSam!! from erupting any more SolarFlare CameraFlashes and stop taking pictures of cute VillageChixxx!!
-glum- d:o(
10 VillageEgo!! system collapse
-shock!!- d:oO
this happens all theTime on Saturdays and Sundays in the homes of theAffluent and theUnTouched!!
When they fight over theLast Pancake or batch of bacon, when the realization that their OrangeJuice is gone!! GONE!!
They drank it up theNightBefore!! while partying. And who left theDoors unlocked!!
Who was last one to passOut!? There’s nothing left to drink.
even theCranBerryJuice is gone!!
But noOne remembers drinking THAT up, and they argue,
and halfway across theVillage!!,
theSam!! sits at his office computer typing up reports and forms,
quietly sipping “HIS” cranberry juice while theMarriedCouple and friends argue over theLast EggoWaffle to eat,
Anything to get food in their stomachs and to get theAlcoholAfterTaste out of their mouths, but in theMidst of shouting and shoving,
theLastEggo!! falls to the floor and everyone gasps in horror as “Scruffy” theYoung sledDogPup eats it,
delights in the syrupy-buttery flavor and then he trots on over by his Masterz boots and collapses to sleep!!
11 Biotech disaster!!
Everyone in theVillage!! is busy smokingSuperWEED!! and theSam!! is being a SuperPEST!! about it.
Every Pot and Pipe confiscation is such a disaster to each villageHouseHOLD!!
Every Bic pen “body”, every tube of rolled up TinFoil taken by theOfficer!! is a crime against VillageHumanity!!
oh theHumiliation!!
*inhales / sucking Sounds!!*
12 Particle accelerator mishap
“London's Sunday Times reported that the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) on Long Island, New York, might create a subatomic black hole that would slowly nibble away our planet. Alternately, it might create exotic bits of altered matter, called strangelets, that would obliterate whatever ordinary matter they met.”
Oddly enough, out in theVillage!! we also have out own RHIC’s every day!!
These “Really High, Inebriate Contacts!!” or to put it another way, we Officers have daily “contact” with “Really High, Inebriated” villagers!!
In fact,
One Village neighborhood that I patrolled, had about 3-4 cross streets and 4 Longitudinal / Long streets that, when doing just ONE complete driving circuit was about 2 miles around,
from what scientific reading I’ve done in the past on these IonColliders, is that scientists smash atoms from really heavy elements like “Gold” together by sending these Elements around an 2mile circuit track using magnetic fields
and then theScientists send another element racing around the circuit track in theOpposite direction and they analyze theCrash test results and “Images” they gather of theEvent.
It’s really cool,
Cos during HighSchool when I got on an Astronomy binge for a year and read up on everything and anything I could find about science.
I could sense that, from an Point of View of “Who Made All of This Happen?!”
That an higher Intelligence / a God / theCreator was theOne that made everything.
And long ago when I read about how scientists send elements round and round a circuit track and then smash them together and see what happens,
I thought that was the end of my involvement in the subject. That I’d never ever be an “scientist” way out in theVillage!!
I never knew that by being an VPSO, and that my influence and Presence in theVillage!! would often send the”Bad Elements” of theVillage!!,
whom were carrying heavy loads of “Goldschlager”, racing around trying to get away from me and eventually we would collide, or meet!!
and then an ArrestEvent!! would occur, erh..
Usually after a brief flash of Violence, of altercation, a brief contest of wills etc.
Yep.
Science is a daily occurance out here in theVillage!!
Unfortunately, I’m still sitting in theVillageCorner!!
wearing theDunce!! cap
-sad- d:o(
13 Nanotechnology disaster!!
Gray goo!!
Hmmpphhh!!
Mine is pearly white!!
-Happy!!- d:oD
If you think about it,
things already blow about upon theWind, upon theAir, and are carried about to and fro.
it’s called Perfume!!
And theWomen!! are already using this “Essence” to wreak havoc upon Mankind’s senses,
destroying his Logic, his Reasoning and his financial & Physical Health!!
theOnly Cool thing I could see coming from Tiny microScopic machines replicating themselves and building things up and maintaining things would be,
if BreastImplants on Women!! could be done like this.
To have some of that superWater, the 9 water!! just recreate itself all nice, gooey and firm!!
If this could be done in my LifeTime then I’d buy stock in the participating companies!!
14 Environmental toxins
Wow..
Our Villagers!! sometimes belch dioxins after drinking or toking!!
And our villageHeavyMetals that spread are those expensive alcohol bottled drinks that contain flecks of Real Gold and Silver!!
Even theWorm!! is alive and kicking when someone drinks it down!!
even when I’m cooking on theHotPlate!! in my LodgeRoom!!
My essence of Hamburger, reinDeer Sausage and Potatos & Eggs just waft throughout theLodge and disturb all theGuests, OfficeWorkers and visitors!!
Strange how no one complains when I make FriedBread!!
15 Global war
Willful SelfDestruction.
In a word, for us Natives,
ALCOHOL!!
I know, I know. I TOO drink!!
But I’m on this nice friendly side of theSpectrum and not living on 3rd of 4th Ave and begging for $,
being totally unclean and no Possessions, no Hopes, no Dreams,
I guess that I would whole heartedly support this item.
And for a time, I did show that support by enlisting at one time!!
I became a small part, a small moving, expendable part of theMilitaryMachine that is our U.S. Armed forces.
I believe in our Nation AS IT IS today.
I believe that every man, woman & child “Legally” here within theBorders of my Country have a right to be protected from harm, from our Enemies, at all costs,
Because on a much smaller scale,
a Village!! scale, that those few people, those Sober people who want alcohol to NOT be in theVillage!!
and whom do not want Violence and Abuse-that come with Alcohol (eventually) to be in their midst,
Their feelings, their wishes and their Demands I do obey.
And I stop Cars of suspected Bootleggers, and Everyone gets out, and I search for Alcohol.
Most often I am guided in my searches by Information passed to me by reliable sources,
Sources whom have proven to be honest, useful and unbiased!!
It is theVillageInnocent!! that I act for,
I think nothing of doing Violence to Inebriate / DrugAltered people who resist me.
I physically manhandle them, put them down and restrain them with Cuffs or FlexTies right away.
I think nothing anymore, of drawing my Extendable / collapsible steelBaton and striking someone.
I draw, strike-strike, and reHolster so quickly, it’s second nature now, of me getting my way.
it’s scary,
it’s God-like,
it’s necessary to keep the peace.
What’s so scary about seeing Violent offenders in theVillage!!, is that even though they may be theOffending Ones at the moment,
They’re theVictims too.
Because they fell victim to theClutches of Willful Self-Destruction.
They fell victim to someone elses form of BiologicalWarfare, they fell under theSpell of an Liquid that ultimately carries DEATH to those that partake.
I know this when I take a drink now, here in theCity!!
Safe from the work in theVillage!! that I once did, safe from theDangerous job of keeping OthersSafe!!
And I wonder, after seeing International conflict, national conflict and now Local,
who’s now protecting me!?
16 Robots take over!!
yes sir!! They are.
“Hi, welcome to HeartAttackJax! May I take your order please!?”
or how about this one?
“If you type Text, I can speak.. words for you!!”
“Speak ads sell your product and enrich shopperz Internet time by providing a friendly voice to words you type......
the... Sum is a dumbb buutt. and.. his Noss is reeelly beg!!”
“I am Village and you aree are are Not!!”
“How dry eye amm,”
“yes sam, you are handsome and I am gullible, but I can kick yoo in the scroattem, ha ha ha ha”
17 Mass insanity
Every 20 days for about 8 days month after month this happens!!
Mass hysteria!!
Mass crying jags,
Mass silence,
Much pouting,
Much sniffling,
Sullenness,
Staring,
Sitting,
and that’s Just ME!!
never mind theGirls and their periods!!
18 Alien invasion
Ladies and gentleman,
theEagle has landed aeons ago!!
Civilizations have come and gone and theNatives will always be here, because we are survivors!!
19 Divine interventions
Great Massage website btw.
d:oP
hubba hubba hubba!!
Enough has been said and done all in theName of religion!!
I won’t beleaguer the point anymore.
I just hope that people would leave my halo alone!!
Get your own please!!
20 Someone wakes up and realizes it was all a dream
Yikes,
especially theHeavilyEndowed GoldenBlonde ones!!
who sulked 20days a month, were moody 8 days and spoke to me the other 3!!
Well, gotta go clean up now!!
-silliness!!- d:o)
-----------------------
When theSam!!'s world ends, let's hope that he's behind theWheel AND his passengers ARE SCREAMING!!
luvs,
theSam!!
slflyinghorse
anchorage, alaska
-alaskavillagetales-
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