Princess Pill
Due to recent weather & atmospheric conditions, theFollowing AlaskanPrincess Lodge Activities are Discouraged until Further Notice!!:
-Painting theBar walls with your Roomies butt.
Remember that they have "Backs", "Legs" and even Hair too that you can use. Diversify!!
-Making smiley faces in Ketsup, Mayo and Mustard on all BurgerBunz & Sandwiches before serving them to theGuests!!
We don't care if 2 Servers and NightSecurity were Art Majors at one time.
-Funneling beer through theKitchen turkey basters, theMotorPool Oil funnels or NightSecurity's shotgun barrel!!
You kidz, what ever happened to theGood old days of just using the damn cans and bottles the stuff came in?!
-Laundry origami.
I do not like it when some smart aleck decides to "shortsheet" a few guests. And although some Guests like to see "mountains", "Oceans" and even diaramas of theLodge or theState done to their room furnishings,
Sadly, some Guests do not appreciate having to unfold a Queen comforter from an wash clothe sized "squirrel" figure.
remember, most of my.. Our guests are OLD people. and old people have Arthritis and gnarled hands!!
-Sunbathing nude on theSouthLawn.
My corneas still hurt!! although most of you Kidz are nice looking and all, it's not theLooks I complain of. But most of you are Whiter than ME and my 5 Lodge Sisters!!
When Sleeping Lady and that crotchity bag Mz Mont McKinley, whom both live hundreds of miles away, complain about your brightness then we obviously have a problem!!
When you break theAperture settings and overload theWhiteBalance sensors in my Google satellites in the heavens above, then we obviously have another problem!!
-Water "Boarding" Tournament. We know that some of you may get kidnapped by CelebrityXXXCruises or by Mz HollandAmerica but come on!!
This tourism Industry isn't even THAT cut throat. *sigh*
*Note to Self!!*
The 3 kids we "borrowed" from Carnival are to be handed over to Security and will sit with him at thePiano with headphones ON as he practices until they tell us their Booking procedures & Ship to shore security protocols.
-Pet Manicures. We know a lot of you girls brought your dogs with you this year.
Yes theFlowers are sprouting wonderfully by theTrail to theLodge thank you. But if you want to keep Fido clean theRiver is 1/2mile away.
The noise from those Pooches is deafening at night and I'm getting tired of "waking up" in theBushes or out in theForest (after partying with you kidz) to that barking!
Do what Security did and get a damn cat!!
-Highlighting your hair with Citrus & Lemons smuggled out of Dry storage & theBar.
hello...
that's why I had the 3500sq ft Salon & Spa wing built not only for theGuests but for you Kidz too!!
-Getting Tattoos from each other using old CD & tape player motors, needles from Infirmary and stealing Paint from Maintainance Shed.
I said, that theSalon & Spa wing also has such facilities for these activ.. Oh never mind, MY tresses are turning gray even talking of this.
-Hosting 6 inch and foot long Hotdog eating contests right after theTEN!!Channel free movie view weekends in EmployeeHousing!!
You girls are upsetting theBoys by leering at them and making lewd comments.
Ha!! as if....
oh.. one more thing.
Guys, Sorry that I too made fun of you.
When I had my Index finger and Thumb together eevveerr SSOO slightly rubbing them together.....
I didn't have my Tweezers with me that moment!!
-Shaving your legs with theKitchen Ulu's. Girlz Listen UP!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If I catch any of you nonKitchenStaff in theKitchen after hours I will not only shave your Legs.
Your nosehairs will be theONLY hair left on/IN your body!! I'll even take those "hairlike" cells off your ear drums.
As for NightSecurity, You Listen UP!! If I catch you in theKitchen (again!!) after hours "I'm" eating that sandwich or what ever you have at the time,
and after you take a bite and chew........you'll be feeding it to me too!!
-Mowing theLawn with theNew Level5 and Katrina!! oscilating Shop fans. Although the new Lawn hedge & tree sculptures look great, thanks guys My thighs don't look so big!! nevertheless.
We use those fans to dry out theGreatRooms every weekend during carpet shampooing.
And this year you kidz will have to find another Power source for your soapBox derbys, don't use theOld oscilating fans we have in storage.
Especially after NightSecurity, PrepCooks and Audit/Finance built an motor for that 400sq ft Tandem Chute last year, we still haven't been able to find those two girls that flight tested theChute and flew south over the horizon.
You're making me and my 5 Lodge sisters look bad... oh.. never mind, I'm heading back to theBar when I'm finished here.
-Anything involving Unsanctioned Nudity.
And especially anything not Involving ME being nude!! After all, I'M thePrincess!! around here, not you kidz.
Granted that after theWeekLong training, sleep deprivation and CustomerService bootcamp is done,
It's great that you all walk, talk and sound like me and my 5 sisters and thus you represent US here in Alaska, but give us a break.
We were here first!! and you'll be long gone in a few short months anyway so keep your clothes on!!
Besides, we already have this seasons lineUp of employee / Dancers for our adultLounge.
-Dental Work of any kind.
If you kidz wanna Foxy box and have your own FightClubz, go to town for that.
This is why I wanted to drop Dental from our Seasonal employment package,
thank Goodness for you kidz that my Auntie Mz NorthernBrooksPrincess said to keep it on one more year until we got points premiums for our 4 yr quota, but after that,
No more Medical and Dental for you seasonal workers.
And btw, I'll miss theFoxy Boxing Tourneys, I still got a Left!!
-Bobbing for Apples using theEmployee HotTubs.
And I'm talking ONLY to theGirls here. (Necking on theBoys) hence the reference to Adams apples and other....
-Making Birthday Cakes.
I get tired of thePotters wheels in theKitchens when a few Couples make bread dowh!! or any kind of Dough "GHOST" style (theMovie) and then leave theFreezer open, (9 1/2weeks) theMovie food scene.
Nobody cleans up the mess after wards especially when using theCake frosting tubes and theTurkeyBasters to insert....
anyway, cut it out!!
Besides, I don't like being reminded of my mortality, ggeez.
I still cringe after thinking of my one sister ending up Spitting!! on her Cake candles to get them all put out.
I don't want any movie footage of me to be out there too.
If you wanna make ME happy then just give me theDamn birthday presents and get back to work!!
-Wine Tasting without my strict approval!!
(and supervision)
See the note above about theFunnels!!
You kidz have no class either, ending up Slamming your drinks.
that's no way to treat our Salmon berries we pick in the Mountains and theGrapes we import and Stomp with our own dainty Princess feet!!
You kidz went through 200yrs of perfectly good berries last year, damn it!!
ssoo... how was it?! did we add enough sugar, spruce bark and herbs?!
-Portrait Art that doesn't involve ME!! and / or my other sisters.
And we don't like none of that sissy "classical" art, we LLOOVVEE full frontals and in your Face... *ahem*
Remember this credo, WE are thePrincess', not you kidz!!
-Eating Pizza by the Slice.
Eating Rice by theGrain,
Chewing on Ice cubes one at a time,
Licking Ice cream,
OMG!!! Now I'm microManaging.
I'm becoming my own Auntie Mz NorthernBrooks!!
scratch that.
Who wants to Streak theLobby and up through the3rd Floors with me at Dinner time!?
luvs,
theAlaskanPrincess!!
-Painting theBar walls with your Roomies butt.
Remember that they have "Backs", "Legs" and even Hair too that you can use. Diversify!!
-Making smiley faces in Ketsup, Mayo and Mustard on all BurgerBunz & Sandwiches before serving them to theGuests!!
We don't care if 2 Servers and NightSecurity were Art Majors at one time.
-Funneling beer through theKitchen turkey basters, theMotorPool Oil funnels or NightSecurity's shotgun barrel!!
You kidz, what ever happened to theGood old days of just using the damn cans and bottles the stuff came in?!
-Laundry origami.
I do not like it when some smart aleck decides to "shortsheet" a few guests. And although some Guests like to see "mountains", "Oceans" and even diaramas of theLodge or theState done to their room furnishings,
Sadly, some Guests do not appreciate having to unfold a Queen comforter from an wash clothe sized "squirrel" figure.
remember, most of my.. Our guests are OLD people. and old people have Arthritis and gnarled hands!!
-Sunbathing nude on theSouthLawn.
My corneas still hurt!! although most of you Kidz are nice looking and all, it's not theLooks I complain of. But most of you are Whiter than ME and my 5 Lodge Sisters!!
When Sleeping Lady and that crotchity bag Mz Mont McKinley, whom both live hundreds of miles away, complain about your brightness then we obviously have a problem!!
When you break theAperture settings and overload theWhiteBalance sensors in my Google satellites in the heavens above, then we obviously have another problem!!
-Water "Boarding" Tournament. We know that some of you may get kidnapped by CelebrityXXXCruises or by Mz HollandAmerica but come on!!
This tourism Industry isn't even THAT cut throat. *sigh*
*Note to Self!!*
The 3 kids we "borrowed" from Carnival are to be handed over to Security and will sit with him at thePiano with headphones ON as he practices until they tell us their Booking procedures & Ship to shore security protocols.
-Pet Manicures. We know a lot of you girls brought your dogs with you this year.
Yes theFlowers are sprouting wonderfully by theTrail to theLodge thank you. But if you want to keep Fido clean theRiver is 1/2mile away.
The noise from those Pooches is deafening at night and I'm getting tired of "waking up" in theBushes or out in theForest (after partying with you kidz) to that barking!
Do what Security did and get a damn cat!!
-Highlighting your hair with Citrus & Lemons smuggled out of Dry storage & theBar.
hello...
that's why I had the 3500sq ft Salon & Spa wing built not only for theGuests but for you Kidz too!!
-Getting Tattoos from each other using old CD & tape player motors, needles from Infirmary and stealing Paint from Maintainance Shed.
I said, that theSalon & Spa wing also has such facilities for these activ.. Oh never mind, MY tresses are turning gray even talking of this.
-Hosting 6 inch and foot long Hotdog eating contests right after theTEN!!Channel free movie view weekends in EmployeeHousing!!
You girls are upsetting theBoys by leering at them and making lewd comments.
Ha!! as if....
oh.. one more thing.
Guys, Sorry that I too made fun of you.
When I had my Index finger and Thumb together eevveerr SSOO slightly rubbing them together.....
I didn't have my Tweezers with me that moment!!
-Shaving your legs with theKitchen Ulu's. Girlz Listen UP!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If I catch any of you nonKitchenStaff in theKitchen after hours I will not only shave your Legs.
Your nosehairs will be theONLY hair left on/IN your body!! I'll even take those "hairlike" cells off your ear drums.
As for NightSecurity, You Listen UP!! If I catch you in theKitchen (again!!) after hours "I'm" eating that sandwich or what ever you have at the time,
and after you take a bite and chew........you'll be feeding it to me too!!
-Mowing theLawn with theNew Level5 and Katrina!! oscilating Shop fans. Although the new Lawn hedge & tree sculptures look great, thanks guys My thighs don't look so big!! nevertheless.
We use those fans to dry out theGreatRooms every weekend during carpet shampooing.
And this year you kidz will have to find another Power source for your soapBox derbys, don't use theOld oscilating fans we have in storage.
Especially after NightSecurity, PrepCooks and Audit/Finance built an motor for that 400sq ft Tandem Chute last year, we still haven't been able to find those two girls that flight tested theChute and flew south over the horizon.
You're making me and my 5 Lodge sisters look bad... oh.. never mind, I'm heading back to theBar when I'm finished here.
-Anything involving Unsanctioned Nudity.
And especially anything not Involving ME being nude!! After all, I'M thePrincess!! around here, not you kidz.
Granted that after theWeekLong training, sleep deprivation and CustomerService bootcamp is done,
It's great that you all walk, talk and sound like me and my 5 sisters and thus you represent US here in Alaska, but give us a break.
We were here first!! and you'll be long gone in a few short months anyway so keep your clothes on!!
Besides, we already have this seasons lineUp of employee / Dancers for our adultLounge.
-Dental Work of any kind.
If you kidz wanna Foxy box and have your own FightClubz, go to town for that.
This is why I wanted to drop Dental from our Seasonal employment package,
thank Goodness for you kidz that my Auntie Mz NorthernBrooksPrincess said to keep it on one more year until we got points premiums for our 4 yr quota, but after that,
No more Medical and Dental for you seasonal workers.
And btw, I'll miss theFoxy Boxing Tourneys, I still got a Left!!
-Bobbing for Apples using theEmployee HotTubs.
And I'm talking ONLY to theGirls here. (Necking on theBoys) hence the reference to Adams apples and other....
-Making Birthday Cakes.
I get tired of thePotters wheels in theKitchens when a few Couples make bread dowh!! or any kind of Dough "GHOST" style (theMovie) and then leave theFreezer open, (9 1/2weeks) theMovie food scene.
Nobody cleans up the mess after wards especially when using theCake frosting tubes and theTurkeyBasters to insert....
anyway, cut it out!!
Besides, I don't like being reminded of my mortality, ggeez.
I still cringe after thinking of my one sister ending up Spitting!! on her Cake candles to get them all put out.
I don't want any movie footage of me to be out there too.
If you wanna make ME happy then just give me theDamn birthday presents and get back to work!!
-Wine Tasting without my strict approval!!
(and supervision)
See the note above about theFunnels!!
You kidz have no class either, ending up Slamming your drinks.
that's no way to treat our Salmon berries we pick in the Mountains and theGrapes we import and Stomp with our own dainty Princess feet!!
You kidz went through 200yrs of perfectly good berries last year, damn it!!
ssoo... how was it?! did we add enough sugar, spruce bark and herbs?!
-Portrait Art that doesn't involve ME!! and / or my other sisters.
And we don't like none of that sissy "classical" art, we LLOOVVEE full frontals and in your Face... *ahem*
Remember this credo, WE are thePrincess', not you kidz!!
-Eating Pizza by the Slice.
Eating Rice by theGrain,
Chewing on Ice cubes one at a time,
Licking Ice cream,
OMG!!! Now I'm microManaging.
I'm becoming my own Auntie Mz NorthernBrooks!!
scratch that.
Who wants to Streak theLobby and up through the3rd Floors with me at Dinner time!?
luvs,
theAlaskanPrincess!!
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